Page 9

Chapter Nine

Asteria

With my eyes closed, I didn’t have to look into the swirling Aurora taking up Calix’s eyes. I couldn’t take it right now.

Magic . I needed to focus on calling my magic. If Calix truly knew who my parents were, I needed that information. I wanted to shake him until the information shook out from him, but I could understand his reasoning, as much as I hated it. I wouldn’t want him to tell me only for it to turn out to be wrong.

That would be even worse.

So I tried to do as he said. I tried to look inside myself and find the place I felt before when my magic erupted out of me in that great burst of light. But I couldn’t find it.

I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to force myself to connect to… something. I could still feel the magic all around me. I could sense it emanating from Calix. I could perceive the night magic in the very ground itself, floating through the air on invisible currents of energy. But inside of me… nothing responded.

I let out a screech of impotent frustration as I opened my eyes.

“I can’t find it.” I ground out.

Calix’s brow rose at my tone, or possibly my screeching, but he urged me on nonetheless, “Try again.”

I glared at him as I tried, again and again. But I just… couldn’t. I watched Calix as his brow furrowed, and he began pacing in a circle around me. “Why don’t you try shifting? See if that gets us anywhere?”

I rolled my eyes, “Yes, because that sounds so much easier.”

A soft laugh hit my ears, and I whipped around to see Calix was smiling. I glared back at him.

“Is this funny to you?” I demanded, my hands going to my hips.

“You’re adorable when you’re frustrated.” He smiled wider, and I tilted my head, giving him a look that certainly conveyed how unimpressed I was with his response.

He just shook his head at me. “Try to shift.”

“This is ridiculous!” I threw my hands up in the air. “I can’t even find the magic inside me, let alone figure out how to shift. What exactly do you expect me to do? Just magically know how?!” My rage rose inside me, fast and consuming, more intense than it had been since the magical cage I’d been kept in was unlocked. It felt familiar and comfortable, and I let myself sink into it.

“I don’t know how to do this!” I practically screeched at him. But the bastard of a mate I apparently now had just kept smiling, making my rage rise higher and hotter, as he stepped forward.

“Are you sure you aren’t, maybe not consciously, but perhaps subconsciously , avoiding connecting to your magic because you don’t want to?” he asked softly, staring down at me intensely.

I rocked back on my heels, staring down those gorgeous purple eyes that I currently wanted to gouge out. I ground my teeth before I opened my mouth to spit venom back at him, “You think I’m doing this?! I want to know who my parents are! I want to be whole!”

I raised my hands and pushed as hard as I could against those stupidly broad shoulders.

Only, I’d forgotten my new Fae strength. He went skidding backward, catching himself before he could fall completely.

Fucking Nox.

But he just righted himself with a smirk, meeting my wide and furious eyes. “I think it’s easy to live with the knowledge that being Fae was something done to you, and harder to live with the knowledge that this is what you’ve always been. You hated the Fae for most of your life. And now here you are, Fae yourself. You have always been Fae, Asteria. You were never human. And embracing your magic, or your animal? That means accepting that truth. That this isn’t just something that happened, it’s who you are .”

His words felt like a dash of cold water, despite the way they heated my bloodstream. The truth slapping me in the face.

He was right .

I didn’t want to face what I was. What I always had been. I knew it. I’d even said it, but I hadn’t truly accepted it.

I wasn’t human. I was never human.

All those years I spent living as one were nothing but an illusion. Magic cast for some reason I couldn’t even fathom. Only that I was probably in danger then, and likely in danger now with the spell broken. But I would never learn the truth if I couldn’t figure out who to ask, and considering I was a baby at the time, my birth parents were the best bet for answers. And I couldn’t confirm who they were without my magic.

I used to fantasize about living a better life all the time. I’d look at the stars and dream of being a noble lady or a princess. Of handsome princes and kings fighting for my hand. Of a life where I wasn’t a slave. The knowledge that it could have been my life had things been different stung in ways I couldn’t explain.

