Page 20

CHAPTER NINETEEN

KAMRYN

W e’re driving north up the Florida coastline in our rental car. I have absolutely no clue where our final destination is. I turn to him from the passenger seat. “Where are we going?”

Cheetah smirks as he casually changes lanes. “You’ll see.” He winks at me. “It’s an unexpected treasure I found in Florida a few years ago. That’s the only clue you’re getting.”

Clue? That’s no clue. He’s being elusive on purpose. Ugh. I hate uncertainty.

It’s nearly midnight when we eventually pull into some sort of large community with a gate. Cheetah stops the car as a security guard approaches and asks, “Who are you here to visit?”

“Cruz Gonzales here to shower love and affection onto the one and only goddess of West Coast Florida, Jane Rockefeller. She’s expecting us.”

Why does that name sound vaguely familiar? Damn. I can’t place her.

The guard looks at his clipboard and nods. “Yes, sir. She left your name.” He presses a button and the gate opens. “You can go through. Do you know which house is hers? ”

Cheetah nods. “I sure do.”

“Have a good night.”

“You too.”

We drive through the gate to the expansive community of homes. There must be hundreds of them, all in varying sizes from one-level smaller homes to large mansions. It’s hard to tell at night, but it looks like there’s both coastal water and a golf course. That’s kind of common for Florida communities. Though they’re usually for older people. I’m not sure what we’re doing here. I don’t think Cheetah has grandparents in the area.

He navigates us through the streets of the community as though he’s been here before. Finally, we pull up to a decent-sized one-story home. Probably the biggest one-story home I’ve seen yet. Before I can ask any more questions, the front door opens. Trey, Gemma, and an older woman walk out. Jane Rockefeller. Oh. Gemma’s grandmother. I briefly met her one time, and I know Cheetah adores her, but they call her Grammy Jane. I don’t think I’ve ever heard her last name until tonight. That’s why I couldn’t place her.

Other than recommending the clothing boutique and a few short conversations at Screwballs, I haven’t spent a ton of time with Gemma. She doesn’t come out often because they have a baby boy whose name I can’t remember. Bailey is closer to her, and Cheetah considers her one of his best friends. I know they have monthly lunches to discuss their mutual love of romance novels.

“That’s Gemma’s grandmother, right?” I ask. “The one who visited a few months ago.”

He nods. “Yes. We call her Grammy Jane. She’s the best. I sometimes hang out here during Spring Training. She and her friends are a riot. This place gives you perspective. Luckily, Gemma and Trey are visiting this week for the holiday season. They come down here anytime they can.”

“Remind me of their baby’s name.”

“Fletcher. He’s almost one. He’s a cutie. ”

We park in the driveway and get out of the car. Gemma immediately pulls me into a hug. “Sorry for your loss, Kam.”

I tentatively hug her back. “It’s cool. We weren’t close. The world is a better place without her in it.”

She pinches her lips together as she pulls away and nods. “I’m not terribly close with my mother either. Just my grandmother.”

Cheetah and Grammy Jane embrace. It’s so warm and familiar. He lifts and spins her. She simply giggles. “Put me down, you big feline.”

“Takes one to know one, you sassy cougar,” he replies.

Grammy Jane giggles again while Gemma leans over and whispers to me that her grandmother’s boyfriend is much younger than her.

Damn. Good for Grammy Jane. She must be around eighty years old.

Trey kisses my cheek while Cheetah continues to pour love on Grammy Jane. Their mutual affection is clear.

Once he places her feet on the ground, she reaches over and hugs me. “Welcome to my home. We’re so happy to have you both here.”

I like that her expression isn’t one of pity and that she doesn’t offer her condolences. I don’t want either.

I hug her back. “Thanks for having us.” At least I assume she’s having us.

She warmly squeezes my arm. “I’m sure it’s been a difficult time for you. Did you know that life is like a penis?”

Gemma moans in exasperation. “Grammy Jane. She just got here. Behave yourself.”

Grammy Jane shakes her head. “Never, my beautiful Gemma Morgan.”

I smile. “Don’t stop her, Gemma. I’d love to know how life is like a penis.”

Grammy Jane nods emphatically. “Because when life is soft it's hard to beat, but when it's hard you get screwed.”

I start laughing hysterically. I think I love this woman. Now I know why Cheetah adores her so much. He watches on with a huge smile covering his face while Gemma and Trey shake their heads like they’ve heard it a million times before.

She rubs my arm. “Happy to have you. We’ll have a little fun for a few days. And all the ladies in this community love Cruz walking around the pool area topless. They sometimes try to get him to go bottomless.”

