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Rowan woke up feeling like she needed something but wasn't sure what. Most of the day, she felt odd, like she was lost. She connected with her therapist again and felt a little better, but still, something felt totally out of place.

When Shine made it home, she felt better. Having him around settled her mind. The worry she carried around all day seemed to disappear.

She was getting ready for bed and about to step into the shower when Shine opened the door. She could see the lust flash in his eyes, but he turned away from her.

Was she denying him? Maybe. She had felt itchy all day. Maybe sex would help. She followed him into the den as she pulled on a shirt.

“Everything okay?”

He turned, his gaze blanking. “Yes. I was just, um… I came back in here for water.”

“You know, you can still want me.”

He blew out a breath. “I do want you. I don’t want to hurt you.”

“How would you hurt me? ”

"You were held captive. I can't—you went through hell. I can keep my hands off you until you recover."

“What if I say I’m recovered?”

His eyes narrowed. “Are you?”

Maybe it was the way he was looking at her, or maybe her own words, that made her pause. She wasn't better. She needed more time, but she knew a man like Shine wouldn't wait forever for her to get over the trauma.

“I’m okay.”

His eyes narrowed. “That was a lie.”

“It was not.”

“You looked away when you said it. Hold my gaze and tell me you’re okay. That being held and violated by that jerk didn’t negatively affect you.”

She pressed her lips together and stared at him, wondering why he was being so mean. But he wasn't being mean. He was just trying to look out for her.

It made her angry that she needed help. She prided herself in being able to handle things, and here she was, falling apart because she'd been hurt like millions of other women. She didn't like the idea of having to adjust her life just because some idiot had held her captive and used her.

“This isn’t fair.”

Shine stepped closer and then cupped her cheek, his thumb slowly running over her skin. "Life isn't fair. We're dealt the hands we're given, and we have to make sense of it. Sometimes, it's just random cards that can't beat anything. Other times, our cards are a royal flush. But we don't get a say in which cards we get, or if we do, it's minimal. Life isn't fair, and I'm sure you've told clients the same thing."

She huffed out a breath. “I have told clients that it isn’t fair. But I hate being on the receiving end. I don’t want this. All the guilt, the fear, the pain. ”

He kissed her forehead. “I know. And you don’t deserve it, either. I’m not going anywhere. It will take time, and I’m here for it.”

“So you’re okay with me living here and us not having sex?”

He pushed her to arm's length. "Rowan, we can get to a place where we trust each other to share our bodies and be intimate with each other. It doesn't have to be now. So yes, I can live with you being here and in my bed without us getting busy. I may need to jack off in the shower, but I respect you and your process."

She bit her lower lip, unsure how long it would take before she felt comfortable with sex. She wanted Shine, but she couldn’t get past some of the things in her mind.

“I do want you. I just…”

He pulled her close, wrapping his arms around her. She felt protected in his embrace. “I understand. We will take things slow. We have time.”

“I don’t like slow.”

“I know. But your life was disrupted. Now it’s time to heal.”

She closed her eyes. “Maybe you should be the therapist.”

His chuckle rumbled through her. “Naw, you’re the one who helps people that way. I just bust in and save people.”

A shudder ripped through her. “Thank you for finding me. I know I would be lost still if you and your friends hadn’t made it a priority to find me.”

Shine didn’t want to think about how she would have still been out there with Charles if he and his team hadn’t found the jerk’s ex and talked her into getting her parents to check on the cabin. The police hadn’t even wanted to look for her. He got that they were busy, but Rowan had been in trouble.

“I was so worried.”

She nodded. “I was plenty worried myself.”

In his years with the Navy, he'd never been held by any group. Sure, they'd done training, but he'd known it was training and didn't let it go to his head. He hadn't been confused or too stressed because he knew the exercise would end if he played it cool. Rowan hadn't known when the ordeal would end.

“I’m glad you’re safe now. But I also know it will take time for you to get back to normal or close to normal. So we’re going to take the sex thing slow.”

She huffed out a breath but didn't argue with him. He would do everything in his power to make sure she got the care she needed to recover.

Once she laid down, she fell asleep fast, and he slipped from the bedroom to do some reading. The next day, he kissed Rowan goodbye, glad to see she'd set the alarm before he'd even pulled out of the driveway.

