Page 9 of Perfectly Us

“Man, your dad would kill you if he knew you were smokin’ pot.”

I hold up a finger. “First of all, I didn’t smoke it.” I put up a second. “Second of all, when I see a brownie, I eat it. It’s not my fault that Dylan failed to mention it was a pot brownie when we went over to his house.”

“Then you went online shopping while stoned out of your mind.” Ruben grabs a bottle of cologne off his dresser and sniffs it before spraying it twice on his shirt. “If you drink tonight, I’m taking your phone. Who knows what you’ll buy next.”

“Probably a baby tiger. Wouldn’t that be badass?”

“Will you open your own zoo?”

“Hell yeah. I might record a country album too.”

Ruben rolls his eyes. “You hate country music.”

“I don’t know. Give me another pot brownie, a guitar, and a baby tiger, and I might feel inspired.” I scroll through my Facebook, liking posts and commenting. Social media is a huge part of my life. Probably too much so but whatever. “Oh, Melody just posted a selfie.”

“What? Let me see.” Ruben plops down beside me, the mattress bouncing with the action. He grabs my phone and whistles under his breath. “Damn, she’s fine as hell. If she’s wearingthatto my party, my heart will explode.”

“You sure it won’t be something else that explodes?”

He shoves me away before examining the photo closer.

Melody’s a good-looking girl, long pretty brown hair, big brown eyes, and a nice rack—as Ruben likes to point out all the time. They’ve flirted back and forth for the past few months but haven’t hooked up. Tonight’s the night, Ruben said earlier. I hope it works out for him.

“You just got a text,” he says. “From Shiloh.”

I perk up and grab for my phone, but he holds it out of my reach.

“Dude, give it to me,” I say, reaching for it again.

He holds it farther away. “What will you give me in return?”

“Well, I would say a blowjob, but you don’t swing that way.”

Ruben laughs. Hard. And tosses me the phone.

I open the text, probably too excited for my own good.

Shiloh:Hey. Is that party still happening tonight?

“Oh my god, he’s asking about the party.”

Ruben slaps a hand to his chest and speaks in a higher pitch, “Oh my god.”

I elbow him in the ribs.

Me:Yeah! It is. You change your mind????

“Can you add any more question marks?” Ruben asks, reading over my shoulder. “I bet he can smell your desperation through the phone.”

Shiloh:I have to work until 9. If that’s not too late?

Me:Not too late at all! The party will just be getting started by then. Last time Ru threw a party, I didn’t pass out until like 4 am lol

“Yeah, you passed out on Mateo,” Ruben says. “After fucking him inmybed.”

I push him away, my face getting hot. “I’m sure as hell not gonna tell Shilohthat.”

“Whore.”