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Chapter One

Asteria

The world ceased to exist.

Everything around me seemed to fade away as I crumbled inside myself.

My life had exploded in rather spectacular fashion. The very core of my being—the thing I should have been able to rely on above all, was hiding a secret so vast that I had no idea how I had managed to remain ignorant until now.

Only… I hadn’t, had I?

I’d known it was there all along. I just had never recognized, couldn’t have begun to guess , what it was I was truly feeling.

I wasn’t human.

I was Fae .

Everything was a lie.

Everything .

I couldn’t begin to focus on Calix’s declaration. I could feel the truth of it in my bones, in my soul , where the two of us had been connected from the moment I was born. The gods gifting each of us a soulmark to show the world we belonged together. One I knew had to be somewhere on my body now.

The horrible irony of the pain I experienced trying to stay away from him, of him trying to keep his distance from me—all to be loyal to me…

I couldn’t deal with any of it right now.

Not when my entire being had been altered. Not when magic now sparked at my fingertips. Not when my body felt alien and strange, but somehow, more right than it ever had before.

That feeling I struggled with all my life, like my skin was too tight for my body, well , it had finally proven true, hadn’t it? My Fae nature and its accompanying magic had been locked away behind a magical cage. Suppressing everything I truly was beneath it.

Ensuring I grew up human. As a slave.

How? How did this happen ?

And why? This couldn’t have happened on its own. Someone did this to me. Forcing me to grow up a slave, when I could have grown up free. The harsh truth of that felt like it ripped me open anew. Only now, my soul felt torn open instead of my neck.

“Asteria.” Calix’s whisper struck me like a bell. My very soul that was currently bleeding out onto the floor… it belonged to him too. He could surely feel the mess I’d become through the bond connecting our mated souls.

I forced my eyes up into those purple orbs I’d been dying to see since Cyrus had torn me from his side. But now… now, I was left adrift.

Lost .

Nothing made sense anymore.

“I—” Was all I could choke out. My heart was beating like the pounding of dragon wings cutting through the skies. I couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think.

“Asteria.” I felt an arm slide across my shoulders, comforting and warm. “You need to calm down. I know this is overwhelming, but just breathe, okay? Follow me. In. Out.” Eryx motioned with his hand as he breathed, and I followed his example. My breathing steadied with each inhale and exhale.

As I calmed, I closed my eyes and let my head drop. Unable to stop the sobs that were ripped out of me against my will. Calix grabbed my hand and squeezed, while Eryx kept his arm around my shoulders.

“It’s going to be okay. I promise, my réalta. I know this is frightening, but we’re going to be okay,” Calix soothed as he caught my eyes, and I desperately tried to get my tears under control.

This was so embarrassing. I never cried. Only after Calix had freed me had I allowed myself that particular weakness. But now, I was a hiccupping mess.

“Fae feel things more intensely than humans do,” Calix informed me quietly, his face lined with the agony of powerlessness. “I’m not sure what was done to you, but it may have suppressed some of that as well. It’s all hitting you now, and you’re struggling to control it. Fae spend many of our younger years adjusting to our emotions and learning to control them. Trust me, you wouldn’t have wanted to see a young me in a rage. Don’t be embarrassed. It’s just us here.”

His soft words were reassuring, and the knowledge that this wasn’t just me overreacting settled that fear inside me. But my emotions were still like a tidal wave about to sweep me away in their current, leaving me gasping for breath as I struggled to surface.

But—wait…

“You—” I started, my words failing me for a moment. “You can feel my emotions, right?” I looked up at Calix, whose head was bowing down toward me already. He winced at my tone, which admittedly came out more accusatory than I intended. I’d already guessed it was the case, but I needed confirmation as my brain began working properly again.

For the most part, anyway.

“It’s—it’s part of the mate bond,” he admitted, his eyes lowered. I took another deep breath. I couldn’t deal with that now. I had to shut it all down. Get out of this Tartarus damned kingdom, and then sort out what in the Otherworld had happened to me, and why.

I could see the instant Calix felt me shutting my emotions away.

“Asteria…” Calix pleaded, a plaintive note in his voice. I just couldn’t deal with a soulmate bond on top of trying to reconcile my own soul right now. I met the pain in his eyes with my own as I locked away the bond.

Internalizing his pain and knowing I’d carry it with me, right alongside my own.

“I need time,” I whispered, pleading for his understanding.

He nodded, silvery-white hair flowing behind his shoulders as he pulled back, letting go of my hand and moving to stand. Even now, he was willing to give me the choice. He knew how important choice was to me and didn’t even hesitate to give it to me.

