Page 17

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

Wednesday at physics class, Carson comes and sits down right next to me. I arrived early and Carson and I are the only two people there.

Thanks to Garret I now see Carson as less of a friend and more like a guy trying to sleep with me, which I still don’t think is a fair assessment.

“Hi, again.” Carson shows off his dimple as he reaches into his brown leather messenger bag. “You like chocolate?”

“Who doesn’t?”

He pulls out a handful of candy bars and sets them on my desk.

“My mom sent me a care package. She sent way too much, so I thought I’d share with my lab partner.”

Is giving out chocolate a sign he’s trying to sleep with me? I’m sure Garret would say it is, but I think Carson’s just being nice.

He digs in his bag again and drops more chocolate bars on my desk.

“Thanks, but you don’t have to give me so much.”

“I’m trying to make friends and food usually helps with that.”

See? The poor guy is just trying to be my friend. And here I am taking his chocolate knowing we’ll be nothing more than lab partners. That’s just mean.

“Did you meet anyone at dinner last night?” I ask him as I stuff the candy in the front pouch of my backpack.

“I sat with some guys on my floor, but they didn’t say much. Then they left and some girls came over and we talked for a few minutes.”

“You should go to one of the parties this weekend. You’ll meet a ton of people.”

“Maybe we could go together.”

That definitely sounded more date-like and less friend-like. Unless the “we” included Garret.

“I don’t do the party thing. I don’t drink.”

“Really? I mean, I think it’s good. I’m just saying that it’s probably hard to be in college and not drink. Does your boyfriend drink?”

At least Carson remembered I had a boyfriend. I was starting to think he forget all about him.

“Garret used to drink, but he cut way back when we started dating. He hardly drinks at all anymore.”

“Then what do you guys do on weekends when everyone’s partying?”

“Go out to dinner. See a movie. Hang out in his room.”

“And he’s okay with that?”

I find the question somewhat rude but answer him anyway. “If he wasn’t we probably wouldn’t be dating.”

“Hmm. Okay.” He sits back.

“What? Are you trying to tell me something, Carson?”

“It’s just that I was talking about you two last night to those girls I met and they said Garret was kind of a legend around here as far as his performance at parties. So I was surprised when you said he didn’t go to them anymore.”

“When Garret used to drink, he got a little out of control. At least that’s what I heard. But that was back in high school. He’s not like that anymore.”

“Isn’t he on some reality show with a girl who goes to school here?”

“No, the producers are just trying to get ratings and they’re using this fake story about Garret to hook viewers. It’s completely unethical. I don’t even know how they get away with it.”

“How long have you two dated?”

“A few months. We were friends first. I met him the first day I got here, and after that we just started hanging out.” I glance back at the door, wondering why our classmates aren’t showing up. “So do you have a girlfriend back home?”

“I did, but she broke up with me right before I came out here. She wouldn’t do the long distance thing.”

“Do you two still talk?”

“She called me last week just to see how school was going, but other than that we haven’t talked.” He takes his phone out and swipes the screen. “This is her.”

He shows me her photo. She’s gorgeous. Like model gorgeous with bright blue eyes and long blond hair.

“She’s pretty. She looks older than you.”

“She is. She’s graduating from college this May and starts law school in the fall.”

“You like older women, huh?” I kid.

“I like mature women,” he clarifies. “Not necessarily older.”

The way he’s looking at me, it almost seems like he’s indicating that I’m mature and am therefore someone he might date. But I’m sure he’s not doing that at all. It’s just my skewed view of him thanks to Garret. Seeing the hot blond on his phone, I am most definitely not Carson’s type.

He puts his phone back in his pocket. “Did you look at the syllabus for chem lab? Because I was thinking we should get together this weekend and divide up the assignments.”

“We can just do that after class. It shouldn’t take long.”

He nods and his smile disappears. “Yeah, okay.”

“Is something wrong?” I ask him.

