Page 9

CHAPTER 9

AXEL

J ace skated backwards and laughed. Laughed, that fucker.

“What did you say to me?” I bit out.

I lunged for him, and we slammed into each other and the boards, tussling like the idiots we were. I caught the scent of his musky sweat and something spicy, probably shampoo, and it bothered me that I even noticed. The fuck? I thought I had everything under control. Then again, I’d never been alone like this with Jace.

“Go on, hit me,” Jace dared me as I locked eyes with him.

The defiance in his gaze told me he wasn’t bluffing, but his sharp, quick breaths made me think he was all for show. He licked his lips nervously and my eyes caught on his mouth. For a split second, I couldn’t move or speak. I just stared at him like I didn’t know what I was looking at.

“Do it,” he goaded again, and I snapped back to attention.

Hit him? And throw away college and my future? I wouldn’t give him the satisfaction. Instead, I pushed one finger into his chest, or rather his pads, and shook my head.

“You’re not worth it.”

Jace paled, his formerly red cheeks turning almost ghostly white.

“Then back off,” he warned.

I did just that, pushing away from him, wanting to get as far away as possible.

God, I was stupid. If Coach saw this, he’d kick us both off the team.

“Then shut up about my slapshot,” I countered.

There was nothing wrong with it. Nothing. Okay, maybe it was a bit on the slow side, but I was tired, and I was having an off day, and that was it. I’d hardly slept last night, thinking about today. In fact, I’d hardly slept all week knowing I’d be working with Jace. Add to that, an unexpected voicemail from my brother and I was all but ready to pack my bags and leave school for good. Not that I had anywhere to go. I’d have to stick it out here at Sutton until I graduated or got drafted, whatever came first.

“How can you do better if you can’t take criticism?” Jace huffed.

“Look who’s talking.”

“Hey, if there’s something I can do to improve my game, I’ll do it. I want to be the best.”

“And I don’t?” I scoffed.

He shrugged, giving me a cocky smirk.

“Doesn’t seem like it,” he replied. “But then it’s not for me to say.”

“That’s hilarious considering you have opinions on everything.”

Jace mimed jerking off. Part of me wanted to laugh at his antics, but then I remembered who I was talking to. Don’t be fooled. Think about how he treated Preston. Yup, that got my head cleared up quick.

“Grow up,” I growled.

“The same advice applies,” he bit out. “Your follow-through is weak. Something’s holding you back. What the fuck is it? The sooner you figure it out, the better you’re going to play. Not that you’ll ever be as good as me, but that goes without saying.”

“You little shit.”

“Not little.” His eyes filled with a mischievous light. “And you know I’m right.”

Was I holding back? I wanted to argue but something in my gut told me his comment wasn’t totally off base. Then I remembered the way Jace took his shot and compared it to mine. Without other players around, I’d tracked every movement of his long body; from his sneaky footwork to the way he geared up to take his shot. How the fuck did he make things look so easy? The guy’s slapshot was perfection and it grated on my already frayed nerves. Why couldn’t I just let it fly like he did? If I had, I’d be scoring a shit ton more than him. The fact that he’d thought the same and said it out loud made me feel crappier than I already did. And I was itching to wipe that smug-ass expression off Jace’s face.

“I don’t see my players practicing.”

We turned to find Coach standing on the other side of the boards, hands on his hips, staring at us with a disappointed expression. When his gaze veered to the right, I knew that he’d spotted my gloves and stick on the ice. Shit.

Jace didn’t say a word and neither did I. Without pause, I skated off and picked up my stuff.

Focus.

Coach stepped back onto the ice, but he didn’t lay into us like I expected. Still, I was so damn thankful for the reprieve. If someone else was around, anyone, I’d be okay to manage my reaction to Jace.

We practiced our passing drills over and over, and before I knew it, Silas and Finn joined us.

All four of us worked hard, only stopping to hydrate, until Coach let us go an hour later.

