Page 29

Vivienne

There's a knock on my window that has me nearly jumping through the roof of my car. Exhaling deeply I turn to find Poppy looking amused and adorable. She's decked out in the cutest, two piece, red gingham set looking ready to celebrate the holiday.

"You look like you're about to bolt." Her voice is muted by the glass between us, but the message comes through loud and clear.

The thought had crossed my mind. "It's not that I don't want to be here . . ." I step out of the car, joining her in Dom's driveway.

She grins like she's in on a secret. "It's just that you don't want to be here?"

"Kind of. I'm used to being on my own." And honestly intimated, I wouldn't admit it outloud but this day feels like a WAGs only event. And I'm not that.

"You can run and I won't even tell them I caught you."

"No." I roll my eyes, annoyed with myself. "I want to be here, really. It's silly nerves."

"Making friends as an adult is hard. If it gets to be too much, start talking about hippopotamuses and I'll help you fake an emergency."

The absurdity of her suggestion puts me at ease. "Hippopotamuses?"

"Can you think of any real-life situation in which nature's angry marshmallows would come up today?"

"What?" I choke out, now laughing in earnest.

"They're round, squishy-looking, but shockingly ready to charge on a whim--angry marshmallows."

It reminds me of exactly the kind of nonsensical conversation I would have with Tenley. So when Poppy starts walking up the driveway and through the house, I follow her, already less anxious.

"This place is adorable," I comment as she leads me through the kitchen and living room to the back patio.

"Dom is surprisingly domestic," she agrees.

Everyone else is already floating in the pool. The sun is high in the afternoon sky making the pool glitter and the clear view of the mountains a stunning backdrop.

"Holy shit. If I wasn't married already, I'd propose to that bikini," Lilah says when she looks over at me from where she's lounging on a pink floaty. She's the picture of relaxation, her pregnant belly glistening with the sunscreen that she's reapplying.

"I agree. You look like a goddess." Indie hands me a bottle of water and a towel.

"But actually, where did you get it? This baby is making my boobs huge, and that suit is doing things for your girls that would drive Cruz crazy." The slight current in the pool floats her past a sleeping Mia.

"I'll send you the link. There's a blue one that would look amazing with your eyes."

I almost sound like someone who's not emotionally stunted from shutting people out for the last dozen or so years.

Fake it 'til you make it. That's the motto.

Now that Xavier's in my life, I'm doing a lot less faking. And I'm not solely talking about orgasms. There have been more real, cheek pinching smiles in the last few weeks too. They happen first thing in the morning when I find a text waiting, wishing me a good morning. Then again in the afternoon, when he reminds me to take a break for lunch. Or later in the day, when he shares something funny that happened while he was on the road. And even from a random selfie he sent "just because."

Each message makes this independence I fought so hard for feel a little less lonely. Now, when Tenley or Harlowe question how I'm doing, I can honestly say I'm good.

"You're staying for the game, right?" Poppy takes the spot next to me at the edge of the pool. I release the claw clip from the strap of my bikini and twist my hair up, clipping it back because it's already sticking to my neck.

"Yeah, if that's okay. I haven't watched many this season."

"Of course it's okay. I'd probably cry if you left before the game, thinking it was because you were mad at us. These first trimester hormones are a real treat," Mia says, sounding groggy. She's been hiding behind a pair of sunglasses, quietly floating around the pool since I got here.

"I didn't think you were awake over there!" I say, excited to hear about Dean's reaction to their news.

"Honey, I'm barely alive, but sure, let's call this awake," she says with a yawn.

Indie and Poppy laugh, but Lilah looks a bit more sympathetic.

"Did you tell Dean?"

Her beaming smile is an answer in and of itself. She nods excitedly, looking gray as she scoots up on her floatie so she's sitting, propping her sunglasses on top of her head.

"After the game, as soon as we got home. His face was priceless; I wish I had a picture." Her eyes go misty. "At first I thought he might pass out, which was only because I gave him no lead up. The nerves were making the nausea worse, or maybe it was the ninth inning chili dog?" She considers that. "So I just blurted out that I was pregnant while he was taking his shoes off."

A tear slips down her cheek and I have the urge to sink into the water and give her a hug. We don't know each other well, but it's exactly what I would do for Harlowe. My entire adult life has been so focused on outrunning the feeling of being stuck that I never stopped to think about what I was giving up--new friendships. What these four have is rare and fuck, I miss my best friend.

I'd never replace her, but making some friends might not be bad.