It made me wish I could swallow my words back down and reverse the pain I’d just caused him. But that would only hurt us both in the long run.

“Of course.” Calix nodded, face blanked of all the emotion that had just been swimming in his eyes. I nearly winced, seeing my dorchadas replaced with this grim king once more. His face was so locked down I couldn’t get any insight into his feelings, and I’d locked the mate bond down before I got a whiff of his through it.

His posture was intimidating, his broad shoulders set back and power emanating from him like a second skin. I knew he was struggling to control his emotions, but it made him seem even more dangerous. Men with power being on edge didn’t usually end well.

I couldn’t blame him, though. I knew this hurt him, that I’d hurt him.

He’d been waiting over four hundred years for his soulmate, and it was just our luck the entire situation had gone to Tartarus.

He deserved a better soulmate than me.

Eryx squeezed my shoulders, helping me stand up when my legs were too shaky to do it myself. I grasped his arm, my first steps wobbly like a newborn rozeaffery.

“What—” I shook my head in confusion.

“Your body is different now.” Like I needed the reminder, that was all I was thinking about. “You’re going to need to adjust to the changes.” Eryx’s voice was apologetic, but he quickly let me go when he noticed Calix staring at where his hand rested on my arm.

I wanted to sigh in frustration. I couldn’t deal with a jealous mate at the moment. I didn’t even know enough about the bond between us to know how this would affect us now that it had been… triggered? Unsuppressed? Let loose?

I would need to find that out in addition to what happened to me.

“Can we please get out of this place?” I begged Eryx. He looked at me sadly, but he nodded, looking to Calix. Our king gave a sharp nod, and we followed him out of Cyrus’s rooms.

I paused at the doorway, causing Eryx to look over at me in confusion.

“What’s wrong?” He looked around, clearly worried. His posture was stiffer than I’d ever seen it. The boyish charm absent as he tried to serve as an intermediary between Calix and me after experiencing an intensely traumatizing moment.

I could recognize that even through the fog I was currently swimming in. I’d been bleeding out in his arms, and Eryx, the brother I never had, would certainly be affected by that. And Calix—I couldn’t think of that now. I didn’t have the strength yet to worry about other traumas on top of my own. Not yet .

I was still adjusting to caring about others in this way. I’d worried about myself all my life because the only other people who even remotely gave a shit were my par— my parents .

My parents who weren’t my parents. Couldn’t be.

I sucked in a sharp breath that felt like glass going down, cutting me apart from the inside as the realization hit me.

They were human, through and through. What did that mean? I could feel hysteria rising as I thought about them. About that last hug from my mom, my dad slipping me that iron dagger. I nearly choked on a laugh. I hadn’t wanted to keep it on me. Hiding it away where I couldn’t even access it when I needed it. Whatever had been done to me, it had somehow stopped iron from affecting me—a trade-off for losing my magic, maybe. But I still hadn’t wanted that thing on me.

I suppose there was something to be said for instinct. I remembered flinching away from the iron door in Dusk…

“Asteria?” Eryx’s voice cut through my rapidly spiraling thoughts. I startled, coming back to myself. Clearing my throat, I tried to rebuild my composure.

“Can I leave?” I finally asked, hesitantly. “Cyrus had a spell around the room, keeping me trapped inside.”

“We removed it,” Calix answered gruffly from a few steps away. My head swung to where he stood, currently checking the halls for any enemies that may try to prevent us from leaving. When his eyes finally found me, they drilled into me with their stare, straight down to my soul. “We were tipped off about it and how to remove it. You’re free to leave.”

His voice softened slightly, his throat bobbing as he swallowed and quickly looked away. I watched his hands tighten on his weapons. The urge to reach for him was strong, and I was sure it was even stronger for him after so long. But we’d both have to deal with that later.

I raised my foot, wincing as I put it through the doorway, expecting to hit the equivalent of a wall—but it sailed right through as I sighed in relief. Eryx tightened his fingers around mine, urging me from the room. I swallowed hard and let the rest of my body pass through the doorway.

My hands caught onto the frame against my will. My body shuddered. Once. Twice. I tried to control the emotions rioting through me, but tears leaked from my eyes, nonetheless. I had feared that I’d never leave that room.

I hadn’t wanted to admit it to myself. Nor to Cyrus. But I truly was terrified, thinking I might die here. That even should Calix come, I wouldn’t be able to leave with the spell in place. Leaving me trapped forever.

Broad hands fell upon me, one on my back, the other brushing back my hair. I squeezed my eyes closed as Calix’s cheek brushed against mine, his body caging me in. But unlike that Tartarus damned room, this made me feel safe, instead of stifled.

“I know,” Calix murmured reassuringly. “Just let it out.”

