Page 33

CHAPTER 33

AXEL

A fter Albany, everything changed.

When we got back to Sutton that afternoon, Jace and I parted ways to our respective rooms. I dumped my bag, did a load of laundry, and headed back to Jace’s two hours later. He was still shaken up, and so was I, and the only thing either of us wanted was to hold each other. Between the game yesterday, dealing with my parents, and the news this morning, it was a lot.

We lay on his bed, on our sides, wrapped around each other, face to face, trading sleepy kisses and whispered confessions.

“Total cuddler,” he teased me.

I ran my thumb over those wicked lips of his, and then, not able to resist, I leaned in and planted a resounding kiss on them.

“Maybe I’ll get you a jersey with my number,” he added when I let him come up for air. “But instead of my name, I’ll have ‘Hot Cuddler’ printed on it.”

I bit my lower lip, trying not to smile.

“I’d wear it.”

“Really?”

“For you? Damn right.”

“Now I know that you love me,” he quipped, and suddenly, his eyes widened. “I mean?—”

“Yes,” I said to him, cupping his chin, staring into his eyes.

“Ax.”

“You don’t have to say it,” I whispered against his lips. “But it’s true. You feel it too.”

He nodded and kissed me harder.

I’d do just about anything for Jace, including wearing a jersey with that silly nickname.

Being with him, like this, meant more to me than anything.

We both crashed hard and woke up early Sunday morning with the urge to get back on the ice. Our normal routine helped ease some of the anxiety we were both feeling. Jace texted Silas and Finn and asked if they wanted to join us, but Silas was busy, and Finn didn’t want to get out of bed.

So, an hour later, we made off, trudging through the winter slush that blanketed the campus.

Then we hit the ice, just the two of us.

Only this time, instead of fighting our anger, we fought to keep our hands off each other. It wasn’t easy and the more I watched Jace skate, the more turned on I got.

“Come here,” I said to him as I came to a stop at the blue line.

Jace skated by me instead, giving me a wink, and when he got near the net, took his shot, waving his stick in the air to celebrate.

“Jace.” I removed my glove and motioned with my finger. “Come here.”

I needed to get my hands on him, and I couldn’t wait another second.

But my boyfriend loved nothing better than teasing me, skating slowly this time, coming towards me like he had all the time in the world. I pushed off and met him halfway, yanking on his jersey until there was no space between us, both of us panting and sweaty and with big fucking grins on our faces.

Right there, on the rink, under blinding fluorescent lights, and surrounded by air so cold you could see our breaths, I kissed Jace.

I forgot about where I was. Everything, except him.

I tasted his smile and there was nothing better.

“Rowland, Lund!” Coach’s voice suddenly rang out. “My office, now!”

Fuck.

We pulled apart and when I glanced around, Coach was standing on the other side of the boards, staring at us, his permascowl in place. He stalked off before I could think of something to say.

My first thought was, what the hell was Coach doing here on a Sunday morning ? And then, shit, we’re in trouble. But, then again, we hadn’t done anything wrong.

Instead of freaking out, Jace and I skated off the ice and trudged down the hallway to Banning’s cramped, drafty office.

“Close the door,” Banning said as we entered.

“Look, Coach, we?—”

He shook his head, and I knew better than to say anything.

“I guess I don’t need to ask how the extra practice is going. Or, the fundraising event.”

Well, we did have work to do on the event. We’d been neglecting it, but we’d get to it.

Eventually. When we finally took our hands off each other.

I took a seat and rubbed my suddenly sweaty palms against my breezers. Oh man, this was more difficult than I thought. Coming out to myself was one thing, but saying it out loud?

“Jace and I are sleeping together.”

Once again, I was the master of subtlety.

Coach was silent and still. I looked at Jace, who was fighting a smile and shaking his head.

“What?” I asked.

“Maybe use a little more finesse next time,” Jace replied, the edge of his lips curled up.

“It is what it is. We’re boyfriends,” I stated bluntly. “We’re together, as in having se?—”

“Okay, Lund,” Coach held his hand up. “I get it. Well, I don’t, because I thought you two couldn’t stand each other, but what do I know? Hockey’s my specialty, not human relations.”

“I’m going to come out to the team,” I offered. “But given my past behavior when it came to Maddox and Kayden, I’d like to tell them first. Dane already knows.”

Banning sighed and rubbed a hand over his head.

“This concerns me,” Coach started. “Not just because of how you’ve acted around each other since September but the fact that you often play the same line. That’s a lot of pressure for any player, and at this level, even more so. How are you going to cope with that? Axel, I know you were angry about my decision to name Jace center, and, Jace, sometimes your temper runs just as hot. Throw in a relationship, and we’re talking about a lot of emotions.”

“I know I wasn’t ready for that role,” I admitted, my face flushing hot. “I just didn’t want to accept it. Maybe I will be, someday, but not yet. I’ve still got work to do when it comes to my confidence and my game.”

