Page 86 of Perfectly Us

I call Ruben, and he says he’s with Melody. I don’t tell him the reason I called. Instead, I tell him to have a good night, and then I take off down the road. As I follow the narrow street toward the main part of town, I roll down the windows and breathe in the summer air.

I want to sob like a baby.

I want to scream until my throat bleeds.

Just like how Shiloh blocked out that letter he wrote to his dad, I think I’ve blocked out things too. Like if I shoved them to the furthest reaches of my mind, I wouldn’t have to face them. My mom treating me like a stranger. My dad wishing I was “normal.”

My big brother not being here anymore.

“Stay strong, Al,”Clay used to tell me.

“I’m trying,” I say to the empty seat beside me. “I just wish you were here.”

I find myself at Shiloh’s house fifteen minutes later. Even without a destination in mind, I drove to him. It was automatic.

Landon answers the door, takes one look at me, and invites me inside. I manage to get a few words out when Shiloh asks me what’s wrong, but it’s hard to say much. My chest hurts too much. We go up to his room and lie in his bed, him holding me, his fingers playing with my hair.

“Can I stay the night?” I ask, a lump in my throat.

Shiloh holds me closer. “Of course.”

He has a way of calming the bad things in my head.

Chapter Eighteen

Shiloh

“You’re really going to move out?” Alex asks, sitting on my bed crisscross. He’s stayed with me for the past two days, not wanting to be at home. I don’t blame him. His parents are kind of toxic.

“Yep.” I scroll through my phone, looking at the apartment complexes listed on the site. “Just trying to find a place in my budget.”

“Can Jesse help you? He’s a Realtor.”

“He deals with buyers. I’m only wanting to rent.” I fall back against Alex, my head going in his lap. He pokes the center of my forehead, and I grin up at him. “Are you excited about moving into the dorms?”

My stomach tightens at the thought of him starting college next month and what that could mean for us. But I try to lock that away for now.

“Hell yeah. Ruben and I are gonna be roommates. Pretty sure he’ll kill me after a week.”

“Eh.” I shrug. “I think he’ll last at least two.”

“One and a half.” Alex bends down and gives me a quick kiss on the lips. “Hey. So while you were at work, I did some research.”

“About how to dispose of a body?”

“No. I already know how to do that, you silly boy.” He grabs his phone and taps the screen a few times. “I’m sending you a link.”

“Is it porn?”

“No. But I totally fapped to a video once of a dude fucking a tentacle monster thing that you need to watch sometime.”

“You like tentacle porn?” I lower my phone from where I’m scrolling through way-too-expensive duplexes and arch a brow at him. “Why doesn’t that surprise me?”

“Stay with me and you’ll learn all kinds of awesome things.”

“I have no doubts.” I nuzzle the bottom of his belly and bite at his shirt. My phone vibrates with a text, and I check it. “What is it?”

“Read and find out.”