Page 19

CHAPTER NINETEEN

The rest of the weekend we stay on campus. I don’t want to risk going into town and running into Blake. Decker texted Garret and said Blake was only home for the weekend and was flying back to San Diego on Sunday night. I assumed Blake wouldn’t be back here until spring break, but I guess when you’re rich you can fly home as much as you want. And apparently you can get away with whatever you want, too. Attempted rape. Selling drugs. I’m sure Blake’s done even more bad things and yet he gets to go on living his life without any type of punishment. Sure, he got kicked out of Moorhurst, but now he’s at some private college in San Diego. It’s hardly a punishment.

On Monday I see Carson at physics but I manage to avoid him. On Tuesday at chem class I realize I can’t keeping avoiding him, so I sit next to him like I always do and try to act like last Friday night never happened. He doesn’t say much, but he looks at me differently now. Like he feels sorry for me because of what he heard and saw at the party. And I hate that he looks at me that way.

When class ends I race out of the room and down the stairs, not putting my coat on until I get outside. I don’t want a lecture from Carson about how Garret is dangerous and aggressive and violent—all things I know he’s thinking after seeing Garret try to beat up Blake.

After lunch, I go to lab and arrive just as it’s starting. Carson’s already there setting up the equipment.

“Do you want to get the reactant or do you want me to?” Carson’s holding up a beaker that he’s already filled with one of the chemicals in the experiment.

“I’ll get it.”

He watches as I go to the table that has the other chemical we need, then continues to watch me as I walk back to our station and start the bunsen burner. Why is he watching me so closely? Is he thinking about the attempted rape?

I really wish Garret hadn’t told him about that. I know Garret didn’t say it to embarrass me. He was mad and he was trying to explain his behavior that night. I get that. But I still wish he hadn’t said it.

“So how did things work out with Sierra the other night?” I ask, hoping to take Carson’s mind off whatever he’s thinking that’s causing him to look at me that way.

“Good. She introduced me to some people. Mostly friends of hers from high school. That prep school Garret went to.”

“Yeah, a lot of people from that school ended up going here.”

“I heard some interesting stories about him.”

I pour the reactant into the beaker and start stirring our chemical mixture. “People shouldn’t talk about him when he’s not around. It’s rude. And just so you know, Sierra has a history of lying. She makes up stories that aren’t true.”

Carson checks the lab book. “We need to let this sit for 5 minutes. We’re not supposed to stir it.”

“Oh. Oops.” I take the stirrer out and set it on the counter.

“I’m sure Garret’s already told you everything anyway, so it’s not like you don’t already know that stuff, right?”

The way he says it, it sounds like he’s implying Garret has these deep dark secrets from high school that I don’t know about. He acts like I’m this naive little girl who has no idea what she’s gotten herself into by dating Garret, which totally pisses me off.

Talking about it will just cause us to fight so I change the subject. “What did you think of Sierra?”

“I don’t want to date her, if that’s what you mean. She’s not my type. She seems superficial. All about her looks and money.”

“That pretty much sums her up. Did you meet any other girls at the party?”

“Nobody I’d want to go out with. But I did meet a girl last week. We went out to dinner Saturday night. She’s on the tennis team. Kerry Mitchell. Do you know her?”

That explains the girl I’ve seen walking around campus with Carson. I only saw her from a distance so didn’t recognize her.

“Yeah, I know her. We’re friends. Or, I guess, more like acquaintances. I’m friends with this girl, Harper, who is also on the tennis team, so sometimes we have dinner with Kerry.”

“Maybe we could double date sometime. Unless Garret doesn’t do that type of thing.”

Another dig at Garret. What is with this guy? Why does he keep putting Garret down like this?

When lab is done, he walks back to the dorms with me and I confront him. “Listen, Carson. I don’t know what your problem is with Garret, but I need you to stop saying bad things about him. What happened at the party is not how he normally acts. He never gets into fights. He only got in one last Friday because he was trying to protect me. That’s it.”

“How well do you know him?”

“What type of question is that? You’re basically implying that I don’t know my own boyfriend or that he’s hiding stuff from me.” I walk faster.

