Page 62 of On Merit Alone

Chapter Thirty-Three

Merit

I stared at my phone, waiting for a reply. I sent the message exactly thirty seconds ago, so one should be coming through any second now. Any second now .

I bit my nail.

I drummed my fingers on the countertop.

I checked my watch.

Oh, fuck it. Lunging for the small device, I opened my lock screen and pulled up my last delivered message. No response yet. Geez. Shouldn’t she have seen it by now?

Ding! The chime of my phone couldn’t come at a more perfect time. Finally, Em had answered my vague “You busy” message from over a minute ago. Her message back was just as simple.

Em

No. Can I call you?

Me

Sure.

My phone was ringing in the next thirty seconds.

See this is why I liked Emily. She was a direct sort of person that I could appreciate. It’s true that I’m pretty boring, and sometimes too serious, but sometimes I needed a more outgoing party to take the reins.

Which is why, when I was struggling with these daunting thoughts and feelings about Ira, she is the one I reached out to without a second thought. Of course I was giving it a second thought now as she waited on the other end of the line for me to say something.

“Uh, Merit?” Em’s voice asked from the other line. “You there?”

I cleared my throat. “Mhmm, yeah. Sorry Em, how are you?”

“I’m good…” she started, pausing awkwardly. “You?”

“Oh, I’m good,” I said, that same pause following my own words as we felt each other out.

Another second went by.

“Listen, Em—” I started at the same time she said, “What’s going on, Cap?”

We both paused again. Laughed, and then Em was telling me to go first.

“Em, I was just wondering… you guys—I mean you and the team—you all go out and stuff like that? Like together?” I asked and my God could there ever be a more embarrassing question?

“Yeah,” Emily slowly supplied. “Why?”

“Are you guys going tonight? Or this weekend or something?” I asked.

She was quiet. I was quiet. I got the impression that the answer was yes but that I just wasn't invited. This made me feel bad and I immediately wanted to take everything back. I called Em because I thought she was the closest thing I had to a friend on the team. But I guess I had been wrong.

“Never mind Em. That was a stupid question?— ”

“Are you finally asking to come out with us, Mer?” Emily cut me off, her voice sounding…excited?

I fidgeted. “Well just if you guys were planning on going.”

“Oh, we’re going. Sorry, I was quiet for a sec, I was texting everyone to get their asses ready. Merit Jones finally wants to go out!” she laughed. “Why? Did something happen? Is your boyfriend coming?”

“I don’t have a boyfriend.”

There was a pause of silence. “I thought you were with Ira.”

“Um,” I hesitated. I’ve never been one to put my business out there. Hence why it had taken me so long to simply attend an outing with the girls, but… “I don’t really know—It’s complicated.”

“Ohhh,” Em said, sounding like she suddenly understood something she didn’t before. “I get it. Why don’t you come over so we can get ready and you can tell me all about what pretty boy has been putting you through.”

“Seriously?” I asked, probably a little too excited. “You would do that?”

She laughed. “Yes, seriously, Cap. I got your back. Here, I’ll send you the address.”

I wasn’t a big drinker. I liked wine and the occasional cocktail if it was interesting enough to warrant me wasting my perfectly sound inhibitions on. But other than that, I was a water and orange juice type of person. So when the shots started making their way out to our group, I was wary.

Emily wasn’t lying when she said she was rounding everyone up.

After showing up to her house, the one I learned she shared with her girlfriend of four years in the artistic district in town, we all got ready while sharing a box of these alcoholic sparkling water things.

They listened to my troubles with Ira with wide eyes and laughs.

Apparently, I was being crazy and it was clear (to them) that Ira was madly in love with me.

Just thinking about the way Emily and Audre stared at me like I’d grown two heads almost made me want to burst out laughing now.

But when I was sitting in front of them in their living room, it made me shake my head in utter confusion, Emily reaching out to grasp my shoulder with a grave look on her face.

“Merit, I say this with the utmost respect. You cannot be this dense.”

“I’m not!” I said defensively. “You say he loves me, I say he… likes me well enough.”

The two women gave each other knowing looks. Em stood with a big sigh and a shake to her head. “Alright. Well, let’s get you ready to party and we’ll see how well he likes that .”

So we did, playing music and talking about other things.

Friend things . Comparing social media feeds and the funny videos we’d liked.

