Page 74 of Of Nightmares & Fire (Elusive Umbra #1)

“This is bigger than us.”

“We will face it together. We have to.” I say, swallowing any fear I have over that statement and trying to appear stronger than I feel.

“I hope it’s enough.” He finally says after a long pause.

His fingers thread through my hair, and he pulls me into his chest. The steady rhythm of his heart matches the feet thundering on the ground as our friends and family approach us at a furious pace.

They are too late, though. The monster I hold in my gaze is more vicious than any beast that comes for my body.

I see the silent promise in his eyes. He will raze realms to protect me.

The most terrifying part? I would watch him do it if it meant that he would stay the nightmare that lives in my heart.

“Are you sure you’re ok?” Colette says again.

I give her a sidelong look, and she shrugs with her face scrunching up.

“Don’t look at me like that. You nearly just got killed by a monster that I thought was just legend.

There is no way that you are just ‘fine’ like you say.

” Her eyebrow jumps, and I release a heavy sigh.

“I will be fine. Right now, I just want to get this over with and get to Diemos. Are you sure there is nothing we can do to skip this?” I ask Zinya, who is standing with her arms crossed over her chest in the room with us.

It's the only way that Kyros would let me out of his sight. He instructed Zinya that she was “to stay on two fucking feet with her eyes fucking open and on me at all times.” Zinya’s lips have been pursed, and she’s been extra broody since we returned.

She wanted to talk to Kyros, but he shut her down, saying only “later,” before storming off with Mavros, Viltarin, and Rowan.

“I think the princess is stronger than we all think.” Zinya looks at me with that same expression that she’s been looking at me with since we got here. Something between anger and sadness.

“I know that she is strong. I’ve witnessed just how much so, plenty of times.

” Cole pins Zinya with a scalding look, and I take another deep breath, closing my eyes and then continuing to dress for the bonfire.

Kyros insisted that after I bathed, I rest. He said he personally would make sure that I got to sleep.

He sat on the bed until I finally closed my eyes and slept just as he told me to.

His voice was the last I heard, and no nightmares haunted that sleep.

“Has he returned yet?” I ask no one in particular as I look at my body and secure my blades. The one Kyros killed the Cerkin with is now cleaned and returned to me .

“I don't know, but he won't miss the— bonfire .” Zinya says, and Cole gives her the same skeptical look I have been wanting to give her.

“What's your deal?” My best friend asks, likely sensing the question I won't ask, and very slowly Zinya turns her gaze to Colette.

“My deal?” She asks coldly. Colette just fights fire with fire and quirks an eyebrow, giving her a bemused look. “My deal is that I’m a warrior and have been stuck on babysitting duty, while the real men go out and get their hands dirty. Excuse me if I’m a little pissed off.”

“I think we could all use a little fresh air. I’m sorry you’ve been stuck here with us.

” I say, and Cole grumbles something that sounds a lot like ‘You could just fuck off’ under her breath.

Zinya pins her with daggers. She shakes her head with an eye roll and turns to the window.

Her arms cross over her chest as she props herself on its edge, pointedly ignoring us in the way she has been lately.

As much as I want to leave right away, I do need sleep after the night and morning I’ve had, and it would be asinine to leave after dark.

Especially now that we know those monsters are not only real but can just show up out of nowhere.

Another thing Kyros said he would tell me about later.

The secrets he’s holding onto just keep growing, but even with them I can't help but feel the wings fluttering in my stomach every time I think of him.

Of his mouth on me. Of the words he whispered in my ear.

His claim. The spot on my shoulder burns like a burst of fire at the thought .

“Well, it’s time to go anyway. The sun is setting, and we have a little bit of a journey to get where we are going.

Kyros has just returned.” She says coldly, pushing from the wall and grabbing a scabbard that holds a sword she slings over her back.

“It looks a little cooler tonight, and we will be in the dunes. You may want to bring a cloak.” She doesn’t wait for our response before swinging the door open.

Mavros stands on the other side, smiling wide when it’s fully ajar.

He looks at the sour look on Zinya’s face, and his smile widens impossibly.

“Why so glum, Zinny?” He looks past her to me and winks before catching a fist in his stomach with a loud oof.

“I should do us all a favor and kill you in your sleep.” Zinya remarks and just looks at Kyros as he approaches.

They don't say anything, but I see the silent conversation they have with their eyes.

The same conversation they seem to have every time they see each other these days.

Mavros smirks at the exchange before shouldering past his brother and laughing as he runs down the hall and starts messing with Zinya again.

“Get the horses ready. No one rides alone. Doubles only for our group. It will be the same when we leave for Diemos in the morning. I was informed that Khol and Eidola were brought back to the stables. Make sure that they are not the horses we take tonight. They will rest until morning.” Kyros says in a low voice to Viltarin, who just nods, looking at me and then at Cole.

I see the slight twitch on his lips when he looks at her a little longer than necessary, and I can't help but look away with a smile .

“I'll come with you,” Cole interjects, and there is no way that my face hides anything of my surprise. “If that's ok, I mean…” She continues, her freckled face turning muddled with blush. Viltarin clears his throat with a smile.

“Of course.” He offers Cole his arm, and she puts a hand on my elbow with a squeeze.

Her eyes are saying everything she’s already expressed to me during our alone time today.

Talk to him. Tell him how you feel. Viltarin leads her away, and as they shrink in the distance and then turn toward the stairs, I become very aware that I am once again alone with Kyros.

“Where did you go?”

“Did you get good rest?” We both begin speaking at the same time. He clears his throat, his hand coming up to grip the back of his neck. I smile at him, and if I don’t know any better, I think I see a hue of pink rising into his cheeks.

“I slept better than I have in a while.” I answer his question, and he offers me his arm. I take it, and he guides me through the house. We walk in silence for a while. As he releases my arm, he threads his fingers through mine. The gesture feels intimate and loud at once.

“When this celebration first started, it wasn’t what it is today. It started out sorrowful. The kingdom was no longer what it was. Our loved ones were slaughtered for the mere fact that we had magick or supported those who practiced in the way of the Neer.” He says, his hand tightening around mine.

“I was young. The first one was a year after your father took the throne. I was angry. I didn’t want anything to do with the celebration.

That year it was less of a celebration and more so a day of remembrance.

It all seemed to be a waste of time; I remembered every day what had happened to my parents.

I saw it happen with my own eyes.” His eyes go distant for a brief second, as though he's now remembering that very moment.

“I sat there and watched the flames that were supposed to burn away the grief and bring peace to those souls who enter the fire and cross over to Runerth, and only thought about how the fire that once burned inside of me was only smoke and shadows now.”

“I’m sorry. It's not enough, I know, but it's all I have.” I tell him, pulling on his hand as I come to a stop. “I'm not my father. I never wanted any of this.” I tell him honestly.

“I know, Shula.” He takes my other hand, threading our fingers together there too.

“It’s ironic how life has brought us together.

” He continues. His eyes flick over my face.

I notice his gaze flickering from my forehead, eyes, lips, and slowly, I see the subtle flattening of his lips.

Regret . Does he regret what this—whatever this is—has become?

Does he regret me because of who my father is?

“Come on, you two! You will have plenty of time to talk on the back of the horse. Daylight is waning!” Mavros calls out, his usual grin plastered to his face as though he is only one sentence away from mischief.

“He’s right. Let's go, Shula. One more night of forgetting. Right?” My lips force a practiced smile, but the way his brows twitch down, I sense he knows it is fake, but I say the lie anyway.

“Of course. One more night of forgetting.