I couldn’t control the shaking of my body, and I barely heard Eryx’s worried tone, the words he whispered to his king. “We need to get her out of here, Calix.”

A low growl was his only answer, but Calix reached down and picked me up like I weighed nothing. I was braced against his chest, curling into it as silent sobs wracked my frame. I couldn’t pay attention to anything beyond the general knowledge that Calix was hurrying us through the palace and to the secret exit we’d taken once before.

He left me to my tears, focused on our escape as he was. On my escape. But as we reached the gate, his silvery-white hair brushed my face as he leaned down, his fast gate making it sway back and forth. “We’re leaving Dusk now. And I promise you, Asteria, you will not return here again unless it’s to help burn it to the fucking ground.”

A choked laugh left my throat, relief flooding through me. My eyes rose to see the gates straight ahead. A path to freedom.

Night’s soldiers had Dusk’s down for the count, and the gates were wide open for us to leave. I noticed there was a charred trail leading from those gates straight back to the palace. My eyes lingered on Calix for a moment, knowing he was responsible for the roasted corpses littering the ground and feeling only intense thankfulness that he’d done all he could to rescue me.

Maybe that made me a bad person. I couldn’t find it in myself to give a fuck.

The guards bowed their heads as we passed, and I thought it was for Calix, until I saw their wide eyes focused on me.

“Why are they looking at me like that?” I whispered, my hearing still adjusting to the increased volume of the noises around me. Fae ears were obviously no joke.

A smirk tilted Calix’s lips up, and it was the most he’d truly looked like himself since we’d left that horrible room. “They can feel the magic in you.”

My head whipped over, my cheek nearly smashing into his armored chest. My eyes widened as my mouth dropped open, “They can feel it? What do you mean?”

Calix’s eyes stopped scanning our surroundings for a moment and met mine. The shock of his intense, bright, lilac eyes nearly made me gasp. “You can surely feel the magic surrounding us, in us, now that you’re able to access your powers. All Fae can sense the magic that resides in the land as well as in each of us. Like a… resonance, I suppose. You’d be able to feel my power, and it would feel greater than those around us.”

But I’d always been able to feel that magic. I had thought everyone could, but was it possible that part of my true nature just couldn’t be buried? I’d been so sure that all humans felt it, too. Though thinking back, Soren had always rolled his eyes at me when I mentioned the magic around us. I had never mentioned it to anyone else. There had never been anyone else to talk to.

“Your power—” I nearly jolted when Calix continued, my mind spinning too fast and leaving me distracted. “Your power is immense, Asteria. They can all feel it. That, combined with Liviana’s visions…” I could feel my whole body shift as he trailed off and shrugged almost too casually. I tried to ignore the fact that he could lift me with so little effort that he could even shrug while doing so.

I was not thinking about Calix that way right now. I wasn’t thinking about the Festival of Faunus. I wasn’t thinking of the after-party. I wasn’t thinking of the mate bond. I needed to focus on what had happened to me first. Thoughts of Calix and his… abilities —those needed to wait.

Watching him clench his jaw, the muscles moving as he ground his teeth back and forth, only made me think of him digging those same teeth into me that night. Before everything went completely sideways. Thinking of everything that had happened made my head hurt.

And my heart.

But I was distracted entirely by a flash of red hair ahead. I gasped, flailing upward, causing Calix to have to jerk his head back to avoid being hit in the face.

“Sorry!” I winced as I apologized frantically but still slapped his arms to get him to put me down. His slightly mulish look quickly transformed into a smile when he saw why I was acting like a crazy person.

He gently dropped me to my feet, and I barreled into Harpina like a tsunami. She fell backward, Baach having to steady us both so we didn’t tip over, but all I could focus on was her loud laughter as she hugged me back.

“You weren’t worried about me , were you?” She chuckled. I gasped a wet laugh, trying to hold back tears. Cyrus hadn’t told me anything about what had happened after I was taken. Seeing that they’d all made it out okay overwhelmed me with relief.

“Of course not,” I rasped, squeezing her tightly. “What a silly thing to say.” We pulled back as she laughed loudly, then looked to the obviously brooding king behind me. Her eyebrows spiked up. “I thought he’d be in a better mood. Having rescued the damsel and all.”

I narrowed my eyes at her, then sniffed. “I’m no damsel, first of all.”

Her lips twitched, “Okay, but you did require rescuing. Twice.” Her twitching lips broadened into a full smile as I shoved her over. Harpina chuckled as she regained her soldier’s stance.

“Seriously though, what did you do to him?” she murmured out of the side of her mouth, like that would stop Calix from hearing.

