Page 45 of Not Your Enemy

"I—," cutting myself off, I thought about what I should say. I wanted to tell her I'd never hurt her again, but that felt like a lie. Maybe it was what she needed to hear, wanted to hear, but it wasn't true.

"I can't promise that, Jade. Don't get me wrong; I don't want to hurt you. But I'm not perfect, and I'm still trying to unlearn the behavior that got me here. The behavior that made me think choosing Jana was the morally correct thing to do, when it was the opposite of what I wanted." I sighed, fidgeting with my hair before I continued. "What I will promise you is that I won't hide anything from you. I won't ghost you just because I fear the consequences. And I won'tallow Jana or anyone to make me choose anymore. I'll do everything I can to think of your feelings and my feelings before acting."

Her intense gaze was on me, staring in silence as she processed what I'd said.

“Okay, that's…that's good,” she spoke, her arms falling to her sides and expression losing some of its tension.

"I still love you too, Jade," I spoke, realizing I hadn't returned her sentiment.

Taking a step towards me, I did the same until we were face to face. She pulled me in, and I wrapped myself around her, burying my face in her neck and breathing in her woodsy amber scent. My eyes rolled back in my head at her smell, the feel of her toned body against mine, her silky smooth hair against my cheek. She was hugging me tight, as if she were just as scared as I was that this moment would be ripped away from us.

“I’m so sorry,” I whispered through my tears against her neck, leaving kisses there and somehow tightening my embrace. She felt like home, like heaven, like safety. “I missed you so much,” I told her with my broken, shaky voice.

“I missed you too. And I’m still mad at you, but I don’t want to be apart from you anymore. I don’t want to hurt anymore. And even though you deserve it, I don’t want you to hurt anymore either.” Her voice was shaky too, and when I leaned back to lock onto her green eyes, they were red and puffy from her tears.

Moving my hands up to her face, I wiped them off her cheeks, wanting to begin mending any pain I caused, even if it was only a minuscule step toward doing so. My hands stayed there, holding her perfect, flushed face with care. My love, my sweet, forgiving, understanding love.

“May I kiss you?” I asked, not wanting to overstep when I was finally in her arms again.

Without a reply, her lips were on mine, her tongue already seeking entrance into my mouth. I kissed her back with the same force, the same pure need to just be with her, as close as was humanly possible. My hands moved to her hair, gripping the soft strands firmly. Her hands still had a tight, forceful hold around my back, not moving an inch. I was moaning into her mouth with every stroke of her tongue against mine. It was the best feeling I’d ever experienced. My whole body was lit up at her touch, her embrace, having craved nothing else for so long.

“Fuck,” Jade whispered against my lips as I panted for her tongue to return.

I didn’t care that we were outside in broad daylight; I needed her. Now! She backed me up against my driver’s side door, moving her arms to slide her hands down the sides of my waist, then under my shirt until she was cupping my breasts through my bra. Letting out an embarrassingly loud moan, I wrapped my arms around her neck until her mouth was back against mine. Her taste. I had missed her sweet taste so much alone. I needed more. I needed anything and everything she would give me.

“Can we go inside?” She asked between kisses down my jaw and neck.

I was glad she had enough sense to care about us being outside, where my parents might drive up at any moment. Just because I'd realized they were more accepting than I thought didn't mean they'd want to see Jade and me making out in the driveway. But she was so distracting that it was hard to remember that.

"My parents will be back soon. Can we go to your place?" I asked, hoping it wasn't too presumptuous. She may still need space, and that was totally understandable.

Pulling back, she looked down at me with a vibrant smile. My heart leaped at the sight of her happiness.

"Yeah, princess. Let's go."

Epilogue

“Baby girl, hold still for me. Just a few more minutes.” Jade had said that at least three times already, but I nodded and shut my eyes tightly while I tried to breathe through the pain.

She’d been thrilled when I told her I wanted a tattoo, my first, and that I wanted her to put it on me. I wanted something that reminded me of her, and I knew it was bad luck to get super-specific couple tattoos, but I felt like this was vague enough that it’d be fine. Not that I felt like there was truly anything I could get that would hurt us; we were solid. To the point where I was putting some money aside to save up for a ring. Was it too soon? Probably, but what about our relationship wasn’t? I mean, they say when you know, you know, and with Jade, I knew. She’s my sweetheart, even though she was stabbing me and causing me immense pain at the moment.

“I did warn you, princess,” she said, not glancing away from her work when I flinched again.

She’d warned me the hip was not a fun area to get tattooed, but I just thought it was gonna look so cute there. The black feathers,like a continuation of the ones falling from her angel tattoo on her arm. I’d also asked her to design something for me. Remembering how she’d complained before about not getting to do as many expressive or creative pieces as she liked. Although I did slightly regret that currently as I ground my teeth together. She was in an area that felt like she was digging into my bone, and I was trying my best not to squirm again.

One of her hands slid down to smack my ass when I twitched, causing me to squeak, and then blood rushed to my cheeks when I thought about the other people in the shop overhearing. Jade laughed in a teasing tone, and I gave her an angry look that she seemed to ignore. Despite the pain, the entire ordeal was sexy. Like I’d brought her food or coffee before while she was working and seen her in action, but being the one all her attention was on was even hotter.

She just looked so confident in her element like this. Not to mention, her free hand kept rubbing my thigh whenever she pulled the needle away momentarily. Pretty sure I was wet between my thighs despite the pain I was in, which was kind of embarrassing. Part of me thought she already knew my predicament and planned to tease me about it later. I could only hope she did, because it wasn’t something I wanted to outright admit.

“Done,” Jade stated, and thank fuck was all I could think before sitting up.

Without looking at my new ink, I got up from the table and started walking over to the floor-length mirror in Jade’s booth. I took in the black feathers cascading down my left hip and upper thigh. I loved them! They looked so pretty and just like the ones on Jade’s arm. My cheeks flushed again, and for some reason I wanted to cry, happy tears of course. I just never thought I’d do something like this, and to have my super hot girlfriend give it to me made it all just so unreal.

“It’s so beautiful, Jade, I absolutely love it! You’re so amazing,” I told her, walking back over to pull her into my arms.

“Mm,” she murmured against my lips. “I’m glad you like it.”

She gave me a few gentle kisses before making me sit down so she could apply some ointment to my new tattoo. Leaning back into my space, she kissed the skin below my ear, causing me to shiver.