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CHAPTER FIFTY

“What? No way! I’m not going out with Nic.”

“You want this to look real, right? In the real world, you’d start dating again.”

“That’s not gonna happen, Harper. First of all, I don’t want to date anyone, even if it’s fake dating. Second, Garret would be pissed. And third, it wouldn’t be fair to use Nic like that.”

She considers it. “Yeah. I guess. But I wasn’t saying you had to date him for weeks or months. Just one date. It would show people that you’re moving on.”

“Nic’s a nice guy. I don’t want to lead him on like that.”

“Well, you have to do something so people believe this break-up is real.”

“I’ll mope around my room. Pretend I’m depressed.”

“You’re the one who dumped Garret. So you’re the one who’s supposed to be moving on. Dating again. Garret’s supposed to be the depressed one. And instead he was in Bermuda last week with other girls.”

“Fine. I’ll think about it.”

She reaches over to the table by her bed and picks up the TV remote. “Are you watching the last episode?”

I check the clock and see that it’s time for the final episode of The Prep School Girls’ Reunion show. “Might as well.”

She turns the TV on and clicks through to the right channel. The show is just starting with the cheesy music and quick shots of the stars flashing on the screen. The first scene shows one of the girls fighting with her ex-boyfriend and then getting back together with him. How convenient. A happy ending for the last show. It’s so staged.

Scenes with two other girls follow after that. The final scene is with Ava and fake Garret and I start to get nervous. If they waited till the very end, there must be something big planned.

The scene is at Ava’s apartment, in her bedroom of course. The fake Garret has his shirtless back to the camera and they’re sitting on her bed. She’s facing him so the camera can catch her over-the-top, ridiculous expressions.

They flirt with each other, then kiss a little until the actor pushes her away.

“I have to tell you something,” fake Garret says.

Ava sits back, wide-eyed and tilting her head. “What is it?”

“I got drunk last night and slept with another girl.”

Cue Ava acting shocked and hurt. She covers her face and pretends to cry. She’s such a horrible actress.

“Babe, I’m sorry,” fake Garret says. “But you know I’m messed up. I always have been.”

What’s with the “babe” thing? Garret would never say that.

Ava lowers her hands from her face and looks at him. Her makeup isn’t even running, which it would be if she was really crying as hard as she made it sound.

She pouts her shiny red lips. “You’re messed up because of your mom, aren’t you?”

Did she really just bring up Garret’s mom? No way the show would stoop that low. Would they?

“When my mom died, I died with her. I’ve been this person I don’t even know.” Fake Garret starts fake crying and Ava gasps, then leans over to embrace him.

“It’s okay,” she says, not sounding at all sincere.

“No, it’s not. It’s not me. Getting drunk. Cheating on you. It’s all wrong. I’m so sorry, babe.”

“I forgive you,” Ava says. “And I’ll help you get through this. I’m here for you. I love you.”

The cheesy music begins and they fade out. Then words go across the screen telling people to go online for future updates on Ava and Garret.

Harper turns the TV off and waits for me to respond.

“That was so bad.” I get up to leave. “Thank God that was the last episode. I’m going to bed.”

“Don’t you want to talk about it?”

“No. I don’t even want to think about it anymore.”

I go to my room and despite what I said, all I can do is think about the show. The producer’s took something extremely personal in Garret’s life and used it to get ratings. And I hate them for that. And I hate Ava even more. She grew up with Garret. She knows what he’s been through and yet she somehow thinks it’s okay to talk about his mom’s death on a stupid reality show? How could she be that cold and heartless?

I consider going upstairs to Garret’s room. I need to see him and talk to him and give him a hug, but instead I have to sit down here and hope that he didn’t see the show, and if he did, that he’s okay.

Being apart from Garret all this time is starting to affect me more than I thought it would. I can’t stop thinking about him. I love him so much and he’s my best friend, and not being able to see him or talk to him is pure torture. Every little thing reminds me of him. And now, when I think he might be hurting and I can’t be with him, my heart actually aches. When I used to hear the word heartache I never understood it. But now I totally get it.

The next day, I keep an eye out for Garret, hoping I’ll see him so we can maybe sneak away somewhere private and I can talk to him just for a minute. But the day goes by and I don’t see him anywhere.

After classes, Harper and I head to Sean’s house. It’s Friday night and we drive separately since she’ll be spending the night over there.

Sean thinks Garret and I really broke up, so he’s being even nicer than normal. He makes tacos for dinner, which is one of my favorite meals. Then he insists that I pick out the movie we watch.

Harper gazes at him all night as if his kindness toward me has made her fall even more in love. It’s kind of annoying. I know I shouldn’t say that. I Iike that she’s happy. But now that I don’t have Garret, seeing her with Sean is almost painful.

On Saturday the three of us go to an afternoon movie. Harper and Sean snuggle and hold hands and I sit there, feeling like a third wheel. After that we go back to Sean’s apartment and he makes his famous homemade pizza and for dessert he makes brownie sundaes. If Harper marries this guy, she better work out a lot or she’ll gain 100 pounds.

Later we play a board game where you have to find clues and solve a crime. It’s based on one of those TV crime shows. Sean says he got it for Christmas and this is the first time he’s played it. It’s not very fun so we quit halfway through the game and watch TV.

“Sean, Jade doesn’t like basketball,” Harper says when he stops on a game. “Let’s watch something else.”

He switches the channel and Garret’s picture is in the corner of the screen. Sean quickly flips to another channel.

“No. Go back,” I tell him. “I want to see that.”

