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Rowan Kays narrowed her gaze, trying to figure out if the guy outside in the parking lot was going to come into the office or leave. Normally, she didn't pay attention to what went on outside her office, but life had turned tense recently. She had concerns after she failed to recommend a client could continue to be an air traffic controller.

She had no idea how he'd become a controller in the first place. His answers had given her a huge dose of concern, and she'd responded appropriately, denying him access to a job he said he desperately wanted to keep. Denying a pass was one of the hardest parts of her job but also one of the most important. She was one of the few people who were the final gateway that kept the public safe.

The man hadn’t taken her assessment of him well. He’d made threats before leaving her office, not enough to get him arrested, but enough to make her take a second look at her safety. Being threatened had happened before, but this guy seemed to be more intense than most of the people she couldn't recommend for the job .

Then there was the fact that one of her colleagues had been killed by a patient a few months ago. That had been hard to take. After his death, she’d started taking precautions more seriously.

Perhaps she needed to move office buildings. There were high rises with security watching all the time. For now, she was in this building, trying to make the situation work. Her lease was up in a few months, but she had time to think about where she wanted to be.

At least none of her patients knew where she lived. That would create a whole new can of worms that would be absolutely terrifying. She’d learned in school not to mix business with pleasure after seeing another student do just that and pay dearly for their actions.

A car pulled up, and she watched the guy step out and glance around. He scared off the other man in the parking lot, giving her some relief. The problem might come back, but for now, she felt safer.

She checked her schedule, seeing that her next patient was set to arrive. He’d been referred to her by another doctor who worked with the Navy. She loved difficult patients who offered up challenges, and a man in the military being referred to her promised a level of difficulty she enjoyed.

After grabbing a glass of water, she opened the file to the first page. The name stood out. The memory of that day, the event that pushed her to her chosen career, hit her front and center.

They'd met the last week of the two-week camp. He'd been funny, and she'd known she wasn't cute with braces and the pimple on her forehead, but for some reason, he'd not cared. But this man couldn't be the Dwight she knew. Maybe she remembered the name wrong. She swore his name was Dwight Boon, but surely there were multiple men with that name.

The likelihood of the boy she'd known back then showing up at her office was slim. Her stomach cramped as thoughts of that night hit. Because of her area of focus, aerospace psychology, there was a chance it could be him. But that had been years ago, and she'd moved from the East Coast to California, thus reducing the possibility of ever running into him again. Plus, what was the chance he'd joined the military and was in special forces? It was all highly unlikely this man was the same kid she'd known and survived that horrible crash with.

Her receptionist buzzed the intercom, telling her that the new patient was ready. She pushed away thoughts of her past before she opened the door and stepped into the lobby to greet her new patient.

The man was tall, had brown hair, and a neatly trimmed beard. His brown eyes showed intelligence, and when he smiled, she saw a flash of white teeth. She couldn't tell if this man was the boy she'd met way back when, but she couldn't totally discount it, either.

Back when they were seventeen, they both looked different. They were kids compared to now. Time had aged her up and changed her body. If she compared photos from then to now, she could see the similarities, but she looked different. It would be incredibly difficult to tell if this man was the boy she'd known back then.

“Mr. Boon, you can step in.”

“Thank you, Doctor Kays. You can call me Shine.”

She held the door for him as he stepped in, closing it behind them. His nickname didn’t surprise her. She’d worked with enough military guys to know they grew attached to the names given to them by their buddies. “Okay, Shine. You can sit where you like. ”

He paused and glanced around, taking a seat next to the window in a chair that allowed him to see the whole room and the entry door. It was a seat she usually sat in, but she understood his need to view the room and the door. It was a common trait most military guys had.

"You were referred to me by my colleague. I like to hear firsthand what is going on, so I don't form opinions or make conclusions based on what is written. Written language doesn't show feelings. So why don't you tell me what is up?"

He nodded. “Thank you. I agree that words written out don’t show feelings.” He steepled his hands and stared up at the ceiling. “Where to start?” His voice was filled with frustration.

When he lowered his gaze and met hers, she stared into his soul-filled brown eyes, triggering a flash of memory. A tall boy held out his hand, coaxing her to step onto the wing of the plane. The look in Shine’s eyes seemed too familiar. Every muscle in her body tightened as the memories rolled in. It couldn’t be him.