That wasn’t easy to admit, not about myself, and not about Jace. But it was the truth.

Coach glanced at Jace.

“We can do this. I can do this,” Jace replied. “I can separate the personal from the game. It’s why you trust me as the center. I swear, Axel and I are good. Well, better than good, obviously.”

Jace and I shared a heated look and it had me swallowing hard.

Banning steepled his hands together and leaned forward on his desk.

“Personally, it’s none of my business, but professionally, if your relationship affects the team, it is. Stick to your job when you step into this rink. That means no personal stuff while you’re in uniform, got it?”

“Yes, Coach,” we answered in unison.

“Even at practice,” he emphasized. “Like today.”

“Yes, Coach,” we repeated.

He motioned to the door.

“Go on. Get. And send me an update on the fundraiser first thing Monday morning,” he added. “And don’t say ‘yes, Coach’, just go.”

Relieved, I got up and headed for the door first, opening it for Jace.

“I think that went well,” I whispered when we finally hit the hallway and were alone again.

“Are you sure?” Jace leaned in. “That’s not exactly how I pictured Coach finding out about us. I mean, are you okay after that talk?”

I nodded. “I feel relieved. No more hiding.”

“You heard what he said though. Are you sure you’re going to be able to resist me in uniform?”

I returned Jace’s smile.

“That, I don’t know.”

I made big decisions this week and felt like I was finally coming into my own.

I texted Kayden later that day and asked him and Maddox to meet up with me, Jace, and Dane in my room. After everyone settled down with a soda and a slice of pizza, I was ready to tell them about me and Jace. And to apologize to my teammates, yet again.

Maddox seemed shocked by the news, but Kayden, not so much.

“So, this is the one?” Kayden said to Jace with a knowing smile.

Jace nodded.

“You told him?” I asked as I took hold of his hand.

“Not the details, but yeah,” Jace replied. “Just before the game Friday.”

“He’s crazy about you,” Kayden added.

“Same goes,” I confirmed and kissed Jace.

“Shit, you guys are hot together,” Kayden announced. “Ouch. Mad. Not the sharp elbow.”

“Really, Kay?” Maddox hissed.

“I’m just saying, you know.” Kayden blushed. “Look at them. It’s a fact.”

Dane nodded. “He’s right.”

That didn’t seem to help Maddox’s mood at all.

“You know I only have eyes for my Bee,” Kayden added as he pulled Maddox into his side, kissing his temple.

“Not in front of everyone,” Maddox grumbled.

But he didn’t pull away from Kayden and the look that passed between them had me reaching for my drink.

An awkward silence fell, and I put a protective arm around Jace.

“About what happened back in January with Coach—” I started.

Maddox’s glare cut me off. “You’ve apologized ten times already. Enough. Let’s move on.”

“But—”

“You can clean my stinky equipment for the rest of the semester if it makes you feel better,” Maddox snarked.

“Bee,” Kayden warned.

“I said, if it makes him feel better.”

“What my boyfriend is trying to say is, we accept your apology,” Kayden replied. “And we’re really looking forward to getting to know you as a friend, not just a teammate.”

Dane held up his soda and we all did the same.

“I second that.”

The next day, I transferred all but a few hundred dollars back to my parents as they requested.

Oddly enough, I was okay about it. I wouldn’t have guilt about cutting off contact with them after this and if my brother called asking for more money, I’d have nothing to loan him. Or, give him. He’d never paid me back anyway.

Once that was done, I headed into town and visited Boots n’ Burgers. Not to eat, but to ask for a job. Thankfully, Phoenix told me he was always looking for wait staff for the weekend shifts, so I managed to snag a spot, and with the promise of full-time hours when the summer hit. Which worked out great, since I had no intention of going back to Redgewick this summer. Or, as I told my parents, at all.

But I couldn’t afford next year’s tuition fees on minimum wage and tips. I was on the lookout for another gig, even though I wasn’t sure yet what that would look like. Something, anything to get me through to my twenty-first birthday and my trust fund. In the meantime, I sold some of my stuff online; clothing, watches, and expensive shit that I was gifted for show but that I didn’t need. I pocketed five grand in cash. It wasn’t enough, but it would get me through the next few months, until this semester was done.

After that, well, I had to have faith in myself that I’d find a way.

Knowing how Jace struggled growing up, I figured a year of financial hardship was nothing. I was never big on material stuff anyway. Another reason I didn’t fit in at home. Any money I had, I spent on hockey. But, except for the basics, I was putting myself on a strict no-buy policy.

The only exception was Jace.

I hadn’t been kidding when I said I ordered him a jersey. It arrived the week after our trip to Albany, and just in time for our first official date.

But life, like hockey, is full of sudden shifts.

Just when I thought I had an advantage, I got hit.