Page 30 of Playoff (Toronto Blaze #4)

The only Denbrowski

Alek

I refused to indulge in guilty feelings at practice the next day.

Jessica was allowed to sleep with who she wanted to.

We were being discreet, so as not to upset her brother, but I wasn’t harming her.

We both had a good time, neither thought it was more than it was, and it would end. No, it was already ended.

But to make sure I wasn’t on the trading block, I played nice in practice. Lots of passing, fewer shots taken on my own. I played as defensively as I could when we skirmished.

The team was heading out on the road tomorrow.

Winnipeg, Calgary, Edmonton and Vancouver.

The good part of that was not having to cross the border.

When I came back I wouldn’t have anyone checking again on whether my family had contacted me.

The downside was that most of those cities were fucking cold.

We lost in Winnipeg by one goal. And yeah, my fault.

I should have passed to Deek but I thought I had the shot.

Coach reamed me out, but we won in Calgary and Edmonton and I got three goals between the two games.

I had two assists as well and blocked a shot in our end.

I was a fucking team player, for those games at least.

Vancouver reminded me of Jess, since I knew she was from there and her family lived in the area.

I overheard her brother explain to Cooper that he was going to visit their grandmother.

I sent Jess a message about that. As soon as I hit send, I knew it was stupid.

JJ would tell her about it himself. I wasn’t supposed to be keeping in touch with her anyway.

She’d probably removed my contact information by now. But she responded.

Trouble: I’m glad he’s getting to see her. Do you know if my parents are coming to the game?

Me: No, why?

Not like JJ was telling me his private business.

Trouble: If they’re there, they’ll either ask him for money for something stupid or make him feel guilty for not giving them money for something stupid.

Was there any way I could find out?

Me: Want me to ask around?

Trouble: No, that would be weird. They probably asked him for tickets, and he won’t tell me. I can ask Cooper to run interference.

Of course the team captain was the guy to deal with this.

Cooper would, but it bugged me. My parents were shitty, but it still troubled me when other people’s were.

And knowing JJ’s story, which he would fucking hate, made it worse.

But what could I do? I could imagine how his parents would respond if I shoved my way in.

There were some boos when I skated out onto the ice for the game. I got that sometimes, from people who knew about my parents. I didn’t let it bother me. If they could afford tickets to this game, they weren’t hurting too badly financially.

Still, I was more tense than usual waiting for the puck drop. The Johnsons were probably in the stands, judging me.

Jess was watching the game, wasn’t she? It was her home city.

I couldn’t do this, let the pressure get to me.

Hockey was the one thing I had control over after the mess my family left me in.

I had to focus on playing, on being the best winger I could be, make sure I was still playing next year.

I shoved those distractions to the back of my head, hoping they’d stay there.

I finished the game with two assists, no goals. Coach was pleased, but it felt like I was wearing the wrong skates or pads.

I’d done my cooldown and showered by the time JJ finished with his after-game routine and faced the press.

With no goals and no local connection, I wasn’t of interest to them.

Once I was in my suit, I had the friends-and-family area to go through before leaving.

Not many would be here, not in a different city, but JJ’s parents might be. Jess’s parents.

I turned to my locker, rearranging my stuff. The equipment guys would pack it up for us and get it on the plane tomorrow when we headed back east to Toronto. I tweaked my tie in the mirror, wasting time. Telling myself that doing this was stupid. Finally, JJ was done and headed out the door.

I squared my shoulders. I had no idea what the Johnsons would do, if they were here, but for some reason I wanted to lessen Jess’s worries.

It was maybe a way to reduce the harm my parents had done.

It was little enough—didn’t require my money or any admissions or revealing information I couldn’t provide if my life depended on it.

I stepped out of the locker room and down the hallway.

JJ was standing in front of an older couple.

The right age for his parents, and his mother had the same coloring JJ and Jess shared.

The way JJ stood, shoulders tense and hands balled up, it looked like an uncomfortable meeting.

That ticked all the boxes I’d picked up from conversations with Jess.

I passed close by my teammate. “You catching the bus, JJ?” Most of the team would be eating at the hotel restaurant before retiring for the night. It wouldn’t be a long meal since the time zone lag meant it felt later for us. Even me. I’d finally gotten acclimated to Toronto.

