Page 25 of Not Your Enemy

“I should go shower,” I stated with a smirk. “Then I can make us breakfast, and we can figure out what the plan is for the day.” Jade kept staring into my eyes in a way that made me feel like ever leaving this bed was a mistake. She let out a long sigh and turned to lie flat on her back.

“Don’t get me wrong, Libby, I enjoy spending time with you. But I’m so ready to be done with this place. It’s just so hard sometimes to sort through what feels like piles of memories.”

Sitting up at her words, I took them in and examined them. I couldn’t imagine what this was like from her perspective, losing both parents and then essentially having to quickly dig through their lives and determine what she wanted and didn’t. I again felt how important this time would have been for Jade and Jana’s relationship, something I still needed to address with Jana.

“I’m so sorry, sweetie. I can’t imagine how hard this is for you. If you need to talk about any of it, I’m here.” It was nothing but the truth. I’d be honored to comfort her or offer support in any way I could.

She crawled over until her head was in my lap. “I just…I don’t know. I just wish things were different. Like I wasn’t close to either of my parents, but it wasn’t for lack of trying." Her gaze drifted away from mine and towards the popcorn ceiling. "When I was younger, I practically fell over myself to please them. The only time I got attention was when I was the best at something or behaved better than Jana. It wasn’t until I moved out that I realized I didn’t have to do anything just for the sake of pleasing them. My sexuality, my job, my appearance—none of it was good enough for them, so they just kind of separated themselves further from me. And as much as I told myself I was fine with that, I guess a part of me always hoped that things would change. But now they’re both gone, and I guess I just feel inadequate.” I wiped a tear from my eye, unable to believe that her own parents made her feel like this. It broke my heart, both for her and for Jana.

“You are not inadequate, Jade. I’m sorry to speak ill of them, but they were stupid to push you away. From what I already know of you, you are kind, beautiful, and so smart. Not to mentionstrong—I mean, look at how successful you are. You have your own business, own a home. Please don’t feel you aren’t more than enough for anyone. You are truly a special person, Jade.” I barely got the last word out before she shot up and placed her lips on mine, pushing until she was lying down on top of me. I giggled against her lips at her urgency.

“That was the sweetest thing ever, Libby,” she stated between kisses.

“It was only the truth.” I returned her kiss and wrapped my arms around her back.

After a few sweet moments, she pulled away from me, and we both sat up.

“Come on, let’s go shower.” I giggled at her words as she took my hand, pulling me up from her bed.

It wasn’t until I finished making our chocolate chip pancakes I checked my phone. I’d missed a text from Jana late last night and a call about an hour ago. Subconsciously, I think I’d been avoiding looking at it for this very reason. It was so much easier to hide from what I’d done when I wasn’t having to communicate with Jana.

And the truth was I didn’t regret one moment I’d spent with Jade, but I regretted the hurt I knew it would cause my friend. Beyond that, I didn’t know what to say to her. I mean, it wasn’t like I was obligated to just come out and say, “hey I slept with your sister,” but at the same time, not mentioning us dating felt like withholding information. I checked my email and then locked my phone, telling myself I’d call her back later tonight; it didn’t have to be right this moment.

“What was Jana like in college?” Jade asked, pulling me from my thoughts.

We were sorting through a storage closet on the second floor that, unsurprisingly, was full of clutter. Clothes that Jana and Jade had long grown out of, school textbooks and old backpacks, even a box of old flip phones. Her line of questioning surprised me, but I guess itshouldn’t have. If anything, she’d shown nothing but genuine interest in her sister’s well-being since I’d been here.

“Well, she was a teacher’s pet. I mean, the girl was everybody’s favorite, a straight-A student, the whole nine. I was always really impressed that she could tackle everything she set her mind to. Like it was never a bad day for her, maybe a bad moment, but her tenacity has always been off the charts.” Jade nodded in acceptance of my answer.

“I’m sure some of that came from our childhood. I know I’ve mentioned the whole competition my parents put her and me through. But regardless, that’s good to hear. It sounds like she’s been successful with her career, so I’m happy for her.” She added a stack of books to the box we had marked for donations before continuing. “Anyone could see why she wanted to be your friend, but what about you? Why did you want to be Jana’s?” I considered for a moment, though not a long one. She was truly the best friend I’d ever had.

“Have you ever heard the whole joke about extroverted people picking a random introverted person to be friends with? I kind of feel like that’s what Jana did with me. Back then, I was a mess in some ways. I had little confidence in myself, and to be blunt, there were things that I just straight-up didn’t like about myself.”

I paused for a second, remembering the self-doubt that used to live rent-free in my head. It wasn’t totally gone, but comparatively speaking, it used to be on another level entirely.

“Anyway, we were dorm-mates, and she was immediately kind to me. I didn’t know what to expect, and it was like meeting someone you knew you were going to be good friends with off the bat. We ended up doing everything together. Parties, double dates, study sessions.” I had to stop myself from referring to her as my sister, as I didn’t want to hurt Jade’s feelings.I wrapped up my spiel, hoping I hadn’t laid it on too thick. “She also hyped me up all the time. Always made me feel like I was the prettiest person in the room. Just having someone in my corner like that, I’d never really experienced it before, and it felt amazing. She's been a supportive person in my life.”

Looking over at Jade, I saw she was taking me in with a light expression, seemingly moved by my words. “That’s wonderful. I’m glad you guys have each other.”

“Me too. And I hope one day that the two of you can reconnect. The whole situation breaks my heart. Especially now that I’ve met you and can tell the both of you are such loving people.” I genuinely hoped that they could be friends one day. They both deserved peace.

“Look at this!” Jade said loudly, grabbing my full attention. She was holding a fuzzy purple diary.

“That was yours?”

“Yep. Pretty sure I filled this thing up after only a month.” She opened it up and sifted through the pages.

“Anything worth sharing? You don’t have to if it’s private.” I was biting my lip out of curiosity, wondering what was on those pages.

“Private? Princess, I was like twelve when I wrote in this. It may be a little embarrassing, but nothing I can’t handle. We can look through it together if you want to tonight,” she stated before winking at me.

Chapter 16

Jade sat next to me at the dining table as we both ate sandwiches she'd made for us. Mine was turkey and pepper jack, and she'd even cut the crust off for me. I'd never outright told her I didn't care for it, but I'm sure my not eating it became obvious.

"So, after you and Jana's rooms, we still need to clean out the attic, garage, and storage building. Right?" I asked Jade as I tried to think through my plan for the following week. "Well, plus the places we've skipped, like the kitchen and stuff." I took a bite of my sandwich before looking over at a smirking Jade.

"Sounds right," she said before wiping her mouth with a napkin. "I haven't booked the movers yet, since I'm not sure when we will finish here. And we'll need to have a garage sale too."