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CHAPTER ELEVEN

CHEETAH

I wake up in the middle of the night and reach over to the other side of the bed for Kam, but it’s cold and empty. Did she leave? Why does the thought of that hurt so much?

Would she really just leave without a word? The sex was off the charts. She can’t possibly consider walking away again.

I quickly scan my bedroom floor and see the pile of our clothes as we left them. She’s still here.

Even though I’m naked, I get up and quietly walk out of my bedroom and into my living room. I immediately see her standing at my most central floor-to-ceiling window, which overlooks the Philly skyline and the river. The view is spectacular and I’m not talking about what’s outside the windows.

Her back is to me and she’s naked, but her hourglass figure is illuminated by the city lights. What I’m looking at right now is far too beautiful to be real. It’s like a painting. I would pay big money for a piece of art that looks just like this .

“That view is what sold me on the place.”

She turns her head enough so that I can see her softly smiling profile. “It’s stunning. I like that the city is still bustling with excitement yet it’s peacefully quiet up here. I almost feel like a voyeur.” Her smile widens. “Now I know why you like it here so much.”

“You know I like to watch.” I walk up to her and rub her arms from behind. “Can’t sleep?”

She turns her face back toward the window and mutters, “I never sleep. Not since I was a little kid.”

“Why?”

She’s quiet for a brief moment before saying, “I guess my mind is always churning. It’s hard to turn off.”

I wrap my arms around her and kiss her shoulder. “It must be exhausting. Anything I can do to help?”

She leans her head back on my shoulder and looks up at me. “I wish. Sometimes it feels like I’ve been tired for eighteen years.”

I wonder what happened eighteen years ago.

“What do you think about when you’re awake?”

She lifts her head and stares out the window again. “It’s not what I think about when I’m awake. It’s what I dream of when I’m not.”

“And what’s that?”

She turns around and wraps her arms around my neck while pulling me close so her soft body is flush to mine. She shakes her head. “Nothing I care to talk about.” She softly kisses my lips before her uncharacteristically softened eyes meet mine. “Thanks for reminding me that there are a few good guys still out there.” She pats my chest with her hand. “But I should leave and let you sleep.”

I catch sight of the time on the clock in my kitchen. “It’s after three in the morning, babe. I’m not letting you leave alone in the middle of the night.”

She raises her eyebrows. “Letting me? ”

I rub her back. “It’s not safe. Don’t go. Please. I’ll make us a fire.” I smile. “I’ll even build a fort. I happen to be a great fort builder. Professional-level fort engineering is my specialty. You know I have six siblings and seventeen nieces and nephews, so creating mansion-quality forts comes easily to me.”

Her eyes light up. “Well, I suppose I need to see what professional-level fort engineering looks like. I’ll grab us some clothes.”

“Ooh. That’s a no-no. My adult forts are nudist forts. No clothing is allowed, and cuddling is mandatory. Oh, and there’s a confidentiality clause. Whatever is said in a fort stays in a fort. No exceptions. It’s like a mafia fort.”

She lets out a laugh. “There are a lot of rules in your nudist mafia fort. I’m not much of a rule follower.”

“What if I were to tell you that naked fort dwellers are permitted to make s’mores, but at the Gonzales nudist colony fort, we make s’mores with dark chocolate instead of milk chocolate?”

She runs her bottom lip through her teeth, and I have to will my cock not to ruin our moment by poking his head out. She’s just so damn sexy.

Her eyebrow then lifts slightly. “I suppose most nudist colonies prefer any food over weenie roasts.”

I chuckle as I nod in agreement. “True. And most nudist colonies screen Free Willy .”

She silently shakes in laughter. “Alright, kitten. Let’s see your fort and fire-building skills. They better be top-notch. I’ll be leaving a review online.”

Fifteen minutes later, a gigantic fort and a roaring fire are built. I used the all-white bedding from one of my guestrooms. The floor is covered in blankets and pillows. I have the white sheets hanging from chairs so that everything is covered except the opening facing the fireplace. I even found some LED fairy lights that I had bought when my nieces visited last year and strung them along the top of the fort. I’m happy with my finished product.

