Page 19

Nox

In the days that follow my ill-advised proclamation, both Bastian and Siobhan move carefully around me as if attempting to cage a wild animal. They’re not wrong to do so. I still don’t know how to feel, how to handle my pride battling with my desire. I want to blame my reckless words on being woozy from overusing magic again. The truth is significantly less convenient.

I do still care about Bastian. My friendship with Siobhan has always had the potential to deepen. And that scares the shit out of me. I know the cost of loving someone whose future isn’t their own; for better or worse, Bastian ensured I learned that lesson the hard way. He may have shucked some of the hold his family had on him, but he replaced it with the rebellion. Siobhan is the damned leader of the rebellion. I will never come first for either of them, no matter the circumstances.

Maybe I could live with knowing that, could find a way to navigate those treacherous waters now that we’re all in our thirties instead of barely more than children.

But we don’t have any kind of assurance of a future, let alone a future with the time to indulge in personal relationships. I could die. Worse, they could die. It would hurt me now to lose them. If I let them any closer?

It might destroy me.

The crew is more and more on edge with each day that passes as we journey toward Three Sisters. I don’t have the words to reassure them. Every moment that we sail north and east and north again, we’re all on high alert for crimson sails on the horizon, every person working their ass off to keep us afloat in the storm. Bastian’s glamour faded away when his concentration did, but the storm would have helped confuse things. With any luck, Morrigan and the others are still out there, sure that their prey is just out of sight. But I know better than to wager our success on luck alone.

The Three Sisters are a trio of islands at the very end of the north–south trade route. I never like coming here. It reminds me far too much of Lyari. Only Mairi on Second Sister is a true urban sprawl. Third Sister is the smallest of the trio, and only a few hardy souls live out there on the windswept rocks. First Sister, on the other hand, desperately wants to be something it’s not. Its capital city, Kanghri, seems like it’s filled with all the undesirables from its sister city, Mairi. The people of Kanghri are forced to crouch on one side of the narrow straight and watch the glittering, glowing city that they’ll never be welcomed into. It sets the stage for resentment and hatred, which means it’s only a matter of time before the Three Sisters go to war with themselves.

If I had any choice, I never would have come here. The trade route is heavily patrolled by the C?n Annwn. The only reason I can figure out that we haven’t seen any since our desperate flight from the storm is because we came in at an angled approach that didn’t bring us past any ports. But that will change. Sailing into the bay is a huge risk, far too much for me to agree to.

Eyal stands next to me as always, his expression a perpetual frown these days. “What angle of approach do you want to take?”

“We can’t risk using any of the official ports.” I recognize the stubborn look on his face, but cling to my patience with both hands. “It’s the only way, Eyal. We’ll anchor the ship just offshore of First Sister, and two small teams will take a pair of boats in—one to find Dia and one to resupply. I know the crew needs a break and could use some time ashore, but it’s not safe for us to disperse. We need to be able to run at a moment’s notice.”

If I could have risked it, I would have turned south the moment we were clear of pursuit, but I left the old woman in Kanghri, so that’s where we need to look for her. The more time we spend running, the greater the opportunity the C?n Annwn have to create a net to trap us. If the horn truly is the way to end this war before it properly starts, then we can’t waste any time doing exactly that.

“Yes, I’m aware.” Eyal waves my explanation away. “The part of the plan I’m getting stuck on is where we anchor in a shallow surf with violent currents. We’ll either be washed ashore or thrown upon the reef. Neither option does much for our chances of survival.”

I haven’t had what the spoiled nobles in the capital city would call an easy life. I’ve fought from the moment I first drew breath, and never more so than once I realized how unfair this world really is. With all that said, the last few days have been some of the most exhausting I’ve experienced. It’s so challenging to pull forth a charming smile and inject cheer into my weary tone. “Come now, Eyal. Maybe that would be true of other ships, but this is the Audacity , with you as the navigator and Poet as quartermaster. I have no doubt that you will make easy work of it.”

He’s used to my shenanigans, so he’s not convinced. I didn’t truly expect him to be. He props his hands on his hips and gives me a long look. “Coming in through Third Sister would be safer. Those beaches are significantly less dangerous, and the island is all but uninhabited.”

“That’s true, but Third Sister means we have to travel through the bulk of First Sister to get to Kanghri—which makes a quick getaway all but impossible.” I shrug, tension riding high in my shoulders. “I don’t like this, either. With any luck, we’ll be in and out of Kanghri within a few hours, with the Crimson Hag ’s old navigator in tow. I just need you to hold steady until then.”

Eyal nods. “Be quick, then. Otherwise, you’ll only have wreckage to return to.”

“Dramatic to the bitter end, aren’t we?” My smile fades away. “We’ll see each other through this. I promise.”

“Don’t go making promises you can’t have any hope of keeping.” He narrows his eyes. “Who are you taking with your team?”

That’s the question, isn’t it? There’s absolutely no chance of taking Siobhan and Bastian with me. Bastian was just picked up from Mairi a relatively short time ago, and there’s enough crossover between the two cities that it’s too large a risk. The C?n Annwn have a habit of putting out notices to ensure that the civilian population does the dirty work of tracking down their targets. At least when those targets are of the humanoid variety.

Monsters are easy enough to find.

“I’m inclined to leave Lizzie here with you.” It will do double duty of ensuring Maeve stays safe, which will please the vampire, and protecting the ship. Lizzie can hold off a small army on her own if she’s not holding back—or at least a small army of people with limited magic. When it comes to Morrigan and the heavy hitters on her ship, even the vampire would only last ten minutes at the very most. But ten minutes is a small eternity in a battle, which makes her invaluable. “Dia knows Bowen and Evelyn, so I’ll likely take them with me and leave everyone else. We’ll move faster with just three.”

