Page 40

Chapter Forty

Asteria

I’d never felt quite so out of my depth.

It sort of felt like I was playing pretend, dressing up in the outfit of royalty and acting out the part.

But this was real .

And I wasn’t sure if I was actually up to this task. Calix and Arien, and truthfully everyone else, too, assured me that I was, but I was left adrift as people asked me questions that I had no answers to.

“How do you intend to rule Day Kingdom while ruling Night as well?” Lord Dritan asked me with a raised brow, his face communicating his doubt quite clearly. His red hair fell around his face in long waves, and his dark orange eyes set into a deeply tanned face were quite intense.

“We’re working on a more detailed plan moving forward for ruling both kingdoms,” I told him, giving as polite a smile as I could manage.

If anything, though, his brow arched higher. “Code for: you have no idea.”

I fought a cringe. It really was. I had no clue what I was doing or how I was going to do it.

I knew I didn’t want to lose Calix. I knew I had to rule Day.

Those two things had to find a way to exist simultaneously.

But deep inside, I feared there wouldn’t be a way. That the gods only brought us together for their own purposes, and once we’d accomplished them, we’d be forced apart. Looking at my mother only increased that paranoia.

She was given a mate, and for what? To have me? To bring about these prophecies? Given the promise of an immortal lifetime of love and happiness only to have it yanked cruelly away?

Would that be Calix and me?

I knew how I felt about him, but I couldn’t say the words. Saying the words gave them power. I always knew love had the power to break people, but I never truly understood it until now.

Calix and I hadn’t had much time to discuss our relationship since we’d gotten together. We’d slept together, and we’d made our feelings clear. I’d even moved into his rooms—despite spending only one perfect night there thus far.

A selfish part of me was grateful for that fact.

I didn’t know how to face what was to come. I didn’t know how to explain how lost I remained.

But facing Lord Dritan now, I couldn’t show that kind of weakness. So, I lied.

“I have no doubt that Calix and I will develop a plan that makes everyone happy.” And I hoped he couldn’t see the truth all over my face.

I was still determined not to lose him. I just needed to figure out how .

The rest of the night was just as strange. Walking around and greeting nobles, meeting soldiers, all of it as the queen… I felt like a fraud.

Even if the gods had shown their approval quite explicitly.

“Queen Asteria.” I turned and found a human man standing before me. He bowed his head in greeting, long pale hair tumbling forward. “I’m Einer. I was one of the humans who fought in the battle against Aelius’s forces.”

“It’s wonderful to meet you, Einer,” I told him honestly once he’d raised his grey eyes to meet mine. “I thank you for fighting. It’s incredible to see other humans finally rising up against slavery.”

“Knowing there’s a chance for freedom…” He shook his head in amazement. “There was no way we couldn’t fight. We’ve accepted our lot for much too long.”

“Agreed,” I said fiercely, and Einar smiled widely.

“And knowing the future Fae queen had, until recently, been human .” He chuckled. “That’s something you don’t see every day. The more we heard, the more we realized that now was the time. Between you and what King Calix has accomplished, the humans of Celesterra finally have a chance.” Tears filled his eyes, and I grabbed his hands, squeezing.

“We do,” I said, before realizing what had come out of my mouth. “I—I mean?—”

Einar laughed, throwing his head back slightly. “The fact you still think of yourself as a human says it all, I think.”

“I suppose it does,” I agreed ruefully, shaking my head at myself.

“Is it true what they say? About what’s happening in Dusk?” His voice quieted, but I heard the rage that underlined every word. The fury that the humans of Celesterra were finally finding within themselves after too long suppressing it.

“It is. We’re working now to dismantle his operations, and free as many as we can.” I explained mournfully. “We hope to incite further rebellion among those not in the camps.”

“Good. I realized when Aelius rounded up so many humans that something was very wrong, but I never could have imagined such a thing.” Einar shivered as he thought of it, and I wished it was impossible to imagine myself.

But I knew how far Cyrus would go to get what he wanted.

