Page 80 of Please Don’t Go (The Midnight Strike #1)

DANIEL

“Morning.” Josie pads into the kitchen wearing nothing but my T-shirt.

I lean a hip against the counter, soaking in every inch of her. From her disheveled wavy hair, down to the rumpled shirt, and every bit of her skin that’s visible.

“Stop looking at me like that,” she bashfully says but still manages to fit a little frown on her face.

“You know I can’t.” I grin, stretching my arms and parting my legs for her to stand between them.

She quickly does, snuggling against me. I wrap my arms around her and kiss the top of her head.

“You’re wearing my shirt and you’re mine.

I’m going to stare at you. Plus, you weren’t complaining last night when I was looking at you. So don’t start now.”

She scoffs. “I’m pretty sure eighty percent of the time, you were staring at my boobs.”

I gasp. “That’s not true. That was like fifty percent. I was also staring at your ass, your pussy, your face. I wish you could see yourself when you’re coming. I swear it’s an experience I’ll never get over.”

Josie muffles her laugh against my chest. “Maybe we can record it happening and then watch it together. I really hope I look as good as you’re always raving about.” I hear the mischievous tone in her voice.

She could very well be playing around, but my thoughts derail off track as I picture it happening. I stop breathing and my pulse picks up. “Are you being serious?”

“Mm-hmm. We have cameras, don’t we?” I nod hastily. “So why not? Let’s do it. You’ll be gone soon, and I’ll need something to get off to.”

My cock throbs. “Then we need to make several videos. I want to make sure you have plenty of things to watch while I’m gone.”

She cups my semi-hard dick through my shorts. “What are we talking…bedroom, shower…”

“Pool…kitchen…living room…” I groan, closing my eyes only to open them back up because I forgot about the oatmeal in the pot.

I glance at it, thankful I put it on low heat, but still I part from Josie to turn the burner off.

“I’m going to call Coach and tell him I won’t be able to make it to practice today. ”

I turn, pinning her against my body and the counter before I lift her up and sit her on it. She circles her legs around my waist, slips her arms around my shoulders, and shakes her head.

“You can’t do that. Today’s your first day back and you have a game later today.”

“I’m not playing though.” I peck her lips.

Because I haven’t really trained in a month, Coach and Jarvis thought it’d be best if I sat this one out. They also don’t want to throw me back out there after everything that’s happened.

She draws back, and a small smile curls on her face. “How are you feeling?”

I play with the hem of her shirt as I consider how I feel before I say it out loud.

It’s not that I don’t want to tell her. I trust her more than I’ve ever trusted anyone, but my first instinct is to plaster on the biggest smile I can muster and lie.

It’s always been easier to pretend that I’m fine than to admit that I’m not out loud so I don’t worry anyone.

But I know it’s not what I need to do. I need to say exactly what’s going on in my head instead of bottling it up inside.

The last thing I want is another panic attack.

“I’m ready to go back and do what I love.

But I’m a little anxious to actually be there physically.

The guys saw me have a panic attack in the locker room, Coach D’Angelo talked me through it, and then I left.

They don’t know what I’ve been going through, only that I’m not okay.

I hate that I abandoned them and hate how long I was gone.

I know it needed to be done, but I can’t help but feel like I disappointed them. ”

She brushes my hair on the side soothingly.

“You didn’t abandon them. You needed to take care of yourself, to put yourself first because you never do.

I’m sure they know that, and I’m sure they’re not going to be upset because you left.

If anything, they’ll be happy because you’re back and you’re okay. I know I am.”

I meet her stare then hug her. “I’m sorry about everything.”

“You really need to stop apologizing. I get it. I didn’t at first because of my own issues, but look at us.

You’re not hiding. I’m not running. We’re here, together, and I’m not overthinking your hug and you’re not faking your smile for the sake of pretending to be happy.

We’re far from perfect and we’ll never be and that’s okay.

We’ll keep working things out, finding out what works and what doesn’t. And we’ll do it together.”

“God…” I clear my throat. “You’re amazing.”

“Thank Jarvis for that. She’s all about embracing my emotions. It still makes me want to throw up, but it’s easy to do with you.”

I chuckle, kissing her cheek. “Everything is easy to do with you.”