Especially since I hated most of those who had lived that life. I always thought humans were better because they lived more truly. But now… now I didn’t know anything. I was so confused. So lost. Like I’d been scattered to the winds.

I closed my eyes as I fought with myself, but I opened them as my rage grew hotter, that burning in my bloodstream, fighting to be let out. I coughed, blinking as a trail of smoke escaped my lips. I looked wildly at Calix, who only smiled widely. I coughed again, and again, until…

A stream of fire exploded from my mouth, while all my bones seemed to… shift . Starlight exploded out around me as my body changed. As the world grew farther and farther from me. My back ached with pure release as something unfurled and lifted me from the ground.

Wings beat as I rose higher.

Wait… Wings?

Confused, I looked down to see my body.

Silver scales highlighted with purple shone under the light of the sun. I paused, looking at myself in shock, only to feel my much heavier body begin to fall.

“Flap your wings!” Calix called from below, and I instinctively listened as my new wings, finally freed, beat against the air.

Calix watched me with awe written all over his face. I let out a roar, fire blasting out of my maw.

I was… a dragon ?

How was this possible? Only royals from Day and Night Kingdoms had dragon forms.

So many things began clicking into place. I let my body soar on autopilot as I worked it out in my own mind. Remembering…

Emmie gossiping about Day not having an heir.

The prince and queen of Day Kingdom staring at me on Placement Day.

Soren being sent by Queen Aurelia to rescue me.

Was this really happening?

I let myself land, my massive body taking up more space than I could phantom as my tail hit a tree, accidentally knocking it over. I winced and willed my body to shift back, taking in a long breath as my body actually listened.

I blinked rapidly. Trying to sort out my thoughts.

“You’re so beautiful, my réalta,” Calix murmured, awe and wonder still all over his face as he walked closer. “Your dragon form… it’s like none I’ve ever seen. All our dragons here in Night have black scales, matching the inherited power of darkness. Day’s are gold, matching their sunlight. But you…”

“I’m silver,” I rasped out, still feeling the effects of fire blasting from my throat.

“You are.” He agreed with a nod. “It’s gorgeous.” His hand came up and moved a bit of hair behind my ear, his finger trailing down my cheek to my jaw. “Your magic is like nothing we’ve ever seen before, Asteria. You wield starlight, and your dragon’s scales are silver. You’re the one my birth prophecy foretold of. A queen of stars…” He trailed off, and I could see too much in his eyes.

His hopes. His dreams. His… whatever he may be feeling for me. Something I refused to guess at.

“What does this mean?” I asked, swallowing hard. Ignoring that bit about the prophecy for now, though we would certainly be returning to that later, I focused on what needed to be dealt with at this moment. “My parents… am I…?”

I struggled to get the words out. Calix seemed to understand, taking pity on me, “I believe you to be the heir of Day Kingdom.”

I was already thinking it, but… the words still hit me like a fist to the gut.

“How?” I breathed, “How is that possible? They don’t wield starlight, or have silver dragons! They…” I began moving, unable to stay still. Calix’s hand fell from my face where he’d been cupping it as I began to pace back and forth. “There’s never been a woman heir! And how do you even know I’m the heir? I could just be a child of some Day noble, right? I mean, or maybe of the queen, but not the heir? The queen definitely wanted me to go to Day; it’s why she sent Soren, but?—”

“What?!” Calix growled, shocking me out of my rant. I paused, sensing a predator about to emerge in a way I hadn’t been able to before. I looked at him, seeing what I could explain as a dragon seething. I swallowed hard, suddenly very turned on despite myself.

He stepped toward me, nostrils flaring like he could scent exactly that. Thankfully, he didn’t mention it, but I nearly wished he had when he instead asked, “Soren? The boy you were with in your village? When did you see him? What does Queen Aurelia have to do with it?”

Oh … this was a mate thing, wasn’t it? I looked up at him, his sharp cheekbones looked especially cutting as his lips rose in a snarl. Despite how menacing he looked, he was still the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen.

