Page 20

Siobhan

I stare at Poet, sure that I am misunderstanding what the fuck she’s saying to me right now. “Nox…left?”

Unlike her wayward captain, Poet has the grace to look guilty. Her face flushes and she can’t quite meet my gaze. “A bare hour ago.”

I turn without entirely meaning to and stare hard at the coastline. There are plenty of nooks and crannies on most of the islands in Threshold, and I know the best places to approach if I don’t want to be seen. That kind of secrecy isn’t possible on the Audacity ; it’s too large. It makes sense for Nox to lay anchor out here and then ride in. What doesn’t make sense is leaving me behind.

“Unacceptable.”

Poet’s mouth thins. “They took Bowen and Evelyn, and even if they hadn’t, Nox can handle whatever Kanghri can throw at them.”

I’m not convinced. My sister is on the hunt. No matter what experience Nox has with Morrigan, they still don’t fully understand what she’s capable of. They can’t.

I glance over as Bastian walks up. His skin still appears waxy and the deep circles under his eyes haven’t fully faded, but he’s looking significantly better than he did even a few days ago. I quickly bring him up to speed.

Unsurprisingly, he’s just as thrilled as I am by this new development. “They didn’t even tell us that they were going to shore.”

“I know.” I once again study the shoreline. “They’re running.”

It’s a testament to Bastian’s long history with me that I don’t have to elaborate for him to understand what I’m saying. “It’s understandable that they’d be spooked. From what I’ve gathered from the people who have sailed with them the longest, Nox has had plenty of romantic entanglements over the years, but they’ve never had…” He shifts uncomfortably. “I hurt them badly, Siobhan.”

I may understand Nox’s reasoning, but they have flirted with magical burnout twice in the relatively short time since I came aboard. If they’re fleeing an emotional entanglement with us, they’re more likely to take dangerous risks. I shrug out of my jacket and pass it to him. “I’m going after them.”

Bastian looks at my jacket as if it might bite him. “I’m going, too.”

“Absolutely not.”

“Neither of you can go.” Poet clears her throat. “We can’t spare another boat, and even if we could, you won’t make it safely to shore.”

“I can.” After a short debate with myself, I remove my boots and tie them together with enough slack that they can loop around my shoulders. “I will.”

“But—”

“And I won’t need a boat.”

“Siobhan.” Bastian stops me with a hand on my shoulder. “If you mean to shift, then you need me. I can use my magic to keep you invisible, but only when you’re within eyesight. It will be significantly less effort if I’m with you.”

I want to shut him down, but he has a point. A gigantic hound being sighted will cause a panic and ensure that the C?n Anwnn show up even faster. I step closer to Bastian and lower my voice. “Can you do it safely? Don’t lie to me.”

“Yes.” He answers with no hesitation. “It’s a lot easier to hide something than it is to create a new image from nothing. I won’t be a burden, Siobhan. I swear it.”

“So be it.” I can’t help the fierce smile that plasters itself across my face. It’s been so long since we’ve done something like this. Even though I have taken more and more risks in some ways, the end result is that I’m not needed directly as often as I used to be. Our network is vast and varied, and that’s a blessing in every way. But there’s a part of me that misses it. That misses this.

“Let’s go.” I walk to the railing and step up onto it. Some of the crew members are whispering among themselves, but no one tries to stop me as I dive deep beneath the waves. Seconds later, Bastian joins me, a rope looped around his chest.

“Here.” He tosses the other end to me, and I waste no time slipping it around me. We’ve only done this a few times, and never in circumstances as dangerous as this, but I’m more than strong enough to see us through.

Without another word, I cut through the waves, towing him behind me. The currents are particularly nasty in this area, but I’m far stronger than any human and most monsters. I drag us beneath the surf to avoid the break. The reef is a bit trickier to navigate. It’s home to small sharks, and although they are shy and tend to keep to themselves, they are fiercely territorial when breeding season is upon them. Thankfully, that’s still months out from now. We’re able to pass by without issue.

Even with all my strength, I’m shaking by the time I stumble up on the rocky beach and help Bastian to his feet. “You okay?”

“I’m good.” He’s as out of breath as I am, but there’s a small smile pulling at his lips. “Just like old times, eh?”

“Yeah.” I can’t help returning his smile. It really is nice to be moving again. I give myself a rough shake. Walking to Kanghri in wet clothing is not ideal, but there’s a safe house not too far from here.

I turn around and cast one last glance at the ship. It seems shockingly small in the distance. I can’t help but search the relatively calm waters that stretch to the horizon, half-certain that the moment I turn my back, my sister will appear and lay waste to the innocent people aboard. But the horizon is empty. They’re safe enough for now.

“Straight to Kanghri or stop at the safe house first to change?”

We’re about an hour behind Nox and the others, which would be enough to ensure they’ll reach the city before we do. That is doubly true if we stop at one of the safe houses on the island to change our clothes. Or at least it would be true if I stay in this form. “Safe house first.”

I clamber over the rocks and out of sight of the ship, Bastian on my heels. He keeps quiet as I pause and slowly strip out of my clothing, knowing how hard this is for me. My hands are shaking. How strange and odd and silly. I’ve only shape-shifted fully a handful of times since fleeing Lyari all those years ago.

To do so now feels like the height of recklessness, even with Bastian’s glamour hiding us, but there’s no damned time. With an hour lead, Nox and the others will reach Kanghri before nightfall. I can get to the safe house and back in my second form well before then. This is logical and a good choice.