Pink colors her cheeks. “Even swimming?” She pauses, studying my face. “There’s no pressure whatsoever. If you don’t want to, that’s okay, but I’d really love for you to learn. Even if it’s not with me. I found someone who?—”

“I’ll do it with you. I can maybe squeeze thirty minutes to an hour a day or something, but we’ll make it work.” I smile and when her gaze drops to it, her eyes light up.

“Really?”

“Yeah, we never got to play Marco Polo and you know how much I love games,” I playfully say but then I get serious. “And you’re right; it’s important and I should learn how to do it. I really want to learn.”

She twirls a lock of my hair around her finger. “We’ll take it slow, but I promise you’ll be swimming in the deep end before you know it. You’re going to do great, and I’m going to be there every step of the way, okay?”

“Thank you.” I rest my forehead against hers.

“No, thank you for helping me fill the emptiness and for being patient with me.”

“You deserve to be happy. You deserve good things, Jos,” I repeat what she said to me.

We hug each other and bask in the silence that follows after until we have to part to get ready for the day.

I’m bombarded by all my teammates the moment I step into the locker room. Hugs and questions get thrown my way. Thankfully, no one asks about the panic attack or sounds disappointed in my leave of absence. They’re just happy I’m back like Josie said they would be.

“Give Sparky room!” Kai yells. “Let him breathe. He just got back.”

“Stop making him feel so important.” Noah rolls his eyes at me. “He’s just a guy. Who was the reason we weren’t so shit. I hope you all get your shit together now that he’s back.”

“Love you, Noah.” I grin at him, glad he’s being his grumpy self, deflecting the attention from me to him.

They all throw quick excited words at me, pats on my shoulder and back, and disperse to their lockers to get ready for our pre-game workout and something new Coach has implemented.

I go to mine and pull my phone out, finding a message from Josie.

My Josie : Check the outside of your bag’s pocket

I search one pocket and then the other until I feel a thin piece of paper. When I pull it out and read the Post-it note, the tornado of anxiety twisting in my stomach dies.

You make the world brighter and better!

I’m so happy you’re here!

With love, Jos3

I fold the paper in half and tuck it in the sleeve of my wallet where the rhinestone is.

Me: I know fate is real. I know because you exist

My Josie : You know I’ve never been a believer, but you make it so easy to believe. I love you and your hot face

Me: I love you!! Just my hot face?

My Josie : And your hot everything. Go warm up or whatever it is you guys are supposed to do! I’ll see you at the game

My cheeks ache from how big I’m smiling, but it falters at the person who says my name behind me.

Bryson stands there, hands tucked in his pockets, staring at me like a child who’s just been scolded. “Hey, Danny.”

“I don’t want to?—”

“I’m sorry,” he cuts in quietly.

“What was that?”

His eyes dart around then he dejectedly sighs because everyone is staring—discreetly, but they’re still staring.

“I’m sorry about the shit I said and for pushing you in the pool.

I didn’t think—I didn’t know about your fear and if I would’ve known, I would’ve pushed you on the ground or something.

I’m also…sorry about everything else. I’m… glad you’re back.”

I narrow my eyes, staring at him dubiously. “How much were you paid to say this?”

He gives me a tight-lipped smile. “Not paid. I-I mean it. I’m trying to do the right thing here for fuck’s sake. I’m sorry for being a dick.”

“A piece of shit, but I’ll let ‘dick’ slide.” I flash him my friendliest smile when he glares at me.

“Are we good?” He cocks a brow, sticking his hand out for me to take.

I want to say fuck no, but the ACC tournament is a few weeks away then soon after is the NCAA Regionals. We all need to be getting along and working as a team, and as the captain, I need to set an example.

I clutch his hand. “We’re good. Just stay away from Josie.”

His brows arc in surprise, despite how tense his face looks. “I thought you guys broke up?”

“We’re good. Really good. And you and I will be good as long as you stay away from her.”

He tugs his hand away, and his jaw tics. “Whatever.”

“I mean it. Stay the fuck away from Josie.”

His eyes harden, jaw clenching again. “She was my girlfriend first. We have history.”

I don’t smile like I naturally would to keep the peace, but I don’t make a show of looking angry or annoyed either. I just blankly look at him, and funnily enough, he squirms a little. Is he nervous?

“Well, now she’s your ex and one day she’ll be my wife. She moved on; it’s time you do too.”

