Page 53 of Of Nightmares & Fire (Elusive Umbra #1)
Chapter forty-one
Astraea
My heart is pounding in my chest with both anger and adrenaline, deprivation and elation. It’s a war of emotion stirring through my blood and making me feel sick. My feet falter, threatening to send me to my knees, but Mavros holds my arm in his firmly.
“Hey, you ok?” He says, concern bracketing his mouth.
“It's been a long journey.” I say in response; not sure what I should say or not.
The city we enter is similar to the Eathian capital.
Smaller in size with no looming palace in the distance.
Instead, trees line the horizon. The scent of their wood wafting through the night air like a fresh drink of water on the hottest of days.
The dirt on the ground is less sandy here even if dunes lay just beyond the other side of the small village.
My feet actually cool walking on the soil, rather than the heat from the sand that holds onto the sun's viscous fire.
An ear-piercing screech pulls my attention away from the new world around me and questions in Mavros’ stare, and in the blink of an eye, I am being tackled to the ground by a blaze of fiery red hair and long squeezing arms. The air is knocked from my lungs as we go plummeting to the hard-packed ground, and I hear curses and laughs from all around.
Then, all sounds around me are muted by the sobs jolting my body as Cole and I cry. Finally together again.
Our cries turn to laughter when she lifts off of me and we see each other’s faces.
Even in the low firelight of a nearby post, I can see the blotchy red spots all over her face.
Her hair is a wild mess and I’m sure I look the same.
Pressing up, she gives me her hands and pulls me to my feet but I refuse to let go of her.
My eyebrows hike, eyes widening when I take in what she is wearing. The dark-colored pants do nothing to cover her form; they are skin tight. Her arms are bare, the top nearly as snug as the bottoms. She smiles when she sees the shock on my face.
“Things are different away from the palace. Women don’t have to constantly be covered with the same drapes we dress the windows with.” She laughs. “And, they are teaching me to fight! I never thought it would be something I loved so much.”
“Yea, and I never thought that she would be any good…” The guard I recognize as Viltarin comes up behind her, holding his nose wi th a bloody rag. Mavros slaps Viltarin on the back, laughing and holding his stomach.
“And you are the guard Ky put on princess duty?” He says with a wide smile, pulling a questioning look over at me. Even Mavros, who has always seemed to have a lively personality, seems different here. Happiness radiates from all of them, and I find my own lips trying to pull up at the corners.
“Speaking of princesses. I think she needs a bit of rest. Maybe you can take her and help her get cleaned up? Bring her to the tavern when you’re all done, and we will get her some good food.
None of that shit we had to have before.
” Mavros says to Colette and nudges me with his elbow when he speaks of the tavern food.
“Come on, you are staying with me.” Cole says, and something seems to flicker in my chest. I look back the way we came, toward the area where we left Kyros and Zinya.
I can’t see past the darkness. If they are still in the same spot, I have no way of knowing.
As much as I want to talk to Kyros, to demand answers…
I also don’t want to see him right now. I can’t be around him knowing that he is keeping things from me.
He asked me to trust him. Told me that he doesn’t go back on his promises, but how can I believe anything he says? He brought you back to Cole.
Colette hooks her arm in mine and steers me away from the two men as Mavros makes more fun of Viltarin.
She rubs my arm, and when I look at her, I feel better just being in her presence, like everything might just be ok.
As though I didn’t just stare down a manticore and watch as Kyros used terrifying and beautiful magick to wreak havoc on a clan of Scylia pirates.
Is this what my life is going to be like away from the castle? Battles and blood? Magick and malice?
“Where is the suitor?” Cole wiggles her brows, and I blink confused at her.
“Who?” I ask. The grin she had on her face falls, and she looks at me like she is seeing me for the first time.
“Are you ok?” Cole asks, and I nod. She doesn’t ask again, and she doesn’t say anything else.
Instead, she looks over her shoulder, in the direction of the desert we just walked in from.
Toward the shadows that hold Kyros and his secrets.
She stays silent even when I still don’t answer, just points to a narrow set of stairs on the side of a two-story wood cottage.
The stairs creak as we climb. I can’t help but look up, toward the blackened sky and the sparkling stars that litter the sky like diamonds.
When we reach the top, Cole fumbles with the door, and I close my eyes with my face skyward.
Is this who I am meant to be? Am I running from one problem to the next?
An endless cycle of pain? An endless cycle of wondering if I am making the right choice?