This woman is a riot, and she’s giving me exactly what I need right now. I’m suddenly very happy to be here.

Cheetah and Trey carry our bags into the house. I look around. It’s a nice place. It’s shockingly modern and well-decorated. Not what you’d expect from a grandmother. My grandparents had floral couches covered in plastic when I was growing up.

Grammy Jane looks around. “Please feel free to help yourself to anything you want. Don’t ask, just take.” She points to a door in the hallway. “That’s my bedroom.” She points to another. “That’s Trey and Gemma’s.” She points to one more. “And that will be yours. Each bedroom has its own bathroom.”

Cheetah looks at Gemma and Trey. “Are you guys sure it’s okay for Fletcher to sleep in your room? I feel bad about taking his room.”

Grammy Jane answers. “We moved his crib to my room, not theirs. I don’t want to prevent Gemma and Trey from playing bam-bam with the ham. I want another great-grandbaby as soon as possible.”

I can’t help but laugh out loud. Cheetah laughs too while Gemma and Trey simply roll their eyes.

Gemma says, “You’re a crazy old lady. I should have you committed.” Before smiling and adding, “But Trey’s ham says thank you, as does my bam-bam.”

Grammy Jane winks before she waves. “I’m off to get my beauty sleep while Fletcher is still sleeping. Like I said, help yourselves to anything you want. I’ll see you all in the morning.”

After we say goodnight to her, Gemma asks if we want to go out back and have a drink. I agree, and she retrieves four beers from the refrigerator. We make our way through the sliding glass door into an unexpectedly expansive backyard. The property overlooks the intracoastal waters. It’s beautiful. There’s a dock with a speedboat and two jet skis.

As we get seated in the large Adirondack chairs, I nod toward the boat and jet skis. “Are those Grammy Jane’s?”

Cheetah nods. “Yep. The boys and I all come here a ton during our Spring Training. We go out on the boat, hang out at the community pool, and ride the jet skis. Grammy Jane’s friends are hell on wheels. We all love them.”

I narrow my eyes at him. “You’re telling me that a bunch of single, attractive, professional baseball players, who could basically bang anyone they want, come here to hang with a bunch of old people?”

Gemma giggles. “I know. I find it hard to believe myself. They eat it up.”

Cheetah agrees. “The young guys don’t come with us. It’s just me, Trey, Layton, and Ezra. Quincy came last year too. We’re not here every day, but maybe three or four times during the course of the five weeks we spend down here for Spring Training.”

I ask Gemma, “Do you visit often?”

She nods. “Whenever I can. I’m unusually close with my grandmother. I told you I have a bit of a strained relationship with my mother. Grammy Jane is my closest family member. I’m just happy that she and Trey have always gotten along well.”

Gemma is so normal. She seems at peace with her apparent mommy issues. Why can’t I be like her?

As if sensing my inner turmoil, she continues, “It’s not our fault that we got dealt a bad hand of cards when it comes to mothers. I don’t know the details of your situation, and I don’t need to. But choosing to live your life differently is how we overcome it. Find your happy place and reside there. Don’t reside in the past because no matter what, you can’t change it. Before I met Trey, this was my happy place when I needed a moment. I’d come here and watch these people live their best lives with an I don’t give a fuck what anyone thinks attitude. You have no idea how crazy the residents are here. The universe then blessed me with Trey. Lucky for me, my two happy places meshed so well into one big super happy place.”

Trey smiles lovingly at her as he lifts her hand and kisses it. The handful of times I’ve been around them, he’s completely doted on her. I’ve never seen a man love a woman harder than he outwardly and unapologetically loves Gemma.

“How did you two meet?” I ask.

She smiles at Cheetah, and he raises his hand. “It was all me. I’m taking full credit.”

Trey moans in annoyance.

Cheetah continues, “I was a fan of Gemma’s writing and was fangirling over a funny drunken video she posted with some of her author friends. I showed it to Trey. He then became a psycho in pursuing her. Legit stalker, crazy, lunatic psycho.”

Trey rolls his eyes. “I wasn’t that bad.”

Gemma and Cheetah both laugh. She grabs his hand. “It’s okay. It was hot.” She turns back to me. “Despite a few hurdles, it all worked out. I believe it always does. I love my life. Whatever your mother did is on her, not you. My mother is still alive, and we see her now and then, but we’re a lot closer to my grandmother because that’s who we choose to be around. It’s who we choose to have our son around. It’s who makes us happy. I might share genes with her, but I’m not my mother, and I never will be. Something I’m more than proud of.”

