Page 10

CHAPTER 10

JACE

THE NEXT DAY

I was halfway through my anatomy 201 class when my phone buzzed. A couple of students turned to stare at me and the teacher stopped talking.

“What did I say about phones in the classroom?” Professor Mulligan barked.

“It won’t happen again,” I called out apologetically.

But I left the phone on my lap and surreptitiously tapped on my email. It was a note from Coach Banning about the spring fundraising event. I needed this added stress like I needed a fucking puck to my head. When I read through the entire email, I realized that this volunteer thing was going to take more than one or two hours a month. It was probably more like one or two hours a week and that meant even more time spent with Axel. Hockey was one thing. At least we had Coach or Silas or Finn to keep us from imploding. This? How the hell were we gonna navigate this? And we could not screw up. Coach would be watching, the school too, and fuck, even the mayor of the town.

I could do this. It would be fine.

Without pause, I texted Axel, since Coach included his contact information to ensure nothing would be left undone. We had to set up a time where we could meet and discuss how we were going to divide up the work for this event. I expected him to reply, but I did not expect him to reply right away.

Jace: We need to meet in person to discuss the fundraiser.

Axel: The only days that work for me are Monday evening or Sunday morning.

Jace: Fuck Sundays, we need one day to sleep in. Monday it is.

Axel: It won’t interfere with your hookups?

Jace: We all need a day off. FYI, I don’t fuck everyone on campus. And even if I did, don’t slut shame me.

Axel: Don’t be so touchy.

Jace: Around you? No thanks.

Axel: Monday at seven. The game room at the dorm or the pub in town?

Jace: Pub. The school can at least comp us a meal.

Axel: Are you sure you want to be seen with me in public? Wouldn’t want to ruin your reputation.

Jace: According to you it’s already shit, so what does it matter?

Axel: Is this what it’s going to be like on Monday or are we actually gonna get stuff done?

Jace: You got the email from Coach. Set up a plan and we can discuss it.

Axel: Me? Why don’t you do it?

Jace: Aren’t you used to attending all these fancy ass socials? This event should be right up your alley.

Axel: I hate that shit. But since I don’t fuck away my responsibilities, fine, I’ll do it. You just show up and act pretty.

Jace: Didn’t think you’d noticed.

I didn’t get any response after that.

“Mr. Rowland?” Professor Mulligan bellowed.

My head shot up and I stared at my teacher, my face burning hot.

“Yes, sir?”

“If you do not put your phone away, I will confiscate it, and I won’t return it for an entire week. Are we clear? Do you understand, or do I need to put it in writing to your advisor?”

“Understood, sir. My apologies.”

There was a ripple of laughter in the room from my fellow students, but Mulligan’s glare put a stop to it pretty quick.

Like I did when I was playing hockey, I put my conversation with Axel out of my head and focused on what I had to do right here and now, which was not pissing off my teacher. Any more than he already was. The last thing I needed was an extra assignment or getting my marks docked.

When class ended, I headed over to the library. I had an hour of free time before my next class and I needed a quiet place to study.

On my way there, I ran into Hailey. This day was just getting better and better…

“Hey, Jace, where are you off to?” She reached for my arm and gripped me tightly. “You want some company?”

“Not today. I’ve got to get some studying in before I head to my next class.”

“What about later?” Hailey smiled knowingly. “I could stop by your room?”

She was a beautiful girl and a lot of fun in the bedroom, but I had no interest in taking things any further. Or spending more time with her. Outside of casual flirting, I didn’t see the point. We had nothing in common except sex. Which was great, but strangely enough, not enough to make me want her again. In fact, when I thought about any conversation we’d had, it was always about, or leading to, fucking. Otherwise, we’d had nothing to say to each other. And my interactions with her seemed so boring in comparison to…

No. Fuck no. Don’t even think about Axel.

I hoped like hell I wasn’t coming down with a bug or something because I felt off.

“What about tomorrow?”

I sighed, wanting out of this conversation. Like, now. It was shitty, but I couldn’t help it.

“Sorry.”

“That’s fine,” she replied, her grin cooling. “There are plenty of other hot hockey players around. Like that teammate of yours, Axel.”

My scowl was immediate. She smirked and tossed her hair over her shoulder.

“He’s gorgeous.”

He was something alright. I bit my lip, holding back a response.

“He’s in your dorm, right?”