I grab the s’mores’ necessities as I join Kam inside the fort. She’s happily facing the fire, lying with her hands behind her head on the bed of pillows I created. I love how she’s completely exposed but confidently lays there as though she isn’t. I can see the reflection of the fire in her big, light brown eyes. It makes the gold flakes come out in full force.

I crawl into the fort with my hands full of food. “Impressed?”

She shrugs. “Only a little. Being naked while carrying two hot chocolates and twelve donuts at once,” she looks at my semi-hard dick, “ that would impress me.”

I let out a laugh. “Fair enough. I’ll be sure to keep more donuts on hand if you promise to come back again.”

I place everything on the blanket and lie down next to her. Our heads and shoulders are touching but the rest of our bodies aren’t. We both quietly stare into the fire for a minute or two before she sighs. “Why do you want me to come back?”

I turn to look at her, my face only a few inches from hers. “Is it so hard to believe that I enjoy spending time with you? That I’ve never met anyone like you? That I’m fascinated by you?”

She turns her head toward me and steels her face. “You just want to fuck me again.”

“That too because I’m wildly attracted to you,” I admit, “but I’m equally happy to talk to you, Kamryn.”

“What do you want to talk about?”

“Tell me why you don’t sleep.”

She turns her head away from me. “I have a lot of demons, Cruz . You don’t end up as fucked up as I am with a normal, healthy upbringing. ”

“Does this have to do with your mother?”

She turns toward me again and pinches her eyebrows together. “What makes you think that?”

“I don’t know. I’ve listened to every word you’ve ever said. You and Bailey are unusually tight, and I know you both are close with your father, but you never go home. You haven’t since you left for college. You never talk about your mother; except the one time you mentioned her not allowing you certain kid-like liberties when you were young. But I know she exists. I guess I simply put the pieces together.” And I may have googled Kam. Anytime she’s been asked about her family in interviews, she mentions her sister and father, never her mother.

She exhales a long breath. “I guess you’re not just a pretty face with a great ass and giant beach balls. Yes, we adore our father. Yes, Bailey and I are unusually close, even for twins. We’ve had to rely on each other for as long as I can remember. Our mother is a piece of shit, but that’s all you’re getting from me. Now it’s your turn. How’s your relationship with your family?”

I shrug. I’ve got nothing to hide. “Pretty good. My family life was always chaotic. You know I have a lot of siblings. I’m the middle one.”

“I can’t imagine. That must be crazy.”

“Good crazy. Two of my sisters butt heads a bit, but everyone mostly gets along well. My father is a mechanic who still works his ass off. My mother helps babysit all the grandkids. I talk to her a few times a week. I’m the only one of my siblings who lives out of town. I’m most definitely expected to move back when I retire. My status as an unmarried man who hasn’t given her more grandkids is a constant topic. Like you, she doesn’t sleep well. She obsessively cooks during the night, though I think she mostly stays up and dreams of ways to marry me off. I know she means well, but she drives me nuts about it. ”

“At least she cares about you. Be thankful.”

“I know, but it’s excessive. It’s the reason I only go home once a year for Christmas. In part, I can’t handle the pressure, but I also feel like I’m a disappointment.”

She rolls her eyes. “You’re a superstar baseball player who has a fuck ton of money. And you happen to be a good guy. A great guy. Why in the world would she be disappointed?”

“Money means nothing to them. Familia. Ninos. Those things are success to them. In that sense, I’m a failure.”

“That’s nuts.”

“That’s my family. My mother even has the woman picked out.”

She scrunches her face. “Ouch. Is she a troll?”

I let out a laugh. “Not even close. She’s beautiful, sweet, and comes from a good, honest family.”

“What’s the problem?”

I look Kam in the eyes. “I don’t know that it’s the life I want. What they want for me doesn’t excite me. As for the woman, she doesn’t challenge me. She doesn’t make me laugh. She’s…kind of boring.”

“Vanilla sex?”

