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Chapter Forty-three

Calix

Her words were reassuring, but I couldn’t help the worry I still felt. She’d been slowly closing herself off, her emotions dulled or shut away entirely. It started slowly at first, and I couldn’t think of anything that had happened to make her pull away. I could only assume it was me, as the bond between us became fuzzier and fuzzier until I could barely feel her.

She was so insistent that it wasn’t the case, and I wanted to believe her. The thought of losing her, after only just finding her… I couldn’t bear the thought of it. Four hundred years of hoping to one day be blessed with a mate, followed by twenty-one years of feeling her but being unable to reach her…

No, the thought was inconceivable.

And there was no time for it right now anyway. The Ladon were getting closer, and we needed to get the Tartarus out of range of the abyss before it was too late. One of those things was hard enough to put down.

We made for the doorway off to the side, and we ran through it, only to stop short on the other side. Right in front of us stood a glowing portal. A shimmering light encased it, and the portal itself was a swirling, milky white inside. So different from the portal we entered to get to Tartarus.

“What do we do?” Asteria asked, distressed. Her worried eyes were looking all over the place, like an answer might come to her if she looked hard enough.

“We have to trust the gods will lead us. This must be where we need to go,” I told her assuredly. I trusted they wouldn’t steer us wrong in this.

We couldn’t stay in Tartarus. We’d have to eventually cross into the city of the gods. Maybe this was the way?

“Come on, my réalta,” I urged, with a smile, hoping my own confidence would bleed through to her.

She nodded, taking a deep breath. I was in awe of how she managed to adjust to her new life. So much had changed for her so quickly, and she just kept rolling with it.

Though, obviously, something was bothering her. I just needed to get to the bottom of the issue. After this, I swore I would.

But for now, my priority was getting her far away from the Ladon. I nearly shivered, something I’d not done before an enemy since my very first battle as a green boy. Those fucking things were hard to kill, and stronger than anything I’d fought thus far. Anything that could brush off my shadows and take a blade to the back without blinking was something I didn’t want to tangle with more than necessary.

So, with Asteria’s hand firmly in mine, we threw ourselves into the portal before us.

I was blinded by white for a moment as we moved from one realm to the next within the milky smoke of the portal. When we fell through to the other side, I blinked slowly, taking in the realm in front of us.

It was as different to Tartarus as could be. The skies were blue instead of the constant bland grey. The ground was bursting with green, lush grass and wildflowers as far as I could see.

“Is this—” Asteria cut herself off, shaking her head as her wide eyes scanned the horizon.

“Elysium?” An eerily familiar voice answered, and my eyes widened in disbelief as I quickly spun to face them, unable to trust my memory of it after so many years. “Yes, it is.”

“ Mother ?” I somehow managed to say, barely even cognizant enough to notice Asteria’s gasp.

My vision felt like it was narrowing, while my body felt unmoored from the ground. Fresh grief ripped into me anew, paired with wonder and relief that nearly overwhelmed me. It took everything I had not to fall to my knees. Asteria grabbed onto my arm, her presence helping to center me back into reality. I grabbed onto her hand, her own strength helping to bolster me as I felt myself falter.

“Calix, my darling boy.” My mother smiled, her eyes misty as she looked me over. “Look at you! So grown.” She shook her head wistfully, a tear falling down her cheek.

“Is it really you?” I whispered, unable to believe this was happening.

My mother’s smile softened, and it hit me like a punch to the gut. She’d given me that smile so often as I was growing up. When she died, I lost that reassuring smile forever. Seeing her now, with her silver-tinted blonde hair and warm pink eyes, I felt such a morose nostalgia for a time long gone.

“It’s really me, love.” She stepped toward me, and Asteria made to step back, but I grabbed her hand to stop her from going more than that single step, needing her near.

But my mother’s arms came around me, and I was forced to let go to hold onto my mother. I tried to fight the tears, but I buried my head into her shoulder as they slipped out anyway, my shoulders heaving as my mother patted my back. I held onto her desperately, like I was a child once more.

“There, there, love,” she hummed. “I know. It’s been so hard for you. I’m so sorry I had to leave you. Especially with your foolish father following right after me,” she scoffed, and I heard Asteria try to stifle her surprised laughter. I couldn’t do the same and let myself chuckle as I pulled back to look at her.