Einar met my eyes, taking his clenched fist and putting it over his heart before bowing his head once more. “You have my blade, for whatever it is worth against a Fae’s. I will fight for you, Queen Asteria, with the same fervor you carry for us.”

I fought off the rising tears his words conjured. I nodded deeply. “Thank you, Einar. I will always value it as equally as any Fae’s, if not more so. Fae have every advantage. The fact that you will fight despite that, shows your worth is much greater.”

The smile on his face was one I would never forget. No matter how many centuries I lived.

Knowing that I could inspire humans to rise up and fight was everything I had ever wished for when I was growing up in Sonmathion. It was the first time tonight that I didn’t feel like a little girl playing dress-up.

I felt like a Queen .

One actually worthy of the crown I wore.

I would never misuse the power granted to me as my birth father has. I would fight for those who need it most. I would fight to bring balance back to Celesterra.

And I would fight to ensure my own freedom. From the trauma of slavery and Cyrus combined. Fight to free myself from the mindset that kept me trapped, convinced this was all temporary.

If I had to journey to the ends of the world and the Otherworld besides to be truly free, I would throw myself into Tartarus now and start walking.

Which was exactly what I was going to do.

* * *

The blue skies around me were a welcome sight. My smile lit up my face as the burning ball of fire unraveled itself from its curled-up position and let loose a trill in greeting.

“Zhu!” I greeted him excitedly in return as he flew around me. I brushed a hand down his scales, letting the fire lick my palm and reveling in the pleasant warmth left behind.

“No wonder you’ve never burned me.” I laughed, shaking my head. “Did you know all this time that I was a dragon too?”

His head bobbed in confirmation, and I looked at him sternly for a moment. “You couldn’t have clued me in?”

He shook his head, and I could swear he was smirking at me. I sighed, giving up. I was sure there was a reason for it. Actually…

“Are you real?” I whispered, scared of the answer. “I’ve seen you and Luna all my life. I thought you both just dreams, but now…”

He flew around me until his body snaked in a circle, putting his face right in front of mine. Eyes of fire looked right into mine, the intense stare feeling much too real to be anything but.

“You are, aren’t you?” I asked in wonder, my hand reaching out to touch his face.

But before I could, I was ripped out of the dream. I let out a grunt of aggravation, but thankfully, Calix wrote it off as my usual morning grumpiness. I wanted answers. I needed to know why I always dreamed of the sun and moon dragons.

And we were going to just the place to find out.

We made our way back to Tairngire quickly after dragging ourselves out of bed. There was little time to waste, after all. I’d given my mother the power of regent in my absence, and I hoped she proved herself worthy of it.

I hated thinking that. Of my mother especially.

But I knew she struggled with the humans and the concept of ending slavery. I just hoped Arien would be able to help push her in the right direction.

She certainly had my directions, and instructions to follow them perfectly. I didn’t like walking away immediately after being crowned, but this mission was too important to delay.

My powers were under control now. Or as much as I could expect at this point, anyway. I wasn’t blasting starlight any more randomly than Calix did his darkness, so I considered that a win.

Hopefully, we wouldn’t be gone long, and Arien had actually surprised me by being very supportive of my plans when we discussed them. Apparently, Soren had saved his life during the battle. Between that and then seeing what the other humans brought to the fight, he’d been reevaluating his thoughts on them.

Ugh, Soren.

I had no idea what to do about him. I’d spent the night smoothly avoiding him, and keeping Calix next to me as much as possible. Which was mostly for my own benefit and not so much about Soren, but still.

The man was like a dog with a bone.

We’d never been so intense about one another, and I had no idea what had changed. Unless I just hadn’t seen the signs before? He did admit he loved me when we parted on Placement Day, but I’d thought that an emotionally charged moment getting the best of him, if I was truly honest with myself.

I didn’t consider myself very lovable, especially not then. I couldn’t comprehend it.

But it seemed he’d actually meant it.

And now I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t feel the same, obviously, but I’d tried letting him down as gently as I could.

And then, not so gently as I’d slapped him to the ground for his shitty accusations.

