Page 55

CHAPTER FIFTY-FIVE

At noon I leave to meet Grace for lunch. I don’t feel like going out, but I told her I’d be there. As I’m driving to the restaurant I realize that I’m actually glad I’m going to see her. We’re both experiencing loss and sadness and maybe just by being together we can make each other feel a little bit better.

We meet at the cafe in the old historic house, the one we went to when I first met her. It’s weird not having Arlin there. And really sad. Grace gives me a hug when I see her.

“I’m so sorry,” I say softly as we hug.

She rubs my back. “It’s okay, honey. I’ll see him again someday.”

When we pull away and take our seats, I see her taking deep breaths to keep her emotions in check. She looks thinner, like she hasn’t eaten since it happened.

We talk a little about the funeral, but then she quickly changes the subject to her flower garden, telling me what she’s planting next week and about the new flower seeds she ordered. She talks about it all through lunch and I just listen because I know that talking about geraniums and petunias is the only way she can get through the pain she’s feeling. We all have our own way of dealing with these things and this is hers.

When we’re done eating, she gets her purse out and I assume that means she’s getting ready to leave.

“Thank you for lunch.” I get my car keys out.

“No, honey, we’re not leaving yet. I just had to get something from my purse. Your flight leaves later tonight, right?”

“Yes. At 6.” I put my keys away.

“Then we have time.” She runs her hand up and down an envelope that’s now lying on the table.

“Did you get a letter?” I ask her.

“No. This is something for you.”

“Oh.” I look at it, confused. “Do you want me to open it?”

She shakes her head. “Not yet.”

She’s struggling and I don’t know why. I put my hand on hers. “What is it Grace? Is something wrong?”

“I just have a hard time talking about him.” I notice that her lips are quivering and her eyes are watery.

I scoot my chair closer to her. “I know. I miss him, too.”

She smiles and wipes the corners of her eyes with her napkin. “He was so happy taking you sailing. I can’t tell you how much that meant to him.” She laughs a little. “After you’d leave he’d say how quickly you learned what he taught you. He’d repeat all the questions you asked him. His whole face lit up when he talked about you. Even before I met you, he told me all about you. How you were valedictorian of your high school. How well you were doing at Moorhurst. He was so proud.”

Now she’s making me tear up. Dammit!

She takes a deep breath and smiles like she’s determined to stop crying about Arlin’s death. I know because it’s the same determination I’m trying to force upon myself with the loss of Garret.

“Jade, honey,” she continues. “You already know Arlin and I wanted to pay for your college. So this will take care of that.” She taps the envelope but still doesn’t give it to me. “But we wanted to do more for you.”

The waiter comes to refill her coffee and she waits for him to leave before continuing.

“Arlin was a very successful man and he wanted to share that success with his family. So before he passed, he put some money into a trust for you. We did it now because if we waited until both Arlin and I were gone, it would cause confusion among the rest of the family. They wouldn’t understand why we gave you this.”

She hands me the envelope. I open it and pull out a sheet of paper. There’s some legal jargon on it and a seal at the bottom. And then I see my name. And next to it is a number. A very large number with a dollar sign in front of it.

I can’t speak. I don’t even think I’m breathing. I’m too shocked. I stare at it thinking I must be reading it wrong but the number doesn’t change.

It’s 50 million dollars. Fifty. Million. Dollars.

I force myself to breathe again.

“It’s yours, Jade, to use as you see fit. Arlin and I wanted you to have whatever type of future you want. This will help you do that.”

“No. It’s way too much. I don’t need this much.”

She smiles. “It’s a lot, but it’s not too much. Remember, honey, we’re billionaires. It takes a lot of millions to make a billion.”

I guess that’s true, but still. Fifty million? I get my wallet out and give her the credit card she gave me back in March. “Then I don’t need this anymore.”

She gives it back. “Take it. Use it until you get out of school and then you can get your own. That’s the deal we have with all the grandchildren.”

“But I have—”

“Jade. Use the credit card until you graduate. Arlin was very insistent on that and so am I. You can use the money from the trust later on.”

