Page 12

Chapter Twelve

Asteria

I couldn’t believe I had lost control of my power in such a way last night. My emotions had been rioting through me. My confusion over the mate bond and everything that brought with it, to the uncertainty over my very life. The escape I’d found for a moment in Calix’s arms just made it worse by adding my arousal to the storm. Of course, it just had to all bubble up and escape in a blast of power that brought the entire bar to a standstill.

I ran before I could do any more damage, but I feared it might have already been done.

I could fully admit I had no idea what I was doing. Not with the knowledge of who I was. Not with my magic. Not with Calix.

I knew getting control of my magic had to be a priority. The gods were waiting on it, after all, and that seemed like a fairly pressing reason to figure out how the fuck to do it.

But my mind kept coming back to Calix anyway, like my love life was the most important issue as a war pressed down on us.

And yet, I couldn’t ignore the pull between us. I just didn’t know how much of that was the mate bond, and how much was actually us .

Did he actually want me with the passion that filled his eyes when his gaze devoured me? Or was the mate bond merely manifesting it?

Today wasn’t the best day to examine that question, and I’d take any excuse to avoid examining my insecurities. After giving me several days to try to adjust to the change of my entire being , it was time to finally address the war to come.

Cyrus wasn’t going to wait around, so we had to get moving and get our plans in place. I could worry about the state of my relationship with Calix later. My magic, on the other hand, didn’t have that kind of time. I stood in front of my mirror once Delia finished getting me ready for the day, clad in my dragon-scale armored corset, cloud leather pants, tall boots, and my armbands. I felt ready for war physically, if perhaps not mentally.

The thought of Cyrus and what he may be doing even now caused the stars in my eyes to churn violently. The fire in my blood lit like a fuse, and I rocked back as starlight exploded out of me. The loud crash had me ducking and protecting my head on instinct.

I looked up to find my mirror had cracked in two. I raised my hand, trailing my fingertips along the crack, before letting my head fall onto it, my forehead clanging off the mirror. I could feel my forehead scrape along the ragged crack in the glass and the resulting blood that dripped from the wound. But by the time I lifted my head, it had healed completely.

Only a red drop of blood showed any proof the cut had even happened.

I raised my hand to wipe it away, looking at the blood on my finger. I wasn’t sure I’d ever adjust to being Fae.

Maybe Calix was right, and that was why my magic didn’t answer my call. It still responded to my emotions, at least intense ones, but it was like a dog that didn’t listen to commands. It showed up, yet refused to do what I wanted.

I sighed miserably. How exactly did one accept their entire world shifting?

I supposed I’d have to figure that out.

Quickly.

* * *

I made my way down to the training yard, determined to at least improve my fighting skills if my magic ones were going to keep failing me.

Titan was already there, watching me with a raised brow as I made my way out.

“You’re overdue for training.” He smirked, but it didn’t reach his eyes.

I scoffed, making my way to the array of weapons. “Excuse me for getting kidnapped.”

“You’re not excused,” he replied as I grabbed my sword. My head whipped over to him incredulously. “Our job is to make sure you won’t be overpowered and kidnapped.” His brow rose, and I ground my teeth, taking a deep breath so I didn’t lash out.

“Well, I’m sure we don’t have to worry about that anymore, right?” I swung my sword out dramatically, indicating my new Fae body.

But Titan shook his head, tutting. “That kind of thinking will see you back in chains.”

My head reared back in surprise. “What?”

He advanced on me, and an uncomfortable shiver went down my spine. “You think because you’re immortal, you cannot die?”

“Isn’t that what immortal means?” I snapped back, raising my sword to block his sudden strike. I flinched as the clang of blades clashing rang out. His got much too close to my face for comfort.

“It means you won’t age. Not that you can’t be killed.” He grunted, glaring at me. “It doesn’t mean that something worse than death can’t befall you. Do you want to end up back in Cyrus’s clutches?”

I snarled, fangs appearing where before only sharper than usual canines had been. I stepped forward, thrusting my blade. Titan blocked it, and I swung the sword harder and harder. Titan blocked every swing, which only made me more furious.