“I wouldn’t know. I’ve never even kissed her. I’ve known her for all of her twenty-five years, and I’ve never once come close to touching her. I won’t lead her on. You can’t force it. I refuse to marry someone for anything other than true love.”

“Is that what you want? Marriage? A family? True love?”

“Doesn’t everyone want that?”

She shakes her head. “I don’t. Fucked up people shouldn’t bring kids into this world. My mother is exhibit one. I refuse to be exhibit two in the Hart family.”

“Everyone is a little fucked up.”

“Well, I’m a lot of it. ”

“Then what is it that you do want?”

She thinks for a moment. “To make a difference.”

Not the answer I expected. “How so?”

She’s quiet for a moment. “If I tell you something, can I trust that it stays between us? No one knows this, not even my sister.”

“Of course. I promise. I told you, what happens in a fort stays in a fort. Standard fort rules.” I make a show of crossing my heart.

She briefly covers her eyes with her hands. “I can’t believe I’m going to tell you this. I’ve never uttered the words out loud. Not even to myself.”

I squeeze her hand. “You can trust me, Kamryn.”

She nods. “I know. I don’t know why I feel like I can, but I know I can.” She lets out a breath. “I’m in law school.”

I sit up as my eyes widen in shock. Of all the things she could have said, that wasn’t what I expected in the slightest. “What? Where? When?”

She smiles. “It’s an online program. Obviously I can’t take a full course load, so it will take a while, but I’ve been doing it for over five years. I have less than two left. I don’t sleep so it’s not hard to make time to watch the lectures and read all the cases. I have a photographic memory. The tests are easy for me. I have straight A’s. I got a perfect score on the entrance exam which entitled me to a full scholarship. The program allows me to participate at my own pace. It’s been working for me.”

I grab her hand again. “Kam, that’s amazing.”

“You think?”

I nod enthusiastically. “Absolutely. Do you know what you want to do with your law degree?”

She shakes her head. “Just something that matters. That’s all I care about. I’ll graduate ahead of the Olympics. It’s kind of my post-Olympics career plan.”

“Why don’t you tell people? You should be proud. ”

She blows out a long breath, “People see me as the goofy, crazy, outrageous one. I have a rep to protect.”

I smile. “I certainly understand that. Well, I think it’s awesome. I have no idea what I’m going to do after baseball. It’s assumed that I’ll move home, start a family, and probably end up being a high school baseball coach. It’s not enticing to me at all.”

“You could easily play another ten years, but you could do commentary when you’re done. You certainly have the personality for it, and obviously you have a face for television.”

I shrug my shoulders as I lay back down. “Maybe. I never considered that before.”

“You should.”

“How do you get into it?”

“You have natural charisma and game knowledge. I think those are probably the two most important things. You could take some classes to learn how to properly channel it all.”

Hmm.

I look at the pile of candy, marshmallows, and crackers. “Want me to make you a s’more?”

She shakes her head. “No. I’m good.”

“I have some pineapples. Do you want those?”

She narrows her eyes at me. “How do you know that I eat pineapples?”

“I didn’t. I eat them because it’s supposed to make my spunk taste sweeter. Want to test that theory?”

She giggles. “I eat them because it’s supposed to make my honey pot taste good.”

“It’s working. I love the taste of your honey pot.”

She yawns and nuzzles into me. “The fire is nice. It’s soothing. I’ve never lived anywhere with a fireplace before. Thanks for staying up with me.”

“There’s nowhere else I’d rather be. ”

We talk for another two hours about nothing and everything. We both must drift off at some point because when I wake a few hours later, Kam is fast asleep on my chest with my arm wrapped around her. I’m happy she’s at peace enough to sleep with me. On me.

Like a psycho stalker, I lay there awake for another hour with her on top of me, stroking her hair. I wonder what haunts her. I’m not sure why, but I have this need to help her. To take care of her.

She eventually blinks her eyes open. Her big brown eyes look up at me. “Sorry.”

“Why are you sorry? I love that you were comfortable enough to sleep on me. It’s the best compliment in the world.”

Her face falls as she whispers, “Don’t fall for me, Cruz.”

Too late.