I look at the paper again and the amount and my mind immediately thinks of Frank and Ryan. “Are there any restrictions on how I can use this? Because I was just wondering if it’s okay if I give a little to Frank. With his illness, he hasn’t been able to work, so he could really use some money. He wouldn’t waste it. I swear. He’d just use it for groceries and maybe to fix up his house. And his son really needs a new car and some help paying for med school.”

She nods. “It’s your money. You can give Frank as much as you want.”

Knowing I can help Frank makes me even more excited about the money. He could get a new house. Move to a better neighborhood. Pay off Ryan’s loans. This will change their lives.

I reach over and give her a hug. “Thank you for this. I don’t even know what to say.” I pull back and look at her. “Other than that I need you to know that I never, ever expected you and Arlin to give me money. I only wanted to get to know my grandparents.”

She pats my hand. “Yes, I know, honey.”

“So when will I see you again?”

“Whenever you want to see me. I do enjoy California.” She smiles. “In fact we have a small cottage in Santa Barbara. I plan to spend a few weeks out there this summer.”

I’d love to know what she considers to be a small cottage.

“Then I’m coming to see you. Or you can come stay with me. I have a whole condo and it’s just going to be me there.”

“Jade.” She clasps her hands around mine and waits for our eyes to meet. “This issue with Garret will get resolved. I’ll take care of it myself if I have to. If those idiot men would just let women into their little club they wouldn’t make such stupid decisions.”

Grace is usually soft spoken, but she said those words forcefully like she was both fed up and pissed off. I didn’t realize she knew about everything going on with Garret. It’s not something we talk about. Plus, Garret said the members usually don’t tell their wives what goes on within the organization.

“I’m not feeling good about it. There’s a meeting on Monday.”

“Yes. I know about the meeting. My son, William, is a member. He’ll be there.”

“Does he know what’s going to happen?”

“No. But you shouldn’t give up yet, Jade.”

“I’m not. I’m—”

“Yes. You have.” She squeezes my hand. “I could see you struggling all through lunch because you think this is over. But you’re giving up too soon. You need to have hope. Sometimes things just work out.”

I nod like I believe her even though I don’t at all.

“You should know that before Arlin passed, he fought hard to keep Garret out of this. And I don’t just mean with the negative press that was created. I mean that he let his feelings be known to every member of the organization. And that’s not something you do. It’s against the rules.”

“Then why did he do it?”

She takes a sip of her coffee. “When Royce was picked years ago, Arlin asked them to pick someone else, but he didn’t do anything else to get it stopped.”

“But Royce wanted to be president, didn’t he?”

“Yes, but it wasn’t right for him. He always had an obsessive personality. He’d set his mind on something and wouldn’t let anything or anyone stop him from getting it. The organization took advantage of that. When we learned about their plan for Royce, Arlin and I knew it would destroy him. And it did. Arlin always regretted that he didn’t do more to stop what they did to our son. I think helping Garret was his way of trying to fix the past. That and the fact that he wanted you to be happy.”

I wonder what exactly Arlin did. What if his attempts to help Garret caused him to get in trouble? What if the organization did something to Arlin? What if the heart attack wasn’t natural but was caused by something they did? Wait—what am I saying? I sound like Carson, coming up with his crazy conspiracy theories. I quickly shake them from my mind and notice Grace getting up from the table.

“You should get back to school and finish packing. I have some issues to take care of at the lawyer’s office and then I’m heading home to work in my garden.”

We walk out together to the parking lot.

“You should try gardening, Jade. It’s very relaxing. Whenever I’m feeling stressed I find that I have to do something physical like take a walk or work in the garden.”

“Me, too. Except I go running.”

“Running’s hard on the knees.” She winks. “Try gardening.”

I smile. “Okay. I’ll see you later.”

“No goodbye?”

“I don’t like goodbyes.”

“Then I’ll see you later, Jade.”

We have one last hug before leaving.

