Page 43 of Of Nightmares & Fire (Elusive Umbra #1)

Chapter thirty-three

Astraea

Kellan had thought of everything when planning for our travels on a whim, it appears.

The horses couldn’t be packed beforehand, but Kellan sent some of his most trusted men on the mission of securing us what he thought we might need.

Much to Kyros’ dismay, Kellan has been an asset to this mission before it had even begun.

“Are you ok?” Kellan asks me again. It has to be probably the tenth time since Kyros began shuffling through the items that Kellan brought back.

Kellan went to the location where the supplies were stored on his own, while Kyros watched over me while I continued to sleep.

I’ve surmised that it was longer than minutes, like Kyros had originally said; given how sweat-drenched Kellan was when he returned, the trip couldn’t have been quick.

“Yes, Kellan. I promise .” I level him with a look that says, 'Don't ask again,’ and he blows his breath out of his cheeks, causing a laugh to bubble up out of me. “You worry more than an old lady. Worry about what lies ahead of us instead, would you?” He makes a pft sound as he cuts his eyes back to Kyros, where he is now crouched down. Kyros said we would eat and then need to leave. Both he and Kellan agree we don’t have much time.

The fight has surely stopped, and the search for me and, undoubtedly, the missing suitors and their guards has begun.

“You’re sure you trust him? You barely know him.” He asks, and I groan dramatically. “Ok, ok. Fine. I will keep my mind open… I guess it’s just hard to see you with someone else.” He speaks more quietly, and my annoyance fades.

“It’s—complicated. I’m not sure there is an us . Not entirely anyway…” I say, my brows furrowing as I look at Kyros’ back. “But Kellan, you will always have a special place in my heart. You have been a friend when I had no one else. Without you, we wouldn’t even be here now.”

“I know.” He says, and I sense that he wants to say more, but I am worried that if he or I do, it will only cause ill feelings between us. Feelings we don’t have time for as fugitives on the run. Well, I guess I am considered “kidnapped,” as my father will surely spin to the kingdom.

I place my hand on Kellan’s shoulder, and we hold each other's stare for a moment. I give him a sad smile, rubbing under my palm placatingly before I turn and head over to where Kyros is. Kellan doesn’t follow; instead, he chooses to check on the horses.

I get that he needs his space. It doesn’t mean that I like him feeling alienated, though.

“Hey,” I smile coyly, sitting across from Kyros.

He looks up as he strikes a flint. The stones create sparks that catch embers on the dry desert grass and branches Kellan also collected.

He resumes his attention on building the fire.

When the flames grow, the fire between us casts its golden glow out in a globe around us, now that night has fully fallen.

His eyes flick back to me as I sit, cradling my knees to my chest. He holds my stare for a moment without saying or doing anything.

It’s honestly embarrassing how just a look from this man gets me all hot and bothered.

Cole would be laughing so hard if she saw how much I was blushing under his gaze.

He narrows his eyes briefly. It’s not a menacing look, more pensive than anything. Like he is trying to figure me out.

“Is the guard bringing the horses around?” He asks, barely gazing over his shoulder as he stands, and in one hand offers me a bundle of fabric, which appears to be holding a slice of bread and some cheese, and in the other hand, a bladder of water. I nod, accepting the rations.

“Kellan.” I correct him, and he grunts.

“Good, we need to be on our way. This journey is only going to get harder, Shula, but no matter what we come across, please just trust me. I need you to work with me, especially if we come across any travelers. ”

“Do you think we will? Come across any travelers, I mean?” I ask between bites.

“Yes.”

“Are travelers not kind to one another?” My brows drop as I chew and wait for his response. I don’t have to wait long.

“There are many kinds of travelers we might meet along the way, but my hope is that we won’t have to be traveling like this for long. Once my magick replenishes… we can get to the dunes before Creshian much faster.” He says.

“What do you mean? And how long does your magick take to replenish? Do you have to do something to get it to, like, recharge or something?” I ask, perplexed and unabashedly interested.

It’s something I have always wondered about: how magick works?

I was never able to learn anything about it outside of hearsay because of my father’s ban on all things magick.

Kyros laughs, and my brows jump as my eyes snap to him.

My concentration on the food that sits on my lap breaks entirely at the sound of it.

The many questions buzzing around in my head disappear and nothing else matters.

My cheeks blaze as hot as the fire in front of us when I take in the smile on his face, and I can’t help the way my lips curl in response.

He realizes what has me so caught off guard and quickly coughs to cover it.

He wipes the smile from his mouth with his hand.

My heart flips at the sight of the moment of vulnerability he just gave me, even if he didn’t mean to, before it is gone again.

“So many questions.” His smile returns slightly, just a curl at the corner of his mouth, and I roll my lips, biting down on the bottom one, hiding my own. “We will have time to answer them, but right now you need to finish eating, and I need to pack this onto the horses. Will you be ok alone?”

“I’ve been alone most of my life. I think I will survive.

” I halfheartedly laugh with a shrug. Kyros doesn’t look amused, and instead of walking away, he rounds the fire and pulls me up to stand.