Em commented on how wholesome mine was with all the dog videos, and so I showed her pictures of Cash, Ira, and I—further cementing the assumption that he loved me in her eyes.

I commented on how thematically pleasing hers was and soon learned that she had a brand idea in the works.

Blown away, I asked to see it and she did me one better. She tossed my intended outfit aside and gave me a brand new one she’d just gotten in from her suppliers.

I started to feel better even before we stepped foot out of the house. Just being around people that I knew, learning more about Emily and laughing as medicine was making me feel much better. At one point I even sighed contentedly and told her just as much.

Em had only agreed and said, “Good, because there’s nothing to worry about. That man absolutely loves you.”

They still insisted on taking me out. Me and half the team by the count of how many of the girls showed up at the bar Em told them to meet at .

We got in, got a table, and all got drinks right away. It was as simple as that. When I tried to order wine, Charlie snatched the little paper list away from me and crumbled it up before she ordered me a margarita and told me to liven up.

When the drinks were served, dozens of curious eyes turned to me. “So… what’s up, Cap?”

Sipping my drink, I looked from one woman to the next before sighing. “I know Emily’s already told you guys.”

Smiles. Smiles everywhere, before I was being bombarded with questions.

“What’s he like?”

“Are you guys dating?”

“Have you guys made it official?”

“How long have you been seeing him?”

“Is he as good in bed as he is on the court?”

And finally, my favorite. “How big is he?”

My head swam, but in a slow kind of way and I giggled. I guess Em hadn’t told them everything . Hitching my shoulders up and down, I leaned forward in a stage whisper, “I don’t know.”

There was a collective gasp. And then another outbreak of stumbling sounds.

“Oh my God, Cap is a prude.”

“Merit!”

“I think she’s drunk already!”

“I think she needs to find out already.”

I laughed at their excitement. They were all happy and bubbly and excited to be here.

It was nice to see them like this. I only ever saw them at the gym where we were serious and determined and would sometimes joke around but not always.

So seeing them like this was sort of inviting in a way; like I was being made privy to another side of them, and them to me.

Maybe I was letting all the excitement get to my head though, as I downed my second shot of God knows what and swayed on my feet. At one point, Charlie caught me by the shoulders and stood me steady on my feet before whipping her head around to look at my face.

“Cap, are you a lightweight or did you just not eat today?”

I smiled, my limbs feeling buzzy and loose. “Both, I think.”

A chorus of noise filled my ears and suddenly I was being shuffled to the center of the room. Bodies were everywhere and the music got even louder. Next to my shoulder, I heard Emily near my ear saying, “It’s time to dance, love.”

Oh, dancing? I’d never danced much, but I wasn’t afraid to. I liked the upbeat songs they were playing, and I’d never had a problem finding a beat. This was fun.

Way more fun than I’d ever had before. Way more fun than I ever thought I could have in a place that was crowded with floors that stuck to the bottom of my shoes. I danced, I drank, I talked, I lived.

And I thought about Ira.

About how I wished he was there too. That's how this whole thing started right?

Because I wish he had shown up for me. It was funny how I thought the solution for missing him was to see less of him when all I truly wanted was for him to appear right there in that doorway and look at me with those happy eyes.

A sudden applause ripped me out of my fantasy and brought my gaze up just in time to see… I wiped at my eyes before I remembered I had makeup on and stopped.

Had I conjured him up? Or was that really Ira I saw shouldering his way into the bar and narrowing his eyes as he scanned the room for… me ?

Those eyes weren’t what I thought they’d be. Instead of happy they were angry? Hungry . Possessive. And his usually relaxed face was drawn up in a tight hold.

I watched as he registered my teammates around me. I realized suddenly that they’d been the ones applauding. Because they were clapping for him.

I giggled, my hand coming up to cover my mouth.

They were all little shits. But they knew what they were doing, because the way he was looking at me now, like he couldn’t take his eyes off of me.

Like he was mad for some reason as his eyes bore into my skin—raking up and down my body.

It was bringing a delicious tingle to the pit of my stomach.

Turning away from him, I looked around my group. They all eyed me back knowingly. Some with devious little smirks on their faces, some with excited anticipating eyes.

“Whatcha going to do, Cap?” Charlie asked, the captain of the little shits.

The grin I let loose was one of my biggest as I shook my head at them. Always the troublemakers. Reaching forward, I grabbed her hand anyway, latching onto someone else’s in the group too.

“I think we need to find more shots.”