Page 35 of Playoff (Toronto Blaze #4)

No good deed goes unpunished

Alek

That lasted until the next day when I got her message, and my answer was an immediate yes.

My brain didn’t kick in until I’d already responded.

It reminded me that I’d decided it was better to stop this and not risk all the good things I had going right now.

My body said we’d managed to keep it quiet for weeks, except for Fitch finding us, so why not a little longer?

And damn it, I wanted more time with Jess.

She was the one person I could relax with.

I’d had enough people trying to play me over the years that I had a good sense about it.

Her family had been hurt by mine, but she wasn’t using me.

I’d told her things I hadn’t shared with anyone else.

If it wasn’t for the sex, we’d be friends. And I had few of those.

Our time was limited—my schedule with travel and evening games took up a lot of the hours she was free. Around the rest of the team, we had to pretend we barely knew each other. But now we didn’t have to work around Fitch. Fortunately, he’d found someone he was hooking up with, so he was often out.

The frantic rush was gone—we didn’t want anyone to know, but in this condo I was sharing with Fitch, we didn’t have to hide.

After the orgasms, we relaxed. I even found myself cuddling her up against me and talking.

I wasn’t sure who I was when I did things like that, but I pushed the worries aside. We had an expiration date.

Maybe someday I could find someone and have this. Something I hadn’t known I wanted. But not now, and not with this woman.

Late in March, before one of the last road trips of the season, Jess was distracted, lips drooping into a frown. She’d had an excellent orgasm, nails marking my back as she came beneath me, so it had to be something else that she’d been worrying about.

I moved her closer to me, her head on my chest, my hands tugging on her hair. “Hey Trouble, what’s up?”

That brought her attention back. “Hmmm?”

“You’re miles away.”

“Sorry.”

“No problem. Did you want to talk about it?” I almost bit my tongue. Who was this guy, asking to talk?

She sighed. “Mrs. Garvin’s son moved her investments to another advisor. Which is good, because I was never going to be comfortable with what he wanted to do. But my boss is pissed and I feel like I’ve failed my best client.”

“Would she think that?”

Her head shook against my pec. “No. You’re right.”

She really didn’t seem to like her job much. “Why are you a financial advisor?” She tensed. Oh, right. “Because of my parents.”

She nodded.

“You wanted to make sure you and your family didn’t go through that again.”

“Or anyone.”

Which would make knowing her favorite client’s savings were at risk more troubling.

“What did you want to do before the Denbrowski disaster?” Jess had told me how her brother had completely upended his life. I suspected she had as well, though she wouldn’t admit it.

Her body relaxed again. “I’d declared an English Lit major, not sure what I would do with it. Back then, it didn’t seem pressing.”

Back then she had money to buffer her life. Then that was gone, and she’d had to become practical. Avoiding risks and taking the safe path. Fuck my parents, causing havoc to so many people without any consideration.

“I’m sorry you had to give that up.”

She shrugged. “It wasn’t that much.” Not compared to her brother, she meant.

“Do you like what you do?” I was fortunate, because I did.

Jess didn’t complain about her job, but she hadn’t complained about anything regarding herself.

Not about living in Toronto—did she miss the West Coast?

Not her job with investments instead of books.

Had she never gotten serious about someone because she was taking care of her brother?

“It’s fine.” Not a ringing endorsement.

“Why did you come to Toronto?”

Her body was tense again. “There were a lot of jobs.”

“And your brother?”

“It was after the Sharleen fiasco. He needed someone to keep him from becoming a total hermit.”

I guessed. “And you owed him.”

She pushed herself up and away, holding the sheet to her chest as if she didn’t want to be naked with me now.

“He didn’t ask. He didn’t make me feel guilty.

But yes, I owe him. Someone needs to look out for him.

My parents? Are still focused on regaining their wealth and will lie to him to get money for lawyers or more risky investments.

Our grandmother has dementia. The two women he’s loved couldn’t put him first. So who else is going to do that? ”

That both saddened and angered me. Who knew when JJ might get his shit together and see that his sister needed some freedom? And till then, he was her priority. She would do nothing to hurt him, nothing for herself. Nothing except this thing with me, and it was a secret with an expiry date.

“Your family is big on self-sacrifice.” I didn’t mean to sound sharp, but this wasn’t a good dynamic for either twin.