“I was hoping we could be friends, not just lab partners. Grab a coffee sometime. Maybe go for a run. You’re the only person who’s been friendly to me since I got here. But I get the feeling you’re not interested.”

Damn. I feel really bad for this guy, but I can’t mess things up with Garret over it.

“I’d like us to be friends, but it doesn’t seem right for you and me to hang out when I have a boyfriend. I should be spending my free time with him, not some other guy.”

“He doesn’t let you have friends? That’s kind of possessive, isn’t it?”

“Female friends are fine, but male friends are a different story.”

“I’m not trying to date you, Jade. I just want to be friends.”

“You’ll make other friends. It just takes time. Hey, I know who you should meet. This guy, Decker. He’s really nice. He’s one of Garret’s friends. He’ll be at the parties this weekend. Just look for a short guy with light brown hair and black-rimmed glasses. Sometimes he wears a bow tie.”

“Would you and Garret mind going with me to one of these parties and introducing me to some people?”

“We could probably do that. Let me ask Garret and I’ll let you know tomorrow.”

“You really have to ask him? You can’t just make a decision?”

His question really pisses me off, but I let it slide. “Garret might have plans for us. We haven’t talked about the weekend yet.”

“So he can make plans without telling you, but you can’t do the same?”

Okay, that’s just plain rude. He knows nothing about Garret or me and yet he’s making all these assumptions about our relationship. I glance at the door. “Where is everyone? Class should be starting now.”

“We’re not having class. Didn’t you see the sign? It’s cancelled. The profs sick.”

I turn to see a piece of paper taped to the glass on the door. I saw it when I walked in, but didn’t bother reading it.

“If you knew class was cancelled, why did you come in here?’

“To say hello and share my chocolate. You want any more?”

“No, thanks. I have plenty.” I shove my book in my backpack and get up to put my coat on.

“Since we don’t have class, do you want to show me around town? I haven’t even been off campus yet.”

“I don’t have a car.” I start walking out. “I’ll see you later.”

Carson catches up to me. “I have a car. We can take mine.”

Okay, maybe Carson is trying to date me, given his repeated insistence that we spend time together.

“That’s probably not a good idea,” I say as we leave the building.

“Why? Because your boyfriend would get mad?”

“It’s just not a good idea. Besides, this is a really small town. It’s easy to find your way around.”

He walks with me across the open quad toward the dorms. He’s quiet now and I’m sure he’s thinking Garret is a controlling jerk. But if it were the other way around, I wouldn’t want Garret showing some girl around town.

“Jade.”

I turn back and see Garret walking up to me, with Carson standing right beside me. Great.

“Why aren’t you in class?” Garret asks me.

“The professor was sick so it’s cancelled.”

“Hey, Garret,” Carson says. “Good to see you again.”

“Yeah.” Garret nods at him, then focuses back on me. “Are you two headed somewhere?”

Before I can answer, Carson does. “Jade’s going to show me around town.”

Garret looks at me, waiting for me to deny it, but I’m too stunned to say anything. I can’t believe Carson just lied like that!

“Then I guess I’ll see you later.” Garret takes off across the quad.

“Garret, wait.” I race after him. “He’s kidding. I’m not showing him around town. I don’t even have a car.”

“We’re taking my Jeep.” Carson is next to me again. This guy is really pissing me off. “You want to come with us, Garret?”

“Nope. I’m busy.” Garret stares straight ahead, walking so fast it’s practically a run.

When we get to the dorms, I follow Garret to ours while Carson goes to the building next to us.

“We’ll just do the tour another time,” Carson calls out to me. “See you guys later.”

I follow Garret up to his room and try to explain. “I swear I was not going anywhere with him. The guy is crazy. He made all of that up. I told him I couldn’t show him around.”

Garret sets his backpack down. “Couldn’t or wouldn’t?”

“What’s the difference?”

“Couldn’t implies you won’t go with him because I won’t let you. Wouldn’t implies it’s your choice. That you didn’t want to go with him.”