Carson holds on to my jacket, forcing me to stop. “What do you know about his family?”

“I’m not dating his family, so it doesn’t matter.”

“That chemical company they own is always in trouble for stuff, but they never get charged with anything. It just goes away. Doesn’t that concern you?”

“No. It doesn’t. And why are you so interested in their company?”

“I’m into that type of stuff. Company cover-ups. Conspiracy theories. My uncle got me into it a couple years ago. He’s a reporter in Chicago. Anyway, he’s followed Kensington Chemical for the past few years and when I told him I was going to school with Garret Kensington, he sent me some stuff to check out online about the company and the Kensington family.”

“So you’re some conspiracy nut? You really believe that stuff? I have to tell you, Carson, I’m thinking less and less of you the more we talk.”

“You think less of me because I want to know the truth? So you think people should just go around believing whatever lies some company PR rep says? Lies the media tells us on the news? Kensington Chemical and companies like them pay people to spread their lies. To cover up stuff they don’t want people to know about. Or they get their rich, powerful friends to help them cover it up. Garret’s dad is already doing this. And soon Garret will be doing it, too, if he’s not already.”

“Garret has nothing to do with the company.” I rip my jacket from Carson’s grasp and start walking again. “I’m not talking to you about this. And I don’t want to hear anything else about Garret or his family. Just keep it to yourself.”

He steps in front of me. “Okay. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to piss you off. I just really like you and I don’t want you to get hurt.”

“What do mean you really like me? Like me how? Like a friend? Like a girlfriend? Because I’m telling you right now that I’m not breaking up with Garret.”

“I told you before that I wasn’t trying to date you. I’m just looking out for you.” He pauses. “You just remind me of someone. That’s all.”

“Who? An ex-girlfriend?”

“My sister.” He says it quietly as he leads me over to a bench to sit down. “You remind me of my sister. You talk like her. You sound like her. You have similar mannerisms.”

I remind him of his dead sister? Wow. I wasn’t expecting that. How do I respond to that? I’m not sure, so I sit there not saying anything.

“You remind me of her so much that I’ve felt this urge to protect you ever since I met you. Just like I used to protect my sister. Now that I say it out loud, it sounds crazy.” He lets out a nervous laugh and stares down at the ground. “Maybe I need to see a therapist. I didn’t realize I was so fucked up.”

“Carson, don’t worry about it. It makes sense now.” I lightly kick the side of his foot. “And I don’t think you need a therapist. You’re just a good older brother who misses his sister. There’s nothing wrong with that.”

“Yeah, but now you want nothing to do with me.”

“That’s not true. I like you, but I don’t like it when you say bad things about Garret. You barely know him, so it’s not fair for you to judge him like that. And as for Friday night, Garret only reacted that way because of Blake.” I lean forward, wrapping my fingers around the bottom of the bench and swinging my legs back and forth. “I didn’t want you to know what happened with Blake, but now that you do I hope that doesn’t make things weird between us.”

“Why would it make things weird?”

I shrug. “I don’t know. It’s just that I feel like you look at me differently now. Like you wonder how I ended up in that situation. And then I feel like I have to explain what happened and I don’t want to explain. I just want to move past it.”

“You don’t have to explain anything, Jade. That guy should be in jail for what he did. When Garret told me what happened I wanted to go back inside and beat that guy up myself. I understand why Garret reacted like that. I would’ve done the same thing.”

“Then why do you keep picking on him?” I sit up and start to lean back but notice Carson’s arm is now behind me on the bench so I lean forward again.

“I’m just worried about you. It’s that protective instinct like I had with my sister. I don’t want someone like you getting involved with people like the Kensingtons.”

“You don’t know anything about them, Carson. You’re just believing stuff you read on the Internet.”

“I still think you should be careful around them.”

“Let’s just agree not to talk about Garret or his family again, okay?” I stand up, slinging my backpack over my shoulder. “And you need to stop trying to protect me. I can take care of myself.”

“So are we still friends?” He smiles and even though I’m still mad at him, that freaking dimple makes me soften up a bit.

