Page 28 of Playoff (Toronto Blaze #4)

My ‘Sex with Alek’ bingo card

Alek

I was going to get a hard-on for granny panties after sex with Jess. When she was dressing I wanted to ask her if I could keep them, but how weird would that be? I didn’t keep souvenirs. Just, this couldn’t happen again, and I wanted something to remember it by.

The kind of loyalty she had with her brother?

I was jealous. I didn’t know if it was the twin thing but I’d never had that kind of connection with my sister.

I’d never had it with anyone. And now it was one more reason Jess and I couldn’t hook up again.

Couldn’t even let on we knew each other as more than incidental acquaintances on the periphery of our lives.

I didn’t want this to be over. Not yet. Jess didn’t look like she was interested in another round, however. She’d scrambled into her clothes, including those boring panties, and wouldn’t meet my eyes.

Regret. She might claim it was some of the best sex of her life, and I’d agree with her, but it wasn’t enough. Nothing I had was enough.

I shoved those dark thoughts aside and followed her out of the room to the elevator. She hung out by that same boring painting while I returned the key card, and then we had nothing to do but wait for the valet to bring the car around.

It was a quiet ride back to Toronto. Traffic was almost gone, and what remained was mostly people leaving downtown. The G-Wagon behaved beautifully, but I was more aware of the quiet woman sitting beside me.

“Could you let me off at the doors?”

“The elevator doors?” So she could take the first car up and not spend another minute with me?

“The front doors. Just in case…”

Right . Just in case her brother was wandering through the lobby of the building. Or was parking in the garage at the same time as we pulled in. This felt wrong on so many levels. Like I was cheating on a teammate. I’d never done that, but this was close.

Without a word, I stopped in front of our building.

She got out of the car and slammed the door behind her.

I should have driven into the underground parking, but I was too unsettled and there was no one I could talk to.

Instead, I pulled out into traffic, and for an hour just drove mindlessly.

I didn’t care where I went, but I needed time and space before I went back to the condo.

It was late when I finally parked. Late for a hockey player in the season, but I was optimistic about sleeping, at least. I didn’t hear another car in the garage until I was standing by the elevators, and someone walked up beside me.

JJ. Shit.

I expected silence, like his damned electric car. He wasn’t a big talker at the best of times, and he wasn’t a fan of mine.

“Thank you.” His quiet voice broke into the random echoes of the garage.

For a brief moment, I thought he’d somehow found out about what Jess and I had been doing, but I couldn’t imagine him thanking me for it. That would be more likely to get me a punch in the face.

I turned to him, frowning. “What for?”

He met my eyes for a moment, then looked back at the elevator, which was finally approaching our parking level. “The name thing.”

“Oh, right.” The elevator dinged and the doors slid open. We both stepped in, hitting the buttons for our respective floors. “Not a problem.”

“We’re still adjusting, so things were kind of messy today. But having the guys call you Alek did help keep me out of my head and the problem I have with your family. I wanted you to know I appreciate it.”

“All I’m doing is answering to my own name. The rest of the team—they’re doing most of the work.” They obviously valued JJ and wanted him playing at his best.

He looked at me again. “It’s a good group, the Blaze. I’m glad to be playing for them. I kinda hope you’re here after the trade deadline.”

The doors slid open for my floor. I got out, managing a nod but nothing else.

Damn it, I didn’t want to be traded, not now. This team—they were different. I liked playing here. I’d almost forgotten that the Blaze might decide I wasn’t needed, if the team wasn’t making the playoffs.

JJ might not have meant to, but he’d gotten me. I could only imagine what he’d do if he ever learned about Jess and me.

Jess

I’d been in Europe when everything blew up in our lives. At that point, I’d loved my brother but I’d mostly been concerned about my own life. He had hockey and Mia and was all set. I was still figuring out what I would do.

But that had changed after I returned. When I saw the mess my parents’ risk-taking had made of our lives and what it had done to my twin.

I’d felt small, petty, when JJ was sacrificing to keep us afloat.

I’d sworn I’d make it up to him. I wouldn’t be selfish, the way our parents were.

Unfortunately, that meant I had ten years of repressed selfishness stored up, and Alek had uncorked it all.

After Hamilton, I promised myself I was done.

We were done. Also, I would never go to that hotel again.

Checking out after a two-hour stay with no luggage?

Yeah, they knew exactly what we were doing.

Probably thought one of us was married and cheating.

In a way, I kind of was, but I didn’t follow that train of thought since it was getting a little incesty.

I wasn’t breaking a marital vow, but one that was just as important to me.

When I got to the condo, Justin wasn’t back yet but he pinged to let me know he would be home a bit later. I’d texted him that I’d been with a friend, and I guess that was true? We’d shared secrets and body parts, so friend wasn’t a stretch.

Except no more meetups, since they always led to us sleeping together.