I take a long sip of my beer as I let all her words sink in. Find your happy place and reside there.

Gemma stands and grabs for Trey. “I know it’s been a long day for you. We’ll leave you guys to talk and see you in the morning. Prepare for poolside morning margaritas.”

I raise my eyebrows. “They morning drink here?”

She smiles. “They all-day drink here. Honestly, it’s hard to keep up. ”

I shake my head in disbelief. “I can’t wait to see it. Thanks again for having us.”

She nods before Trey wraps his arm around her, and they walk back inside.

I look at Cheetah. “I’ve never spent that much time talking to Gemma. She’s very sweet.”

He nods. “She’s one of my favorite people in the world.” He briefly pinches his lips together. “I thought she was a true unicorn until I met you. You guys are a lot alike.”

“How so?”

“Beautiful, smart, loyal, funny, dirty. You both have this inner glow that draws people to you. You innately make everyone around you happy.”

“Me?”

“Yes, you. I wish you saw yourself like I see you.”

He swallows hard before he pulls a folded piece of paper from his pocket and tentatively hands it to me.

I look down at the handwritten name Chastity Pearl with an email address and a telephone number. I pinch my eyebrows together in confusion. “Did you get me a stripper?”

He lets out a laugh. “No, but Chastity is kind of a stripper name.” He bites his lip nervously. “I…umm…asked around, and she’s a psychologist who specializes in helping people with parental issues. I thought it might help to talk to a professional.”

My shoulders fall. “You think I’m fucked up.”

He shakes his head. “Getting help doesn’t mean you're fucked up. It means you’re strong enough to take steps to overcome demons that were not of your making. Your mother was fucked up, not you. Maybe talking to Dr. Pearl will help you realize that.”

I fight back the tears. I thought he was the one person who didn’t think I was crazy. He told me as much.

Tossing the paper aside and feeling defensive, I bark out, “I didn’t ask for help.”

“But you tell me you’re not normal and will never be normal. I love that you’re not like everyone else. You’re the one who seems to have a problem with it. I think you should talk to someone who can help you overcome whatever it is you think you need to overcome.”

“So I sit on a stranger’s couch and tell her that I’ve spent the past fifteen years of my life fucking a ton of people to numb the pain caused by having a monster of a mother?”

His eyes widen, followed shortly thereafter by mine. I think I might have gasped. I’ve never admitted anything like that. Not even to myself.

Holy shit. Is that what I’ve been doing?

He moves down to his knees in front of me and places his hands on my thighs. “I think you’re the most special person in the world. I just want you to realize that too. If Dr. Pearl can help you get there, I’m all for it. It’s obviously up to you. You need to want it for it to work.”

I cup his handsome face as I’m hit with a wave of emotion for this man, the likes of which I’ve never before experienced.

Suddenly I’m finding it hard to breathe. This is too intense. I can’t have this conversation with him.

I stand and begin to remove my shirt.

“Whatcha doing Kam bam?”

I smile as I unbutton my jeans and pull them down along with my panties. I nod toward the darkened water, illuminated only by a few exterior lights of the houses that run along the shoreline. “You didn’t think there was any chance I wasn’t going skinny dipping tonight, did you?”

I start running toward the dock and yell back, “Last one in has to smell Aunt Maria’s bra.”

He sucks in a breath as he stands and immediately begins removing his clothes too. “It won’t be me.”

I drop my bra along the way before running straight down the dock and cannonballing into the ocean. The cool, calm water feels good as my overheated body is completely submerged in the quiet ocean.

My head pops back up just in time to see a naked Cheetah yelling out, “Yeehaw,” while doing a full flip over my head into the water, the resulting waves pulling me back under.

We both pop up with smiles on our faces. I ask, “Are you able to stay afloat? Or are your balls like anchors, pulling you down?”

He reaches over and tickles me, causing me to giggle.

“You think you’re so funny. I’m going to drop those balls into your mouth while you sleep tonight.”

“You don’t even need to squat to teabag me.”

He smiles as we tread water, and asks, “What happened to the guy who got fired from the teabag company?”

I twist my lips. “Hmm. What?”

“He got sacked.”

I stick out my tongue in disgust. “Yuck. That was lame. Where’s your trademark creativity?”

“Do you have a better one?”

I wiggle my eyebrows. “You know I do.”

“Have at it, princess.”

“If you teabag someone with a nut allergy, is it attempted murder?”

He starts laughing as he pulls me into his arms, his very hard dick sliding between my thighs. I wrap my legs around him, and he maneuvers us until my back is to the dock and his hands grip it, holding us in place.

