Page 126 of Only for Me

I dressed in practice clothes then headed to the bathroom to wash my face and brush my teeth, trying to wake the hell up before I dipped into the closet to grab my practice bag. Before leaving, I leaned over the bed and kissed Makari’s temple, chuckling when she frowned and yanked the covers up over her head, kicking her legs like she was mad and snoring seconds later.

I lifted my phone and wallet from the dresser, dropping them both into my bag before I grabbed my key fob and headed to Avi’s room. Just like her mother she was out cold, one fist balled up with an arm over her head, face all tight like she was mad at the world. This was the only time our baby looked like her mother. I grinned and kissed her cheeks then brushed my fingers over her thick curls.

“Be good today, pretty girl. Mommy is going to be moving slow.”

I left her room regretting that I had to go hit this field but only because I hated leaving them. The same way I found peace with Makari and Avi, I found a different kind of peace on that field. The two didn’t compare, and I damn sure wouldn’t ever try to say they were the same, but both gave me something I needed. My family and football both gave me a connection to my brother. The peace they brought made it easier to accept that I didn’t have Rion.

I would never get over losing him but Kari and Avi provided me with a new way of surviving the loss. Whether I deserved it or not, they filled that emptiness I had been struggling with for the past two years. I clung to that feeling and them. I couldn’t fuck this up. I needed them. Kari never had to worry about me doing that dumb shit them stupid ass women were warning her about. She had me two hundred percent and she was forever gonna have me, even if I didn’t have her. That was a fucked up thought but it was real. I needed her in ways that weren’t healthy but there wasn’t a damn thing I could do about it.

The drive to the sports complex was quiet. That was my time to get my head right. When I walked into the locker room, my mood shifted from family to football. I blocked out everything else and got ready to work.

Half of the team was there but it was quiet as hell because most of them were barely functional. This shit wasn’t for the weak, and after years of being in the rotation, I still loved it.

“Hayes.” Moses walked up and dropped his bag on the bench next to where I was sitting.

“What’s good, Mo.” He grinned. “You see this. Their dumb asses were at Black Diamonds last night turning up.”

“You went?”

“Hell nah. I know better. You know your boy was there though.”

“Land?”

“Hell yeah but he’s built for being up all night and hitting the field the next day. His ass is a functioning alcoholic.” Moses chuckled.

“I hope they weren’t trying to keep up with him.”

“You see them dragging. They damn sure were.”

“It’s about to be a long ass practice.” I brushed a hand over my head, looking around the locker room, seeing everyone withdifferent eyes. They weren’t quiet because it was early. They were quiet because they were hung over.

“Yeah it is, but ay, did you holla at your girl about going to Turks?”

I nodded. “We’re down. She said she’s cool with it.”

“Aight, bet. We have a week before training camp; so we can do it then. Should be eight of us.”

“Eight for what?” Ryland came walking in looking well rested and not like he’d been turning up last night.

“Turks.”

“Shit, I’m down.” He dropped his bag on a bench across from me on the other side of the locker room.

“It’s couples, fam. That’s not your thing.”

“I’m still going. I have a few on my list I can tolerate for a weekend.”

“Bruh, that’s not how it works. We’re not trying to have our weekend messed up because you can’t keep your dick under control.”

He grinned. “I know how to behave.”

“I’ll let you handle that.” Mo shook his head. “I’ll book the villa and send you the dates.”

He walked off and I thought about something. “Ay, you said eight, who all is going?”

“Just us, Zina and Moses, and I think he invited Sam and Layla.”

“Aight.”