His glare spoke volumes on the ineffectiveness of that plan. Harpina looked between the two of us before she stiffened. “Wait…”

Her eyebrows scrunched together and Baach meandered over as she looked at us like a particularly complex puzzle. He took the opportunity to drag me into him and engulf me in a hug, making me laugh as my feet left the floor. He twisted me back and forth, swinging me around like a child. But as a rumbling growl echoed behind us, Baach froze in his exuberant greeting.

He set me on my feet quickly, before his hazel eyes joined Harpina in looking between us both, searchingly. She seemed to finally land on something as she gasped dramatically, while Baach tilted his head to the side like a confused puppy.

“By the Otherworld.” Harpina’s words were breathed out more than spoken. “How? How is this possible?” Her eyes were wide and shining. In their depths, I could identify shock and certainly, but it was wonder that truly filled them.

“It appears that when Asteria was born, someone went to great lengths to hide her as a human.” My head snapped over to Calix so fast I swore I heard my bones snap as well. His gaze was already on me. A complex mishmash of emotions hidden beneath the facade of an oh-so-serious king. It sort of made me want to shake him until his emotions came loose, but I knew that was a terrible idea for a number of reasons.

Completely different than the ones from just a few hours ago.

“You were always Fae?” Baach’s questioning tone broke me out of my concentration on Calix.

I turned to him, my mouth somewhat trembling as I forced it into a smile. “Apparently.”

He shook his head, some of his red hair coming loose from the tie he wore it in for battle. His eyes widened as his gaze shot to Calix.

“Wait, is she—?” He cut himself off, and the unspoken question hung in the air.

They’d all seen how Calix and I were drawn together. Half of them seemed to be rooting for us, while the others worried over his soulmate. The mate bond between two Fae was sacred, after all. Not to mention rare. It was considered a blessing for soulmates to even exist, let alone for them to find one another.

Calix’s purple eyes burned intensely. His silvery-white hair getting mussed out of place as he ran his hand through it. He looked to Baach, who was watching him with his mouth hanging open, “Yes, Asteria is my mate.”

Harpina let out a sound I could only describe as a squeak. She’d been the most insistent on Calix honoring his soulmate. Honoring me . The irony that she warned me away to ensure Calix was loyal to me … I could tell she was just as thrown by it as I was.

“A queen of stars…” Harpina mumbled, her eyes shooting to Calix, a wrinkle forming between her brows. His slight nod made her eyes widen. I knew starlight had burst out of me, but I had no idea what she meant. I was certainly no queen. Not to mention, I wasn’t sure how she even knew I had starlight, since it wasn’t a power I’d heard of before.

Fuck.

My emotions were a Tartarus damned disaster at the moment. I couldn’t delve into this whole mess until I figured out the rest. It was too large a—a—not a problem. No. A… thing , to tackle.

Baach went to open his mouth, a smile already growing, when I prevented him from speaking by doing so myself.

“I need to know who did this. And why. I’ve spent my entire life enslaved because of this.” My voice cracked, and my eyes fluttered closed for a moment. “It doesn’t make any sense. Why would someone do this to me?”

“I mean,” Harpina cleared her throat, “The kind of magic this would have required? Hiding you among humans? That says only one thing to me.” Baach’s nod backing her up made my stomach tighten with nerves.

“And what’s that?” I strangled out through my dry throat. Harpina gave me a look filled with a kind of sympathetic compassion that was near enough to break me right now, and I turned my face from her to Calix, hoping to escape it, even as her next words rattled through my head.

“That you must have been in incredible danger. Anyone who would go to such lengths to hide you, well, I can’t think of another reason for it.” I didn’t think it was possible to feel worse about this situation, but look at that! Apparently, anything was possible.

“It’s likely.” Calix agreed, nodding slightly. “We need to get home and check a few things, but I’m fairly sure I know where we can get you answers.” He was looking at me intently enough that I was sure he saw the hope that lit up inside me, like the stars within sat up and took notice alongside me.

“You do?” I nearly cringed at how desperate I sounded, and Calix softened, his face taking on a look I’d only ever seen trained on me. One full of many emotions mixed together. A connection between us that no one could deny anymore. Not even me.

“Let’s get back first. We’ll have time for explanations, but we need to get out of enemy territory.” I deflated a bit at having to wait for answers. Every part of me was screaming to demand he tell me now.

But I was already on the knife’s edge of another breakdown. So many things swirled in my mind. My state of being, my parents, Calix, and—and what I’d heard as I lay dying. All of it struggled for prominence in my mind and threatened to send me over the edge again.

And Calix was right. I wanted to be far, far away from Dusk. There couldn’t be enough distance between Cyrus and me.

But I could certainly try.