Page 25

Bastian

Seeing Siobhan in her hound form never fails to feel like I’m witnessing a miracle. She’s gorgeous, a massive white hound, long and lean, with crimson ears and eyes. Her strength humbles me. Any other shifter trying to carry five adults through dangerous currents would drown and take the lot with them. Not Siobhan.

Eyal and Poet haul me over the railing and then reach down to do the same to Nox and then Siobhan. Our little group looks terrible, soaked and shaking on the deck. Of us all, Dia appears the least bothered by the harrowing experience. The fact that Bowen and Nox are still on their feet remains shocking. We’re a mess.

Nox gives themself a shake and straightens. They lift their voice. “I’m sorry, friends, but we have to run again. Did the other team get back?”

“Just before you did.” Poet nods at the hatch. “They are unloading the supplies now.”

“We’re running again.” Eyal’s shoulders drop. “They found us so quickly?”

“Found us and aren’t interested in playing subtle.” Nox quickly recounts what occurred. I barely had time to process what I was witnessing while experiencing it, but the sharing of the events drives home how powerful Bowen and Evelyn truly are. I don’t know who else could have accomplished what their shared magic did, saving so many lives.

In Lyari, the noble families all have inherent magic, and the Council is formed of the most powerful of those, but they hoard their power and are secretive to the point of being paranoid. It made sense with Siobhan’s family, hiding their history. Or with mine, concealing forbidden magic. But the others tend to have significantly more mundane skills, if on a scale that supposedly would boggle the mind—if they ever demonstrated it. Instead, they deal in rumors and reputation, ensuring they never actually show their full hand.

If they’re all hiding people with power like Bowen’s, it’s a wonder they haven’t razed Lyari to the ground in the small wars that crop up between houses every few generations.

I shrug out of my cloak, wet as it is, and pass it to Siobhan. She wraps it around herself, but seems faintly amused when it barely conceals her nakedness. She clears her throat. “I’m going to get washed up and change.”

Nox snaps their fingers. “Hold, please.” They glance at Poet. “Get everyone on deck. We need a vote before we go any further.”

She nods. “Give me five.”

“Nox, what are you doing?” I say.

They don’t look at me. “I made the call to save you because Siobhan asked me to, and we’ve been fighting to survive ever since. What we aim to do next is nothing short of suicide, and I won’t even attempt it if the crew isn’t in agreement.”

In what world will the crew be in agreement? Especially if they talk like that . I lean forward. “Then let me talk to them. Let me explain—”

“And use your glamour to get their agreement.” They shake their head sharply. “Absolutely not.”

I jerk back, stung. “You truly think so little of me?”

“Not under normal circumstances.” Their jaw is set and they’re still not looking at me. “You’re not a bad man, Bastian, but right now you’re desperate—and desperate people cross moral lines they never would have imagined crossing in other times.”

I can’t even argue with that. I would glamour the crew if I thought I didn’t have any other choice. Not to sail directly into Lyari—not even I am that cruel—but to drop us on the other side of the island so we can make our own way into the city. That’s honestly the preferable course of action, for all that time is of the essence. The officials in Lyari tend to focus almost entirely on the bay, instead of on any foot traffic into the city. There isn’t much of it, so it would be a waste of resources.

“I will—”

Nox cuts Siobhan off. “No. They’re my crew. They’ll get their vote and we will abide by it.” They rub the back of their hand over their forehead. “No matter what the vote is, I’ll see it through. But I won’t let them continue this fight without understanding the full stakes.”

True to Poet’s word, within five minutes the crew is gathered on the deck. I search their faces, trying to divine the mood. Exhaustion seems to be the overarching theme, but beneath that, it’s hard to tell what they’re thinking.

Nox steps easily onto the railing, putting themself head and shoulders above even Bowen, the tallest here. “You all know we came to Kanghri for information. Well, we have it.” They motion at Dia. “There is a horn in Lyari that may summon the ancients that the C?n Annwn take their name and reputation from. We don’t know what will happen when we blow it, but it’s still a chance to avoid a full-out battle.”

Siobhan growls. “That’s not all of it.” She turns to the people gathered, every inch a leader despite her relative nakedness. “There are a lot of stories about the originals, and some of them come from my family, who can trace their lineage back to those very originals.”

A shocked murmur goes up among the crew. They knew she was powerful, of course; she’s displayed prowess in a number of ways since coming aboard, let alone before. But my glamour did its job and concealed the sight of her from enemy and ally alike. They haven’t witnessed her in her true glory, and even without that, I can see the effect she’s having on them.

She seems to meet every gaze individually. “The theory is that whoever blows it will be able to ask one favor of the originals. In this case, that favor would be to purge the rot from Threshold. Nox is right: we have no guarantee that it will work—or that it will result in the outcome we want. It’s entirely likely that nothing will happen if we blow it. Or that if the ancients do show up, they’ll simply kill us all.”

Lizzie snorts. “What a rousing speech.”

