Page 47 of Please Don’t Go (The Midnight Strike #1)

DANIEL

You didn’t try hard enough! He’s not dead! Try again or I will! I’ll do CPR!

The sharp ring of the doorbell pierces the quiet house, disrupting the memory but not making it go away. It hovers over my head like a dark fog, lingering.

When the doorbell rings again, I realize I zoned out and I’m still sitting on the side of my bed.

Lifting my hat, I comb my fingers through my hair, before I place it back and trudge down the stairs. As I stand in front of the door, I smile but close my eyes because it feels too tight on my face. Blowing out a breath, I attempt it again and this one feels more natural.

Angel, Kai, and Gray stand on the other side. They have grocery bags in their hands and a duffle or a bookbag on their shoulders.

“Took you long enough,” Kai huffs. “What are you doing in there?” He smirks, peeking around me as if he hopes to see something scandalous.

“I didn’t take that long.”

“We rang the bell five minutes ago and we texted you,” Angel waves his phone.

All of a sudden, my clothes feel too tight on me, my skull painfully throbs, and my chest flares with anxiety.

Impending doom is what I’ve been feeling recently. I know why and I wish I could make it go away. I wish I could shut my brain off from the memory, but I can’t. Every year close to Adrian’s death anniversary, I feel dread, so much of it. And the day of is full of blur-filled panic attacks.

“Sorry, I was finishing up an assignment and?—”

Gray barks out a laugh. “Right, sure, assignment .” He winks at me. “Those assignments…” he says extra loud as I step to the side to let them in. “They make us lose track of time, don’t they?”

“She’s not here, dumbass.” I lead them into the kitchen and watch their gaze coast over it, then the living room, until they finally settle on the flowers.

Josie gave me the green light to let the guys come over a few days ago.

I wasn’t going to ask, but she said I could bring people over since I live here, so long as it doesn’t become a party.

Which I’m totally okay with. I invited my old roommates and they came except for Noah.

He said he’s had enough of us and needs his space.

Which is valid. Since the season started almost two weeks ago, we’ve had nine games and the last five were back-to-back days.

And despite not having a game today, we still had team lift in the morning and practice.

It wasn’t as heavy as it was during preseason, but it was still exhausting, nonetheless.

“Sure, right.” He winks again.

“She went on a run a while ago.” That’s not a lie, but Kai and Gray are looking at me like they’re not buying it.

“What’s with the flowers?” Angel asks, amused and shocked.

I couldn’t decide which yellow flower to get, so I got one of each.

Although I didn’t mean to get two dozen of each, but it was the best mistake of my life.

Whenever we’re in the kitchen or living room, I’ll catch Josie smiling as she’s looking at them.

She’s even taken a few to her room. And she’s been diligently replacing their water, so they still look good for it being two weeks since I gave them to her.

“Forget the flowers. It feels so…sterile.” Kai’s eyes roam over every inch of space he can. There’s a lot of it, but because there’s not a lot in here, it really enhances how white and gray everything is. “It’s so cold and?—”

“It’s not your house, so shut the fuck up.” I cut him off sharply.

I noticed that too and when I asked Josie about it—not in the way Kai just spoke about it—she said, her mom liked everything simple.

I get simplicity, but this is something else.

There are no picture frames, colors, or anything, and because Josie is constantly cleaning it, it doesn’t feel like it’s been lived in.

It actually looks like one of those staged houses.

I wanted to ask Josie more about it, but she looked overwhelmed and annoyed, so I didn’t pry. After our conversation two weeks ago though, it makes me wonder how Josie’s mom treated her. Now all I want to do is hold her.

“Sorry.” He raises his hands in surrender and looks sincerely apologetic. “I didn’t mean to offend. The yellow really makes the house look?—”

“Kainoa, just shut up.” Angel shoves his head after he places the bags on top of the island.

“Yeah, Kai, just shut up,” Gray antagonizes, a snarky grin on his face.

He rolls his eyes. “I said I was sorry. Shit, is she in here? Sorry, Josie, I didn’t mean that and?—”

“I told you she’s not here.” I take the stuff they bought to make burgers out of the plastic bags. “You’re making me regret inviting you.”

“Way to go, dumbass.” Gray slaps him upside the head.

“Don’t—” I only manage to get out before Kai and him are wrestling each other. Now they’re on the floor and waiting for one or the other to say, “Tap out.”

Angel shakes his head. “Let them sort it out. I’m not getting involved. The last time I did, I got punched and then I punched them and they got mad at me.”

