Page 2 of Of Nightmares & Fire (Elusive Umbra #1)

Chapter two

Astraea

Colette dips the white cloth into the bowl on the side table as I lay on my stomach on the settee.

I bury my face into the pillow to attempt to hide my cries of pain as she cleans the wounds.

They aren’t nearly as bad this time as they have been before.

As she lays the lavender-scented solution onto my back, I hiss as the cold healing tonic makes contact.

“Shhh, I know it hurts, but you know if he catches us, he will be inclined to serve punishment to you again and likely kill me for spite.” I bite down on my silk pillow as she continues to gingerly clean the wounds.

She’s right; my father was a cruel man and has only become an even more cruel king—the longer he sits on the throne, the worse he becomes.

While many see his rule as powerful and ironclad, I see him for what he is.

Scared of losing it all. That’s why he punishes anyone who speaks out of turn, anyone who defies his laws, and most of all, anyone who is deemed to possess any inkling of the magick that used to flourish in this kingdom.

“Thank you for taking care of me.” The pillow muffles my words.

“What are you going to do?” Her question takes me by surprise, and I turn my head, removing my face from where it was burrowed into the pillow. I stare at her through swollen eyes.

“What do you mean?” I ask, looking away when I see the concern she is pinning me with.

“I saw the look on your face when you came out of the dining hall. I know you. That look in your eyes was determination. Like the time you were punished for attempting to climb the tree in the courtyard only to make it halfway and be snatched down by a guard.” The corner of my mouth tugs up the smallest amount at the memory.

“You had the same look in your eyes then, when you were just ten years old. You were determined to climb up that tree because you were told you couldn’t. Do you remember what you told me?”

“If I’m going to pay the price, I may as well earn the prize.” My smirk now widens to a full smile. “This is why I love you.”

“So are you going to tell me?” She persists, and my smile falls.

I want to tell her it’s something trivial like climbing a tree or staying out past dark, but the truth is, this could affect us both.

So I need her to understand that I can’t tell her my plans, not in full anyway.

I don’t want to risk her life. I won’t. Tears fill my eyes as I move to a sitting position.

Colette helps me, holding one hand, and guides me up so I don’t brush my back on anything.

When I’m sitting upright, my front covered with a blanket, I meet her pale green eyes.

“You’re leaving.” It’s not a question, not really.

She sees the answer without my spoken words.

She can see the truth in my eyes, and I hate the heartbreak I see in hers.

Tears blot out my vision, and I blink them away before standing and placing a dark slip over my head.

Even the softest of fabric, fit for a princess, rubs across the wounds painfully.

“I love you, Colette. You are more than a best friend to me. You have been like a sister.”

“Stop.” Her tone is firm even though the word is whispered, for our privacy, and I turn around to face her once again.

“Don’t say anything else. I don’t need to know the details.

Just know that I am here for you if you ever need me.

You know how to call for me. Just as we did as kids.

It’s better to face your chances out there than it is for you to die slowly here.

” My mouth curls up in a tight-lipped smile, more grief than happiness in it, causing the tears to spill and mark the gray stone floor.

“Like a moth drawn to a flame,” I whisper in her ear as I pull her into a hug.

She’s careful not to touch my wounded back, but the pain has already begun dissipating from the healing bath she gave it.

I place my hand on the back of her head.

Her red hair is down, and I bury my nose in it as I hug her tightly.

The smell of earth and sweet jasmine fills my nose, and I do everything I can to imprint it into my mind.

There is no one I will miss more than Colette .

“We will dance in the heat or burn in the flame, but either way, together we stay.” She says in answer. The line we have told each other from the beginning. Only this time, we won’t be together. Not physically, anyway.

With one more look into my eyes, her bottom lip wobbles before she slowly leans in and kisses my cheek.

She moves to walk away but looks down at her hands, which grip my forearms. Her fingers blanched with how tightly she’s holding on.

The tears that have been building in her eyes gently cascade down her heavily freckled face before she swipes them away and rushes from the room.

Leaving me alone in the dimly lit bedchamber with only the pain of losing one of the only people I have close enough to love.

Leaving me alone to plan either the end or the beginning of my life.

While my father is a smart man, he is also a creature of habit.

So I know when I pull the heavy door to my chamber open, it will be Aeron standing guard at night.

The older gentleman is already fast asleep in the chair to my left, his head tipped back and jaw slack, and his soft snores fill the empty hallway.

Ever so slowly, I pull the door shut behind me.

When it creaks loudly, Aeron’s mouth shuts, stopping his snoring and plunging me into silence.

My face scrunches up as I wait on bated breath.