“I didn’t want to go with him, so stop making this into something it’s not. I had a talk with him and told him how my free time should be spent with you, not some other guy.”

“And what did he say?”

“He thinks you’re being a possessive boyfriend. And he said that he’s not trying to date me. He just wants to be friends.”

“I really don’t like that guy.” Garret strips his jeans and t-shirt off and starts sifting through his drawers.

“He’s not that bad. I think he’s just lonely. His girlfriend dumped him. He’s at a new school. He’s really far from home.” I go over and stand behind Garret while he tries to find whatever he’s looking for in his dresser. “I was thinking we could introduce him to some people. That way he’d make new friends and leave me alone.”

“What are you suggesting?” He turns back, wearing only his tight, black boxer briefs. He’s so damn hot. Broad shoulders. Strong arms. Ripped muscles running the length of his v-shaped torso. How could he even think I’d be interested in someone else?

I rub my hands along his abs. I can’t help it. They’re begging to be touched. “I was thinking we could go to a party on Friday night. Introduce him to some people, like Decker, and some of the other guys you know.”

Garret takes my hands off his abs and holds them in front of him. “You hate parties.”

“I was thinking about that and I think we should go to a few this semester. I mean, it’s part of the whole college experience, right? And you like parties. You used to go to them all the time. It’s not fair you don’t go anymore because of me.”

“I don’t need to go. I’ve been to plenty of parties in my life. They’re pretty much all the same. It gets boring after a while. Plus, you hate being around all that alcohol.”

“I’m better with it now that I know what really happened to my mom. I’m not saying I’ll drink, but I’m not afraid to have it around me, especially if you’re with me.”

He lets go of my hands and sighs. “So you’re making us go to a party because of Carson. A guy who’s trying to date you. A guy I can’t stand.”

“You don’t even know him. And it’s just one party. We’ll introduce him to people and then we’ll leave.” Garret looks so freaking good I just have to touch him again. I wrap my arms around him and kiss his bare chest. He smells good, too. “Plus once Carson sees us together and realizes how in love we are, he won’t even consider trying to date me.”

“Yeah, right.”

“So will you go?” I look up at him and smile.

“You seem to really want to do this, so yes, I’ll go.”

“Do you know where the parties are this weekend?”

“Decker’s been texting me asking me to go to the one on Beech Street. I’ll text him back and tell him we’re going. But that guy, Carson, is driving himself. We’re not taking him.”

“That’s fine. I’ll tell him. Thanks for doing this.” I reach up and kiss him. “By the way, why are you undressed?”

“I’m going to the gym to work out. I was trying to change clothes, but someone’s making it very difficult.” He kisses me. “It’s like that someone doesn’t want me to get dressed.”

“I think you’re right.” I tug his boxers down. “I have to get ready for my next class, so can we do this in 10 minutes?”

“Ten minutes, huh? That’s not much time.”

“Then I guess I’ll see you later.” I turn and start to walk off.

He grabs my wrist, laughing. “Get back here. Ten minutes is more than enough time.”

* * *

The next few days go by with far less Carson drama. When I see him at class I consider confronting him over that stunt he pulled with Garret but decide to let it go. He’s been walking around campus with some blond girl, so maybe he’s found someone to date.

Friday night, Garret and I go to the party on Beech Street. We get there around 9 and the house is already packed with people. It’s an old house with cracked plaster walls and scratched-up wood floors and it smells like a mix of beer, sweat, and cologne.

As we walk through the living room, drunk people keep bumping into me and a guy almost spills his drink on my shirt. Now I remember why I don’t go to parties.

“You okay?” Garret says in my ear as the music blares around us. “Because if you’re not, we’ll leave right now.”

“I’m okay,” I tell him, taking his hand.

“Kensington!” A guy from Garret’s floor comes stumbling up to us holding a plastic cup filled with beer. I think his name is Dean. I see him in the hall when I’m going to Garret’s room. He always wears a polo shirt with the collar up and khaki pants instead of jeans. He’s got the whole preppy look going.