But I didn’t want to hurt him. I just wanted him to get a clue.

I was obviously with Calix, and that hopefully wouldn’t change. I feared outside forces meddling, but I had no doubt about our commitment to one another.

Having my mind in such turmoil probably wasn’t an auspicious start to this journey, but it was what it was.

Calix and I both wore our armor, knowing we would likely face challenges along the way. As we lay in bed last night after the coronation, I’d asked Calix about what we might face on our way to the city of the gods.

“Much and not at all is known of the Otherworld, my réalta,” he’d said in response, and rumbled a laugh against my neck when I complained of his non-answer. “I speak truly. Myths and legends abound, but little fact is known at all. Only those of us who rule with the kings of the gods' blood in our veins even know of the portals. Which you’ll likely need to somehow torture out of Aelius before his death. But the fact remains, we are in the dark. Thankfully, we have a light to guide us.”

He looked at my little trails of starlight that followed my fingers as I traced them down the scales tattooed on his chest, before lifting my fingers to his lips to kiss them. “I suppose we will see which myths and legends prove true on our travels.”

Not knowing what we’d face in the Otherworld left me feeling incredibly nervous. We met with everyone before we left, hugging those we loved as if it might be the last time. I refused to let it, but it would be incredibly silly to ignore the fact that the possibility existed. Calix had begun to tell me a few of the myths about the Otherworld last night when we’d gotten… distracted , to say the least.

But I found I couldn’t regret spending that time together. We had so little of it right now.

Hand in hand, Calix led me through the palace. We moved down past the level containing the Hedone Room, which I had thought was the deepest level. But as it turns out, several more levels existed beneath it. Storage for artifacts and riches existed that I never could have imagined.

“You just… keep all of this? Here ?” I asked incredulously as he led me through a giant, cavernous room carved into the star opal that was filled with treasures of all kinds. Jewels and gold, ancient scrolls and antique furniture, priceless art, and carefully preserved dresses and suits from kings and queens long past. All just… everywhere .

“Where else should we keep it?” Calix asked, raising a brow with a slight chuckle.

“Somewhere safer?” I suggested, throwing the hand not tangled with his in the air, indicating all the stuff around us. “All of it is just sitting out!”

Calix’s adoring smile made me glare back at him. I was serious, dammit!

“No one can access any level past the Hedone room without the blood of Erebus or guided by one with it. The spells in place won’t allow it. They would crash into the walls, never gaining entrance. If they even figured out this was here to begin with. They cannot even see the door that leads down here.”

Oh. Well then.

It reminded me of the fortress as we passed through these levels of the palace. Like that building had been carved from the star opal Etheralta Mountain, these levels had no coverings on the walls, floors, or ceilings, like the upper levels did in certain places. While the palace let the star opal shine through in many important rooms, it was equally covered up elsewhere. I imagined it got tiring to look at the same thing day in and day out.

But down here, it was incredibly obvious that the palace had been crafted out of a gigantic chunk of star opal that must have already been here. There was no way it was brought in. It was so deep underground. I couldn’t imagine how it got here. And I hadn’t heard of any other ginormous pieces of star opal, big enough to craft a palace out of, outside of the mountains themselves.

The amount of star opal the palace was made from may be huge, but it was too small for mining like they did the Etheralta Mountains. Truly, a palace was probably one of the better ideas for what one could have done with a hunk of star opal lodged deep into the ground.

Walking down to the next level, I felt a chill come upon me. Calix gripped my hand tighter, and I let myself feel comforted by the strength in his grip. He wouldn’t let me go.

The stairs led us down into pitch blackness. My fingers were likely leaving bloody marks in Calix’s skin. Even with my Fae eyesight, I couldn’t see a damn thing in the darkness before us. Only turning my head back toward the stairs allowed me to see any light, but it only offset the deep darkness all the more.

I turned to Calix, and he merely lifted one foot into the black nothingness before us. A sudden whoosh made me jump, and I clutched Calix’s arm before mentally berating myself for acting like a scared maiden from one of the books I’d read.