He looks at Harper who nods in agreement, then flips back to the other channel.

“—was in Vegas last night and caused $10,000 in damages to his hotel suite. Sources say they found traces of cocaine in the room but can’t prove who it belonged to. When hotel staff discovered the mess, Kensington was already gone. Friends say he was headed to Lake Tahoe on the Kensington jet for a round of golf. Garret’s father, Pearce Kensington, released a statement to the press apologizing for his son’s recent behavior and promising he’ll pay for the damages. In other celebrity news…”

“You can change the channel now,” I say to Sean as I get up from the couch. “I should leave. It’s getting late.” I grab my purse and head for the door.

“You don’t have to leave.” Sean sounds like he feels even more sorry for me than before.

“Yeah, Jade,” Harper says, playing along. “Let’s watch a movie.”

“No, I just need to go. Thanks for dinner, Sean.”

“Sure. What time are you coming over tomorrow?”

“I can’t come over. I have to do homework. See you guys later.”

Harper invited me to come over on Sunday, too, but I know she wants to be alone with Sean. Today was fun, but hanging out with the two of them is starting to get uncomfortable. We need Garret there to balance things out.

Back in my room, I go through my mail and notice an envelope from Grace and Arlin. I open it and inside is a card with a letter saying how much they enjoyed our lunch. There are also some photos of Grace’s flower garden. On the back of the photos she wrote the names of the flowers in her old-lady, cursive handwriting. I pin the photos up on the cork board above my desk. They’re so pretty they almost look like postcards.

I’ve never had a grandma, but after meeting Grace just one time she already seems like the type of grandma I imagined in my head growing up. I’m really glad I agreed to meet her. I really like Arlin, too. And I’ve decided that I want to spend more time with them.

I’ve given this a lot of thought because after our lunch the other day, I felt a little guilty for meeting with them, like I shouldn’t agree to see them again knowing what their son did to my mom. But that’s my head talking, not my heart. If I go with my heart, it tells me to give Grace and Arlin a chance.

Arlin said he didn’t raise his son to be that way and I believe him. From our brief encounters, I can tell that Arlin’s a nice man. It’s just that there’s this part of me that wants to punish his son, and since Royce isn’t around I feel the need to punish his father.

I wish I could talk to Garret about this, but I think I already know what he’d say. He’d tell me to let it go. To not punish Arlin for his son’s actions. To forgive.

I’ve never been very good with the whole forgiveness thing but I’m getting better at it thanks to Garret. He’s really good at forgiving people, like his dad and even Katherine. He says you shouldn’t waste energy being angry about stuff from the past. He used to tell me that whenever I’d get mad about my mom and how she treated me. He’d tell me I need to forgive her because it’s the only way I can move on. And he’s right. I’ve slowly started to forgive her the past few months and it makes my heart feel more open and more free to let people in.

When I think about that, I realize what a huge influence Garret’s had on me. Sometimes I forget that, but now that we’re not together I’m more aware of how much I’ve changed since he came into my life. And being reminded of that makes me miss him even more.

* * *

The weeks that follow go by excruciatingly slow. I sometimes see Garret from afar but that’s it. His car is gone every Friday around 3 and doesn’t show up again until Monday morning.

Celebrity news shows and talk shows report on whatever bad things he did over the weekend and it’s starting to affect people’s opinion of him. There are comments online about him being an alcoholic and a drug addict and needing to go to rehab. People are calling him inconsiderate, spoiled, out-of-control, immature, and other negative things.

Fake Garret’s wild weekends have included property damage, car crashes, binge drinking, lots of girls, and evidence of possible drug use. None of this stuff is actually happening but it really does seem real. I don’t know how Arlin and Pearce are pulling this off. Does nobody check these stories to see if they’re true?

Arlin and Pearce obviously have enough connections and enough people who owe them favors to make these things happen but it still baffles me. After seeing this, I’ll never believe another news story again.

As for Ava, she fake-dumped Garret a week after the last reality show aired, saying she couldn’t take his constant cheating. She went on talk shows and used social media to tell everyone it was over. Now she’s dating a male model from Brazil and her teen fans have moved their attention from Garret to this new guy.

My life seems boring in comparison. I’ve been meeting Arlin and Grace every Thursday for lunch for the past three weeks. Now that it’s spring and the weather is warmer, they’ve moved back to their home in the Hamptons. They usually wait until May to go there, but they moved up earlier this year so they could spend time with me before school’s out.

I went to their house last weekend for the first time. It’s a huge mansion, but it isn’t at all like the Kensington mansion. It’s decorated more like Carson’s house with warm colors and comfortable furniture. It’s right on the ocean and has a big wraparound porch in the back. Arlin even grilled steaks for dinner when I was there. I didn’t think billionaires cooked, but Arlin does. Grace said they have a chef but that he only works there in the summer months.

I really like hanging out with Arlin and Grace. We still avoid the topic of Royce and what happened, and maybe we always will. There isn’t a reason to bring it up and doing so might risk the relationship we’re developing.

Arlin is my only source of updates on Garret. He says the organization hasn’t even addressed the public’s shifting attitude and that the plan for Garret’s future has not been discussed in over a month.

I’m trying to stay positive, but Arlin’s updates have me worried. I thought by now this group would at least be holding meetings about Garret, discussing his bad behavior and reassessing their decision. But they’re not, and that makes me think that maybe this was all for nothing. Maybe this group is determined to go forward with their plan and there’s nothing we can do about it. I’m just not ready to accept that.