Page 49 of Perfectly Us

“You’re crazy about me?”

“Um.” Alex gapes at me. “I invoke the right to protect me from self-incrimination.”

“Too late for that,” I say, fighting a smile.

He winks before ducking down in the water, submerging his entire body. When he comes back up, his hair slings water. He wipes his face, then grins at me. “You look too dry. I think you need to be dunked.”

“Huh? No way.”

Alex releases what sounds like a battle cry before jumping on me. We both go under the water, and beneath the surface, his lips brush against mine. My heart flutters. Warms.

I slant my mouth over his and return the kiss, my hands skimming along his bare sides.

When we come back up, we’re still pressed together, his arms around my neck and mine at his waist. He rests his forehead to mine as he takes a breath. I take one too, but it’s shaky.

“I’ve never kissed anyone underwater before,” Alex says, playing with the hair at my nape.

“Me either. You’re the only person I’ve ever kissed though.” The only one I’ve ever wanted to kiss.

He pulls back to look at me, water dripping from the tip of his freckled nose. “I’m glad to be your first.”

Tentatively, I kiss him again, our lips softly meeting. He sighs and curls his fingers in the back of my hair, deepening the kiss.

Someone yells, “Get it, boy! Get it!” Sounds like that Tyler guy. Hoots and hollers follow his words.

Alex smiles against my lips but keeps kissing me. My heart’s beating out of my chest, the sound reverberating in my ears. Everything else kind of fades away then. I don’t care if anyone sees me kiss him. I don’t care about anything except how his lips fit to mine.

I may not understand everything yet. But what I know for sure?

Alex is bringing out feelings in me I didn’t know I had.

***

“I’m glad you came today,” Alex says as we sit by the water, towel draped over his shoulders. The sun’s nearly set, the last bit of light slowly fading from the sky. Everyone else has already left, so it’s just me and him.

“Me too. When we first got here, I was nervous seeing so many people. But you were right. Your friends are cool.”

“I’ll have to keep an eye on Tyler.” Alex bumps my arm. “I think he has the hots for you.”

“Whatever.” I shake my head at the ridiculousness of that.

“You only think I’m joking. He likes the shy ones,” Alex says. “He’s also bi.”

“Bi?”

“Bisexual. Both the ladies and the dudes do it for him. He prefers dudes though, I think. It’s like an eighty-twenty kinda thing.”

“I thought it was equal,” I say, not following his meaning.

“Not always. Some people have a preference. Doesn’t make them any less bisexual. It pisses me off when I hear that shit. Like when people say someone isn’t gay or bi enough. No one’s the same.”

“What if you aren’t sure what you are?” I ask, staring out over the darkening water. With the sun setting, the temperature dropped a little. The cool summer night is peaceful. Or it would be if my heart wasn’t going to war in my chest. “What if… you don’t experience things like other people?”

“What kind of things?”

I shrug.

Anxiety wraps around my throat, making it feel tight. My sternum aches too, like someone’s twisting it. Vulnerability is hard for me. And talking about this is like baring my damn soul. Crazy how talking about my mental health was easier than this. Maybe because with my mental health, there’s a semblance of understanding. Other people share those feelings.