Page 3

Chapter Three

Asteria

“Asteria.” Priscilla’s eyes cut to me once again as we walked back to my rooms. She and Ilta had been sneaking looks at me on and off the entire way, and now, finally nearing my door, one of them was finally daring to speak for the first time since the moment they had caught sight of my ears.

I snorted, unable to help myself.

“I look a bit different, I know.” A hysterical laugh crept up my throat, a mad giggle escaping my lips before I swallowed it back down. I didn’t miss the worried glance they shared over my head.

“Is Eris here, by the way?” I asked, looking between them. The silence that met my question had me turning to Priscilla. “Pris?”

“She…” Priscilla trailed off for a moment, sighing deeply. “She needed some time alone to think about everything that happened. Once she learned what Emmie had done, she kind of lost it. Harpina helped find her a place in the resistance where she could work out some of her aggression.”

I couldn’t say I blamed her, but I mourned her presence. Maybe she would have understood the fundamental shift I faced; one little moment changing everything you thought you knew.

Ilta and Priscilla ushered me into the room and took up sentinel positions on either side of me on the sofa. I looked around my star-themed room with a new appreciation. I’d always loved the stars, and this room had immediately spoken to me.

Now, I finally knew why.

“Asteria, what in the Otherworld happened?” Priscilla whispered, a fierceness in her eyes she often banked. I knew she had it within her to have survived Dusk as she had, but to see it in her eyes on my behalf left me a bit choked up.

After all we’d experienced together, a tight bond had grown between Priscilla and me. To see her worried about me now, even with the new points of my ears, soothed a fear I didn’t even realize I’d had. That she might reject me now that I was Fae.

Silly, maybe, as she’d grown close with the Fae here in Night just as I had. She’d been taken into the little family we’d joined here and accepted them in turn, but fear didn’t understand logic.

I tried to open my mouth and tell her everything, but the words caught in my throat. I tried once more, before pressing my lips together, frustrated tears rising in my eyes. Arms came around me from both sides, the two blondes holding me through the storm as I let all the pain out.

The fear I’d felt being back in Cyrus’s clutches. The worry over the unknown fates of those I loved. Fear of the unknown, now that I was something else entirely. Resentment for all I’d suffered needlessly. And the suffocating feeling of loss for a humanity that was never mine to begin with was a grief I couldn’t shake. So many feelings that had nowhere to go except spilling out of my eyes in tears and ripping from my throat in horrid gasps.

That grief was the most overwhelming. The loss of who I thought I was. The person I’d built myself to be was so largely based on my being human that I had no idea who I was now. Even my parents weren’t real, had never been truly mine at all. How did I move on from such a crushing blow to my very self ?

Grief was a wretched beast. It had me within its jaws, gnawing on my bones and spilling my blood as it tore into my marrow.

When I finally cried myself out, I lifted my head and met Priscilla’s warm brown eyes, then shifted to meet the sweet blue of Ilta’s. Both worried, but here for me, no matter what. Human, Fae, it didn’t matter. And I soaked in that acceptance greedily. It was a ballast in a storm after the pain of Emmie’s betrayal.

“I’m sure Calix told you what happened in Sunset?” I asked quietly, and both nodded in confirmation.

“He only came back here because Titan forced him to. They had to come up with a good plan to get into Dusk and ensure they could get you out. Kian came through, thankfully, and I demanded Calix bring you back to us.” Priscilla sniffed, and I gave her an amused smile, wishing I had seen that. Ilta managed a quiet giggle beside me.

“When he got there, Cyrus wasn’t willing to let me go without a fight. He—” I gulped, and soft hands landed on my back, rubbing as I tried to summon the words. “He didn’t want anyone else to have me if he couldn’t, so he took measures to ensure it. He slit my throat.”

The gasps that reached my ears were expected, but I’d closed my eyes against the words, remembering the feeling of my blood leaking out, my body going cold, of death welcoming me into its embrace—until the magic broke through.

“While I was bleeding out, the cage holding my magic in finally broke. I’ve apparently always been Fae, but had somehow been hidden as a human all my life.” I admitted softly. “I have no idea how, though Calix claims to have some idea.”

“Who would do that?” Ilta shook her head, confusion in every word. “ How would someone do that?”

“I have no idea.” I sank back into the sofa, the soft cushions greeting me and letting me sink into them pleasantly.