“Yup,” I replied calmly, despite my heart beating a furious rhythm. “Not sure which room. You can ask around.”

“I’ll do that,” Hailey replied with a firm nod.

“I’ve got to get going,” I repeated and pulled my arm loose.

“Text me later if you change your mind,” she added and stepped back.

“Will do,” I said politely, lying my ass off.

I turned away, relieved, and scampered off as fast as I could. Given the frozen sidewalks, I nearly slipped and forced myself to slow down. The last thing I needed was an injury.

By the time I got to the library, I was half frozen. Instead of taking the elevator, I decided on the stairs, and sighed in relief when my limbs finally defrosted. Making it up to the second floor, I smiled at the clerk at the front desk and asked if there were any private rooms available, but unfortunately, everything was booked up.

I was about to head up to the next level when I spotted Maddox and Kayden heading my way. They waved and wandered over to meet me.

Up close, I noticed that both guys had swollen lips and red cheeks. Jesus.

“Studying hard?” I chuckled.

“Hardly studying,” Kayden replied with a dirty grin.

Maddox groaned and shook his head.

“The library? Seriously?” I asked.

“Don’t knock it,” Kayden replied and tapped my shoulder. “Those private rooms? No windows, no distractions?—”

“No more,” Maddox snarked.

Kayden laughed and ruffled Maddox’s hair, which only made our goalie scowl harder.

“Plus, this place has special meaning for us,” Kayden continued.

Aw. My cynical heart melted. Just a little.

“Kay,” Maddox warned, his face bright red.

“What? It’s true,” Kayden admitted as he stared at his boyfriend. “It was the first time I ever gave you a blo?—”

Maddox quickly slammed his hand over Kayden’s mouth. “Stop.”

“Mrphrm.”

Whatever Kayden was trying to say was muffled and for once, I was glad that Maddox had silenced him. I didn’t need to know any more about my friends’ sex life than I already did.

“That’s so dirty, and at the same time, oddly sweet,” I teased.

“Fuck off,” Maddox growled but it had no impact on me.

We were all used to his attitude by now. Instead, I laughed while he rolled his eyes.

Kayden pulled him in tight, but at first Maddox resisted. Until Kay gave him a resounding kiss, and all seemed to be forgiven. These two…

“Well, okay then, some of us really do have to study, so—” I stated, pointing to the stairs.

Neither one of them paid me any attention since they were too busy sucking face. I didn’t mind though, I was happy for them.

“Talk later,” I added and was met with silence.

I wandered up the stairs to the third floor and the place was packed, but I managed to find an empty nook near the window and settled in. Turning my phone off–for real this time—I shoved it in my pocket, grabbed my headphones from my backpack, and started reviewing my biology notes for my upcoming test. I wasn’t the smartest student but with dedication and hard work, I was going to graduate at the top of my class and ensure my future. Hockey was the primary goal, but it wouldn’t last forever. When I was done playing hockey in the pro league, I’d go back to school for my master’s degree. Kinesiologists could work anywhere, with any athlete, but I’d probably stick to hockey or another professional sport.

And I knew there was no fucking way I was going back to poverty or to Hillington. My aunt Josie had done all she could. She hadn’t graduated from high school and though her body shop kept food on the table, it wasn’t enough. With my career goals firmly in sight, I was going to ensure that as a family, we never had to worry about money again.

After almost an hour of studying, I turned my phone back on and got ready to head out to my next class when I noticed a missed call from my aunt. Speak of the angel. She usually called me on weekends. I hoped everything was alright.

I grabbed my stuff and walked down to the first floor of the building and found a quiet corner, then tapped her number and waited for her to answer.

“Hey sweetie, how are you?” she answered on the first ring.

“I’m good,” I announced. “Great in fact. Just on my way to my next class. How’s things with you? Everything okay at the shop?”

“Everything’s fine. Well, things are a bit slow at the shop, so I figured I’d call early,” she replied. “You didn’t need to call me back right away. I know you’re busy with classes. We can talk later.”

“I’ve got fifteen minutes before my next class. What’s up?”

“I just wanted to check in. See how your classes are going and hockey practice. And if you’re getting along with all your teammates. Are you still arguing with that Lund boy?”

I told my aunt all about Axel when I returned home for the Christmas break. Come to think of it, I probably talked more about him than I did about anything else. I didn’t even want to think about what that meant. Nothing good would come of it.