I scramble to keep the contents of my rations in the fabric as I swallow the food I had just put in my mouth with a cough. “What the hell?”

“You are not alone in that sense. Not anymore.” His eyes bore into me as though he wants to dig a hole into my brain and plant the words there so they grow to be true.

It’s intense and unexpected, but I feel like that is a common factor with Kyros since I’ve known him.

He is all darkness and secrets, knowledge and power.

His hand comes up and cups my jaw softly, his eyes flicking down to my lips and back to my eyes.

“Not while you’re with me.” I swallow hard and nod.

“Be truthful, Shula. Will you be ok alone?”

“I don’t want to be alone.” The words tumble from my lips as though he pulled them out by an invisible thread, and before I can even process why I said them, his lips press to mine.

The kiss isn’t like before. It's soft and over before I can blink. I am completely shocked by the quickness of it, and the way that Kyros then takes the food from my hand, ties the cloth around what is remaining, and tucks it into the small leather bag that now hangs across my body. He doesn’t say another word as he gathers up the things that were left around me, then stomps out the fire. Kicking sand over it for good measure .

When he offers me his hand, I look up at his eyes. Reassurance radiates from him. I place my hand in his.

“Then you won’t be.” He says as he turns away, grabs the leather bags that were at his feet, and guides me to where the horses are waiting.

Kellan is looking up at the dark sky, where the first of the stars are starting to flicker into existence.

He sits in the sand, his arms resting on his knees and his hands clasped together between them.

He looks over when he hears us coming and purses his lips when his eyes drop to where my fingers are laced with Kyros.

“Horses are nearly ready.” He clips, standing and brushing the sand from his trousers.

He did as Kyros suggested and lost the armor my father requires of his guards.

It seems bizarre to see him in anything else.

Even when we were alone in the past, he would come in the armor, and when he wasn’t wearing it, I didn’t do much looking…

more feeling. I clear my throat and turn away from him with that thought, placing my hand in the center of the massive horse's nose.

The velvety softness of it makes me smile as I thank the animal for giving us passage through the tough desert. The hairs on the back of my neck prickle, sensing eyes on me, and when I turn, they are none other than the black-as-coal stare of Kyros Kahzal.

“He likes you.” Kyros chuffs with the half-smirk I have begun to look for. “Khol doesn’t like anyone. Not even me most days.” He says, rubbing his large hand down the horse's neck and ending the caress with a pat of endearment .

“Well, it seems Khol has good taste.” I tease, nudging Kyros with my elbow, and his smile widens a fraction as he begins adjusting the reins. His eyes shift from me to the horse.

“You likely remind him of his previous rider. She was beautiful, full of fire, and revered by anyone she allowed to get close. Even those who weren’t close eventually.

” Something dark passes over Kyros’ eyes, and the air between us feels like more space than I have felt around him since he realized I had lied about who I was.

“Anyway… it was a long time ago. It’s time we get on with it.

” He continues gruffly, without looking at me.

“Are you ready?” His jaw ticks as he secures the ties on the saddlebag.

The sudden shift in his tone and the roughness of his movements have me eyeing him curiously, but I don’t pry.

“Yes. I’m ready.”

“Good, it looks like your guard is ready to say his goodbyes.” He juts his chin out just as Kellan reaches us.

“Are you sure you don’t want the other horse? I can make my way on foot.” He asks Kyros, and my brow scrunches.

“We have no use for a third horse. We don’t even need the second. The princess doesn't know how to ride on her own yet, but Mavros would kill me if I left Eidola behind.” Kyros says, gesturing to the blonde mare.

“Wait. You aren’t coming with us?” I ask Kellan with panic, and he side-eyes Kyros before taking my hands.

“No, beautiful. You know I have my family I need to think about. You have a plan to save the kingdom, and I will do anything and everything I can from within to aid you. Kyros says he has ways of getting messages to me without anyone knowing. I want you to go.” His eyes dance over my face, and a sad smile brackets his mouth, while tears build in my eyes.

“You will always be special to me, in more ways than you know, but to this kingdom? You are going to be so much more than what your father had planned for you. I know it in my bones.” He releases one of my hands and cups my cheek, and as a tear falls, he wipes it away with his thumb.

I can feel Kyros trying to give us space, but his eyes have always only ever felt like fire when they were on me, and now is no different as he watches this intimate moment with another man.

“Keep her safe. You may have magick, but I still know how to kill a man.” Kellan says sternly, without looking away from me, but we all know his words are for Kyros.

“Be careful and tell Colette I will miss her and her constant shenanigans with my men, too.” I smile and choke on a laughed sob, but he doesn’t let me say anything in return before he turns away from me and begins walking into the night.

“My promise stands true, Kellan! I will always remember everything you’ve done for me.

” He doesn’t so much as turn his head as my words trail after him, and I can’t help but cover my mouth with my hand as a sob tries to break free.

Not having many people I can say I rely on in life makes saying goodbye to the ones who matter that much harder.

Even though I hope it's not goodbye forever, in this kingdom you never truly know.

Especially when he is going back to serve a king like my father.