“Not all of us.” She leaned over the bed, reaching for her clothes.

Right . Two sets of shitty parents between us, more concerned with money than their children.

I wanted to pull her back. Tell her she deserved to be happy for herself. Ask her to—what? What did I want? To make this arrangement more permanent?

What the hell?

Jess had pulled on her underwear and her jeans. She’d grabbed a T-shirt, mine, and held her socks and bra in her hands.

“I need to go.” She wouldn’t meet my eyes.

Damn it. “Wait, Jess. I didn’t mean to upset you.”

“No, I should—” She gestured to the door and started toward it.

Why had I brought up JJ while we were in bed together? That would trigger that guilt complex. I jumped out of bed, grabbing my boxers and hopping into them while I moved.

She started down the hallway, walking fast. I picked her T-shirt up off the floor and followed her. I opened my mouth to tell her she had the wrong shirt on when someone called her name.

“Jess?”

We both froze. JJ stood in the condo entrance, looking shocked. Jess’s hair was messed, her clothing wrinkled, and she was wearing a T-shirt too large for her while holding her bra—there was no missing what she’d been doing.

“Justin?” Her voice was small. It killed me.

Fitch stepped out of his room, bringing JJ’s attention to him and me. Fitch was still dressed—he couldn’t have been in for long. While I was standing with nothing but boxers on, probably looking as sex-mussed as Jess.

“JJ?” Fitch questioned.

Shit . Maybe he could think of a way to salvage this.

JJ turned his attention back to his twin. “Grandma is dead. Your phone showed me you were here. Check your messages.” He turned and walked out. The door slammed behind him.

Jess looked back at us, mouth open to say something, before she turned and ran after her brother. I stood, rooted in place, as the door opened and shut again.

“Well, fuck.” Fitch expressed it well. “Sorry—he must have used the key I gave him for emergencies. I didn’t think about Jess being here…”

Something twisted inside me, making me want to punch the wall, or get really, really drunk. I clenched my fists but refrained from venting my feelings on the drywall.

“Now you don’t have to sneak around.”

I turned slowly to him. “What?”

“Maybe you’re not fucking it out. Maybe you can see if there’s something there.”

What was he talking about? “You think JJ is going to give me his blessing to be with his sister?”

“It’s not up to him, is it?”

It was, and it wasn’t. JJ wouldn’t ask, but Jess believed she owed him. “Doesn’t matter. It’s over.”

“Are you sure?”

Oh yeah. Jess would always go to her brother. Always.

I waved toward the door. “She made her choice.” She was gone. Just like my parents and sister had left, like the teams who traded me— I wasn’t the kind of person you kept. Time to remember why I didn’t do relationships.

Damn it. This one had snuck up on me.

I shrugged at Fitch. “Game tomorrow. We’d better get some sleep.”

I didn’t hear from Jess that night. I hadn’t expected to, but I was still sucker-punched when I checked my phone. Should I text and ask her how her family was doing? How she was doing after losing the grandmother she loved? But why would she want that from me?

I’d gotten too invested. We were never long-term, never in a relationship.

Just an extended hookup. Despite our pillow talk, we weren’t friends outside of the bedroom.

I was sure Jess had managed to fuck me out of her system after last night.

Unfortunately, I hadn’t gotten there yet.

But I had to, fast. I wouldn’t have her in my bed again.

That night was not my best sleep, since my mind kept replaying our time together. I woke up tired but I had a job to do. I drank extra coffee and caught a ride with Fitch to the arena.

Between games, we worked out and trained at the practice facility, one of the nicer ones in the league.

Advantage of playing for an expansion team with less than twenty years of history.

Practice on game day was at the arena we played in, so that was where we were this morning.

We got the first time slot and Carolina followed.

The stands had more than the usual number of press on hand, trying to get the scoop on the lines for tonight.

Playoffs were just around the corner, and we were in, barely.

There wouldn’t normally be much doubt. Petrov would be in net, since Mitchell had gotten the last start and he was our backup.

If it wasn’t for the news JJ had been given last night, the starting lineup would be me, Deek and Oppy with Cooper and JJ defending.

But JJ would be on a plane to BC, so there’d be some shakeup on the D-line.

Had the press heard about the passing of JJ’s grandmother?

I finished my warm-up on the bike and came back into the locker room beside Fitch. He pressed an arm across my chest to hold me back.