Page 79 of On Merit Alone

Chapter Forty

Ira

It was over a week ago that I saw Merit in the tunnel speaking with her piece of shit general manager, and I hadn’t seen her since. There weren’t words to describe the anger and fear I’d felt after hearing just how much contempt someone who was supposed to be on her team held for her.

At the same time I wanted to rip that man apart. I also wanted to wretch because, as I began to process what Mer’s GM not liking her actually meant for her future—the possibility of her leaving—I began to feel more and more sick with helplessness.

The truth was, I didn’t know what I’d do if she was taken away from me. I hadn’t even thought about the possibility, which was crazy given the industry we both worked in, but the prospect had never even crossed my mind. Now that it had, I knew I had to defend her spot in any way I could.

I walked into her empty kitchen, which was slightly less empty as it was slowly being filled with little pieces of our relationship.

A saltshaker we picked up at a market, a dish towel from my kitchen, a list of our “no-go” dates pinned to the fridge so we knew what days we wouldn’t get to see each other.

Even something as mundane as a stack of takeaway containers she’d been meaning to return to my home for weeks now on the counter made me happy.

I know it was selfish and possessive of me to like seeing myself in all corners of her life, but I was shameless in my need for her. I couldn’t help that I loved being a part of her life. I wouldn’t help it. I’d protect it. Or that’s at least what I planned to do.

“Mer?” I called into the quiet of the apartment. Not even Cash was at the door to greet me. She’d been acting weird for the past day, come to think of it. One-word messages and shorter phone calls meant something had to be up.

The response I heard next completely backed up my theory.

“I’m not going,” Merit said from God knows where she was skulking.

I chuckled, safely setting the things I’d brought inside on the kitchen island before moving deeper into the space. “No? And why’s that?”

“You’re too famous. You made the charity event too popular and now there’s going to be a red carpet and interviews and everything.” A beat passed and she grumbled, “And I have nothing to wear.”

“Ah,” I said, nodding. “Well, I might be able to help with part of that if you come out and see me.”

“No.”

“C’mon sweetheart, I miss you.”

“Should have thought of that when you were gone for days,” she said, and though she sounded playful, there was a slight doubt in her voice that twisted me up. Suddenly, I really wanted to find her.

“Mer, come on out, baby.”

“I’m not going.”

“I thought you were contractually obligated to all of these events, and you ‘don’t break contracts’, remember?” My hands found the back of her small gray sectional as I looked around the living room .

More grumbling. “Whatever. Rob already hates me and has it out for me. What’s the use?”

My frown pulled. She wasn’t wrong. But we weren’t focusing on that tonight. Everything would be okay with us, I knew it would. So tonight we would focus on something I’m betting she hadn’t done before.

I scoured the internet but could find no photos of Merit anywhere near a red carpet or even any of the copious black-tie events that came up for the Mountaineer crowd.

If she attended any of the smaller ones, she’d shied away from the spotlight.

And she definitely hadn’t gone to any of them with a date.

I knew it wasn’t much of her scene, but every girl deserved to have one red carpet in her life, so I made some calls, and now I was here. My only job now was to deliver the beauty to her destination, if I could find her first.

I knew what might lure her out.

“Don’t you want to see baby Maddox in his little suit?” I asked into the abyss.

There was a pointed pause, then the first crack in her armor appeared. Out came Cash from the hallway, apparently let go by his master and wagging his tail excitedly at my feet.

“Mads is coming?” she called curiously.

“Yup, and your favorite girl,” I said. After petting Cash’s head, I wandered further into the living room, turning to the hallway. She was still nowhere to be seen. “Your favorite girl being Liv, not Iris, you weirdo. I forgot I had to clarify that with you.”

“Obviously, I knew that,” she hissed, but there was a lightness to her voice that said she was laughing.

And a muffled quality that said that sound might have come from the closet. “Mer?”

The closet door swung open, and behind it, there she was. She wore her standard shorts and matching top, orange this time. A shade that made her skin glow so gorgeous that I took notes in the back of my mind. She’d look great in that color too.

Her braids were new, or at least she’d done something new with them as they curled at the bottom of the long ropes in tight spirals.

Loose curly tendrils fell out of the braids, making her look ethereal.

Her makeup was done already, her face holding a flawless sheen with varying neutral colors decorating her cheeks and eyelids.

“Damn,” I said on reflex alone.

She was a dream. My dream. I couldn’t help but admire her.

“What?” she asked.

I shook my head, my eyes roaming over her again and again. Eating her up. “I’m so lucky.”

She gave me a look that said she thought I was crazy. “I’m not even dressed yet.”

“Don’t have to be. You’re beautiful. Always,” I admitted. How could I not?

“Why are the babies coming? And their parents too, I assume,” she asked.

Reaching a hand into the closet, I picked hers up and led her out of the small space. “I think I should be asking the questions, sweetheart. Like why were you in the closet?”

“I was hiding from you, obviously. I’m not ready, and look at you.

” Her eyes skated over me, tracking my every novelty.

We’d still yet to go on a real date. Which meant she’d yet to see me all dressed up.

The appreciation on her face warmed my skin.

As if she sensed it, her eyes shot up to mine and a moment of heat passed between us.

Instead of exploring it, she pressed, “Why are the little ones coming?”

“They wanted to see their Auntie Merit in her pretty yellow dress,” I said simply, continuing to pull her along. Passing by the kitchen, I snagged the bags I brought and led us into her room.

“Don’t say it like that,” she said.

“Like what? ”

“Like I’m their family too,” she mumbled. “I know you mean well, but you know how I feel about getting my hopes up.”

Looking back at her, I noticed she’d ducked her chin, rerouting her gaze to her feet. I stopped, neatly setting my items aside before taking her lush hips into my grasp and anchoring her to me. She gasped but I gave her no time to protest as I took her mouth with mine.

Soft and pillowy, I was addicted to these lips.

Addicted to the way they felt over mine, even after having kissed them so many times.

Addicted to the way she always moaned into me, whether it was sweet or sexy, she always moaned.

Which often turned sweet into sexy. But most of all I was addicted to the way she fit with me.

Just right. Perfect.

When we pulled away I kept my head pressed against hers.

“There’s nothing hopeful about us, sweetheart,” I said after a moment of soaking her in. “This feeling is beyond just hope. This is what the real thing feels like. And unless you say so, there's no way in hell I’m letting you go.”

Her head popped back a fraction and her eyes moved to search mine, the smallest crease between her eyebrows. “Are you saying?—”

I kissed her again, quicker this time. Now wasn’t the time to be talking about this. “C’mon. Let’s get you ready, Six. You’re going to make us late.”

I said this, but I waited for her cue first. While I didn’t want to have this conversation now when we were headed to a work event, of all things, I damn sure could and would if that’s what she needed.

She just nodded her head and started back into her room. Then suddenly she doubled back, “Did you say yellow dress earlier?”

I laughed, pushing her along with a steady hand on her back. “Oh, now she listens. Keep walking. And take a seat.”