Work kept him busy. A terrorist organization they’d been trying to squash for years had reared its ugly head again. They worked through information, weighing the data they had versus what they believed the group was planning. He didn’t want to wait to go in but understood the need for caution.

Command was constantly weighing caution with the need for action. Sometimes it was worth the wait. Other times, the SEALs’ desire to jump into action should have been listened to. But those were decisions above his pay grade. The only thing he and his fellow SEALs could do was tell command how they would execute the raid.

Close to quitting time, Sharp came over. “Hey, Danika decided to visit Rowan, so I guess we’re eating dinner with you two.”

“Oh, sure. That’s great.”

“She brought over something to heat up. So Rowan won’t need to cook.”

“That sounds great.”

“I think Jay and Nichole will be there, too.”

Relief slid through Shine. “That’s good. Rowan needs people around.”

Sharp’s lips quirked up on one side. "Yeah. Danika liked having people around. I mean, she needed time alone, too, but she enjoyed having someone to talk to. I think they are over there now."

Shine was glad to hear Rowan had someone there for her. He was worried about her. Though she’d talked to her therapist, he felt like she needed something more.

Rowan stood at the window, watching the street. Nichole and Danika were coming over, and she worried that she’d made a mistake. What if they judged her harshly? She didn’t think they would. Nichole had said she’d been held captive overseas, but that was different.

She saw the women pull up out front and her chest grew tight. Living like this, with the fear and worry filling her, sucked. She wanted her old self back but didn’t think she would ever find it.

As they approached the front door, she turned off the alarm and opened the door. The smile both women gave her made her feel better though worry still filled her belly.

“Rowan,” Danika said as she pulled her into a hug. “It’s so good to see you. ”

Nichole hugged her next and held on a little longer than Danika had. “I’m so glad you’re here.”

Tears welled up and she tried to stop them, but having the women here, hugging her like she was a sister, made her weak. Danika shut and locked the door, which made Rowan feel safer.

Danika rubbed her shoulder and squeezed before she headed into the kitchen. “I brought pie.”

“Oh, you didn’t have to.”

“I wanted to. It’s mixed berry.”

Rowan didn’t know if she’d ever had a mixed berry pie, but it sounded good. “I can get coffee going.”

Nichole laughed. “Nonsense. Sit. We’re here to take care of you.”

More tears burned her eyes. “You’re going to make me cry again.”

Danika set down the bag she’d been carrying and turned to face her. “Honey, when my ex was after me, I cried so much. I mean I had to be strong and stuff, but I also hid in my bathroom and cried like a baby while taking showers. I only survived because Sharp was there for me.”

“I feel that way with Shine.”

Nichole grabbed the coffee from the pantry. “It was the same with Jay.”

Danika pulled the pie from the bag. “Our guys hold us together. They aren’t perfect, and they can be intense, but they are good men.”

Rowan nodded, understanding what they meant. She thought she was doing a good job hiding the worry she felt about Shine not being willing to wait for her to get better, but she guessed it was obvious to both women because suddenly they were at her side.

“What’s wrong?” Danika asked.

She shook her head, unsure how to bring up the subject. The last thing she wanted was to sound whiney. “I just, I don’t feel like myself.”

“And you probably won’t for a while,” Danika said.

“Also be prepared for your basic feelings about yourself to change. It’s hard to explain to someone who has never been held captive how it changes you. I know you’re a psychologist, so academically you understand, but the way your body feels it may not be what you expected.”

Rowan shook her head. “No, it’s not. I know all the words and the reasons behind what I’m experiencing, but inside the feeling feels wrong. Does that make sense?”

Danika cut a slice of pie and put it on a plate. “Totally.”

“Having Jay made a difference for me. I hope Shine helps you like Jay helped me.”

Rowan drew in a slow breath, worry increasing. “I just don’t know if he’ll wait until I’m ready.”

Danika put down the pie knife and moved in for another hug. “He isn’t rushing you, is he?”

She shook her head. “No. I just fear that I won’t…you know.”

Nichole chuckled. “Their sex drive is high, I get why you are worried, but I’ll tell you what is bigger.”

She met Nichole’s eyes, worried about what she would say was bigger. “What?”

