Page 48 of Only for Me

“What do you mean?” I pushed the power button to start my Range and backed out of the spot we were in.

“We literally just sat in a doctor’s office discussing medical history like we’re a normal couple.”

I nodded, thinking about the doctor running down questions about mine and my family’s medical history to add to Avi’s records. It made shit very real for me.

“It’s about Avi. Not really a big deal.”

“I don’t have an issue with any of it.”

“Then why do you look like somebody stole your bike?”

She grinned and rolled her eyes. “This is not how I visualized things for us.”

“That’s because you didn’t visualize me being a part of this at all.” I cut my eyes at Makari and she shrugged.

“I won’t deny that. When I found out I was pregnant, I made up my mind that this would all be on me. Now I’m riding shotgun after a doctor’s visit and you’re at my house, doing midnight feedings and changing explosive diapers.”

“You can keep them shits…literally.” I frowned and Makari laughed.

“Nope, we’re fifty-fifty, buddy. You wanted this so you’re getting the full experience.”

“That bother you?” I asked, hoping she wasn’t having regrets. I didn’t want to be at odds or fighting her for time.

“You changing explosive diapers? Not at all.”

“Not them damn shitty ass diapers. I mean that we’re doing this together.”

“At first it did, but mostly because I felt like it wasn’t really about being a good father and it was more about you wanting something you couldn’t have. I half expected you to get custody and disappear but you’re here and a lot different than I thought you would be.”

“I guess so since you thought I wasn’t gonna be shit.”

“I thought you weren’t going to be serious about being a father and you can’t really blame me.”

“Yes the fuck I can.”

She grinned and shrugged again. “Well, I was wrong. You’re good at this and whether it’s what I wanted or not, I’m glad you bullied your way into our lives. Not that I can’t do this by myself but I’m glad I don’t have to.”

“You sure about that?” I looked at her and she smiled big as hell but nodded.

“Yeah, I am.”

“Good, then don’t give me shit about the next couple days. I’m going to be out of town with work, but if you need me to move some things around, I can try to see if they’ll work with me.”

“No, you don’t have to do that. You’re a professional athlete. I understand that comes with commitments. There’s a difference in you disappearing on us for a week without saying anything and you letting me know you have work stuff. Just don’t use that as an excuse to not show up for Avi.”

The lie felt heavy as hell on my tongue when I delivered it but even more weighted when she responded with understanding instead of giving me a hard time about it. I was fucked up for the lie but also knew there was no other way to disappear without pissing her off.

“I’m not.”

“Then we’re fine.”

I tossed my chin and left the conversation there, feeling like shit because she trusted me but I wasn’t ready to share why I needed the next couple days away from them. I couldn’t face her or Avi, because even if I wasn’t the one who pulled the trigger that night, my bad fucking decisions were what put O’Rion in that car. So his death would forever be on me and in me. I had to carry that weight on my shoulders and I wasn’t sure I could.

Chapter 9

Makari

Two days. That was how long it had been since I’d seen him and I was stuck on one thought…