Her head buzzed as awareness washed over her. Could it be…there was no way this was the boy she’d known. She studied him, staring deep into his eyes. Those eyes were ones she remembered.

He paused and leaned in, his own eyes narrowing. “What?”

“Your last name, Boon, is familiar. There was someone in my past with your name. But…” She waved off the thought. “There’s no way.”

Shine stilled, and his nostrils flared. "Doctor Kays, what is your first name?"

“Rowan.”

His body swayed before he gripped the chair arms, his eyes narrowing. “You became an aerospace psychologist? ”

Laughter bubbled up. "And you make a habit of jumping out of a perfectly good aircraft."

His lips spread into a wide grin as he stood, pulling her up. His arms wrapped around her, and the hug felt amazing. He was taller than he'd been at seventeen. There were muscles now where he'd been skinny before. But this was the man who'd saved her.

He pushed her to arm’s length, his gaze studying her face. “You understand why I’m here.”

She nodded. “I shouldn’t treat you. It wouldn’t be proper.”

“But you know exactly what I went through. I don’t know why it came back now.”

Worry filled her, and she stepped back and took her seat. Shine took his seat, his gaze staying on her.

She adjusted, pushing away the feelings welling up inside. The boy she’d met and lost contact with so long ago had turned into a very good-looking man. But he wasn’t here for that. He needed help, and she could keep her feelings at bay.

“Tell me about it,” she said as she focused on his needs as a patient instead of thinking about how good it felt to be wrapped in his arms.

"I've had a couple of dreams in the last week. It's dark, and water is pouring in. I reach for you, but your hand slips through mine, and you disappear. Sometimes, I wake up, and other times, I get to the point where both of us are standing on the wing, and we have to jump into the water and swim for it. There are times when I can't reach you, and we both fall into a black abyss. The latest one we both fell in."

She wrote down a few notes about him having realistic dreams. “Have you been under more stress lately? ”

He blew out a breath and glanced around. “This session isn’t being recorded, right?”

"No, it's not. I also have some clearance because of other agencies I work with. Just don't get into specifics."

He glanced down at the floor before meeting her gaze. “We’ve had a few attacks. We were on a mission that was sabotaged recently. It’s happening more often now. I wasn’t stuck on a plane going down or anything like that, but it was intense.”

Rowan waited a moment to see if he was done speaking. When he didn’t say more, she began. “How did it make you feel?”

“Trapped. Like I would never get free. I didn’t panic, but I guess I held onto that feeling because I had the nightmare, the one with you in it.”

He met her gaze and held it. There was no way she could treat this man. The feelings she had for him surfaced. Back then, they'd only kissed one time. It had been after the plane had started having trouble and before they'd crashed.

That moment played back in her mind, every detail hitting like a brick to her chest. The look in his eyes as the plane bucked and then the air masks dropped. The confession he made that he'd never kissed a girl. How he'd held her hand after the brief kiss. The situation had been weird, but still, it had been the best kiss she'd ever had. The moments after the crash when they were achy and in shock and how he’d held onto her. He’d helped her stand and pulled her to the exit, saving her life.

There were too many emotions tied up with this man. She wouldn’t be able to keep her distance. They were bound together in a way few people were.

“You’re thinking about it now, aren’t you?” he asked.

She drew in a shaky breath. “It would be wrong of me to continue to treat you, but if you’d like to talk as friends, we can.”

He liked that idea. He wanted to see her again. “I understand. Chatting would be nice.” He glanced around, taking in the degrees on her wall. “So you took the trauma and are using it to do good? I like that.”

She shrugged, trying not to sound too proud of herself. “Usually, I do good. I don’t know, though. Sometimes people get mad.”

“Why?”

She shrugged. “I grant or deny the okay for pilots and traffic controllers to work. They lose their jobs because of me. It’s tense sometimes.”

“Oh, yeah. I hadn’t thought of that. I guess someone who is too messed up to fly wouldn’t take it well if they were told they were too messed up to fly.”

“Nope, they don’t take it well.”

He lowered his chin and shot her a look. “But you don’t cause it, you know that, right?”