“I will never be caged again,” I growled, spinning around quickly and coming up behind Titan, his own fast turn to meet my blade, taking me back for a moment.

“Good,” he growled back, blue eyes flashing. “Now, we need to ensure that. You need to work harder, train harder, than all of them. We won’t stop until you can best me . And then, we’ll keep going.”

My jaw dropped. “You’re ancient! How am I supposed to beat you?!”

That seemed entirely unfair. Titan smirked in response, “Until you can, there will always be someone out there who can beat you, Asteria. My goal is to see you live . A long, long life, if I have any say in the matter.”

I paused, looking up at the man my mate considered a second father. I wondered if this was some strange version of bonding with a pseudo-in-law like the new wives in my village had done with their husband’s parents.

Titan’s hand landed on my shoulder. “You have many fights in front of you, Asteria. Gaining control of your magic will help, but I want you prepared for everything. You won’t ever again be weak under my watch, do you understand?”

I nodded, silenced. He was right. Just because I was Fae now, didn’t mean I suddenly knew what I was doing. I desperately needed more training. I didn’t know what the war ahead looked like, but I knew I would face Cyrus before the end. I refused to accept any different. And I needed to ensure I could best him when that time came.

In the meantime, I was still vulnerable. Rage rose at the very thought. I could feel it building, but I thought back to Calix’s lessons. I took a deep breath, simmering in that rage, letting myself accept it as part of myself, and then redirected it.

But not to fire this time—or perhaps, just a different kind of fire.

I let that rage fuel every swing of my sword. Every block, every parry. Being much smaller than the behemoth that was Titan, I moved around him like the wind. I darted in and out, bending back to avoid strikes, letting myself come up behind him, or jumping over to gain a flurry of hits on him.

Titan’s smile was slow but sincere. I focused all my rage on the match, letting everything else fall away.

“Good.” Titan declared as he finally swatted my sword out of my hand.

I watched it fall mournfully, knowing it was unrealistic to expect to win, but wishing I could, nonetheless. Titan had leagues of experience on me, and I knew he had slowed himself down and was hardly giving the fight his all. The point was to train me, not demolish me.

“Good?” I looked up at him hopefully, and he smiled warmly at me, clasping a heavy hand on my shoulder.

“Great.” He corrected with an approving look. “The difference was distinct. Not only from the advantages of being Fae, though that certainly helped, but your focus and drive, your technique, all of it was improved in addition to your strength and speed.”

A glowing smile lit my face at his assessment.

“But don’t get cocky. We still have a lot of work to do.” He smirked, and I slapped his shoulder as he laughed.

“You can’t give a compliment without dragging it down, can you?” I sighed dramatically, shaking my head.

He rolled his eyes, “Come on, let’s go again. We have time for more before the meeting.”

The mention of the meeting had me straightening up.

The reminder of why I was doing this.

Not only of who I’d have to fight, who we’d all have to fight, but of the humans who were still unable to.

The humans relying on us, even if they didn’t know it, to free them from a would-be tyrant.

I lifted my sword, letting the resolve and rage flowing through me blend together, and trained for every single one of them who was still enslaved.

* * *

Entering the war room with Titan, I greeted everyone with a smile. Pretending like I hadn’t fled the bar last night after losing control of my magic in front of half of them.

Thankfully, everyone seemed to be fine with that, and I was greeted with smiles around the table. Calix nodded, directing me to the spot to his right, while Titan came around to take the spot on Calix’s other side.

“As things stand right now, we have feelers out to Sunrise and Sunset Kingdoms. Eryx is working on gathering information and seeing if alliances can be made. With Dusk, Dawn, and Day allying, we need more numbers and the strategic advantage of their location for this fight.” Calix announced, looking out around the room.

My heart sank hearing it spelled out like that. That all three kingdoms surrounding Night were allied against us was a definite blow. I could see on the faces surrounding the table that they all knew it as well, and ruminating over what I knew of the complicated politics of those kingdoms and Cyrus himself, I forced myself to speak up.