Fear still curls through my stomach as I close my eyes and exhale slowly. From what I understand, normal shifters have to summon their other selves. It’s an effort, a fight, a bloody battle that leaves them shaking and weak for a few moments afterward while they become accustomed to their second form. It’s not like that with me.

Instead, it’s an unclenching. I allow a part of myself to relax that I normally keep twisted up tightly. Between one breath and the next, my center of gravity changes and I hit the ground on four paws. There’s no pain, only a slight tingling that courses over my body as skin changes to fur and my eyes shift red and become capable of seeing a great distance and even better in the dark.

I am…home.

“Siobhan,” Bastian breathes. “Gods, but I forget how stunning you are in this form.” I lower myself so he can clamber up onto my back and wait until he’s settled into place. His weight is barely noticeable. He strokes my back as the air around us wavers slightly. “We’re covered. Go.”

I take off running. This is what freedom feels like, and I’ve denied myself for so long. When I was young back on Lyari, I used to sneak out of the house and then out of the city and run through the forest for hours in the night. At least until my parents found out and punished me so severely that I never dared do it again. At the time, it felt unnecessarily cruel. Now, looking back, I recognize how terrified they were when they learned of my recklessness. If a single person had seen me, had recognized what my white fur and red eyes meant, had thought to report their strange sighting to the Council, it would have spelled ruin for all of us.

Not even the C?n Annwn can cry in this form, but emotion still wells in my throat as the ground flies beneath my paws. Sharp rocks and tangled undergrowth would have kept my human form occupied for some time, but I slide easily over and under and through, slowing down slightly to avoid tossing Bastian in the process. I’m moving so quickly that I almost feel more liquid than solid. I feel elemental .

I’m so caught up in the process of running that I almost miss the safe house entirely. Bastian has to smack my shoulder to gain my attention. I circle back along the pebbled beach and cut into the narrow crevice that leads back to the house built partially into the cliffs. If I remember correctly, this is the same safe house that Nox sent Bowen and Evelyn to after they were cast ashore. We have people in Kanghri who ensure that it stays stocked for anyone who may need it, and I’m not surprised in the least to find nondescript clothing in a variety of sizes.

While Bastian changes, I pack a small bag with pants, a shirt, and boots, and loop it around my neck. He comes back into the room, his hair still windswept and cheeks still flushed. “There were a couple times back there that I thought you forgot I was on your back.”

I clear my throat. “I sort of did.”

He laughs a little. “It’s good to see you like this, Siobhan.” He moves closer and cups my face, urging me down until our breathing mingles. “Wild and reckless and free .”

“It feels good,” I whisper. I kiss him hard, desire punching me in the stomach. It would be so easy to…Except, no. We don’t have the freedom of time. I exhale shakily. “I missed you, Bastian.”

“I missed you, too.” He tugs my hair until I move back. “We have to go.”

“I know.” I brush one last kiss to his lips and retreat. “Let’s go get our wayward captain.” This time, it’s even easier to shift. As easy as breathing. I race along the beach and then cut inward toward the city. Even at this distance, I can smell it. All cities have a particularly rancid scent of human waste, garbage, and all the smells that come with a populace living in close quarters. Kanghri is no different, for all that it’s a relatively small city: larger than a village, but perpetually striving to match the expanding pace of Mairi—and perpetually coming up short.

Night has only just fallen when I stop outside the city and change back to my human form so I can dress. Bastian stumbles over to sit on a rock while I do. “I’m out of shape. I haven’t ridden since Lyari and…”

The thrill of the run still has me giddy. “You’ve ridden me plenty of times over the last year.”

“Well, uh, I, yes.” He clears his throat. “That’s not what I meant and you know it.”

“I do.” I pull on boots and straighten to pull my hood up over my head to conceal my features. “You know, it strikes me that part of the reason joy has shadowed my steps since leaving the Audacity is that I’m finally able to move . Even though we’ll be returning to the ship shortly, even though my presence here will be helpful but not fully necessary, it still feels good to take action. I’m not built for sitting back and letting others make decisions and take risks.”

“I know.” He moves to stand next to me. “I feel the same way.”

“Let’s go.” I don’t bother trying to track Nox and the others. My nose is nowhere near as good in this form, and even if it was, the city shields all when it comes to that particular sensory experience. I don’t need to anyway. I know where they’re going. Even if they don’t yet.

My most recent information on Dia places her with Cato, one of the few healers doing good work in Kanghri, despite it being a mostly thankless task. Ze also somehow manages to straddle the line of providing services for both the rebellion and the C?n Annwn. It means the latter overlooks a whole host of sins—and the prices ze charges them funds services for those who can’t afford it.

Hopefully Dia hasn’t moved on since my last update.

To my relief, when I knock on the door with a series of raps to indicate that I’m friend, not foe, it’s Dia herself who opens it to allow me in. She’s a short, wizened old woman with medium-brown skin and twinkling eyes. She grins up at me. “I wondered when you’d come around.”

“Hello, Dia.” I don’t point out that there is absolutely no possibility she could be expecting me. Dia is a weather mage, which is distinctly different from elemental users. She has no ability to control the weather itself, but she has an almost unprecedented foresight when it comes to weather patterns. It made her a navigator of unparalleled success when she was among the crew of the Crimson Hag . “There are others following behind us. Once they arrive, we’d like to ask you some questions.”

“By all means.” She opens the door wider to allow me and Bastian inside. “It was getting time to move on anyway. Cato is getting cranky about having to share zir space.”

There’s nothing else to do but step inside…and wait.