Instead of taking a shower in the locker room like I normally did, I changed quickly and headed out. No way was I staying around Jace any longer than I needed to be. I’d clean up back at the dorm.

With a quick goodbye to Finn and Silas, I hauled ass out of the rink and the tension in my chest finally eased.

Until my phone buzzed. I reluctantly glanced at the message, hoping it wasn’t my brother.

It was Preston.

My bestie was texting and calling me less frequently lately and I wondered what was up. Or maybe I was the problem. It didn’t seem like we were BFFs anymore. The longer Preston and I were apart, the less we had to say to each other. He was on the west coast, and I was on the east; he was focused on acting and me on hockey. We had no interests in common anymore. Not school or friends or anything really. Oddly enough, the only link we had was Jace.

Preston: How’s things in Sutton? Are you bored out of your freaking mind?

Bored? I wish.

Axel: No time for that. Just finished practice. Sore and tired as fuck.

Preston: And Jace? Is he still an asshole? Have you talked to him?

The times when Preston did text me, he always asked about Jace. He was weirded out that I was now on the same team as his ex. Not surprising, but there was nothing I could do about it.

Axel: Only when needed and when it relates to the game.

Preston: Really? He doesn’t talk about me?

Axel: I thought you were going to forget about him.

Preston: I have. I just don’t want him spreading rumors about me. If he claims that I hurt him, tell him to fuck off.

That reply made me pause. Preston was in California, why would he care what people here thought about him? And claims about hurting Jace? I thought Jace was the one who hurt him.

Preston: Don’t listen to anything he has to say. Jace is charming when he wants something, but he’s such a liar. He lies about everything.

I should’ve believed my friend, but something about his comments felt off. Everyone at Sutton loved Jace. Dane let it be known several times that there was no one he trusted more as a friend and a teammate, and Dane was, by all accounts, a stand-up guy. Jace, a liar? Given my family history, I had a great radar for bullshit and lies; secrets were our stock-in-trade. But the longer I played with the team and with Jace, the more confused I was about Preston’s history with him. My head told me to be wary of falling for Jace’s charm, but my instincts were starting to fight.

Axel: You need to forget about him. He’s not worth it.

Preston: You’re right. And not the reason I texted. I have BIG news. I know a guy who knows a guy and…he’s getting me a movie audition.

Axel: Holy shit, congrats!

Preston: If this works out, I’m quitting college.

Axel: What? Your parents will flip.

Preston: I don’t care. This is what I want. Nothing’s going to stop me.

Axel: I hope you know what you’re doing.

Preston: I’m going to be a megastar and fuck everyone else.

Axel: Good luck.

Preston: I don’t need it. Later.

Axel: TTYS

I was so busy texting that I wasn’t watching where I was walking and bumped into someone.

“Oof.”

“Sorry,” I replied and glanced up. “Oh, hey.”

Ethan grinned at me.

“Hey yourself, glad to see you’re in one piece. I thought for sure you and Jace would maul each other tonight.”

Mauling made me think of fucking, not fighting, and that train of thought was…disturbing to say the least. I swallowed hard as I remembered the way Jace and I collided on the ice, grappling like angry wrestlers, and of course, the taste of sweat and frustration. My stomach flipped over in the strangest way, and despite the bitter winter air, I was boiling hot again.

“Funny,” I sighed and shook off my unease.

Ethan chuckled. “It’s the truth.”

“Coach was there to play peacemaker. It’s all good.”

I was a pretty good liar myself.

“If you say so,” Ethan nodded. “Where are you off to now?”

“Dorm. I need to shower, eat, and pass out.”

“You sound like a rookie.”

“You add two more hours of ice time to your week and see how you feel,” I snarked.

Ethan wiped his eyes dramatically. “Aw, poor Axel.”

Everyone on this freaking team was a comedian…

I was about to reply to his sarcasm when my phone rang.

“See you around.” Ethan waved and stalked off.

Looking down at my phone with a cautious glance, I wondered who the hell was calling me. I hated talking on the phone. Not that I had anyone to talk to since arriving at Sutton. Except for Ethan’s parties, I didn’t have a full social calendar. Not like Jace.