“They may be allied now, but those alliances are shaky.” I leaned over, looking at Dawn’s sigil on the map laid out in front of us. “Cyrus and Zerlina are constantly at each other’s throats, and he treats her horribly. She’s only putting up with it because she wants to be queen. But if that betrothal fell apart…”

“Astraeus and Tariq are too close of friends.” Eryx shook his head. “They’ll remain allied regardless.”

“Only if they’re the ones in power,” Calix spoke up. Eryx looked back at him with his eyebrow raised. “Cyrus’s plans seem increasingly unhinged. It’s only a matter of time until Astraeus realizes his heir is going behind his back, using blood magic and making plans he hasn’t approved of.”

“We hope, anyway.” Eryx shook his head again, looking over the map with a critical eye. “Do we have a better chance of swaying Day Kingdom?” His eyes landed on me.

I breathed in, still unable to truly fathom any connection between myself and Day Kingdom. I shrugged my shoulders, “Your guess is better than mine, honestly. I’ve never interacted with them at all.”

Everyone went quiet for a moment. The truth that everyone in this room knew my birth family better than I did was disquieting. The fact I knew nothing about them, even more so.

I felt the table rumble under my hands and realized with wide eyes my magic was causing it. I looked up to Calix, who grabbed my hands, bringing them to his lips. He pressed small kisses to my fingers, and I bowed my head, hiding my face with the curtain of my hair, taking deep breaths so the magic wouldn’t burst out again.

When I calmed down, I lifted my eyes to meet Calix’s. He was smiling softly at me, and I could swear I felt a foreign sense of pride fill me before it was gone as quickly as it came.

“Asteria.” Eryx’s solemn tone grabbed my attention, tearing my eyes from Calix to land on him. He approached me slowly, raising his hand which I noticed was now holding something out to me.

A letter.

Who in Tartarus would send me a letter?

The thought that Cyrus sent his taunts to me quickened my heart, but Calix’s hand landed on my back, and the feeling of calm that spread through my entire body chased away all traces of anxiety. I sighed at the feeling, hating myself for it. I knew that wasn’t me. Calix must somehow still be able to send me his feelings, even with the bond locked down.

I knew I couldn’t give him what he needed, not now. It wasn’t fair for me to take his comfort and leave him in the cold.

Dragons were beasts of heat and fire, after all.

“It’s from Day Kingdom,” Eryx explained hesitantly, his blue eyes meeting mine. If mine were the blue of a clear sky, his were the blue of a clear sea. Crystalline waters that lapped calmly at the shore, grounding in their reliability. “It arrived just before the meeting. I was going to wait until after to give it to you, but?—”

He cut himself off with a small shrug, a reassuring smile tilting his lips. He looked like he wanted to reach out, but a glance at Calix’s hand on my lower back had him just handing it over.

My hand shook as I reached out for the letter. Since hearing Calix’s theory, I hadn’t been able to stop thinking about it. A million questions became a swirling tornado that spun through my mind at all hours of the day and night. Why remained the loudest question at the center.

My trembling fingers latched onto the envelope, only for a large hand to envelop mine.

“What do they want?” Calix demanded, staring down his spymaster, his brother in all but blood, like he was an enemy. Over a letter. It was enough to snap me out of my own anxiety, which was clearly affecting Calix as well. I rolled my eyes before snatching the letter from both of them, ripping the wax seal containing the Day Kingdom’s sigil to reach the letter inside.

“Asteria—” Calix attempted, but I lifted a hand to quiet him. This was beyond kingdoms and battles, and the king had no business being involved in this. Even as I told myself this, I tasted the lie like rancid meat on my tongue. He had every reason, but I was stubborn, and I needed to know what words lay inside now .

As I unfolded the parchment, Calix’s hovering shadow encompassed me, and I bit my lip to contain my smile. Trying to protect me from a damn letter of all things. I nearly laughed, until I saw my name scrawled at the top in a feminine looping scrawl. Everything came to a halt. My busy mind, the calamitous room, everything came to a complete standstill.