She shrugged. “I guess. But I’m the one that gives the okay or denies them the opportunity to get or keep a job.”

“That’s hard.”

His lips twitched up just a little, and her heart melted. She couldn't believe she was in the same room with this man. Years ago, they both lived across the country near the East Coast and now they were here in California. She wanted to see him again. Would he want that?

"If you're not seeing me in a professional capacity, would it be wrong for me to invite you to dinner?"

His question brought warmth and made her smile. “I think if you called me after today, I would say yes.”

His lips curved up shyly as he glanced down. A memory of him doing something similar when he’d learned they’d be on the same flight home hit. They’d coordinated to sit together, and he’d given her that same shy smile as they’d taken their seats. Her heart squeezed. This man had come into her life at the perfect time. She was single and had been for a few years. She wasn’t looking for a relationship, but she wouldn’t push him away if he offered.

"I know you can’t treat me, but I'm glad I came in. I thought about canceling this appointment, but I'm happy I took the afternoon off and came over."

“Well, professionally, I think you should talk to someone about the stress. It’s not good that you’re having the nightmare this many years later.”

He nodded. “Yeah. I should see someone. Not you, though.”

She shook her head as heat rose from her chest up to her neck. What would have happened between them if the crash hadn’t happened? It was impossible to know, but they might have stayed in contact. Her phone had been destroyed in the crash, so she had no way of contacting him, and from what she remembered, his phone had been left on the plane, too.

She wanted to reach out and hug him, but she stayed in her seat. “I always wondered what happened to you. I should have tried to track you down.”

“I don’t have social media, though, and my phone is unlisted. It would have been difficult.”

She shrugged. “My last name changed.”

His face fell. “Oh.”

“We weren’t right for each other. I got my degree while I was married, so I didn’t change my name back just to avoid confusion. Honestly, we parted on good terms, and I didn’t want to have to change every document in my professional history along with the articles I’d written.”

“You’re happy now, right? ”

She didn’t need to think about it before answering. “I am happy. How about you?”

He shrugged. “I’ve been single for some time. I’m happy with that status, but…”

His words, plus the look in his eyes, made even more warmth spread through her. Maybe she was assuming too much, or maybe she was on target. "You always wondered, didn't you?"

He nodded. “I’m a different man now. It’s been twelve years.”

The kiss hadn't been much, but after, when they were huddled on the bank of the river, their bodies shaking from the massive amount of adrenaline running through their veins, he'd comforted her. She'd longed for that connection but never found it with another. "Yeah. We were so young."

He cleared his throat, sitting up taller. “So you went to college and then got an advanced degree. I’m impressed.”

She smiled and chuckled, thinking about how driven she’d been. “Because I did dual enrollment classes, I graduated high school the December after the crash, and then took extra hours at the university, graduating early. Getting my doctorate degree was quick. I had my classes done and defended my dissertation a week after I turned twenty-four.”

“Wow, I’m really impressed.”

“How about you? You’re a SEAL, right?”

He flashed a wide smile. “I am.”

“I know training to become a SEAL isn’t easy.”

He shook his head. “No, it’s not. It was intense, but I knew I could do it. The crash pushed me.”

“I am impressed.”

“And I’m impressed with you and your success.”

Laughter spilled out, and she shook her head. “I may not be a success. ”

“You have a great responsibility with your job. You are.”

Her throat tingled as butterflies filled her stomach. She was about to say something else when her timer rang. Disappointment rose. She wanted to talk longer, but she had other clients she had to prepare for. Because of her type of work, she spaced clients out so they didn’t run into each other. They had a minute or two, but not too much time.

Shine stood, his gaze staying on her. “I guess that’s my cue to leave.”

She nodded as she stood. "Yes. I have other clients I have to prepare for. Let me give you my number.”

"Here, put it into my phone, and I'll text you. That way, we both have each other's number."

She took his phone and entered her number, her hands only shaking a little with excitement. She sent a text to herself so she would have his number.

She couldn’t believe she had reconnected with this man and had a chance to explore the feelings bubbling up inside. She hoped the reality of him was as good as the idea of him that she’d built up in her mind over the last few years. The attraction flowing between them made her think whatever happened would be good.