“Yes, we’re still friends.”

We walk back to our dorms and go our separate ways. It was a good talk. At least I understand him a little better. But I’m worried about his obsession with Garret’s family and their company.

The Kensingtons, and people like them, do all they can to keep their dark secrets buried. I know Garret’s dad has at least one dark secret he wants to keep hidden because I witnessed it. I watched him kill Sinclair and cover it up. But I get the feeling he’s done other things he doesn’t want people to know about out.

If Carson keeps prying into the sins of the Kensington family, he’ll end up in trouble. Big trouble. He doesn’t realize this and I wish I could tell him. But I can’t. Besides, he wouldn’t believe me unless I told him what I know and what I’ve seen and I can’t do that. Those are secrets I’ll keep for the rest of my life.

* * *

When I see Garret later, I tell him about my conversation with Carson, but only parts of it. I leave out the part about Carson’s interest in Kensington Chemical. Garret doesn’t need to know that. It would just make him hate Carson even more.

“He’s trying to gain your trust, Jade,” Garret says. “That stuff about you reminding him of his sister is bullshit.”

“You don’t know that. And you should really be more respectful. The girl is dead.”

“Yes, and I’m sorry he lost his sister, but I’m not letting him use that to get my girlfriend.”

“I’m telling you. He doesn’t think of me that way. He’s dating Kerry Mitchell now. And he knows you’re my boyfriend. I remind him of that all the time.”

“Yeah, and he doesn’t care. You said yourself that Carson lied that day he told me you were going to show him around town. Why would he do that?”

“To make you jealous,” I say quietly. “Make you think I was cheating on you.”

“Yes. Exactly. That’s why you can’t trust that guy.”

It’s no use arguing with Garret. No matter what I say, his mind is made up. He doesn’t trust Carson and probably never will.

* * *

Several weeks pass and things start to get back to normal. Carson stops making rude comments about Garret and doesn’t act interested in me at all, at least in a romantic sense. He’s dating Kerry and the two of them are together all the time. Harper gives me updates on them, not that I need to know, but from what she says it sounds like they really like each other.

Garret and I haven’t had a single argument since Carson backed off. And we haven’t gone to any parties. Instead, we’ve been going to Sean’s place with Harper. The four of us get along great. Sean and Garret are becoming really good friends. Garret’s even starting to hang out with Sean’s friends, none of whom are rich. I like that he’s finally hanging out with regular guys instead of the elitist jerks his dad forced him to be friends with in the past.

I haven’t been back to Garret’s house since witnessing the fight between Katherine and his dad. Apparently, Katherine’s living in a different section of the estate now, somewhere on the first floor. That place is so big I haven’t even seen all of the rooms.

I feel bad that I haven’t been over to see Lilly, but I’ve talked to her on the phone a few times. She says she has all these pictures she made for me and that I have to come pick them up so I can hang them on my walls at school. She doesn’t sound as happy as she used to. Garret’s been home a couple times to see her and said she keeps asking if I’ll come over, but I don’t think I should. Doing so would just cause Katherine and Garret’s dad to fight even more.

It’s now almost the middle of February and for the past week, Garret’s been dropping hints about Valentine’s Day. The hints are not helpful at all. I’m starting to think they’re just meant to confuse me. When I try to guess what we’re doing, he won’t tell me anything. All this secrecy is making me nervous. I hope he isn’t planning something huge, like a proposal, because I am not at all ready for that. I think he knows that, but still, I worry about it after the ring discussion we had on our New Year’s trip.

Valentine’s Day is on a Sunday this year. Today is the Friday before, and I still have no clue what Garret has planned.

After my last class of the day I go back to my room and find a dozen red roses sitting in a vase on my desk. A light fluttery feeling tickles my insides and I catch myself smiling in the mirror. It’s just flowers, Jade. Don’t get all girly. I tell myself that, but I’m still smiling like an idiot because I’ve never received flowers before.

I smell each rose, then open the little card sitting next to the vase. “Happy Valentine’s Day. I’m making the day into a weekend. Pack a bag. We’re leaving at 4. Garret”