JJ’s head jerked around. “No, Den— Alek. I’ve got plans.”

He didn’t introduce me to his parents. Understandable. But they recognized the name and stared at me.

Mrs. Johnson’s eyes narrowed before she pasted on a wide smile. “You must be Alek Denbrowski.”

“Yes, ma’am.” There was calculation in her eyes.

After what Jess had told me, it wasn’t hard to figure out what she wanted.

She’d invite me to join them and try to grill me for information she could use against me.

I didn’t mind running interference to help ease Jess’s mind, but I wasn’t exposing myself to an inquisition.

The way JJ was tensed up, it wouldn’t help him either.

“Would you?—”

I broke into what would be her invitation. “My apologies for what my parents did. I know your family were among their victims. Your children are fortunate to have better examples of how to treat people.”

She paused, unsure of how to handle an apology combined with a compliment. I’d found it often defused a difficult situation, without opening myself up to admissions of guilt.

“I’m sure you don’t want me bringing up bad memories, but I felt obligated to offer my regrets for their behavior. You have a good evening.”

I continued on my way. Hopefully it would take the Johnsons the whole dinner to come up with a new strategy for taking advantage of me and their children.

The next day, on the plane heading east, JJ stopped by my seat on his way to the head. He didn’t normally acknowledge me, and I wasn’t sure if I’d made things better or worse last night. That happened with good intentions.

“Why did you talk to my parents after the game?” JJ’s voice was low enough that no one else would hear over the sound of the jet engines.

“It was the right thing to do. My parents caused a lot of harm. They’re not taking responsibility for what they did, and I can’t, but at least this acknowledges that what happened was wrong.

” That wasn’t the whole or even biggest part of my reasoning, but I wasn’t telling him I wanted to ease his sister’s worries.

He studied my expression, as if checking my sincerity. I meant what I’d said, but it wasn’t totally altruistic. It was a good way to disarm people, and it made my life easier.

He shook his head. “My parents haven’t gotten over what happened. They wanted me to buddy up to you and try to convince you to reveal something they could use in court. They didn’t think you’d know who I was. Since my cover is blown, they didn’t pressure me last night, so thanks for that.”

“I didn’t do it for you, but glad if it made things easier.”

He shrugged. “For now. After ten years I’m not counting on them changing.”

I got that. They needed a scapegoat, and I was the only Denbrowski nearby. “My parents certainly aren’t.”

“You keep in touch with them?”

I snorted. “The biggest favor they did was take my money with them when they left and never get in touch again. Convinced the cops that I wasn’t in on it.”

His eyes rounded, the way people usually responded when they realized how many bridges my parents had burned.

“What would you do if they did?” It was the first interest he’d shown in anything about me as a person, a teammate, rather than an asshole to avoid.

“No idea. It’s been a long time. Yell at them? Ask them why they did it? I’m pretty sure my phone is still tapped, so they wouldn’t stay on the line long enough to get into an explanation.”

He frowned, like he realized things had also been shitty for me.

Just because I hadn’t been charged didn’t mean I got off scot-free.

“Things went really bad for all of us, Mom and Dad and Jess and me, when your parents left. Still lots of bad feelings. I said I’d try to get past it, but I didn’t try that hard.

” He firmed his chin. “You changed your name to help.”

We’d only been able to get through a couple of games before the league called about the name on my jersey. The team had blamed a nameless equipment guy, and the issue was let go. I was back to wearing the Denbrowski jersey, but the team calling me Alek was habit now.

No one outside of the team appeared to know what it had been about, or I was sure some of the guys we played against would have taken the information and used it against JJ. Teams like LA, who were coming to play in Toronto soon. I wasn’t looking forward to it.

“I’ll do better.” He walked on down the aisle. I stared after him with no idea how to respond.

I was an asshole, I knew that. Partly because of how my life had been messed up by Mom and Dad’s actions. I’d never tried to change, because that shit wasn’t my fault and I needed to protect myself. But maybe if JJ and his twin could try to do better, I should too.

Damn it.