We tossed ideas back and forth for the better part of an hour before tiredness overcame me, the exhaustive experience and travel home finally catching up to me now that I was safe and comfortable.

It was only through their urging that I found myself guided to my bed and not falling asleep on the sofa. They helped me change, promising to update Delia and Lilith for me, but admitted it was likely the two would just be ambushing me first thing in the morning. I let out a light laugh, nodding in agreement. No one would be able to hold them at bay long.

I fell to sleep, my worries forgotten for the moment, as Ilta sang softly and Priscilla brushed my hair back, the warm glow of friendship surrounding me in a way I’d never have expected for myself. Despite Emmie’s betrayal, I couldn’t help but be thankful that she’d broken down my walls a bit, nonetheless. I wouldn’t have experienced this without it.

My dreams found Luna waiting for me, and I let myself breathe in the deep, dark night as I spun around her. I let my skin light up—all the worries of my waking world so far away when I was here, I could merely enjoy the starlight beneath my skin as it came forth—lighting the skies around me.

Luna, usually so quiet, let out a roar of joy. I laughed, letting her joy at my power feed my own as I danced. Until the darkness grew deeper, and I gasped as I turned toward it.

It wasn’t mere darkness that greeted me tonight. Now, within my very dreams, the darkness hovered for a moment, reaching toward me, and slipped right past where the barrier usually kept us apart. As the fingers of darkness passed through, they slowly revealed actual flesh and blood fingers, then a hand, an arm, until finally… Calix stood before me, sheathed in shadows that writhed and danced around him like a halo.

“Asteria,” he breathed, just as shocked as I was in that moment.

Of course. The darkness, it had been him all along. Somehow, the mate bond, buried and suppressed by the magic as it was, had still found a way to connect us across the ether. Our bond stronger than even the strongest of magic.

But I was by no means ready, and as he took a single step toward me, I gasped, my eyes shooting open.

I was disoriented, unsure of where I was when the stars on my ceiling looked so like those in my dreams. But a glance around my room confirmed I had somehow woken myself up.

I sighed loudly, covering my eyes with my hands as I breathed in and out, trying to calm my racing heart. Just one look at Calix had the damn thing beating out of control.

I fought my blankets and wormed my way out of my bed. I stretched out my muscles, only to find, to my great surprise, that they didn’t hurt the way they usually did. I bent over, stretching to touch my toes, and found my back didn’t scream in protest.

I blinked in surprise. The pain had been with me my whole life. The life that had been spent hidden in a mortal shell. Another thing whoever did this to me had to answer for.

* * *

I made my way out to the training ring, determined to get an early start. My rage had taken a back seat to my grief and confusion, but it was an ever-steady hum in the background. I wanted to tear Cyrus to pieces for what he did to me. For what he was doing to everyone.

But for now, I let myself admire the sunrise cresting over the palace as I entered the yard, rarely awake enough to appreciate it first thing. I’d slept from mid-afternoon to morning, so after fourteen hours of sleep, I was awake and ready to go.

I went to the swords, only to pause as I found Lilith sharpening a blade. Her long brown hair was tied in a braid down her back, and she wore the same armor I’d donned this morning. She looked up as my shadow reached her, and a smile took over her face as she jumped up and pulled me into a hug.

I breathed out and hugged her back. There had been moments I wasn’t certain I’d ever see any of them again. I’d hoped, but hope was such a new thing for me, that I often still didn’t trust it.

“I couldn’t believe it when they told me.” Lilith pulled back and took me in, from the tips of my pointed ears to my feet.

“I still can’t really believe it.” I smiled wryly, and, ever empathetic, Lilith could see my desperate need for distraction.

“Come on, let’s spar. You look like you could use it.” She smiled softly, head tilting toward the training ring.

“Please.” I nodded in relief, needing to get out of my head for a bit, only to be completely taken aback when we got going.

“There you go! Look at you!” Lilith beamed as I surged under her arm and came up behind her, my sword at her throat. I blinked quickly in surprise.

“Fae speed, I guess. I’d forgotten.” I chuckled at myself. This huge change that rocked my life had occurred, and I hadn’t even considered the abilities I would now have beyond my magic.

Lilith smiled softly, “You need to focus on the positives. Your speed, your strength, those are only a couple of the things you now have.”