Nox gives her a long look and cuts in. “I won’t lie to you or anyone else on the crew. Siobhan has been searching for a way to bring the C?n Annwn down for years. This is the only plan that has even a chance of succeeding without a massive loss of life.” They take a breath. “I want you with me. I won’t pretend that any other outcome is preferable. But I value you and I won’t hold it against you if you want nothing more to do with this.”

Poet steps forward, drawing attention to herself. “We’re calling a vote. Yay to continue on this course. Nay to drop Nox and the others at the nearest safe port and sail through the portal in Skoiya to wait out this trouble in that realm.”

From the way Nox’s eyes widen briefly, they had no idea Poet was going to offer another option like that. It’s a good option, as such things go. The C?n Annwn aren’t above traveling to other realms when the situation calls for it, but it’s likely that with the right sleight of hand, Poet would be able to make a good showing of the Audacity going down, freeing the crew to disperse and start new lives.

It won’t do a damn thing to help the people stuck in Threshold, though.

The crew murmurs among themselves. Even as I try to make out the individual words, it’s impossible to know which way they’re leaning. I had foolishly thought they would take us to Lyari’s island, which shares the same name as the city. If they drop us somewhere else, we’re going to be starting from less than zero. We’d have to find a ship, and then contend with the fact that no ship can match the Audacity in speed.

There’s every chance we won’t make it to Lyari before the C?n Annwn find us.

Poet goes through the crew, quietly collecting yays and nays. Most people speak so softly, I have no idea what they’re saying. I glance at Siobhan. “Can you hear their answers?”

“Shhh. I’m counting.” She narrows her eyes, her lips moving silently.

I shift to Nox’s other shoulder. They’re holding themself perfectly still as if bracing for bad news. I honestly don’t know which way the vote will go. The crew seems to all but worship their charming captain, but if it’s a choice between love and survival? I honestly don’t know. They were happy enough to work for the rebellion, which is dangerous, but this is on another level entirely.

Poet steps forward. “I’m finished. We have three nays…and fifty-five yays. We’re with you, Nox.”

Nox’s knees buckle. I slip under their arm and grab their waist, keeping them on their feet. Their voice is only a little thick as they say, “Set sail for Lyari. Swing southwest, skirting the storms as best you can. They shouldn’t expect us to choose this destination.”

I hope they’re right. In any event, everyone from our party looks dead on their feet—except the old woman, Dia. Bowen leans heavily on Evelyn, or maybe she’s leaning on him; I can’t be sure. Siobhan is still standing strong, holding my cloak to her naked body, but she’s paler than normal. And Nox…well, Nox is shivering in my arms.

I’m not doing too well myself. Despite my claims to Siobhan that I could hold the glamour to hide her—hide us—it took a toll. I’m exhausted and weaving on my feet.

I start toward their cabin, half carrying Nox. “You can’t keep being so reckless. We need you.” I need you. Words I don’t have any right to say, but that doesn’t change the way they linger on my tongue.

It’s a testament to Nox’s exhaustion that they don’t try to shrug off my touch. Instead, they lean a little deeper into me. “You know me. I do nothing halfway.”

I feel Siobhan at our back, which is a small relief because I was going to have to track her down after dealing with Nox. This way, I can deal with them both at the same time. I push the cabin door open. “It seems like we’re in a constant state of patching each other up and we haven’t had a true battle yet.”

“It feels like a battle,” Nox murmurs.

“I still can’t believe they were willing to sacrifice the entire city. I know it’s not as large as Mairi on Second Sister, but that’s still tens of thousands of people. They don’t have magically reinforced buildings; acid would eat through the roofs in short order and harm or kill the people inside.”

“Yes.” Nox slumps against the doorframe. “She has to have Council approval.”

Siobhan’s eyes go wide. “Surely not. The Council might favor Lyari in all ways, but this is too far, even for them.”

“I wish that were the case.” Nox pinches the bridge of their nose. “No matter how powerful Morrigan and her crew are, they wouldn’t have dared try something like this in full view of half the nobles summering in Mairi if she thought it would blow back on her.”

Obviously the Council is aware that something is amiss. They were the moment the Crimson Hag took me. Shame weighs down my shoulders. “I’m sorry. If I hadn’t fought with Siobhan. If I hadn’t tried to save that woman…”

“It would have happened anyway.” Siobhan tugs at her wet hair. “It was only a matter of time before the Council and the C?n Annwn became aware of the rebellion.”

“Yes, but…” My throat feels so tight. I was so fucking foolish . I don’t know how else to describe it. “When I told you we needed to take the rebellion into the light, I didn’t think the Council would be so comfortable with sacrificing civilians.”

Nox smiles, the expression more cutting than warm. “It’s a rebellion, Bastian. One that has operated under their nose for years. There are no civilians—at least not in their eyes. No one is safe until they’re satisfied that they’ve put us down.”

It’s so grossly unfair and ugly…which is how the C?n Annwn operates. Despair threatens, and I only hold it off with sheer determination. “Well, at least your crew hasn’t abandoned us.”

“No, my crew hasn’t abandoned us. But maybe they should have.” Nox pushes forward, wearing every single one of their years. “I can’t stand the thought of them dying. Better they sail off to safety.”