Mother raised a hand to my cheek, patting it softly. “Thank you, son. You did such a wonderful job with your sisters. It warms my heart to know I raised a man who could step up and not just rule a kingdom, but handle two young girls! It’s quite the feat—I remember from being a young girl myself.”

She winked jokingly at Asteria, who smiled back in amusement.

“And you!” Mother’s arms raised as she looked over my mate, and I found myself strangely nervous. I had never imagined them actually meeting. My mother had died so many years before my soulmark came in that it had never been a possibility to consider.

“You must be Asteria, my boy’s mate,” Mother said as she engulfed Asteria in a hug.

“Oh!” Asteria yelped, looking like a scared cat as my mother embraced her, and I couldn’t help snickering at her expense. She glared at me over my mother’s shoulder, but I was too consumed by the image before me.

My mate and my mother, in the same place. Hugging, even. It was so surreal that I didn’t know what to do with myself.

“It is so wonderful to meet you!” my mother exclaimed as she pulled back, grabbing my hand and Asteria’s so she had a hold of both of us. “I had thought it would be many years until we could, but this is such a treat!”

“It’s great to meet you too,” Asteria replied, wide-eyed and bamboozled.

I’d forgotten how lively my mother truly was. That light she brought to all of our lives was extinguished so suddenly, it had left us all in the dark. No wonder my father had chased after her into death. No wonder my birth prophecy spoke of Asteria bringing light back to my kingdom.

“You two have come quite a long way.” Mother smiled at us both. “And you still have a ways to go yet.”

“Oh, don’t go being cryptic on the children now, Jemisha,” another voice teased.

I gasped, swinging my head toward the male cresting over the grassy hill we stood upon.

“Father,” I murmured.

Mother scoffed, shaking her head, “Don’t you go giving the game away, Orion. You know they will be unhappy.”

Father rolled his eyes before they landed on me. A peaceful smile lit his face. The sight was so strange. In the months after my mother’s death, grief had engulfed him like a shroud. I’d forgotten what happiness and peace looked like on him.

“Calix,” Father said, his eyes holding a suspiciously damp sheen to them. “Son.” His voice roughened, and the strands of green, blue, and pink in those lilac eyes we shared spoke of the emotion that had returned to him. His eyes had been nothing but pure purple after my mother’s death.

Seeing the colors now…

“Father,” I rasped, as he pulled me into a tight hug. I gripped his shoulders, hugging the ghost of the father I’d once known.

“Aren’t they adorable?” Mother attempted to whisper to Asteria, who giggled in response.

“Absolutely,” she agreed, and as I pulled back, I was struck stupid for a moment at the brilliant smile on her face.

I felt foolish then for doubting the depth of her feelings. Of course, there was a reason why she was cutting the bond off. Of course, it wasn’t us .

The fact that I was hugging my dead parents, and her smile was the thing that left me stunned, wasn’t lost on me.

“I need to apologize, son,” Father said, and I forced myself to look away from my mate to face him. “I left you to handle everything. Putting the pressure of the kingdom and your sisters on your shoulders. It was my job to raise you all, and I failed you in that.”

He sniffed back tears. I’d been sure this day couldn’t get more surreal, and yet, it kept managing to.

“Father, no—” I protested, shaking my head.

He put his hands on my shoulders. “I did. But I think you understand now. The loss of one’s mate is a horrendous experience. It kills a part of you that you can never get back, leaving you a hollow shell of the person you once were.”

Just the thought of it sent a bolt of pain to my heart. One I felt echoed through the bond.

My eyes connected with Asteria’s, and I relished in the starlight filling her eyes, her rage and despair at just the thought of losing me. It reassured me and instilled me with a confidence I desperately needed while faced with the man I’d modeled my life upon.

Despite those last months, when a stranger had seemingly replaced him, my father had always been my idol.

“I understand,” I told him with a clap on the shoulder. “I wouldn’t survive it either.”

My mother’s aww in the background as she slipped an arm around Asteria’s shoulder caused my father to send her a fond look. One I recognized as the stupid look frequently on my own damn face when looking at Asteria.

“You have made us so proud, son,” my father continued. “You’ve ruled well, and have managed to make the kingdom even stronger and fiercer than it was before. Your ancestors have done nothing but crow about what you’ve accomplished. You’ve done the house of Erebus proud.”