"Once he realized what I was telling him, he practically tripped over his shoes trying to get to me. He started spinning me around and I had to tell him to stop because I was about to throw up all over both of us."

Tears glisten on her cheeks and I stop holding myself back, dropping into the warm water and gliding through it until I reach her. "You are going to be an amazing mom. I'm so happy for you guys." She leans over on the floaty and I wrap my arms around her.

"Thanks, Vi."

"What's going on with you and Mr. Play of the Day?" Poppy asks when I let Mia go.

I grimace. "I can't decide if that's better or worse than Tenley calling him 'Ginger Daddy.'"

Poppy throws her head back and cackles, joining us in the pool. "She doesn't."

I nod. "He hates it, which only makes her more enamored with the nickname."

"He does have that daddy energy with you." Indie tilts her head thinking about it.

"It's definitely new. With Kristy he was . . ." Lilah's voice trails off like she's weighing her words.

"Not the same?" Mia finishes.

"Not at all," Indie confirms.

"What do you mean?"

Poppy's the first to speak up. "Kristy was awful. And he was quiet, almost concerningly so."

"It was terrible," Lilah agrees, rubbing her stomach. "Truly. And I hate saying that about anyone, but I don't understand how they ended up together."

"He deserves so much better--they both do," I agree, knowing enough about the situation to know that much is true.

"I think he's found that," Indie notes.

My head whips towards Indie who looks pleased with herself.

"You managed to skirt all our questions at the stadium, but Tenley's not here to run interference today, and I think it's safe to say we are all thirsty for details," Mia says, letting me go and going back to lazing on her floatie.

"It's not like that. He's just helping me with the problem from the gala." You would think after making the list with Indie and Lara that I wasn't so awkward about the whole thing. But I fear that's not the case.

"You have to tell them about the list," Indie gushes.

"Wait, how much do you know?" Poppy splashes her aggressively, but it only makes all of us scream with laughter.

The more time I spend with them, the more I think their relationship more closely resembles sisters than friends.

"Shit, that freshly fucked look you're wearing is hotter than the sun," Indie proclaims and I cover my face with my hands.

"We haven't quite gotten there yet--to the fucking." I stammer over my words.

"Isn't that so much better than penetration?" she teases.

I squirm. "Neither feels like a winner when you have to type it out to send it to someone as part of a sex wish list."

"Is this list in some sort of kinky chronological order?" Indie asks.

At that, everyone else gapes. It's Poppy who demands, "Wait, I feel left out here. Fill me on this list and what's on it."

"There's no set order. Things have kind of just unfolded naturally." I explain our agreement, skipping some of the finer details.

"But you still haven't had sex? And you've seen him four times?" Mia asks, perking up.

"Well, technically three. One of those was over the phone."

"Jesus. I'm too pregnant and horny for this," Lilah whines.

"I haven't even seen him naked. He's been incredibly devoted to the Ladies First Philosophy."

"What about him, have you--"

I cut the question from Mia off with a shake of my head. "Very devoted to my cause," I repeat. Not willing to share all that much more.

"Are you sure you're not interested in more? That right there is husband material. I mean, you've seen his ass in baseball pants. That's reason enough on its own," Poppy says.

Boy, have I ever. It's a work of art and I'm suddenly irrationally mad that I've never seen him anything but fully clothed in person.

"If I was going to fall for someone, it would be him. But I'm not ready for that." I pray they don't press for why, because all my reasons about wanting to remain independent, focus on my career, and build my own life first grow fuzzier as I spend more time with Xavier.

"I'd mostly sworn off dating for years when Cruz and I got together. Sometimes fate has other plans."

"What made you change your mind?" I ask, telling myself it's simply to get to know Lilah better and has nothing to do with my current situation.

"He's the best thing that ever happened to me and I decided to stop letting my past dictate my future."

"Everyone has baggage," Poppy adds. "Hendrix and I both have trust issues. When you find the right person, getting over those issues is more important."

"The dates I went on before I met Dean were abysmal. We were only supposed to be a winter fling," Mia says.

Defensiveness rears its ugly head, and I want to tell them that's not how it is.

For a moment, guilt flickers and I feel like an asshole for using Xavier, but I shove it aside. He wants this as much as I do. That's why we set the rules and agreed on boundaries in the first place.

Thankfully, before I can dwell on it for too long, the chatter switches to planning Poppy's bridal shower and bachelorette party. Which she insists I come to regardless of how long this situationship with Xavier lasts.