My Dear Asteria,

I have waited twenty-one years to write this letter, and yet now that the time has come, I find my words are failing me. I am sure you have many questions, and now that your true nature has been revealed, there is probably much confusion over what has transpired. And perhaps most importantly, why.

I have answers to all of your questions, but as much as I am distressed at the thought of making you wait for your answers, I find I must tell you this tale face to face. I beg of you, let me look upon the daughter lost to me for all these years. The mere glimpse of you on Placement Day was not enough to soothe the heart that has ached terribly since I was forced to hand your shining little body into my lady-in-waiting’s hands.

Your brother wishes as desperately as I do to meet you. Have you ever felt the phantom ache he complains about? I do wonder. Twins are a special circumstance, with a magic all their own. A bond that connects them across distance and magic and the fate of the gods. He wishes to reunite with his elder sister, though he insists the couple of minutes between you is hardly enough to call you elder at all.

But those minutes were enough to change our world, even if no one else realized it.

Please, allow Arien and me to meet you somewhere. Day is too dangerous for you, another thing we must discuss. And I do not trust Night, despite Soren’s assurances you are happy there. Perhaps we could meet in the middle?

I eagerly await word from you, my darling daughter. I beg of you to not leave me rattling in nerves too long. Day Kingdom has been without its princess, but more importantly, I have been without half of my heart while you’ve been separated from us. I pray to the gods, much as I plead to you, that our time of separation is finally at an end.

Love eternally,

Mother

Aurelia Hemera Earendel

Queen of Day Kingdom

My muscles felt weak, but I leaned into the stalwart pillar of strength behind me. Calix’s arms came around me, holding my waist as I let my eyes close. Starlight roared behind my lids that I couldn’t hope to control. I opened them against my will, and in a flash of light, my power burst from me.

Screams filled the room as everyone ducked, dodging the rogue blast from the incompetent Fae in the room. The mate of their king, the heir to Day Kingdom… and I couldn’t master my damned starlight.

A power I didn’t even understand, let alone control.

I hung my head forward as tears filled my eyes. The loss of control, the letter, I couldn’t be sure. But Calix merely squeezed me to him, running his hands over my back.

“Emotion brings out our powers. There’s nothing to be ashamed of. We all had the same thing happen as young ones.” Calix chuckled wryly, nudging at my temple sweetly. “You should have seen me when I was learning how to control the darkness. They were true shadows in every sense of the word, following me around whenever I was angry or anxious.”

He shifted me in his arms until I faced him and lifted my chin with his knuckle. “Your mother clearly is behind whatever was done to you, and she is wholly responsible for you learning this later in life. But it’s completely normal, I promise, my réalta.”

I let my head crash into his chest and allowed myself a moment to enjoy being surrounded by his brilliant heat as I fought back my tears.

When I finally gained some semblance of composure, I pulled back and looked up to meet his lilac eyes. “What should we do?”

I caught the surprised smile before he could hide it and cursed myself internally. I was supposed to be maintaining my distance, not hugging him and using words like “we.” I pulled back, and the frown that appeared on his face as a result had me closing my eyes briefly. I couldn’t win.

Calix cleared his throat, stepping back as well and looking briefly at the others in the room, who all pretended to be busy with something other than staring at us. “The Etheralta Mountains sit on the border of our lands. It’s a good, neutral point between us. We have a fort there that the miners use year-round. Write her back if you like, and tell her we can meet there in a week.”

“And if I don’t want to write her back?” I winced, feeling like a coward. But what did one say to the woman—to the mother , they didn’t know? The one who’d abandoned them only to introduce themselves via letter and give no explanation.

The sympathy on Calix’s face wasn’t helping. I didn’t want sympathy, I wanted to… I wanted to go shift and blow off some literal steam.

“Then don’t.” Calix shrugged casually. “I’ll take care of it.”

“Really?” I asked, my eyes lighting up. He chuckled warmly, and I was very proud of myself for holding back my response to the sound.

“Really. I’ll let her know when and where to meet us and that you’re looking forward to an actual explanation,” he growled, his eyes narrowing.

A smile twitched on my face. So protective.