* * *

Back at Moorhurst it’s total chaos as people pack up cars and moving trucks with all their stuff. I get out of my car, still trying to comprehend the fact that I am now a millionaire. A multimillionaire.

I’m not ready to go back to my room, so I sit on a bench under a big maple tree. Everywhere I look I see things that remind me of Garret. There are so many memories here. This is where we met, where we became best friends, and where we fell in love.

I get up and walk to the edge of campus over to the trail that leads into the woods. A few people are running on it today and I wait for them to pass me. Then I sneak down and go deep into the woods to the tent so I can see it one last time.

But it’s gone. Everything’s gone. Like it was never there.

I collapse down on my knees and the tears start pouring again. I know I said I wouldn’t cry, but I can’t stop myself. I feel like I’ve lost everything. And I’m afraid that soon I’ll turn back into the old Jade who didn’t trust people and didn’t believe in happy endings. Good things never last, Jade. That’s what my mom used to say and I used to believe her. But now I’ve changed and I don’t want to go back to the person I used to be, but part of me thinks that I will.

My phone rings and I see that it’s Frank calling. I sit up and take a deep breath before answering. “Hi, Frank.”

“Hey, I just wanted to wish you a safe trip.” He sounds really happy. “Ryan and I will both be at the airport tonight to pick you up. We can’t wait to see you.”

“Yeah. It’ll be good to be home.” I do my best to match his happy tone but it doesn’t come out that way.

“Are you okay, Jade?”

“I’m fine. Just tired.”

“Well, we’ll let you sleep in tomorrow. See you soon.”

When he hangs up I check the phone for any messages. There’s one from Harper. She’s driving to California with Sean. They left yesterday and her message says they’re somewhere in Pennsylvania.

The alarm on my phone beeps reminding me I need to head to the airport soon. I make my way up the hill and back to my dorm room. The suitcase Garret bought me last year is packed and ready to go, sitting next to the door. I packed all my other stuff in the car. My room is as empty as when I arrived here last fall.

I sit on the bare mattress on my bed and look around. It doesn’t seem like that long ago that I walked in this room for the first time, feeling really sick because I was scared to death to be so far away from home. And then I met Garret on that very first night. I couldn’t take my eyes off him. He was the hottest guy I’d ever seen. And he was nice to me from the second we met. I pretended to be annoyed with him, but deep down I liked him right away. I liked talking to him and hanging out with him. I liked that he kept forcing me to do things with him. He made me feel welcome, and after just one day with him I forgot all about missing home. And even after I told him we couldn’t date, he stuck around. He was my friend from my first day here and ended up being the best friend I’ll ever have.

Garret’s at his house now, so I go up to his floor. Guys fill the hallway, carrying boxes and furniture. Music is blaring and guys are yelling stuff to each other. I squeeze past some guys carrying a couch and make my way down to Garret’s room. The door is open and the room is completely empty, just like mine. I go inside and shut the door. It still smells like him and I feel the tears forming again and realize that coming up here probably wasn’t the best idea. But I had to see this room one last time. This is where Garret first said that he loved me. And where I first said it to him. It’s where he hugged me, again and again, until I finally learned how to do it right. It’s where he talked to me and listened to me and helped me get the voices out of my head.

There are so many memories between these four walls. And on this campus. In this town. But it’s time to let them go.

It’s not at all what I want. I don’t want to forget. I want to remember everything. Everything Garret and I shared since the moment we met last September. All the movie nights in his room. All the trips to Al’s Pancake House. Racing each other on the track and in the pool. Every hug. Every kiss. All of it. But I can’t. I have to find a way to shove those memories in the back of my mind where they’ll never be found. And then force myself to never go looking for them. It’s the only way I’ll ever move on without him.

My phone dings reminding me it’s time to leave. I go back downstairs and wheel my suitcase into the hall, then look at my empty room once more before shutting the door for good.

When I go outside, a taxi is there waiting to take me to the airport. The driver takes my suitcase and puts it in the trunk.

As the taxi drives away, I say goodbye to Moorhurst. Not ‘see you later,’ but goodbye. Because I know for sure that I’ll never come back here again.