I answer, “I’ll try my best. Can we hang out? I want to spend more time with you.”

“Can you do casual? I’m not built for anything more.”

I nod. “I don’t see why not. I’ve never done anything else.”

She sighs. “I want you to see other people and I need you to be cool with me doing the same. This is not a relationship. It’s a…flingationship.”

I chuckle. “I’ve never heard that term.”

“I heard Nelly Furtado use it once in an interview. I loved it.”

“Nelly Furtado? I haven’t heard that name in forever.”

“She just released a new album. I love her. She’s funny as hell in her interviews. Just another in a long line of underrated women.”

I squeeze her tight. “I can live with a flingationship, Kam bam.”

She nods. “Okay. I think I’d like that.”

KAMRYN

I’m a little dazed as I walk into our apartment at around noon. I can’t seem to get rid of this big grin on my face. My fingertips move all over my body reliving everything we did. I think last night was one of the best of my life.

It wasn’t just the sex. It was the time spent in the fort too. We talked and laughed for hours. I’ve never spent an intimate night like that with a partner in my entire life.

As I walk through the door, I see Bailey on our sofa with Ripley sobbing in her arms. I suck in a breath. “What’s wrong?”

Ripley turns her face toward me. It looks like she’s been crying for hours. Her eyes are red rimmed and nearly swollen shut. She stutters, “I’m…I’m…I’m pregnant.”

I can’t imagine my face masking my complete and total shock. As far as I know, she hasn’t slept with anyone since we moved here. I know she went on one date with some random guy from the gym, but I haven’t heard of anything else. Then I remember her weird demeanor with Quincy last night, and I realize what’s going on.

“Is it Quincy’s?”

She steels her face. “It’s mine. I’ll be raising the baby alone.” Then she starts sobbing again. Wailing.

Bailey nods toward her open laptop. I glance at the screen long enough to see a headline about Quincy partying at a bar with some woman last night. It looks like he’s doing shots off her body. Asshole.

I internally laugh. For about ten hours my faith in men was restored. Easy come, easy go.

“Let’s go slash his tires. Maybe cut his curls in his sleep. No one will know it’s us. I have three black masks in a drawer. Don’t ask me why.”

Ripley lets out a giggle through her tears before shaking her head. “Thank you but I’ll pass. I just need to get through the next two weeks. I promised Arizona I would spend Thanksgiving with Layton so he’s not alone. After that, I think I’m going to move home.”

Arizona is on the other side of the world. With Layton massively depressed without her, she asked us all to stay in town to spend Thanksgiving with him. Quincy is hosting. Should be interesting.

“Home as in California?” I ask.

She nods. “My mom knows what I’m going through more than anyone else. I need her right now.”

June raised Ripley as a single mother. I don’t think Ripley even knows the name of her father. She’s definitely never met him. June loves Ripley so deeply that it’s almost palpable when you’re around the two of them.

Like Ripley, June is a tall, gorgeous redhead. Mama June, as I call her, was here a few weeks ago visiting. I think she banged the Cougars’ sexy coach, Dutton Steel, when she was in town. While Ripley is often embarrassed by some of her mother’s provocative antics, I know they’re extremely close and have always relied on each other. She’s lucky to have a mom like June. I would kill for that.

Suddenly panicked, I ask, “How long do you plan to stay with her?”

Ripley sighs as her face falls. “Indefinitely, Kam. I need her. I can’t do this alone.”

I swallow down the lump in my throat. “Does Arizona know?”

She shakes her head. “I want to tell her in person. I owe her that much after sneaking around with her brother for so long. She’ll be back toward the end of next month. I’ll fly in to have this conversation with her face to face. ”

I sit down on the sofa and pull her into a hug. “I love you and I’m here for you. Whatever you need.”

She hugs me back. “Thank you. I love you too. For now, I need to spend the day crying. Tomorrow, I’ll need help starting to pack everything.”

I nod. “How about ice cream and Top Gun ?” Top Gun is Ripley’s favorite movie.

She happily agrees, and we give her the fun, girly afternoon she desperately needs.