I nodded in agreement, but couldn’t force myself to verbalize it. I merely lifted my sword arm in invitation, and our blades crashed against each other once more. Parrying and blocking until Lilith managed to knock the blade out of my hand with a combination of movements so fast, I could only see them thanks to my newly improved eyesight.

Her blade was leveled at my neck, and my own sword fell from my hand as I froze in horror, unable to breathe as my blood gushed from my neck, my life draining away. I collapsed to the ground and grappled for my throat, my hands clumsy with fear and shaking from the terror of my neck splitting open once more.

“Breathe, Asteria.” Lilith’s worried voice sounded far away, as if I was hearing her from underwater. “You’re okay. You’re okay.” She repeated over and over as she rubbed my back.

It took several minutes for me to gain a solid breath in and realize I wasn’t bleeding out. My throat wasn’t gushing my lifeblood onto the floor; it was just a memory coming back to haunt me. I’d never reacted so strongly to something so simple before. I couldn’t help wondering if what had happened had completely warped my mind.

“I’m sorry, I don’t know what…” I trailed off, clearing my throat in embarrassment. What a pathetic Fae I made.

“There’s nothing to apologize for,” Lilith swore softly. “I can’t imagine how frightening that was for you. And knowing you,” she gave me a knowing look, “You’ve been trying to bury it and move on.”

I flinched. It felt like her words tore off the invisible armor I kept around my emotions to protect myself. When your emotions are erratic, sometimes burying them is the only thing that helps you make it from day to day.

“You’ll have to deal with what happened, Asteria.” At the frantic shake of my head, she soothed me, running her hand down my back. “It doesn’t need to be now. It can be on your own time. But we all understand and know how it is, I promise you that. It may not seem it, but we all have our issues.” She smiled softly, despite her next words.

“Trauma is like a ghost that haunts you, and you can’t decide when it will pop up to frighten you again. But if you face down your ghost, oftentimes, you can also take control of it.”

* * *

The next two days were taken up with the girls trying to keep me from wallowing or freaking out and, alternatively, chasing Calix away so I had time to come to terms with the changes in my life.

But staring at myself in the mirror, taking in the now pointed tips of my ears and the way my eyes now truly looked like a bright blue sky, I knew I had to get myself together. I couldn’t continue trying to run from what had happened to me.

It was time to get on with my life. Too much was left to do, and I knew I needed to get back to dealing with what we all knew was coming.

War .

With what happened in Sunset and Dusk Kingdoms, we all knew that the time had come. Soon, we would need to take the fight to Cyrus. The humans of Celesterra were depending on us and the balance of the entire world was at stake. If we failed to fix it, the magic would soon fade entirely from Celesterra.

A throb kicked inside me, strange and alien almost, but I somehow recognized my magic responding. Despite the turbulence in my mind, my body decidedly wasn’t a fan of losing what it had only just unlocked.

I didn’t know what I was now capable of. Where on a scale from zero to Calix, my power was. But I knew, despite all the hesitations I felt about it, all the pain associated with learning the truth… that I felt more myself than I ever had before.

My body was finally settled. No longer screaming and aching, trying to fit a mold it was never meant for.

I squared my shoulders, taking a deep breath in, and resolved myself to what had to happen next.

It was time to face my mate.

I turned to get dressed, only to catch a glimpse of a shimmer on my back. Frowning, I turned my head and gasped.

There on my upper back was a sparkling black tattoo in the exact configuration of my necklace. In the exact same spot as Calix’s.

My soulmark .

My eyes softened. Despite the confusion over the situation with Calix, tears rose in my eyes. Soulmates were such a rare thing, and to be blessed with one was supposed to be the most extraordinary gift a Fae could have.

I’d wanted Calix so badly, but when faced with all that truly meant when the concept of another woman disappeared from the equation, I was left feeling… unsettled.

I barely knew who I was right now. I didn’t know what I could do or how to control what I now had. Was it really the best time to start a relationship of any sort?

On the other hand, did I even have the ability to stay away?

Did Calix want to? He’d tried to stay away from me for the sake of his soulmate. And while we both knew now that it was me, that didn’t mean it hadn’t hurt. And it didn’t mean that the knowledge just disappeared that—that Calix wouldn’t have chosen me.

He would have chosen someone else.

If it was so easy to walk away from me, how could I trust that I was truly the one he wanted?

I didn’t want him to be with me just because I was his soulmate. If I was going to entertain the idea of a relationship, I wanted someone who would choose me no matter what.

And Calix hadn’t.