Alek was hot and the sex was fantastic, but I wasn’t sure just how much it would damage my relationship with Justin, let alone how my parents would respond.

Would it affect the team? They’d just started winning.

Upsetting team chemistry could put them on a losing streak again.

I kept repeating this, but my subconscious wasn’t listening.

The next couple of nights, I dreamt of those two times we’d been together and built up a whole playlist of new possibilities.

Nights of frustrating dreams made me tense and snappy at work.

I knew I was doing the right thing, avoiding Alek, but my willpower was weakening.

I’d pulled out my phone to block his number so many times, but it was still there.

Then I got the text. Fortunately I was in my room, not out in the living room with my brother who was of course watching a hockey game.

K: Fitch is out on a date tonight.

Me: Good. I hope he has a wonderful time.

The guy was divorced, and Katie wanted to find him someone—she liked him. She’d checked in case I’d be interested, but I’d told her that dating a teammate of my twin’s was asking for trouble. I rolled my eyes at myself. At the time, I’d meant it too.

K: Just saying. If you want to prove you have sexy underwear…

Me: I’ll send you a photo.

K: You’re going to send me photos of you in sexy underwear? How very daring.

Me: Who said I’d be in them?

I was smiling widely, enjoying teasing him.

K: If you’re not in them, how can you prove they’re yours?

I could think of lots of ways. Spread them out on my bed, in my room. Of course, he’d never seen my room so that wouldn’t be much proof. I could show my drawer, with the boring but comfortable pairs he’d seen. Would he remember my boring panties? Was there anything that would show they were mine?

I could put them on. I only had a couple of pairs since I didn’t have an exciting sex life, and a red lace push-up bra and panty set was the furthest thing from practical and comfortable that I owned. I’d bought them, what, three years ago for a date? That hadn’t turned out well.

Maybe I could do a picture. If the selfie cut off my head, then no one would know it was me. I definitely didn’t want to have an identifiable picture of me in sexy clothing on Alek’s phone. There were too many ways that could go wrong. I hadn’t sent a sexy photo to anyone since…well, ever.

It wasn’t fair that what had happened in the past had caused so much fallout, not just for my family, but for Alek too. Why were we, the victims of the crime, the ones paying the price? He deserved better. And so did I.

I was still staring at my sexy underwear instead of shutting the drawer. I wanted to surprise Alek. Keep him on his toes. I wanted to be fun . But what if someone identified me from the photo? Even without my face, it was possible. And that would be worse—permanently available online.

That was my excuse anyway when I stripped down, removing my comfortable undergarments and putting on the red lace.

I dressed again and left, telling Justin I was meeting friends.

I expected him to question me about it, afraid that somehow the red lace would blaze out through the two layers of clothing I had over it.

I couldn’t even pretend I was just going to “surprise” Alek and not stay for sex.

This really had to be the last time. But I didn’t want the guy who’d given me the hottest sex of my life to only remember the boring underwear.

I wanted him to remember me, like I knew I would remember him, in the best possible way.

I pulled on my coat and boots, as if I was really going outside on a February night, and then rode the elevator down to the lobby before going back up.

In case Justin stepped out of the condo for something and saw the numbers stop on Alek’s floor.

Paranoid much? Why was I doing something that obviously was so wrong?

Then I got out a floor below Alek’s and climbed up the stairs, arriving hot and sweaty at his place. I hadn’t thought this through very well.

He opened the door wearing sweatpants and nothing else. Bare chest and bare feet. Intimate, almost more than our hookups. A glance down gave me a good idea he was going commando in those sweats. I shivered.

“This can’t keep happening,” I explained.

“But you’re here.”

I sighed. “Last time. I swear it.”

He grabbed my hand and pulled me in. “I know, I get it. This is bad for me too. Your brother is trying to get along with me, and I really don’t want to mess up team chemistry.”

“Then why did you text me?”

He didn’t answer, just reached down and kissed me. Gently and sweetly, which wasn’t how I thought of him. I pushed up on my toes and wrapped my arms around his neck, and the kiss turned molten.

He stepped back, breathing hard. “That’s why. What the fuck is it with you?”

I was gasping for breath as well. “I don’t know, but it works both ways.”

He rubbed a hand over his head. “Okay, this has to be it. We’ll just do everything we haven’t yet, and then we’re done.”

I nodded slowly. That was a good plan. Get rid of any last traces of this attraction and close the box.

Everything we haven’t done yet. I’d been dreaming up a list. My eyes dropped to where he obviously was getting hard. That was something I’d missed out on. He’d gone down on me, but… Time to mark off that square on my Sex with Alek bingo card.

I dropped to my knees. Alek drew in a sharp breath, but as I reached for his waistband he grabbed my hand and pulled me to my feet.

“No?” I was surprised, because what guy didn’t like blow jobs?

“Not here.” He turned and led me to his room.