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Rowan felt better after a few days of intense therapy and meditation. Her mind was clear, and her thoughts more aligned with what she wanted out of life. She couldn’t wait to get back home and spend time with Shine. She needed more time to get everything right, but she felt hopeful.

Moving in with him hadn’t been a mistake. How could she approach the subject with him? She didn’t want to be too clingy. Maybe he didn’t really want her living with him, but that was probably her overactive sense of failure operating and not the truth. He hadn’t given her any reason to doubt his desire.

After her morning session with the therapist, she decided to head out for a walk. The fenced-in area was starting to feel a little cramped, and she wanted to walk a longer distance, but that meant going out into the open. She was safe. Charles wasn't close by, and she could walk in the fields. The men who worked the farm knew not to approach the women. This working winery was much safer than the world at large, but still, the fear of what happened weighed heavily on her mind.

The first time out, Rowan didn't stray too far from the gate. She was safe, and she was learning self-defense techniques. It wasn't just therapy that happened here. They had a class in self-defense that taught them how to get away from an attacker.

She was proud of her progress. There was no way she could fight off a man who was physically bigger than her, but she could run. Getting out of situations was half the fight. If she could escape, then getting away was an option.

Blaming herself wouldn’t do any good, but she recognized she hadn’t done enough to escape from Charles. She’d thought she could rationalize with him, but a person in his frame of mind wasn’t rational. She knew that now and could better defend herself.

As a psychologist, she tried hard to maintain a certain decorum, but once someone like Charles decided to attack, she had to respond in kind. It did her no good trying to remain calm when the person attacking wouldn’t stop when she raised an objection.

Coming to this retreat had been an excellent decision. Now she had to take what she learned here out to her real life. It wouldn’t be perfect, but she could do it.