His praise filled me with warmth. The acknowledgment that I’d managed to live up to his legacy was more than enough, but to know my ancestors were pleased?

I’d worried for many years about what they might think of the changes.

“They don’t mind that he freed the slaves?” Asteria asked, head cocked to the side.

My father smiled at her, sending a quick wink back at me. “Isn’t she a beauty? You two will make us some adorable grandchildren.”

Asteria’s cheeks reddened at his words, and I reveled in getting to experience the rare treat of witnessing her blush. I couldn’t help smiling at her, sending her a wink of my own, which only increased the red hue.

“But to answer your question, the gods have made clear the plan,” Father told her, and my brows furrowed.

“What does that mean?” I asked, and the smirk on my father’s face made me sigh.

“Oh, now who’s being cryptic?” my mother murmured rebelliously.

Father tilted his head back with a laugh before grabbing my mother by the waist and pulling her into a kiss. I averted my eyes, meeting Asteria’s amused ones.

“I see where you get it now,” she whispered, causing my parents to pull back with flushed faces.

I was struck by the idea that they were truly happy. At peace . Elysium was everything they said it was. A paradise, where our loved ones who are granted entrance can live together forever.

“Forgive us.” Mother blushed. “We’re here to guide you two. We desperately wanted to meet the woman who’s had my son all tied up in knots.” She sent a smirk my way that made me roll my eyes, feeling like a teenager once more.

“You two have to continue on. We’ll guide you through to the next portal, but I’m afraid there’s a few more to take,” Father explained, shrugging apologetically.

“A few more?” I questioned, “I thought there was just Tartarus and Elysium to get through to reach the city of the gods?”

“That’s true.” Mother nodded in agreement.

“But your path isn’t straight,” Father added. “It isn’t like Celesterra, where there’s only one portal to each realm. There are multiple entrances between the two realms within the Otherworld.”

“And there are some areas the gods want you two to avoid. Don’t want to ruin all the surprises of Elysium after all!” Mother said cheerfully.

“Okay, so where do we go?” Asteria asked, raising a brow.

“First, you’ll need to go through the Lethe Fields. Make it through without getting sidetracked. Don’t step off the path,” Father explained.

“Then through the Chroi Oscailt Cavern.” Mother smiled sympathetically. “Use your hearts, and all will be revealed.”

“From there, you’ll take the portal to Tartarus. It will lead you to the Styx. You must navigate the river without wings and without touching the water,” Father informed us seriously, his forehead wrinkling in concern.

“From there, you must face the darkness inside to reach the next portal. Accept who and what you are, and you’ll just have a quick jump back here, where your ancestors will lead you to the final portal to Tartarus.” Mother smiled brightly. “When you arrive there, you’ll merely need to find the portal to the city of the gods from there! But take note of where you are and what you’ll see there. The past often holds many secrets we must learn.”

“Oh, is that all?” Asteria said, voice high and almost distant sounding in shock.

“This is a test, isn’t it?” I raised a brow at my parents.

“Well, the gods always have their reasons, son!” Mother insisted, still cheerful.

“Come on, we’ll guide you to the next portal.” Father put an arm around my shoulder, and Mother wrapped her arm around my unoccupied one. I was happy to see she also grabbed Asteria’s hand, squeezing it tightly.

Using the time we had as we navigated toward the portal to catch up with my parents, I found I couldn’t stop watching them with wide eyes. It was still difficult to believe this was happening. I had only expected to see them again at the end of a very long life. Even knowing we would journey through Elysium, I was sure the gods would keep any loved ones we wanted to see firmly away.

It was well known that the gods didn’t take well to the living and dead speaking. According to myth, a man once tried to sneak into Elysium and steal his dead lover back to the world of the living. He’d failed, of course, but the gods had been deeply unhappy with him for daring to try to disrupt the peaceful afterlife of a woman he claimed to love.

I could see why they were so firm on that now. I felt a bit of peace fill my own heart at the knowledge that my parents had been reunited in the afterlife and were happy once more. My mother’s death had devastated me, but my father’s death had haunted me.

Knowing how lost he’d been… seeing him found once more lifted a weight on my heart I hadn’t even realized was there.