I blink slowly and release my breath when his mouth falls open once more and the first rumbling snore echoes through the hall.

Holding my boots in one hand and my satchel in the other, I pad down the corridor toward the staff stairwell.

I know it’s not likely any of them will be up and walking around at this hour, but guards will surely be on the main stairs.

The entrance is covered by a tapestry with my mother’s image on it; as I pull it back, it almost appears that she is nodding down at me, giving me her approval.

I have to think that she would be proud of me for choosing this.

Choosing to run away from the man who ruins so many lives.

The man who took hers. Letting the heavy fabric fall behind me sends me into complete darkness, and I curse under my breath at myself for forgetting a lantern. I can’t turn back now.

I continue my descent, quietly and meticulously, with my forearm as my guide. I let it rub along the rough stone wall to lead me to my destination. A flicker of light at the end of the stairs and a shadow moving in the room at the doorway causes my feet to falter, and I miss a step.

“Shit.” The word is only a whisper as I catch myself on the wall, but it is loud enough in the quiet room that the person the shadow belongs to darkens the doorway with their body.

“Who’s there?” His voice is deep and unrecognizable.

I press my back against the stone, holding my breath, hoping that with a moment of silence, he will think it was nothing.

Perhaps the wind outside, or an animal causing a ruckus.

He steps into the shadow of the stairs. All I can do is listen to the pounding pulse that’s rushing in my ears and think about how my first attempt to run away from the life that is meant to be my noose has failed before I even made it outside the castle walls.

Then his shadow moves, and the dim light from the small staff kitchen is in view once more.

After a moment of silence, I let my breath out of my cheeks and creep forward.

Once I reach the doorway, I peek around the corner to find the room thankfully empty.

I used to sneak down to this kitchen when Sienna was on staff.

Before my father had her killed. He said she had magick and was plotting against him, but as I got older, the more I understood that it was my friendship that killed her.

My father never wanted me to become close to anyone.

She wasn’t the first nor the last, but she is the one who helped me put a name to what was happening.

Lies.

My father was lying to everyone in the kingdom.

Sienna didn’t have magick. She was, however, a part of the Neer.

A group of people who support the use of magick in healing and good welfare.

She told me about it when I had come into the kitchen after a particularly bad punishment from my father.

She had brought a woman into the castle, and together they put on salves and said incantations over me for healing.

It was the quickest I’ve ever recovered.

Sometimes I wonder if it was that night that caused her death.

Poking around the room, I pull as many items as I feel reasonable from the cupboards and drawers.

Pulling the canvas bag I have strapped across my body open, I shove bread, cheeses, and smoked meat in for my journey.

I don’t know how long it will be until I find somewhere to settle, but I won’t be hungry along the way.

At the last minute, I see a knife sitting atop the wood block suited for chopping, and wrap it with a cloth before sliding it into my bag too.

I know the realm is vicious, especially for those living near the outer rim of the capital.

I will be ill-prepared even bearing a knife, with no self-defense training, but it has to be better than nothing.

Deciding I’m ready to continue, I crack the door that leads to a narrow hall.

The end of the passage leads to the courtyard.

Once outside, that is where my real mission will be.

There will be guards at all exits. I won’t get out easily, but if I’ve learned anything from my father, it’s that anything worth having is worth working for.

With that last thought, I step out into the cool night air.

A wide smile spreads across my face at the luck I must have conjured because the guard at the closest exit is fast asleep.

His hands are folded across his mound of a belly, and his chair is tipped back, resting against the stone wall at his back, and his cloak hood is draped over his eyes.

I laugh inwardly at my father for employing only the best guards for the palace.

The guards that run the kingdom beyond the palace walls are of the more…

questionable variety. Their nobility only extends to how much coin they can trick out of the commoners.

I’m dumbfounded at the ease with which I cross the courtyard.

Running, I only look back once I have climbed the nearest tree and hopped over the battlement.

I slide down the other side, landing with a laugh.

I clap my hand over my face in astonishment as I turn around and look up at the tall sandstone wall— I’m free.

Pulling the cloak up to cover my face as much as possible, I can’t help the smile that takes over my face as I take my first step toward town.

The next step to getting away: find a convoy that will be heading to another town or, preferably, another kingdom.

I will pay for passage to leave with them.

One thing I know for certain: I cannot do this alone; there is no doubt in my mind.

If the dunes didn’t kill me; the sand pirates would surely do the job.

I may not have fighting skills, so the only thing I have to escape is reading.

I have learned all I could about the people I never got to see.

The land I was surrounded with but never ventured to.

I would have to leave with a convoy. There is safety in numbers when out on the dunes.