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Rowan couldn't believe she'd actually found Dwight Boon. Eight billion people on the planet, and she'd found the one guy who had been in her life when tragedy hit. The odds of finding him were crazy, and yet she had his number.

After work, she headed home, stopping to pick up food at the store on the way. About midway through the shopping excursion, she had a weird feeling. Something like tingles on the back of her neck. She turned, trying to see if someone was watching her.

There were people in the store, but no one looking her way. It had to be her overactive imagination. No one was paying any attention to her.

After brushing off the weirdness, she checked out and took her bags, going directly to her car. She hated feeling like she was being watched. She wasn’t being overly paranoid because she knew a doctor who had been murdered by a disgruntled client. The man she’d pissed off was probably over it. Maybe. But she would talk to a private investigator and see if they could catch the guy watching her. It would be worth it for peace of mind to find out if someone was watching her or if she had imagined it. With that settled in her mind, she drove home feeling lighter.

After eating, she stared at her phone, wondering if it was too early to text Shine. It would take a bit of time to get used to thinking of him as Shine. It wasn't a bad nickname. Over the years, she'd heard a few names that were concerning. She didn't judge. She just wondered how it made the service member feel to have a nickname with negative connotations.

A little before bedtime, she decided to send a note telling Shine she’d enjoyed seeing him. She wasn’t expecting a reply back, but her phone buzzed seconds later.

Her smile grew wider as she read his note. He was happy to see her, too. That made her day. She texted back, saying that she was looking forward to talking more.

When her phone rang, she jumped and then laughed. She answered, glad he wanted to speak to her.

“Hey, how are you doing?” Rowan asked.

“I really appreciate you texting. I was worried that you’d be freaked out if I texted.”

Rowan couldn’t believe he’d wanted to text. She wasn’t anything special and had been married and divorced. Some guys wouldn’t even date her because they considered her used. “I’ve thought about you often over the years.”

"Same." It sounded like Shine had settled on his couch because of the leather-sounding squeak. She moved to her den and took a seat. She guessed they were talking.

“I’m not glad you needed help, but I’m glad fate pushed us together again.”

"Same. I don't want you to have the impression that I'm some great guy. I've had issues, and I know there is probably a long list of women who would tell you I'm shit because I've never wanted a relationship before."

His words gave her pause. Was he warning her off? “Do you want one now?”

“No, but I want you.”

She gasped. “Oh.”

"I know it's premature, and I shouldn't have said that. If I date you, I know whatever we have isn’t temporary. This won’t be a one-night thing or a week, or even just a month-long fling. If we go into this, it's a relationship from the second we start doing more than just being friends or acquaintances."

Heat rose from her chest to her face. She hadn't expected him to be so direct. "Wow. I wasn't expecting…I know we don't really know each other. That was over a decade ago. We're different people. But I agree. If we go out and it leads to us being more than friends, it's not something I can walk away from."

“This is personal, and you don’t have to answer, but have you ever had any one-night stands?”

Heat rushed up Rowan’s face. He couldn’t see her, but she wasn’t used to talking about her sex life so openly. “Um?—”

“You don’t have to answer. It’s just that it’s all I did. And I don’t want?—”

“I don’t judge you for doing that. Relationships are difficult.”

He blew out a quick breath. “I want to get to know you. The last time I saw you, you were seventeen.”

"I was married for a while, and I've been through a lot. Are you sure you're okay with that?"

“Babe, we’ve both been through stuff. And you being married isn’t a big deal for me. I mean, I know it probably hurt to end it for you, but it doesn’t make a difference in how I feel about you.”

“Thank you.”

It sounded like he settled in more. “What is one thing you’ve been through that would surprise me?”

Rowan blew out a breath, her stomach churning. “Wow. That’s a question.”

"You don't have to answer. I'll tell you mine. I was on leave and walking through the streets of Napoli in Italy. I heard a woman scream and went to investigate. Her baby was coming early. I helped to deliver the baby, and we kept it alive after I got the umbilical cord off the baby's neck. The ambulance got there ten minutes later. She still sends me photos, and I send the kid birthday presents."

Tears formed in her eyes. She hated seeing kids in danger, and his story and the fact that he stayed in contact with the family got to her. "Oh, wow. That's amazing."

“Yeah. The girl is almost six now.”

She wiped away the few tears gathered in the corner of her eyes, glad he couldn’t see her right then. “I’m not totally surprised.”

“Why?”

“Because you’re a good person.” He scoffed, but she continued. “You might have done some things with your job that make you think you aren’t, and you admitted that you do one-night stands in a way that makes me think you’re a little ashamed of them. But deep down, you’re a good person who would do good things.”

He cleared his throat. “I try. But sometimes I wonder if I’m going to end up being punished for some of the things I’ve done.”

She squeezed her eyes closed, and her mouth grew dry as she thought about the shocking thing she'd done. "I wonder that, too. "

Silence hung between them. “What could you have done that would be that bad?”

She cleared her throat, trying to buy some time. “I, um, I did something awful. I hope it doesn’t make you think less of me.”

“I’ve killed people. Even though it was in the line of duty, it still takes a toll. I’m sure you’ve never done anything that bad.”

Heat washed over her as more tears gathered in her eyes. No matter how many years had passed, how many times she’d talked it through in therapy, it still bugged her. “Actually, I have I done that.”

Her ears buzzed, and she had to breathe deeply so she wouldn't pass out. It had been a long time since she'd told anyone other than her own therapist. It was hard to digest and hard to think about. That time in her life had been filled with confusion and pain. If it had been an accident, she might have felt different about killing him, but she'd meant to end his life, and that one action still followed her.