“Their loyalty and commitment. I can tell you without knowing Shine better, that he would rather cut off his own hand than betray you. I can see it in the way he looks at you. He is loyal to you.”

Nichole’s words sent a shiver through her. Shine did seem like the type who was loyal. But she really didn’t know when she would feel good enough to be with him.

“What if I never feel like having sex again? ”

Danika shrugged. “Do you really think that’s a possibility?”

Rowan bit her lower lip. “I don’t know.”

Danika moved back to the pie and finished cutting the slices. She brought over the plates, and they settled around the table.

Rowan wasn’t sure how much she wanted to tell these women, but she felt like neither of them would hold this against her or spread it around. “He drugged me. I don’t know what he did. I feel so…so violated.”

Danika huffed out a breath. “It sucks when they do that. My ex used to drug me and then let his friends do what they wanted.”

“Oh shit, how did you…”

Danika held her gaze. “Get over it? You don’t really ever get over it. But Sharp is trustworthy. He knows exactly what I need to feel safe enough to be intimate with him. He isn’t ever going to force me to do something I don’t want to. We have a great love life because he’s a good man.”

“I’m sorry that happened to you.”

Danika squeezed her hand. “And I’m sorry you have to deal with this. It fucking sucks. There is no workaround to that. Those weak ass men who do this shit don’t deserve to hold onto our feelings or emotions. My ex was a bastard, and I won’t allow what he did to ruin my future.”

Rowan nodded, thinking about Danika’s words. Her situation was shockingly like hers. They’d all three experienced tragedy. She hated what those bastards had done to them, but they each had a good man who was there to pick up the pieces.

“Thank you.”

Nichole blinked at her. “For what?”

“Telling me what you went through. You’re right. Those assholes who meant to hurt us don’t deserve our futures. I want a good future, not something dictated by some asshole.”

Danika lifted a fork full of pie. “To a good future.”

Rowan chuckled and lifted one to match Danika. “Yes, to the future. May it be better than the past.”

Nichole lifted her fork, flashing a huge grin. “Much much better.”

Having these women by her side would help. They were right, Shine was a good man, and he was loyal. She could count on him to stand by her. No way would he run off just because she needed time to adjust to being home.

Her heart felt lighter, and she could breathe easier. Later, she would make sure he knew she loved him. It may take time to tamp down the negative physical response to being touched, but she had faith she could get there with Shine sooner rather than later.

When he arrived home, he heard the women in the kitchen. They were laughing about something. It was good to hear her laugh. The stress and worry seemed to lessen as he set down his things. Since Rowan had come home, she’d been serious. Then again, what had happened to her had been very serious. She needed time to heal, and he understood, but he wished she was better already.

He heard Jay’s car first then Sharp’s vehicle. He let the guys in and the women came to the den to greet them. The lines around Rowan’s eyes were less, and she actually looked happy. Relief poured through him.

“Hey.” The brush of Rowan’s lips against his felt so good. “I hope you don’t mind. When Danika called, I didn’t even think of sending a text. ”

“I’m glad you have someone who is here for you.”

He could have sworn her eyes grew brighter. He didn't want her to cry, so he moved his focus to the other people in the room. Nichole and Danika seemed thrilled to see their men, and his friends were just as in love as the women. He hoped he could get there with Rowan. She had a lot going on, and being held captive could have cost her more than just her safety and peace of mind. She could have easily been killed. At least she was here, and they could work things out.

Rowan was quick to smile and laughed easily at the conversation, but he could see by seven that evening she was exhausted. He didn’t want her to be too overwhelmed and gave Sharp a look.

Sharp stood and stretched. “Hey, I think it’s time we head home so I can get my beauty sleep.”

Danika laughed and stood beside him, hugging him close. “You do need some extra beauty tonight.”

“Is that code for something?” Nichole asked as she pulled Jay up off the couch.

Danika rolled her eyes. “Of course not.”

They all laughed as they headed toward the door. Shine was happy for them, and he wanted that kind of close relationship with Rowan. They had a lot of work to do, and he was here for it. He’d never felt this way about anyone else, or maybe he’d never allowed himself to feel this way. He’d always hoped to find Rowan again, though he hadn’t gone looking for her. But one thing he knew for sure, she was worth fighting for.