For a moment, it seems like Eyal might continue arguing with me, but he finally nods. “Those two will keep you safe and watch your back. We’ll do our best to ensure you have a ship to return to.” He eyes the islands in the distance. “Best to circle around Third Sister. No reason to give the bloated rich in Mairi even a glimpse of us if the north is our goal.”

“Sounds like a plan.” I clasp him on the shoulder and then move along. Poet and I have a nearly identical conversation, but she comes around the same way that Eyal did, and sets her sights on putting together the second team to get supplies. There’s a reason they’re my closest confidants on the Audacity . Poet is the voice of the crew themselves, and while occasionally we butt heads, we’re in agreement that the goal is keeping everyone safe.

It’s a testament to Bastian’s exhaustion that I don’t see either him or Siobhan in the hours it takes us to circle widely around the islands. A flicker of guilt inside me says that I should go explain the plan to them before leaving, but after that last conversation, I’ll admit that cowardice is winning. There are too many messy emotions inside me, and they run the risk of distracting me when I need my focus the most.

Or that’s what I tell myself. The truth is significantly uglier. Bastian didn’t have much to say after my proclamation, and Siobhan hustled out of the room rather quickly. I’m afraid that, while they both independently showed interest, their intentions never went beyond interest and into action. Someday, when this is all over, they’ll resume their relationship, I’ll retreat back to the safe embrace of my crew, and we’ll never see each other again. Better to start that retreat now, before my heart becomes any more entangled.

The crew is looking particularly haggard as we find a spot just past the wave break on the north side of First Sister to throw down anchor. It’s several hundred yards to shore, and even with my magic, it’s going to be a rough ride, but at least the Audacity will get to rest for a short while.

I glance at Poet as the pair of boats are lowered toward the surface of the water. “If there’s trouble, cut anchor and go. Don’t try to come for us, and certainly don’t wait. We’ll catch up with you when we can.”

Poet’s lips thin, but she finally nods. No one likes giving that order, but it’s the smart one to follow. It makes no sense for them to die trying to save us when we are more than capable of stealing a sloop and following. Assuming we’re alive to do it.

Bowen and Evelyn appear, both their cheeks rosy enough that I suspect they were having one last hurrah before heading into even more direct danger. I don’t tease them. I’m too busy weighing exactly how empty my magical reserves are. I’ve recovered from the fog, more or less, but when I get this low, my well refills slower than it usually does. Normally, I find that spending hours in the midst of the elements themselves, swimming or other things, helps, but there hasn’t been time for that.

I prod at my magic, frowning. Is my well shallower than it was before? Surely not. I barely passed out after using the amplification circle. I wasn’t even unconscious for an hour, let alone long enough to require Orchid’s help. Even so, my skin prickles in warning. I’ll have to be careful going forward—or at least attempt to be.

I turn to the four crew members doing the supply run. “Take the ship around the west side of the island, closer to the city. It’s best that you aren’t seen with me.” They nod and climb down into their boat. My magic aches as I pull it forth and use the waves to send them rushing west. They’ll have to start rowing before too long, but the boost is helpful all the same.

Then I turn to Evelyn and Bowen. “We’ll only take Dia if she wants to come,” I say quietly. “This isn’t a kidnapping. We’ll ask our questions, and that’ll be the end of it.”

“That’s good, because I wouldn’t allow you to kidnap her. That woman is like a mother to me, and if she’s managed to avoid joining another crew, there’s a reason for it.”

“It will be nice to see her again.” Evelyn’s pretty face goes a little wistful. “She reminds me of my grandmother.”

The waves are too choppy to safely exit the ship for the boat, so Bowen lowers us one by one into the waiting boat and then follows us down. We have enough magic between the three of us that we’d manage just fine, but this is simpler.

As soon as we’re settled, I send us moving forward. My magic ensures we have no need for oars. “The reef makes the route to shore damn near impassable in places, but we should be okay.”

“As long as we aren’t foolish,” Bowen says mildly. He’s got a fistful of Evelyn’s shirt, his hold actively keeping her from spilling into the sea as she leans over the edge of the boat to peer into the depths.

“I forgot how clear the water is here.” Evelyn is nothing if not an opportunist when it comes to new experiences. She and Bowen spent some time on First Sister before coming aboard my ship and helping me rid the world of Hedd. They don’t talk much about what happened here, but it seemed to change everything when it comes to Bowen’s perception of the C?n Annwn. After leaving First Sister, he was firmly on the side of the rebellion.

“Careful there.” I don’t reach out and add my hand to Bowen’s to keep her aboard. All my concentration is required to navigate the reef that seemed to rise up out of nowhere. The good news is that this small bay is dangerous enough that not even the most foolhardy local would attempt to swim or fish here. As a result, we have no witnesses to our journey.

Evelyn grins as if she wants to push us, but manages to sit back firmly in her seat once more. I can’t quite tell if Bowen breathes a sigh of relief, but I surely do. She tilts her head back and closes her eyes, her blond hair ruffling in the wind. “You know, it would have been so much faster if Bowen just lifted the entire boat and brought us to shore.”

“I’m aware of Bowen’s power, which is why I’d like to keep it saved for a moment when we truly need it. There’s no reason to exhaust him with this sort of thing.” I shoot him a look. “And if we have to make a quick exit, we’re going to need it.”