Flames shot high to the ceiling, but where they came from, I had no idea. They brightened the space enough to see it was a cavern. A big empty space, smack dab between us and the other side of the path. There was no bridge, and I could barely see the other side; it was so far.

“What the fuck?” I mumbled to myself.

“My father showed me the portals when I was young.” Calix began, his wide shoulders heaving with a deep sigh as he stared across the flame-filled pit before us. “He explained that the gods put the portal behind certain protections. This one ensures only those who can fly can cross.”

Understanding filled me, and I watched as Calix’s wings shot out from his back. The black and purple scales shimmered in the light of the fire. I let my own wings unfurl, the flash of silver in the dark space contrasting sharply.

“Don’t let go of me.” Calix cautioned, the hand not entwined with mine cupping my cheek. “We have to follow a very specific path, or the flames will shoot out at us.”

I raised a brow, about to ask what the worry was, when he continued.

“These aren’t regular flames, my réalta. These are the fires of Tartarus itself.” A bit of fear entered Calix’s eyes that was so incongruent with everything I knew of him. He never got scared. “They will burn us the same as if we weren’t dragons.” My eyes widened as I realized just how dangerous this actually was.

I suddenly felt human all over again.

Staring out at the roaring flames that could shoot out and kill me, I gulped. I shook myself, squaring my shoulders. I hadn’t come this far to be taken out by rogue flames.

“I won’t let go,” I promised him, but had to tease him too. “After all, my dorchadas, you’re here to lead me through the darkness.”

Calix smiled slowly, but I couldn’t enjoy the beautiful sight for long, as his lips took mine with a passion that spoke of the fear he felt. His tongue forced its way into my mouth, and I gladly surrendered to it. When he finally pulled back to allow us to breathe, his forehead fell against mine, his silvery-white hair creating a curtain around us.

“No matter what happens, you have to get yourself home.” His voice sounded wrecked, and my worry instantly rose. I could feel him struggling in the bond, but he was doing his best to hide it.

“If you have to leave me?—”

His words summoned the fear I’d felt since I realized Calix was my mate. That this wouldn’t last. That it was all temporary.

“Not a fucking chance,” I whispered harshly. He pulled back to look at me, purple orbs clashing against blue as we started one another down.

“Celesterra needs you, Asteria. I can’t be selfish in this. If you need to leave me behind to get back, then you must do so,” Calix said, and his profound agony at the very idea of us being separated speared through my chest.

“It needs both of us, Calix,” I insisted urgently. “Forget what Sunrise or Day believe. Remember your own prophecy. Tartarus, remember mine! We have to do this together , or not at all. I’ll get nowhere without you. So you are not allowed to sacrifice yourself or fall behind. We are both going in there, and we are both coming out. There is no reality where we don’t. Do you understand me?”

His eyes searched mine, and I let him see and feel whatever he needed to in order to convince him of this. I let my fear and determination and incandescent rage at the very thought of him not coming back out into the open for him to see. As much as I had tried to push down all my chaotic feelings lately, I refused to keep this from him.

“Understood, my Queen,” Calix said sincerely, part reverent adoration and part relief. His lips took mine once more, and I let my hands snake into his hair and grip his shoulder as I held him to me for all I had.

I would take whatever moments we were granted.

But eventually, the roaring flames and dark cavern could no longer be ignored, and we pulled back. A last lingering kiss was shared before we both flew into the air, hands clasped.

Calix flew beside me, going slowly as we navigated around the reaching flames. I’d never seen fire behave in such a way. The flames had a mind of their own, constantly searching and reaching to grab onto someone. The path we took ensured they just missed us, but I flinched whenever it got too close.

“How in Tartarus did they build all this down here?” I whispered to myself, but Calix snorted.

“Tartarus indeed.” He chuckled, and I nearly slapped myself as I realized what I’d said. But the brief moment of levity was over too soon as we approached the end. I let out a sigh of relief as we touched down on the other side, but Calix remained stiff and alert.