Stop thinking about him.

Only, it wasn’t a friend calling. It was my brother, Jonas. Not now.

I hadn’t replied to his earlier voicemail, and he wasn’t one to give up. I tapped accept with extreme hesitation, like I was worried about being contaminated.

“What?” I answered.

“Nice to talk to you too, Ax.”

The sound of my brother’s voice had me shivering in the worst way and I started walking again, desperate to get rid of the feeling.

“You never call me unless you want something. What is it?” I bit out.

That sounded harsh but it was the truth. We had nothing to say to each other. My brother was two years younger than me, but we could’ve been ten or twenty years apart for all we had in common. He was smarter, got perfect grades without effort, and always knew just what to say to get his way. Especially with my mother. Our parents picked a favorite early on, and Jonas was it. He was popular in school, invited to every party, and the center of attention. I could never measure up to him. And when I found hockey, I didn’t need to. It was the one thing that was mine, and that even Jonas couldn’t compete with or take away. Still, always being made to feel like I was the screwup of the family messed with my head. You’d think I’d be jealous of Jonas, but I wasn’t. The opposite, in fact, because for years I was confused as to why he hated me when I’d done nothing to warrant it.

The reason only became clear last year when I discovered that he was my half brother. The reason I used as leverage to get the fuck out of Redgewick.

“How’s college? And hockey?” he asked. “Still coming in second best?”

My footsteps faltered at his dig, but I kept walking.

“You have three seconds before I hang up,” I replied, my heart hammering in my chest.

Whatever was about to come out of Jonas’s mouth was not going to be good.

“I need money,” he hissed.

I bit out a laugh. “Be serious.”

“I can’t ask Mom or Dad. They’ve cut me off.”

“The fuck you say.”

Even if my parents had cash flow problems, they’d find a way to give Jonas what he wanted.

“It’s true,” he whined.

Jonas blew a lot of money on drugs. If it came in a pill, he was popping it. He also loved to gamble so if there was a bet to be made, he was placing it. My parents looked the other way. If Jonas was happy, they were happy.

“What do you need it for?”

I don’t know why I asked, because I already knew the answer. There was a pause on the other end of the line, then a sharp inhale.

“What does it matter? You don’t give a shit anyway. Just lend me the money and I’ll pay you back in a month.”

“Are you using again?”

“It’s under control. And don’t act pious. You get high too.”

“Not every day,” I sighed. “How much do you need?”

“Five grand.”

Jesus Christ.

“You can’t be serious.”

“I don’t buy cheap shit and I owe some guys for a party last month. Plus, I have a poker debt to pay off. Now, are you going to give me the money or what?”

I sighed.

“Fine. But that’s it. I don’t have any more to give you.”

“Yeah, right.”

“I’m serious. I’ve got enough to cover my expenses until I graduate, but that’s it. Mom and Dad have no more cash to pass out.”

“You’re lying. They have a shitload of money, tons of it.”

That’s what it looked like on the surface.

“Next time you need a loan, ask one of your friends.”

“College hasn’t changed you, Ax. You’re still the same bastard that you always were.”

“Maybe you’re the one who’s the asshole? You ever think about that?”

Then I hung up. I tapped on my phone again and logged into my bank account, transferring the money to Jonas as requested. For a second, I considered ignoring him, but I knew that wouldn’t work. He’d keep calling and texting until he got what he wanted. He was completely relentless and nothing stopped him. Jonas would do anything to get his hands on his next fix. While I knew that his addictions weren’t my problem, part of me felt guilty. Maybe if I’d tried harder when I was younger, if I’d found some way to get through to him, things would be different between us. But I never succeeded. Just like I never fit in with the rest of our family, I didn’t fit in with Jonas.

I was used to being an outsider—at home, at school, and now, in hockey. Suddenly, desperately, I wanted to fit in somewhere, anywhere, and most of all here.

I just didn’t know how.