“Nox,” I say quietly. “There is nowhere safe. Not if we don’t stop them. You just said as much, and you’re right. It’s sheer luck that the C?n Annwn have restrained themselves to Threshold for this long, but that won’t be true in a generation or two. The nobles are too greedy, the Council too willing to expand at the expense of everything they’re supposed to protect. Now that they’ve secured their base here, it’s only a matter of time before they turn gluttonous eyes elsewhere.”

Siobhan sighs. “We don’t know that.” It’s part of what we’ve fought about so fiercely in recent months. I can see the path forward, and Siobhan refuses to. “It would be a huge risk to expand their power to other realms.”

“Not if they start with ones where magic is less common. The people there will have no way to defend themselves.”

“Damn it.” Nox curses. “I hate that it doesn’t sound far outside the realm of possibility.”

“Because it’s not.” I hold their gaze. “We’ve been saving people from the beginning, but now it’s time to save, well, everything.”

Nox’s smile loses some of its edge, becoming almost fond. “You’re making me feel all heroic.”

“You are heroic.” Siobhan’s gaze flicks to me. “You both are the most heroic people I know. It makes me ashamed that I’ve hidden in the shadows for so long.”

Nox tilts their head back and stares at the ceiling. “When you say things like that, it’s hard to fight against the pull of you—of both of you.”

“Then don’t fight it.” I don’t mean to say it. I’m trying to respect the distance Nox has put between us, respect the fact that they continue to evade any entanglement despite the unresolved feelings both Siobhan and I obviously hold. I’ve already caused them more than enough harm because of our past, and I won’t let my selfishness add to that.

“As if it’s that easy.” Nox inhales sharply. “I’m not proud of the fact that you broke my heart and it still hurts fourteen years later.”

“I’m sorry.” I’ve said it before, but I’ll say it again and again, backing it up with actions. “I should have listened to you. You were right.”

They smile a little. “That’s the thing. I can’t hate you anymore, Bastian. Not when it’s clear that you have changed.” They transfer their attention to Siobhan. “As for you, I…I’m afraid. You’re the leader of the fucking rebellion, Siobhan. You’re in danger more than anyone else I know, and the thought of giving my heart to you, only to lose you, scares the shit out of me.”

“I understand, but we all very well may die.”

I can’t stop the laugh that bursts from me. “Very rousing, Siobhan.”

Nox inhales slowly and exhales just as slowly. “No, she’s right. We’re sailing toward nearly certain death. What’s the point in fearing a broken heart when we might not survive to experience it?”

The energy in the room shifts, somehow both losing and gaining teeth at the same time. Nox tilts their head down and takes in Siobhan where she holds perfectly still in the center of the room, the cloak still clutched to her chest and concealing very little of her strong body. The long lines of her legs are bare, and Nox takes their time dragging their gaze north to Siobhan’s eyes. “Drop the cloak,” they finally say. The three words have none of their normal playful tone.

It’s a command, plain and simple.

Siobhan doesn’t hesitate. She unclenches her fist and the fabric falls to the floor, leaving her gloriously naked. No matter how many times I’ve seen her this way before, the sight still steals my breath. She wears cloaks so often, slouching carefully to never reveal the breadth of her shoulders, the true stretch of her height. There’s none of that facade now. Just Siobhan, body carved with muscle, small breasts peaked with dark berry nipples, golden skin still faintly damp from her swim.

I’ve wanted Siobhan from the moment I met her. She exhibits a magnetic draw that I never tried to resist. That draw isn’t directed at me right now, though. It’s all for Nox.

I’m…not invited.

Sorrow hits me in a wave that I swallow down in large gulps. I’m not entitled to the intimacy, for all that I love her and she loves me, for all that I never really stopped loving Nox. The act of loving is meant to be selfless, independent of circumstance. To do anything else, to demand something in return, is to poison the very emotion.

I take a staggering step back, and then another. Neither Nox nor Siobhan looks at me, their eyes only for each other. Even as it feels like my heart is being carved out with a rusted knife, there’s a part of me that’s glad they found each other properly. Nox deserves to be loved with all the ferocity Siobhan is capable of.

My hand closes around the doorknob. One more step and I’ll be gone from this place. I don’t know what I’ll do. They don’t need me. My glamour is useful, but Threshold has operated under the assumption that glamour has been extinct for generations. Me being here doesn’t change that. Not really. Maybe the Audacity can drop me somewhere and I’ll head in the opposite direction, determined to lead Morrigan away from their path. It will mean my death—I can’t be taken alive again—but one life is a small price to pay if it means Threshold is finally free of the iron boot on our necks.

“Bastian.” Nox says my name on a sigh. “If you don’t want this, you’re free to go, but…” They hold out a hand without looking at me. “I’d like you to stay.”

“ We’d like you to stay,” Siobhan says.

I don’t know if it’s possible to get whiplash from swinging from heartbreak to overwhelming joy in a single instant. I don’t care. I release the doorknob and start for them.