Page 40 of Not Your Enemy
“Nice to meet you. Logan, is it?” I asked, extending my hand for a handshake. He brought my hand to his lips for a kiss instead, and I tried to hide my distaste behind a huge grin. He was really trying hard, and also, who does that? I’d only ever seen that happen in Austen movies or something.
“Yes, and this is my sister, Sydnee.” He turned an open palm in the woman’s direction. She stood and walked around the table, giving a quick embrace to Jana before facing me.
“Hi, lovely to meet you.” She placed her hand in mine as if she expected me to kiss it like Logan did. I brought my other hand on top of hers and patted it gently. Kind of awkward, but I don’t know what she expected. “Let’s sit and get to know each-other, yes?” she asked, giving me a very suggestive smile. My stomach tightened up. Surely this wasn’t the intention. Were they trying to set me and Sydnee up? Like this was a double date?
I took my seat across from Sydnee and next to Jana. Clearing my throat, I tried to get my emotions in order. Logan kicked off the conversation by asking Jana about her workday. Which I already knew would lead to a good few minutes’ rant before she settled. Then he ordered a bottle of wine for the table, which I couldn’t be too mad about, especially since it was a pricey Merlot. Sydnee poured me aglass, and when I looked over at her, she was smiling at me almost aggressively. I gulped before thanking her and averting my gaze.
“What did you get last time that was so good, Jan?” I asked, even though I already knew the answer. I was trying to move the conversation back along to help with the awkwardness.
“She got the stir-fry; we all did, actually. It’s the best thing here,” Sydnee answered.
“Oh, I didn’t realize it was the three of you last time,” I stated with a smile. It made me feel better. Maybe she just liked to tag along with her brother or something. Nothing to do with me specifically.
“It was us and our parents. I wanted to introduce my family to my lovely Jana,” Logan said.
I did not realize how serious things had gotten between Jana and him. That made me feel like shit because I knew I’d been distant. I’d never been so out of the loop before when it came to Jana’s relationships. Or Jana’s anything.
“Oh, that’s sweet,” I said truthfully. Offering him a kind smile.
“That’s when she told me about her single, gorgeous friend. I’ve been looking forward to meeting you.”
The noise started fading out as I took in Sydnee’s words. Jana had shown her a picture of me? Was trying to hook her up with me? Said I was single? I was going to throw up. I couldn’t breathe. How could she do that when she knew I was still hurting? We didn’t talk about Jade, but I knew she could tell that I wasn’t myself. And Sydnee clearly knew this was a date when I didn’t even know she was coming.
“I, um—” Scooting my seat back, I stood up abruptly. “Excuse me,” I said, making a beeline for the bathroom.
The heavy door swung open, and I didn’t even check that I was alone before clutching the countertop and peering down at the white marble sink. My heart was racing. I couldn’t believe Jana would do this to me. She made me choose, but anyone could see I wasn’t over Jade.I mean, my coworker, whom I’ve never seen or met in person, asked me if I was doing okay last week because my voice had sounded off for a while. But Jana thought she could just set me up, and I’d be totally down with it?
The worst part was that I felt like just being here was a betrayal to Jade. Which was a stretch, seeing as I didn’t even know this was a date and Jade and I weren’t technically together. But it did. It made me feel sick and like I wanted to crawl up into a ball and hide away from this fucking restaurant. Looking up, I saw where my mascara had run down my cheeks, successfully ruining my makeup and bringing out my god-awful eye bags. An urge ran through me to punch my reflection. Shatter the mirror into tiny pieces, the same way my heart was.
I pulled my phone from my purse and immediately went to my photos. The last photo I’d taken was from five weeks ago. Jade had her arms wrapped around my neck from behind, leaning in to give me a kiss on my cheek while I snapped a pic of us. I looked so happy, and she looked so beautiful. God, I missed her so much. If I could go back in time, I’d find some way to never leave that house. To stay there with her forever and just exist in her presence. I grabbed a tissue from the holder between the two sinks before wiping at my runny nose. I couldn’t take my eyes off Jade’s soft lips that were caressing my skin. Her green eyes, which were hidden behind her long, thick lashes. Her high cheekbones and tight jawline.
The door swung open behind me, Jana rushing in.
“What are you—,” her words cut off as she took in my phone. No doubt seeing the photo of Jade kissing me. I locked my screen and slid it back into my purse without looking away from her in the mirror.
"What the fuck, Jana?" I turned to face her, not caring that I was being way too loud in this public place. "Why would you do this to me?"
"God forbid I try to set up my single friend with a beautiful, successful woman," she spoke sarcastically with her hands on her hips.
"But you know I'm not ready to date anyone. And you could have asked me. You didn't even tell me she was coming tonight, which makes me think you knew I wouldn't have come if you had told me." I shook my head at her in disbelief.
She spread her hands out before responding. "Of course I knew you wouldn't come. You barely talk to me anymore, Lib. It's like pulling teeth to get more than a hello from you nowadays." She took a deep breath before continuing. "I honestly thought moving on with someone might help you."
"Oh, and that's your decision to make? I guess since you already told me I can't be with Jade, you can just pick who I can be with." I'd stepped closer into her space, letting the pent-up emotion I'd held in for weeks finally explode out of me.
"You're an adult; I can't tell you what to do. I just said that if you wanted to date her, you'd lose me." She spoke the words calmly, making whatever tidbit of sanity I had left dissipate.
"Yes, you made me choose between my best friend in the world and the woman I'm in love with. So, guess I'm sorry that even though I gave in to your stupid, manipulative game that it's taking me time to get over the best relationship I've ever had." How could she not see how selfish she was being? Not just making me choose, but attempting to dictate how I could feel about it.
"Love?" Jana asked, her face scrunched in utter confusion.
I huffed out a breath before responding. "Yes, Jana, love. I love her."
She stared at my blotchy, red face for a moment, seeming to be thinking deeply based on her scrunched brows and frowning lips.
“I’m leaving,” Jana said, spinning around and pushing her way out of the bathroom before I could respond.
Was I a bad person if I didn’t care that she was upset? I couldn’t believe she was trying to make herself the victim in this situation. Did she not realize how hard things had been for me in the past month? How I’d barely gotten by? How I’d cried myself to sleep wondering how I could have been such an idiot to hurt the person I loved?