I bite back a laugh, remembering how pissed off they both were. Angel has one hell of an arm, so I know how much that punch must’ve hurt them both.

“So…she’s really okay with us being here? Using her pool?” he asks, changing the subject.

“Yeah, she said as long as Bryson was never invited and there were no parties, it was all good.”

A lopsided smile curves his mouth. “If that isn’t a sign, I don’t know what is.”

Gray grunts, flustered and breathless, but still he doesn’t voice those two words.

“It’s not…” I weakly reply because I want it to be something. Hell, it’s all I’ve been thinking about for two weeks now.

Not only because she came on my mouth and fingers… I blink away the memory—that has been living in my mind rent free—and think about Sunday.

The kiss we shared, her letting me hold her as if she were mine, and then falling asleep on me. She hadn’t meant to and looked so disconcerted when she woke up. I wanted to beg her to stay, but I knew she felt frazzled about it. So I let her leave.

My mouth or fingers on her hadn’t been an issue, but she bolted at affection. I don’t know why, but I want to change her mind about it; however, I’m not her boyfriend and she’s not mine.

“Don’t fight it.” He pops the bag of Churrumais open and stuffs a handful into his mouth. “If you like her, go for it.”

“Weren’t you against relationships, and begging me to stay single?”

“What’s the point?” he says as he chews. “You’re not hooking up with anyone and you’re always staring at her.”

“I’m not always?—”

“You…” Kai grunts and groans before he blows out a heavy breath. “Do.”

They’re still on the floor. I swear if they break something… The house may not have much, but I know everything is expensive.

I place the plastic bags in the bag holder and change the conversation. “You guys can get in the pool. It’s warm.”

“Tap out,” Gray sputters, slapping Kai’s arms. His face is beet red and covered in a sheen of sweat. They’re both sophomores, a year younger than me, but I swear they act like they’re ten. “I only did that because I want to get in the pool.”

“Yeah,” Kai says, a little breathless, but doesn’t look disheveled the way Gray does. “Sure, okay.”

“I don’t have it in me to care if you believe me or not.” He stands and picks up his duffle. “Which way to the pool?”

I grin, pointing at the glass sliding door that leads to the large backyard.

Kai laughs, following behind him. “Aw, Grayson, come here. Don’t be like that. You know I love you, brah.”

“Don’t start that mahalo stuff on…”

We don’t hear the rest of what they’re saying because Kai shuts the door behind him, leaving Angel and me alone.

He stares at me, extensively like he’s trying to figure something out. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” I play it off, shrugging and lifting my smile.

“I know this time of the year is weird, and April is approaching and?—”

“I’m fine.” There’s a bite to my voice, but I quickly shake it off. “I promise.”

“How are the swimming lessons coming along?” he questions, unperturbed by my curt reaction.

“They’re…coming along. Not a lot of improvement. I’ve told Josie she’s wasting her time, but she’s adamant and won’t give up.”

We recently had to switch them for Thursdays since most of my games will be Sundays. So today after the guys leave, I’ll have another lesson. I still somewhat dread it, but once she’s guiding me, her hands touching me, I feel okay.

“You know, I like her.”

My back goes rigid at the way he said that.

“Not like that.” He snorts and pauses to fish his phone out of his pocket. He reads whatever is on the screen before his gaze lifts to mine. Something feels off about the way he’s looking at me, but he smiles and tucks his phone back in his pocket.

“Everything good?”

“Oh yeah, it’s—” His eyes dart back to his pocket. “Actually, I’ll be back. I gotta answer this.”

He drops the bag of chips on the island and walks out to the backyard before I can get a word out. I don’t understand why he did that when he’s very open with me. I don’t muse over it because it must’ve been someone important, like his mom or siblings.

My focus on Angel is long forgotten as the pretty girl with raven-black hair and rich brown eyes occupies my mind. She shouldn’t but I can’t help that my body begs for her in the way it never has for anyone else.

Begs, yeans, needs. My body is desperate. No, I’m desperate .

She doesn’t need you. You’re broken. The dark fog, remember it. You’re weak, my brain screams.

“Maybe I should start posting more.” Kai’s eyes narrow on the small screen of Gray’s phone. “How much do you think Saint’s making?”

Grayson is close with Saint Arlo, a basketball player from North Carolina University. They went to some private middle and high school in Boston and have been friends ever since. At least that’s what he told us.

He supports everything he does, like watching Saint’s basketball games, Live’s on Instagram or TikTok, or whatever stupid shit he gets himself into.