“Thank you, Cole. I know this is a huge change for you, and you did it for me.” I say, tears welling in my eyes as I look at the worn wooden door.
“Hey, you know I’m doing it for me too. Palace living isn’t all it’s cracked up to be…
doting on a princess all the time…” She makes a groaning ugh noise and then smiles when I look at her.
She bumps her shoulder into mine. “I wouldn’t have it any other way.
I’m just glad that Kyros got you here safely.
I could tell the others were getting worried. Divine knows I was. ”
The mention of Kyros has my body heating with anger and longing.
I don’t want to think about him right now because every time I do, I remember the words I don’t understand and the searing heat his touch causes.
She will be the death of you. She will be the death of us all.
And even though I know he is keeping things from me, I crave being in his presence.
Colette pushes the door open and holds it for me as she steps inside.
The room is darker than outside, and I blink as my eyes try to adjust. She makes some noise moving around the shadowy space, but I am frozen just inside the door.
Frozen with my thoughts, and after some more noise, Cole finally turns around with a lantern in her hands.
“This place doesn’t have warm water like we are used to in your chambers, but I do have a basin of clean water. I already prepared some clothes for you. You can clean up, and if you want to sleep or…” Her words trail off as she sees the tear roll down my cheek. “Oh, Astraea. What’s wrong?”
“It’s nothing.” I try to smile and wipe away the tears.
I'm tired of feeling this way. I want the anger to just take over. I want to be strong and know my place in the world, but sometimes I feel as though I am not enough and the kingdom is just too big. She narrows her eyes on me. “I’m just feeling emotional. I’m glad to see you.
” I say, leaving out how I'm feeling about the rest.
“I'm glad to see you too.” She looks at me with a sad smile, then sets the lantern down and goes around lighting a couple more.
The room is more visible now, and I see that it's a cozy space.
One semi-large bed in the corner with a window at its side.
Surely, looking out into the trees beyond the village border.
It's too dark to see for certain. The bed is covered in fluffy linens and pillows in different shades of tan.
There is a chair in the far corner facing the center of the room, and the walls are adorned with framed art in a style I have not seen before.
Cole pulls open a chest at the end of the bed. The hinges squeak, and then it makes a loud clap as she closes it. She lays a small bundle of clothing on the bed and looks at me mischievously.
“What?” I ask, looking at the clothing and realizing it's pretty much the same as what she is wearing. Similar to what Zinya wears, save the leather armor. “Cole! I can’t.”
“But you can! I know you. You love climbing trees, getting yourself into things that are not easy to get out of.
I thought it was strange at first too, to wear breeches like men, but it's— freeing.” She smiles, looking down at my chest and the holster I have crossed there.
The blades that are strapped to me are visible, and her smile widens.
“You are already halfway there. It's just another step to freedom.” She taps the sheathed blade.
My gaze drops to leather, and I nod, realizing that she is right.
I unclasp the holster, removing it first, then pull my skirt up to reveal the belt that holds the blade at my thigh.
A laugh bursts from her, loud and hearty.
“Don’t laugh.” I pin her with a look, and she rolls her lips between her teeth before shaking her head.
Rolling my eyes, I continue to undress. She shows me to the basin and allows me to wash up.
Reluctantly, I slide into the unfamiliar feel of the leggings.
They are tight, but not constricting. The tunic is at least a little less fitting than Colette’s.
It’s cream-colored, the style similar to the one Kyros wears, and it has a leather tie between my breasts.
I gather the weapons once again, strapping them to my body, and then stand in front of the long mirror that is leaning against the wall on the far side of the room.
Cole comes up behind me with a brush and begins working out the knots that have found their way into my dark hair. When she starts braiding the lengths to twine my hair up the way my father always wanted, I place my hand on hers.
“No.” I say softly. The memory of Kyros telling me he likes my hair better down flashes through my mind.
The way he hummed in my ear. The way his breath puffed out over my face.
The night that I wasn’t just a princess, but for the first time I felt as though I was— seen .
“I want it down.” Warmth fills her gaze as she nods in understanding and continues to brush out my hair.
My eyes lock with those of my reflection.
I used to look at my own blue irises and see a lack of warmth, a hollow frozen sea of nothing.
The pale blue is only a whisper of color in my monochrome world.
Now, it's like they are alive with energy—a flash of lightning caught within my gaze.
I reach down, strapping the last blade on my thigh, and when I rise, so does my chin.
I left the palace to be my own person; live my own life.
It's about time I start claiming it for myself.