“He still hates my guts and I’m still better at scoring than he is, so nothing’s changed,” I replied, cocky as ever. “Only?—”

“Only what?” she asked.

“Coach is making Axel and I take extra practice together. It’s torture,” I sighed dramatically. “And that’s not all. I’ve been assigned to work with him on a fundraising event here in Sutton. I have no issue volunteering, but I don’t know how I’m going to work with him . We nearly came to blows on the ice yesterday.”

“Do you mean he tried to hit you?” Josie asked, her voice filled with concern.

“Well, sort of. I kind of provoked him,” I confessed. “And then we just went at each other. It wasn’t all him.”

My face flushed with heat.

“I mean, it wasn’t anything more than grabbing his jersey and trash talking,” I added. “Maybe we wrestled a bit.”

That didn’t sound any better. The image of me and Axel grappling, our bodies so close, all sweaty and frustrated, had my heart beating triple time.

“Jace,” Josie warned.

“I can’t help it. He insults me all the time and I’m not gonna stand there and take it. You know I’m not made that way. And because he’s a Lund, he thinks he’s better than everyone else,” I snapped. “He hardly talks to anyone on the team, not to mention he threatened to out Maddox and Kayden a while back.”

There was a longer pause on the other end of the line.

Josie was calm in situations where I was not. Always level headed. Think, then act. Part of it was her personality but a lot of it had to do with everything she’d been through in her life. She’d taken over my care when she was only a twenty-year-old girl herself. My mom died in an accident and my dad wasn’t in the picture. I couldn’t imagine taking on a child at my age. All that responsibility. Josie grew up fast and sacrificed a lot. Sometimes I forgot that she’d lost everything too when my mom passed.

“He acted like an asshole, that I’ll give you,” she replied. “But you said he apologized to them and is trying to do right. And you know better than to judge someone based on their name or their shitty behavior. You don’t know what he’s dealing with.”

“Some people are just jerks.”

“That’s also true,” she chuckled, and the raspy sound made me homesick. “But remember what we talked about Jace? A lot of times when people lash out, that’s when they’re hurting the most. It sounds like Axel has problems in his life and he just doesn’t know how to deal with them.”

Josie had a point. I didn’t want to admit it, but there was something going on with him.

“You’re probably right. But I have no idea what it has to do with me. Okay, that’s not true,” I paused. “He thinks I’m this awful person. I have no idea what Preston said about me, but I have a feeling he’s gaslighting Axel like he did me. And if that’s the case, how am I going to convince Axel otherwise?”

Josie made a humming sound like she always did when she was pondering something.

“That’s tricky,” she replied. “You’ll probably have to approach this like you’re playing offense. What happens when you’re faced with an opponent that’s out playing you? What do you do?”

“I study them. I watch the tape. Watch them on the ice. Analyze them and figure out the best way to maneuver around them. And then I act. I’ve got to be bold.”

“There you go. You need to watch and listen. Don’t just argue with him. Listen to what he’s saying, and maybe what he’s not. And then you need to be up-front about what happened between you and Preston. If he doesn’t believe you, he doesn’t believe you, but at least you tried. You’ve been carrying around that secret for a while now. Maybe it’s time you let more people know what really happened.”

“I told Dane and that was enough. You know that I don’t like talking about it.”

“I do know that. And I know that there was stuff that you shared with your therapist that you didn’t want to share with me, and that’s fine. If you were talking to someone you trusted, and you were okay, I was okay. I just don’t wanna see you hurt yourself like that again,” she paused. “Have you been alright lately? Do you need to talk to your therapist?”

“I…I don’t know. Maybe,” I admitted, lowering my voice. I ran one agitated hand over my head. “Before my practice with Axel last night, I sat in the bathroom for a while and contemplated making myself sick. I didn’t do it, but the urge was strong. Just when I think I have everything under control, I don’t.”

“Says every adult every day,” she confessed. “Don’t ignore the warning sign. Call your therapist.”

“I will,” I promised.

“You’re doing so well, sweetie, and I’m so proud of you. And I’m just a phone call away. You’re not alone. Remember that. You are never alone.”

Axel’s troubled blue eyes came to mind.

No, I never felt alone. But I was starting to think that maybe Axel did. And why that bothered me, I didn’t even want to think about.