“Hey, Dawson,” Garret says.

So I guess his name is Dawson, but he looks more like a Dean.

“It’s about time you showed up at one of these things,” Dawson says.

“What are you talking about? I went to parties all last semester. Almost every Friday night. You saw me there. We talked. Played pool.”

Dawson thinks for a moment. “Oh, yeah. Whatever. You never stayed very long. And I don’t think you drank either. Shit, I don’t even know why you went.”

I know why. Because that asshole, Blake, blackmailed Garret into going, threatening to tell Mr. Kensington about Garret and me if Garret didn’t party with him. I’m glad that’s over. Blake’s long gone and Garret’s dad has finally accepted us dating.

Dawson notices our empty hands. “You guys need a drink. There’s a keg over there in the corner.” He turns to me. “They’ve got some fruity punch for the ladies. But just a warning. That shit’s strong. A girl your size will feel it after one drink.” He takes a big gulp of his beer. “That’s the point, right? Get you girls drunk as fast as possible. Makes it easier on us guys.” He takes another gulp of his beer.

Garret puts his arm around my shoulder and leads me away. “You sure you want to stay here?”

I scan the room. “There’s Carson. Let’s go over and talk to him.”

Carson’s wearing jeans and a black polo shirt that accentuates his huge shoulders and muscular arms. He’s built like a football player. I bet he played in high school.

“Hi, Carson. Did you just get here?” I keep hold of Garret’s hand and scoot closer to him.

“I got here a few minutes ago.” He looks around. “This place is packed. Are these things always this crowded?”

“Yeah, usually. There isn’t much else to do in this town.”

I nudge Garret to join the conversation.

“So you ready to meet some people?” Garret gets right down to business. He has no interest in making small talk with Carson.

“Sure. Can I grab a drink first? You guys want anything?”

“No, we’re good,” I say.

Carson goes over to the keg.

Garret leans down. “The guy drinks, Jade, and you want to be friends with him? When we met, you refused to speak to me after I had a couple sips of beer.”

“I’m trying to loosen up a little. If you want a beer, go ahead and have one.”

He waits, anticipating the “but” which he knows is coming.

“I won’t kiss you with beer breath, but you can still have one.”

“I’d rather have the kiss.” He says it next to my ear, his lips brushing my skin while his hand rests on my lower back. He’s barely touching me and it still makes me want to take him into one of the bedrooms so we can be alone. Even after all these months, he still affects me this way. It’s crazy.

“Okay, I’m ready.” Carson’s back with a plastic cup filled to the top with light-colored beer. The smell is so disgusting. I back away but the stench of it still lingers in the air.

My alcoholic mother didn’t drink beer that much. She usually stuck to hard liquor. But when we were really low on money, she had to settle for cheap beer. She’d buy that before she’d buy food. To this day, when I smell beer, it brings back memories of being hungry. School lunch would be my only meal of the day and those meals weren’t very filling.

I’d never tell Garret that story. If I did, he’d never drink beer again and I don’t want him to do that for me. I know he likes it and he should be able to have one now and then. Plus I hate it when he feels sorry for me.

Garret leads Carson over to a group of guys from his floor, including Dawson, who comes over and hangs his arm off Garret’s shoulder. He’s even drunker than when we saw him a few minutes ago.

“Kensington!” Dawson likes yelling Garret’s last name. He does it when I see him at the dorms, too.

“Finally decide to come out of your room, Kensington?” Some guy I only know as Shafer yells it from a few feet over. I think Shafer is his last name, but I’ve never heard him called anything else.

Garret ignores him. “I wanted you guys to meet Carson. He just started at Moorhurst.”

Shafer stumbles over to Carson, holding a shot glass in the air like he’s trying not to spill even though the glass is empty. “Carson. That’s a stupid name. What’s your last name?”