They both seemed so much more alive in death. I wasn’t sure how to feel about that.

Walking through Elysium, I had no idea what to expect, but we came to a junction where I could see off in several directions. Each way, I spied what looked to be numerous cities and villages, each one different from the last.

“They let us stay wherever we please, here!” My mother gushed. “We, of course, stay in the best section. I think you’ll appreciate it especially, my dear,” she told Asteria as she led us in.

Tall nymph trees lined the path, higher and wider than any I’d ever seen. Starflies and fireflies flickered in different twinkling colors through their leaves. Their branches didn’t droop to the ground here due to their height, but instead created a vast canopy above us. Except for the middle of the lane, where the canopy stopped and let the stars shine down on the path. Which was strange, as it wasn’t night before we’d walked in here…

Asteria’s gasp of delight had me shifting focus to take in the rest, and I could see exactly why Mother thought Asteria would love this. Though how she knew her taste… I wasn’t going to give myself a headache trying to make sense of it.

Large houses lined each side of the street, with warm, glowing lights illuminating the entire area. And they were hardly the only source of light, with the stars above and the glowing flowers , adding to the bright, colorful, and frankly magical , atmosphere—even though it was the deepest night.

Pink, purple, and blue flowers were scattered everywhere. They draped off houses and were planted along the sides of the path. Vines containing more flowers twined around rooftops, which were more like palace towers than regular homes. A strange mix of royal and ordinary seemed to be incorporated into the design here.

The path itself was twinkling, with little lights twinkling on and off, and Asteria twirled herself down it, arms out at her sides as she laughed.

“Calix, do you see this?” She smiled brightly at me. “I was almost disappointed we weren’t going in the direction of Cloud City back there, but this is better than I could have imagined.”

I nearly laughed. I thought I might have imagined seeing a palace sitting atop a giant cloud before my parents brought us this way.

“I see it.” I stepped forward and grabbed her hand, twirling her myself with an adoring smile. She was too cute like this, and it was too rare she got to embrace this carefree side of herself.

She twirled in and out before stumbling into me. I caught her against my chest, and we smiled at one another. I leaned in for a kiss before the sound of a throat loudly clearing had us jumping apart like children caught doing something naughty. I nearly winced at myself. I was four hundred and twenty-one, for Nox’s sake! I wasn’t a child anymore.

“Oh, Orion!” Mother hit my father’s chest. “Let the children play,” she argued fiercely.

Asteria broke into laughter, her head hanging downward for a moment before she looked up at me brightly. “Yes, Calix, let’s go play!”

She giggled, before running down the path ahead. I sighed, looking to my mother, who just winked at me, and I took off after my wayward mate.

* * *

“Nox, I wish the girls were here to see this,” Asteria said wistfully as she looked around at all Elysium had to offer.

We followed behind my parents, hand in hand, as they led us through the city to where we needed to be.

“They will one day.” I reminded her, and she frowned at me, swatting at my chest. “What? They will!”

“That’s depressing.” She sighed, eyeing the area a bit more mournfully, and I nearly kicked myself.

I squeezed her hand. “Hey, look at me.”

She did, those wide blue eyes meeting mine, and I knew I could get lost there if I let myself.

“It’s a good thing, my réalta. We live two lives. One on Adamah, one in the Otherworld. It’s inevitable that the first won’t last forever, even for those of us who are immortal. All Fae eventually die, just like every human. But here?” I told her, waving a hand at our surroundings.

“Here, we all live again. A true immortality, but one shared by Fae and human alike. Where the concerns of class and race no longer matter. Death is the great equalizer. We all face it with the same thing: the truth of our souls laid bare. And we all receive the same fate: whatever we deserve. Be that an afterlife full of love and joy, or one of pain and despair—” I smirked. “If you’re like Cyrus anyway.”

Asteria couldn’t help but smile at my teasing, but she looked thoughtful, nonetheless, at my words.

“He’s right, you know.” My mother piped up. “And I don’t say that just because he’s my precious little boy.”

I sighed long sufferingly, pinching the bridge of my nose. Growling, “Mother.”

“Stop, it’s cute!” Asteria whispered in my ear, giggling.

I groaned and eyed my father, who shrugged at me with a smirk. No help from that corner.