His eyes widen and I swear he looks defeated, but then he rolls his eyes. “Whatever. She downgraded anyway.”

Bryson stalks off, his face blistering red.

Gray stands next to me, but he doesn’t say anything, too enthralled in whatever’s on his phone. No, I think he looks annoyed. That’s new.

“What’s up with you?” I ask him.

“I hate group projects. Hope whoever created them is burning in hell.” He furiously types on his phone.

“Fucking Christ, I’m an athlete and I still get my shit done.

What’s everyone else’s excuse? Now my grade is going to be shit because she—I swear she’s been a pain in my ass all semester. Thank God it’s almost over.”

Kai and I lock eyes, wondering what that’s about. Grayson is everything but ever actually mad. An arrogant little shit by default but never angry and never because of a grade. But what he’s feeling is valid because I’d be mad too.

My gaze snaps to the door when Angel steps in. He looks a little disheveled and out of it.

“You good?” I quizzically stare at him.

A crooked grin grows on his face. “Yeah, I’m good. I’m really fucking good.”

I realize now he looks sated, not zoned out. Right, he’s all about superstitions. “Please don’t tell me who the girl was. I really don’t want or need the details.”

“I wasn’t planning on sharing.” He winks at me. “It’s good to have you back, papi .”

It’s good to be back.

Being out in the field is still weird, but the lump in my throat doesn’t feel heavy. Even the weight on my chest feels fairly light. Jarvis said it’s normal but also said the only way it wasn’t going to get worse or spiral into a panic attack, was to accept out loud what I feel.

It felt ridiculous at the time, but now that I started talking about it, I feel better. The guilt still lingers, but every day does feel lighter. And now that Josie’s back in my life, I’m happy. I’m okay, not fine, but I’m okay.

I finish signing a couple of jerseys then slide down the line.

“Hi,” the girl says, wearing an oversized jersey with my number on it. “I’m a really big fan.” She twirls a wisp of her hair around her finger. “Can you sign my jersey?” She gives her back to me.

“Hey, yeah, no problem.” I sign the inside of the number.

She rubs her glossy lips together, and a cunning gleam shines in her eyes. “You want to write your number while you’re at it?”

“I’m very taken.”

“That’s a bummer.” She clicks her tongue, leaning over the padded railing, showing me her cleavage. “You want my number in case things don’t work out?”

I bite the inside of my cheek. “I’m very in love with her.”

“I’m very in love with my vibrator. Doesn’t mean I can’t use a different one,” she whispers. “I also have this baseball. If you’d rather write your number here.”

I wet my lips, puffing out a breath. “Okay.” I take the ball from her hand and scribble something on it. “But this stays between us.”

“I promise.” She raises her right hand then takes the ball. She reads what I wrote and huskily laughs.

“Hey!” Pen shouts, holding her phone up. “Let me take a picture before you have to go.”

“What do you say, number six?” Josie sits on the padded railing. “We can put them in one of the picture frames you bought.”

I slip my arm around her waist and stand taller. Pen takes a multitude of pictures then waves me off before she goes to take her seat next to Vienna.

“I’m so glad you’re here, even though I’m not playing.” I take her hand in mine.

I’m still warming up with the team and doing this new thing Coach implemented. He has us lay flat on the ground and look up at the clouds and call out whatever we see. We did that for thirty minutes and I, along with the other guys, really enjoyed it.

“I’ll be wherever you are. Playing or not.” She smiles at me.

“You’re obsessed with me.”

She shrugs bashfully, twisting a ring. “Yeah? And?”

“Good because I’m very obsessed with you.” I slide a ring off her finger and unhook my chain and add the small gold band to it. “Now I’ll get to have a little piece of you everywhere I go.”

She toys with my chain then drops it, letting it softly hit my chest. “I’m going to go sit down because you’re making it hard for me. You’re in your uniform and then you stand there, look at me like that, and say that to me.”

“Josie?” I grab her wrist before she walks away.

“Yeah?”

“My last name looks really good on you. Really hate that I can’t see you wearing it all the time.”

A breathtaking smile lifts on her face. “What’s that saying? Take a picture, it’ll last longer? Something like that, right?”

My eyes widen and my throat dries because I know what she’s insinuating.

“Good luck, Cap.”