Page 52

Xavier

The screen from my phone lights up the otherwise dim nursery. Shifting Holland in my arms to balance her bottle against my chest, I reach for the phone. When I see Vivi's name lighting up my screen anxiety cuts through me because it's three in the morning.

"Vivi. Is everything okay?" Her face is barely illuminated by the light from her phone, but it's enough that I can see she's smiling and happy. Somehow she looks lighter, more carefree than I think I've ever seen her.

"Mhmmm," she murmurs, sounding sleepy. "I just missed you." There's a drawn out yawn before she adds, "I couldn't sleep. Not without hearing your voice."

I hear it there at the end, a tiny slur in her words. "We talked earlier," I remind her. "Did Harlowe let you drink too much wine?"

"Actually I blame my mom," she says slowly.

The mention of her family strikes a nerve. "Did your conversation not go well?"

"Actually, it went okay. I mean it sucked. But we got through it. I needed to get through it. And I think I'm going to be okay," she adds absently. "She just left a bottle with Harlowe and I after we talked."

I try to make out where she is but it's too dark to see beyond her. It's not until she shifts, laying her head on her arm that I see the carpet.

"You're fucking adorable, but why are you lying on the ground?"

"Because it's late. And I wanted to talk to you." She shrugs one shoulder like that explains it. "Is my Estrela eating?" She puts more of an accent on the nickname than normal.

"She is."

"I miss her. I miss you too. How are you doing?"

When we talked earlier I was stressed about the outcome of the hearing, and I knew she could tell.

"Torn. I just want this to be over. But that means Holland doesn't have a mother in her life and even if it's for the best it still hurts." I glance down at her in my arms. "I wish she didn't have to deal with any of this."

"Me too," she says genuinely. "But she's got you. And you have a great support system. Holland will be okay. You'll be okay." Vivi bites her lip like there's more she wants to say.

And from thousands of miles away I'm willing the words out of her.

Say it, sweetheart. Let me hear it.

Her eyes lift to the screen. She might be tipsy but they are clear, filled with meaning when she says, "And you've both got me."

I groan, making Holland startle. "I want to kiss you right now."

"That sounds nice." She sighs. "You're a good kisser. And you're shirtless. That's my favorite way to kiss you."

"No phone sex. I'm right here, Vi," someone says in the background, sounding half asleep.

"Harlowe?" I ask, knowing it's got to be her best friend.

"Nice to meet you, Ginger Daddy," the distant voice answers, making me snort out an unexpected laugh.

Vivi's eyes go wide and the camera shakes as she grabs something out of the picture and hurls at her friend.

"That was our secret," she whispers-shouts, no longer talking to me.

"I'm never getting rid of that nickname, am I?"

Vivi settles back into the crook of her arm, an easy smirk curving her mouth. "Afraid not."

Holland finishes the bottle and I pull it from her slack mouth, propping her my shoulder, watching Vivi practically melt when she sees her propped against my shoulder so I can burp her.

"She's so perfect," Vivi whispers.

"She is, but I've got to get her back to bed," I say, not wanting to hang up even though I need to.

Like she feels the same Vivi says, "We're going to watch your game tomorrow. Can I call you after?"

"I'd be mad if you didn't. Sweet dreams--"

"You guys are giving me a toothache," Harlowe interrupts.

"Night, Harlowe." I chuckle.

Vivi yawns, this one deeper than the last. Like she's fighting sleep now. "Give her a kiss for me. I hope she lets you sleep until morning now."

We hang up and I put Holland back down for the night.

The four month sleep regression has been a bitch, but talking to Vivi makes the exhaustion I know I'll be feeling tomorrow a little less daunting. Seeing her was exactly what I needed. She didn't say much about the conversation with her mom, but what she gave me told me everything.

She found what she was looking for in California.