“I’m agreeing with you, dear. Deal with it.” Mother sniffed; suddenly, every inch the queen who sat the throne beside my father. She only softened as she turned to Asteria, taking her hand.

“Death is nothing to fear, dear. I believe you already learned the truth of it.” Mother smiled knowingly. “A life not lived to its fullest is the greatest tragedy of all.”

Asteria sucked in a sharp breath. “How?”

Mother winked. “Let’s just say we’ve had some greater insight. Which is how I know you are just perfect for my boy.”

I suddenly felt a bit of water gathering in my eyes, and forced it back down before it could leak out.

“You will be a marvelous queen, Asteria.” My mother cupped Asteria’s cheek, looking at her intently. “And an even more marvelous mate. Anxiety is insidious, and we dragons know that more than most. Our emotions can be erratic, uncontrollable, even.”

She dipped her head, and Asteria’s eyes widened, and I was sure I was the only one who noticed the slight tremble of her hands.

“But that’s just part of who we are. Embracing it will set you free, my girl. You have struggled so hard, for so long. Beating against the bars of an invisible cage. Don’t put yourself back in there. Anxiety will crop up again and again. There’s nothing we can do about that. What we can change is how we answer it. Once you know those fears whispering in your ear are just that: fears with no power over you—you will be set free from their influence. Even if they keep whispering away, you can brush them to the side. It’s a battle we face all our lives. Rage and anxiety pull from the same well, and they drive us dragons more than the rest. So if it’s control you’re after, here is where you can grasp it.

“So you will live your life to the fullest, and many, many years from now, you two will join us here, and live a second life even more full of love and laughter than the first!” Mother smiled, and a tear tracked down Asteria’s cheek. She merely wiped it away and pressed a kiss to her forehead before pulling her into a tight hug.

I tried to control my own emotions at the sight. Nox, seeing them together broke through every wall I had. A dream I didn’t even know to wish for.

“But for now, it’s time for you to finish your journey here, and then head home to live that life. We’ve arrived,” my father added, pointing to the field before us. “When you get home, you tell the girls how sorry I am, will you? But let them know I’m glad they had the best brother there was to step in for me.”

“Father…” I didn’t know what to say, standing here before him, about to say goodbye once more.

He grabbed me in a hard hug, his hand on the back of my head. “I love you, Calix. And I’m so fucking proud of you. No father has ever been so proud in the history of the Otherworld, I tell you.”

I laughed roughly, trying to swallow the lump in my throat, and pulled back to look him over once more. Seeing the same silvery-white hair and lilac eyes streaked with color, it was like looking in a slightly skewed mirror, just enough of my mother in me to not be quite identical.

“You two look more like twins than my twin and I do,” Asteria commented idly with amusement. I snorted, shaking my head with a smile.

“Oh, Calix.” My mother came over, wrapping me in her arms. I held her tightly. “Your father already told you how proud we are, but know I could never have asked for a better son. I love you so much. It was the greatest honor of my life to raise you. And as much as I would have loved to raise both your sisters, I’m grateful for the time Ndrita and I did have. I wish I could have been there for my little Livie, but you did such an amazing job with her. You tell both my girls I love them so much, and I’m so proud of them both, too.”

Mother sniffed, the tears in her eyes beginning to roll down her cheeks. “And I better not see you again for a long, long time. I want an army’s worth of grandchildren all the way down to great-great-great-grandchildren before you even think about it! You hear me?”

I laughed at her commanding tone, while Asteria nearly choked at her words. My father chuckled, patting her on the back. He leaned down to whisper theatrically, “Don’t worry, you’ll have plenty of land for them to rule.”

Facing them both, I swallowed hard. My hand shook, and Asteria grabbed it, squeezing it tightly and holding me up when I wasn’t sure I could keep standing on my own.

“I don’t want to say goodbye.” My voice trembled as I choked back my tears, a few breaking through despite my struggle.

“Oh, Calix.” My mom breathed, a smile rising. “This isn’t goodbye. We’ll see each other again, and you’ll get to tell us all the wonderful things you two have accomplished since we last met.”

She kissed me on the cheek, as my father smiled over at me. “We’ll see you both again soon. But in the meantime, live your lives for the love you share. Enjoy and embrace every moment.”