Page 15 of Pages of My Heart

To my beloved Charlie,

But as if that was not enough, Eddie has been drafted.

A mere three days ago. Bridget was cavalier, of course, but today I dropped by the house unexpectedly and found her crying at the kitchen sink, hands submersed and unmoving in the dishwater.

The children were playing around back, so I led her to the kitchen table and we spoke at length.

Charlie, she is so angry and afraid. I longed to tell her how I understood.

It brought up all those memories of when your draft letter came and the toll it took upon us both.

I hate this fucking war and what it’s doing to everyone I love.

Now to answer some of your questions . .

. Yes, I did spray my last letter with my cologne, and this one too.

Bring it to your handsome face and breathe it in, my love.

Close your eyes and think of me. Imagine how wonderful it will feel when we are entwined again.

When I can sink into you and we can become one, once more.

When that day comes, I fear I’ll crush you with my need to be close.

I can see us in my mind as if it’s real, me moving slowly on top of you and gazing into your beautiful blue eyes. Giving you all my love.

You asked if I ever say your name at the moment of release—of course I do, my darling!

Your name is always upon my lips, just waiting to be spoken, moaned, or sighed.

Charlie. Charlie. Charlie. Even writing it to paper brings me comfort.

I’m truly sorry you cannot be afforded the same luxury, but know it’s enough—more than enough—to know your thoughts are always with me.

As for that disastrous double date! Oh, how I laughed when you reminded me of that night.

I would have thought it obvious why I was being such a pill!

Don’t you remember telling me on the night we first met you had a real soft spot for redheads?

Well, my dearest, that little floozy had gorgeous red hair, and you seemed very enamored of her .

. . to the point where it appeared you were ignoring the fourth person on that date—the one you were actually supposed to be paying attention to!

I guess my temper got away from me and I behaved a bit like a child.

Well, you’re not the only one to be overtaken by jealousy from time to time, Charlie Miller.

Now, to serious matters. I can understand why you’d feel so conflicted about what you’re doing over there.

I can feel your pain and frustration bleeding from the pages.

But hear me, Charlie—you are not doing wrong by serving your country, regardless of the brutality of it.

You are on the right side of this fight, defending the freedoms of our people.

Yes, taking a life is a wretched thing, but you are a hero—saving us all from this evil regime that would kill us both, kill everyone like us, without a second thought.

Charlie, remember that when you feel conflicted.

Things are not great here, but at least we won’t be put to death like we would if Hitler ruled this country.

That is worth fighting for, isn’t it? Hitler detests anyone different from himself and his ideas seem to infect the very essence of people and turn them into bottomless pools of hate.

I wish I were by your side, my love, so we could fight this war together. I should be there in the trenches with you, guarding your back in battle and soothing your soul in the dark of night. But I’m stuck here, with only my words to bring you any comfort. I fear they are not enough.

Charlie, my darling, my love—I miss you and long for your return. I love you with all my heart. I love you with all my body. I love you with all my soul. Tonight, I shall get on my knees and pray for your safe return, as I do every night before bed.

All my love,

Red xxx