Carson swigs his beer before answering. “Fisher.”

“Fisher, huh? I can work with that.” Shafer smacks him on the back and some of Carson’s beer splatters out. “Okay. Everyone listen. This is our new friend, Fish.” Shafer turns to him. “Got a girlfriend, Fish?”

Carson shakes his head, then drinks again.

“Fish needs to get laid tonight,” Shafer announces. He turns to Garret. “Kensington, you’ve slept with half the girls here. Pick one for our buddy, Fish.”

“Good luck with the friend thing,” Garret says to Carson. He grips my hand and drags me away from them. “You see why we don’t go to these?”

“What was he talking about? Why would he say that about you?”

“Just ignore him. He’s totally wasted.”

“Kensington, get your ass back here,” Dawson calls after us.

I turn back to find Carson following us. “Wait up. You can’t leave me with those assholes.”

Garret turns around, annoyed. “Most of the guys here are assholes, especially when they’re drunk.”

“Decker’s not,” I say, “but I haven’t seen him yet.”

“Who’s this?” I hear a girl’s voice behind Carson and see that it belongs to Sierra, my least favorite person after Ava. They’re best friends, so it makes sense that I don’t like her.

Sierra curls her hands around Carson’s massive bicep. “Hi. I’m Sierra. I’m a friend of Garret’s.” She looks at me as she says it.

“I’m Carson,” he says, not bothering to remove her hands from his arm. “I just started at Moorhurst.”

“He’s from Illinois,” I say, waiting for the confused look to appear on her face. It does and I almost start laughing, but Garret squeezes my hand signaling me to be nice. Forget that. I hate Sierra. “Illinois is in the middle. It’s next to Iowa.”

Garret squeezes my hand again. I don’t know why he insists I act nice to her. He doesn’t like her either.

“I know where Illinois is, Jade.” From her expression I know it’s a lie.

She smiles at Carson. “Are you on the football team? Because you look like a linebacker with these big muscles.”

I almost gag at her attempt to flirt.

Carson smiles back at her. “I played football in high school. I don’t play anymore.” He drinks his beer. “So how do you know Garret?”

Sierra’s in a daze, staring up at Carson, noticing the dimple and those deep brown eyes. She snaps out of it and glances over at Garret. “We went to high school together. Garret played football, too. He was quarterback.”

Garret played football? He never told me that. I thought swimming was his only sport.

“Quarterback, huh?” Carson nods at Garret. “So finding a date must’ve been easy.”

“I don’t remember. That was a long time ago.” Garret doesn’t like talking about high school. In fact, we’ve never talked about it, which explains why I didn’t know he played football.

“Garret and I went to homecoming together senior year,” Sierra says. “We were homecoming king and queen. Garret, you should show Jade the pictures from that night.”

“I didn’t know you two dated,” I say, glaring at Garret.

“We didn’t,” he says, keeping his eyes on Sierra.

“We just went to homecoming together.” She smiles at me with her glossy pink lips. “But we should’ve dated. Everyone said we’d make a great couple.”

Garret clears his throat. “Jade and I need to get going. Carson, just hang out with Sierra all night. She knows everyone here. She can introduce you to Decker if he ever gets here.”

“You sure you have to leave?” Carson asks, directing the question only to me.

“Yeah, we have plans. I’ll see you at class on Monday.”

“Bye, Garret,” Sierra says, as if I don’t exist.

We inch our way toward the front door. It’s so crowded now it’s hard to move. Garret’s ahead of me and I’m stuck behind a wall of bodies unable to get past.

And then I smell it. The familiar yet horrid smell that surrounded me on that awful night. I can still feel his heavy body holding me down. His giant hand shoved over my mouth so tight I could barely breathe.

My legs become numb and heavy and I can’t move forward. I have to know where that smell is coming from. It’s not from him. He’s gone. He’s in San Diego. That’s what everyone said. Someone else is wearing his cologne. It’s not him. It can’t be him.