Page 5 of Not My Mate

I like hearing it, even if it was only true to him. I drank in the compliments. Then the screen door creaked, and there was my rival/friend/enemy/something else. There was Russ, glaring at me, still in his wolf form. I had assumed he would change back and I would be a wolf this afternoon, since that was how we usually did it, trading off who was in wolf form so we would be less likely to be at each other's throats. But no, he'd stayed big and furry, had gotten the screen door open on his own, and was now glaring at me balefully. Sahil turned on his heels slightly and smiled, holding a hand out to Russ.

Russ stalked over. There was no other word for it than stalked. If I had been Sahil, I would not have held a hand out to that monstrous wolf. The glare for me never left Russ's eyes, but he let himself be touched by Sahil. His gaze kept slanting towards me, to see if I had noticed.

I'd noticed. Sahil, apparently, also thought that he — Russ, the scruffy thing — was a beautiful wolf. Russ gave me a triumphant look that said I could eat my heart out and like it. I felt a howl starting in my chest and swallowed it back, though it almost choked me.

Sahil turned back to me and buried his face against my fur, breathing in the clean smell of it, wrapping his arms around me as trustingly as a child would have done. I felt something ease inside me and deliberately didn't look at Russ. He just wanted to hurt me. I should have known how to stop letting it work by now, but I didn't. Sahil's gentle, clever fingers scratched my fur, comforting me.

The screen door smacked again as Russ slipped out and away. Finally.

"It's all right, dear," Sahil said to me in a gentle voice. "You'll figure it out." He gave me a quick kiss on the muzzle and let me go. His eyes were bright and sad when he looked at me. "Sometimes things take time, okay?" He ran a hand back over my fur again, and the discomfort his words brought eased with the touch. It was like he wanted to tell me something — something I didn't want to hear or even contemplate. I didn't have to work anything out with Russ; I had to tolerate him, which I did, barely.

"I wish I could spoil you with something nice for lunch, but I have an unexpected appointment, so you'll need to fend for yourself." He rose with a regretful sigh. "There's ham in the fridge," he added, apparently hoping that that would make up for him not being here. It wouldn't; how could it?

I stayed by his side for another quick pat even though my stomach was grumbling. I followed him out to his car and sat by the side of the driveway as he started the engine, gave me another wave, and started off. He should have a bodyguard with him, I thought disconsolately. Sahil was one of the more powerful and important men in the area. He shouldn't be driving himself and going somewhere alone. I should —

A wolf's bark caught me off-guard just as some large, hairy beast knocked me over. Russ. Of course it was Russ. I growled up at him as he bit at my fur, frustrated, angry bites that didn't go deep enough to cut or wound.

He worried at my fur, growling under his breath, and I flailed my paws at him to kick him away, flipped myself over and was on my four paws again. He caught my tail and shook it, still growling all the while. I tried to twist around and snap at him, but he had a pretty good hold on me, and it couldn't quite reach.

"Would you two stop it?" said Killie, joining us unexpectedly. He aimed a swat at Russ's rump, and in his surprise, Russ let go of my tail. I twisted around quickly so I was facing him and he wouldn't be able to grab it again. I bared my teeth soundlessly at him. Above us, Killie was saying something, but I couldn't concentrate on it, couldn't focus on anything but the look on Russ's stubborn, hurt, angry face. He sure did take my feelings for Sahil personally, and he hadno right. No fucking right at all.

Killie reached down and swiped his hand through the air between us to get our attention. "Would you listen to me? It's all fun and games till someone gets hurt."

Fun and games? Us? Nope. But we also would never really hurt each other, either. One thing wolves learn early in life is to moderate themselves, how to use their strength without hurting someone accidentally. But Killie's words — so like a scolding dad's — made me smile inwardly and look up at my friend. I always liked Killie best in my wolf form, and the feeling was mutual. He smiled back down at me.

Russ made a displeased grumbling sound and turned away, his tail low. He walked off, head down, not even bothering to look back.

I wouldn't let his weird moods affect me. Not today. I smiled up at Killie again and then bumped his legs. He staggered, taking a quick step backwards. He was a big, tough human, but I could've knocked him over if I'd really been trying.

"All right," he said, half-smiling, and held his arms out. I jumped up into them quick as a wink and found myself tucked up close against the big, strong non-shifter. He smiled as he dug his fingers into my fur, hugging me close to him. "You big puppy," he said fondly.

He thought I didn't understand what he was saying. I did; I just didn't care. Who could mind being his big puppy?

In human form, I had little to do with him outside of work. He didn't talk to me much, and I didn't hang around him. It was strictly business. But when I was a wolf, and we weren't working, it was different. I liked him hugging me, kissing my fur, roughhousing with me.

I was fairly certain I reminded him of a dog he used to have, or something like that, but I didn't care as long as he didn't rub my nose in it or callmea dog. I reached up with my long tongue and licked his neck. He buried his face in my fur, hiding his smile.

It felt good to be held.

If he'd tried to hug me in human form, I don't know how I'd have handled it. I'd probably have frozen, then freaked out and shoved him and ran away. But this was different. This was perfectly safe, and extremely nice.

It was comforting, too. Missing Sahil and squabbling with Russ never left me feeling very good. This comforting affection did.

#

Ididn't see Russ again till we were back to training. He was finally in his human form. Good — that meant I could stay a wolf without us ending up in a huge fight.

I felt like Kim was watching us and pretended not to notice. I didn't care what she thought. I didn't think she thought it was all fun and games, though. She was smarter than Killie about some things.

Russ gave me a hard, resentful stare, and I stayed out of his way, as far from him as possible without being too obvious about it.

We put in more hours training. When the newbies had taken all they could handle in the field training, we went over some more classroom stuff with them. Mostly the others. I slipped away to work on my engine for a few guilty minutes. I missed it when I was away.

They left, at last. I had been missing Sahil a lot, and my stomach rumbled something fierce as I looked forward to dinner as well. Soon I'd have an excuse to go and see him and something get something to eat. My mouth watered for both.

On a shitty day, or at the end of a long one, just leaning against Sahil, just soaking in his peaceful warmth, could make me feel so much better, no matter what.

I hadn't seen him in my human form much recently, so I didn't bother shifting back to wolf. I washed up well and left my engine to sit and think about what it wasn't doing, then headed to the house, already smiling a little in anticipation.