He flashes his dimples before rubbing his nose along mine. “I adore you, Kam bam.”

“I adore your stamina, kitten.”

He rolls his hips until his tip runs through my wetness. “How about I show you my stamina right now?”

I pat up and down my bare waist and hips like I’m looking for something. “Ooh, sorry, but this outfit doesn’t have pockets. No condom.”

He kisses along my neck as his cock continues to move through me. “How about we go bare? The sun isn’t out right now. Perhaps you could use a little boost of Vitamin D. ”

“Umm, no. Absolutely not. You could be a walking STD for all I know.”

He chuckles. “I haven’t been with anyone else since you moved to town.”

I jerk my head back in surprise. “For real? Why not?”

He nods. “As soon as I met you, I stopped noticing others. It’s kind of annoying, but no one stirs my dick, brain, and funny bone like you.”

I shrug. “Too bad I can’t say the same. Maybe I’m the one who isn’t clean.” I know I am, but I can’t do this. I never have. It’s too intimate.

He narrows his eyes at me. “Have you been with another man since the night of the Sports Illustrated party?”

I squeeze my eyes shut. I can’t lie to him, not after all he’s done for me over the past few days. With a long sigh, I open my eyes and admit, “I didn’t go home with that guy. No man has buzzed the Brillo besides you since I moved to Philly. Only women and none since your birthday.”

“What about—”

“None, Cruz.”

His dimples come out in full force, and I roll my eyes. “Don’t get all starry-eyed on me. It doesn’t mean anything. I wasn’t actively choosing not to go home with someone. None were of interest to me. If they were, I would have happily let them check my oil.”

He raises one of his dark eyebrows. “Don’t bullshit a bullshitter. It means everything. You’re more into me than you’re admitting, even to yourself.”

I’m quiet. He’s not wrong.

He swivels his hips again so his tip breaches my entrance. He moves it in and out a few times. Just the tip. No further.

He whispers. “Did you know that whales have the second largest dick in the ocean?”

Trying to pretend like his unsheathed tip isn’t moving in and out of me, I respond, “No, they’re not second, they’re first. ”

He smiles. “Let me clarify. They’re second when I’m swimming in the ocean.”

I let out a small laugh before things take a serious turn. We simply stare at each other. His blue eyes are filled with so much emotion. This might be the most intimate moment of my life. I’m taking deep breaths, trying to remain calm.

His lips brush across mine before latching on. The kiss is soft and sweet with his tongue grazing across my inner lip, immediately relaxing me. When did his taste start to have a calming effect on my inner crazy?

I wrap my legs tighter around him and roll my hips forward, causing his dick to move further and further inside me. Oh fuck, that feels good. It’s like I can feel every ridge and vein of him inside me.

He smiles into my mouth when he’s eventually seated to the hilt. I can’t help but let out a moan.

My breathing becomes labored to the point where I need to pull out of the kiss. But then I do what I should never do. I begin to think. My head starts spinning. What am I doing? I can’t let this happen. It’s too much.

I pull away and let him slip out of me before exhaling and dipping below the surface until I reach the bottom of the ocean floor.

We’re in the bay, so it’s only a few feet down, but I can feel the soft sand hit my feet. I don’t want to go up and face him. I should never have let that happen.

Within seconds, I feel a big arm around my waist, pulling me up. I remain lifeless as I let him use his free arm to help us back up to the surface.

We’re both breathless when we break through.

With labored breaths, I frantically say, “I’m sorry. I can’t be with you like this. I’ll suck your dick. Just give me a second.”

He pulls me into a hug. “Relax. It’s okay. I’m sorry I pushed. It’s my fault.”

“You didn’t. I just…I can’t. I’m not the person for you. ”

He’s quiet for a moment before calmly saying, “It’s been a long, emotional few days. Let’s get some sleep.”

I go to say something, but he simply gives me a soft kiss and then a small smile. “We’re fine. Don’t stress. I brought you here to put a smile on your face. That’s my only plan for the next two days.”

Why is this man so good to me? I don’t deserve him. More importantly, he deserves someone so much better than me.

I look around. “Umm, I guess we don’t have towels. Grammy Jane’s neighborhood is about to get a view of the goods.”

He motions his head back toward the house. “She keeps a bunch in a cabinet by the outdoor shower. I’ll get out first and then shield you from any possible nosey neighbors as we walk back toward the house. Or I can run back and bring you a towel if you’d like.”

I raise my eyebrow. “Do you honestly think I care if some old dude wants to get his kicks by seeing me naked?”

He smiles. “Well then, let’s give them a show and dance our way to the shower.”

And we do.