“This next one is more dangerous.” He cautioned as we walked through the hall down to the next level. “I need you to stay behind me, okay?”

I opened my mouth to argue, but he rushed to continue.

“Please, my réalta,” he begged. “I know you want to fight by my side. It’s one of the things I love so much about you. But this requires a shadow wielder.”

My breath caught, as it always did when he said those words to me. But I focused on what he was telling me. If only a shadow wielder could handle this, I would be useless here. A liability. And Calix could get hurt trying to protect me.

I nodded, promising to stay behind him.

As we entered the next cavern, it was just as pitch black as the last was at first. Only this time, no flames appeared. I held onto Calix’s sword belt as he inched forward.

A growl to the left had my head swinging in that direction, but I couldn’t see a damn thing. The darkness was so all-encompassing, so oppressive, that I couldn’t even make out Calix’s hand in mine.

Slowly, light began to filter in, and as it did, I could see Calix was using his power to clear a path down the middle. Physically pushing the darkness to the side.

A snarl came from the right, and I felt the movement of the wind as something pounced when a blast of shadow sent it falling back into the darkness.

I looked around as best I could, alert as I followed right on Calix’s heels, my fingers digging into the leather of his sword belt.

More beasts growled around us, and the tapping of stalking claws moving toward us echoed around the space. My heart rate picked up, and I tried my best to breathe evenly and not distract Calix.

He sent skeins of shadow at each beast, knocking them back with a strangled cry from each one. While the darkness may keep them at bay, it didn’t do much to stop them from trying again.

Which was surely the point. They were meant to keep this place protected.

But…

The creatures seemed to avoid the light. Calix pushed back the darkness to let light in from holes in the cavern directly above us. Meaning we likely weren’t directly under the palace itself anymore. But the beasts avoided the light, trying to swipe out at us from the darkness.

An idea came to me, and I bit my lip.

“Calix?” I ventured, working to keep my voice even as the hair on the back of my neck stood on end. Something was behind me.

“Prepare to blast them all back at once,” I told him urgently.

“Wha—”

Before he even finished the word, I summoned my starlight around me and then pushed it out, lighting up the area around us and leaving only the edges of the room still in shadow.

The beasts howled, and I nearly joined them as I got my first look at them. They had no eyes, merely a mouth with razor-sharp fangs and two slits for a nose that must allow them to sniff out their prey. Shaped like a cross between a wolf and a panther, their fur was mangy and patchy. They were skinny enough to see their ribs but didn’t appear unhealthy either. It was the most disturbing combination.

Calix didn’t waste a second, and before a single howl finished, his shadows erupted and threw all of the beasts back against the walls. They landed with a thud and a whimper that almost made me pity the disgusting creatures.

He whipped around, grabbing my face, “You reckless— ” His lips crashed down to mine in a furious kiss before pulling quickly away, leaving me whimpering. “ Genius .” He kissed me again, and I tried to keep him there, but he leaned his forehead against mine.

“How did you know that would work?” he asked, brushing my hair back as he straightened up.

I forced myself to shrug casually, trying to relax from the rush of the moment. “They avoided the light.”

Calix scoffed a laugh, shaking his head. “ Avoided the light , she says. You have no idea how badly that could have gone. My father was extremely clear about only darkness being used to get through this level.”

“Well, yes,” I admitted, biting my lip slightly. Calix’s eyes narrowed in on the motion, and I could sense his desire as much as I could see it in his eyes, which were beginning to fill with color. “But there’s never been someone who had the power of starlight before either. It’s not as harsh as sunlight, so I knew it wouldn’t hurt them like that had the potential to do. It would just light the space enough to disorient them and keep them at bay.”

The pride he sent filled me and left me feeling like I was flying, even this deep underground.

“Well, only one place left to go,” Calix said heavily, lacing our fingers once more.

He brought me through the doorway and down another winding staircase, which led out to one more cavernous room.

Only, this one was a bit different.

At the other side of the room, stood a swirling, massive portal, leading to Tartarus itself.

Gods help us.