I risked lifting a hand to his cheek, tracing the defined line of his cheekbones. He nuzzled into my hand in a way that seemed more animal than Fae. “I saw him briefly.”

His snarl returned once more, and I let my thumb trail over his lips, soothing him. Letting instinct guide me, letting the desire I’d been trying to suppress guide me. “He showed up at Cyrus’s. He was instructed to take me back to the queen of Day. I couldn’t leave, obviously, but I told him I was going back to Night the second I got free anyway.”

Calix seemed to calm some, and after a moment where he digested my explanation, he asked with a rough voice, like his animal still rode him, “And he just left you there? This boy,” he spat the word out like a curse, “who claimed to love you?”

I nearly laughed at how offended he was on my behalf. “He showed back up, but he clearly got out of there as fast as possible once you and Cyrus got into it. I don’t know what he was planning, but either way, it’s always been clear to me that he doesn’t truly love me.”

Calix froze, looking up at me, “He would be a fool not to.”

I stilled, taking in the meaning of his words. Did he…?

I shook my head; I couldn’t think of that now. “He loved an ideal of me that doesn’t really exist. That’s not love.”

“No.” His eyes glowed with green and blue, wrapping around the purple and shining bright. “No, true love accepts people as they are. It sees them for every aspect that makes them who they are, and loves that person because of them. Sometimes, even despite them. Love is gritty and real; it's not an ideal to live up to.”

Water filled my eyes, and I desperately tried to blink it away.

Calix watched me, concern written all over his face. When I finally managed to get my emotions under control, he sighed, “I know you’re the heir, Asteria, because I saw the glow surround you when your magic broke free.”

I cocked my head to the side, looking up at him. “The glow?”

He nodded in confirmation, “It surrounds any chosen heir. Usually, it happens when they are born. However, what happened to you, when your magic was released… I don’t know what you’d call that except for a rebirth. It makes sense it would appear again.”

I took that in, along with a deep breath, but he continued, “Unfortunately, I wasn’t the only one to see it. Cyrus saw it, too.”

My head whipped back up to his, and he nodded grimly. “We know he was already making moves to align with Day?—”

“And there’s only one kingdom missing an heir. An heir he promised to find for Aelius.” I concluded, a shiver running through me.

Calix growled, the rumble vibrating through me. “He will never touch you again. Ever.”

I nodded slowly. “Then I better figure all of this out quickly.”

Calix calmed some, clearly agreeing. “I did promise you some explanations. You told me before about the rage you always felt. Your emotions unable to be controlled at times?”

“Yeah?” My brows rose, unsure what that had to do with anything.

He smiled slightly. “That’s the dragon within you. All dragon shifters struggle with similar issues. When I was younger, I had to learn to control my rage and other emotions to prevent them from controlling me. I can help you learn to do the same.”

My mouth hung open in surprise. “You’re telling me all the emotional upheaval I’ve always dealt with has been, what? Normal?!”

Calix nodded calmly, a reassuring smile forming on his lips, “Basically, yes. For dragons, anyway. Our emotions are always up and down, swinging hard one way or another. But rage? That rage fuels our fire. I can only imagine having your dragon side forcibly repressed for so long meant it often bubbled up in other ways.”

It made too much sense, thinking back to the ways it felt like my blood would heat in my veins. I groaned out loud, “And you can help with this? Getting my emotions under control?”

Hope sparked in my chest, bright and loud.

“Of course. You’ll learn to harness them and let them fuel your power.” Calix lifted my chin up with his finger. “Those emotions are perfectly normal to feel. You are perfectly normal for feeling them.” I didn’t want to admit the way my eyes teared up at his reassurance. “It’s all about figuring out how you are letting them affect you and your life. How you can prevent them from taking over and letting them control your actions. It’s all about control.”

Calix slowly smirked. “And you’ve always wanted more control over your life, haven’t you?”