Page 48 of Not My Mate

Russ wanted me, too. I could tell. That thought didn't disturb me the way it used to. Sometimes it meant I had to take a lot longer in the shower before I was fit company, if you know what I mean.

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At this point, we had been dating long enough that I'd told my parents. They were cautiously optimistic. Dad said that Russ had better treat me right; Mom said he'd seemed like a nice young man, and she was very happy as long as I was, but that I should please not date someone just because I thought they wanted me to.

"I wouldn't do that, Mom," I'd assured her.

Rosa had been super happy for me, no caveats, and had said something about grandchildren for my parents, which was ridiculous. I was far too young to think about that. Also, far too much of a mess. I'd never want to have some fragile young life as my responsibility; there'd be too much pressure, too much of a chance to mess up. Also, the fact remained that I wasn't a very good wolf. I certainly wouldn't be able to teach anyone else the ins and outs of managing life as wolf shifter.

Anyway, after dating for a few weeks without having sex or making any serious commitment, it was far too soon to think about such things. But I was pretty sure I was never going to think about them, at least not without freaking out. I could barely take care of myself. Dealing with feelings, balancing work and my hobby, taking care of myself and my mental health, verbalizing wants and needs in a way that made sense to other people — yeah, my plate was full. Even before we'd started this boyfriend thing, my plate had been pretty damned full.

––––––––

RUSS

Things were going well. Better than I'd ever expected. Charlie seemed to have almost as much fun dating me as I did him. Things were going slowly — I'd have expected no less — and I relished the simple things we shared, the occasional kisses and hugs, and going for a run with him.

From the outside, we probably still appeared to have a slightly abrasive relationship at times, but I knew that when I stole his popcorn and he called me a piece of shit, we were both just teasing and expressing affection in a less embarrassing way than actually saying aloud how we felt about each other.

At least, how I felt. I wanted to give him everything, to make him happy, to be with him for life. There was no way I could give him more than his parents and Sahil could, and probably did, but I could at least spend time with him, tease him, make him smile and laugh.

"Today, I'm picking the date," Charlie said in an unusually firm and decisive tone. He gave me a quick look to see if I disagreed, but of course I just smiled at him.

"That would be wonderful. I'll look forward to seeing where you pick."

He gave me a short, single nod. "It's not quite a normal date," he replied.

"My interest is piqued," I promised, snaking my arms around his middle and giving him a light kiss on the cheek. I was allowed to do both now without asking permission each time.

"As long as you don't do it when I'm doing something delicate to an engine," he'd said, as if I might be planning to throw off his concentration at a particularly intense moment.

"Of course not," I'd told him. "I wouldn'tdreamof it."

He'd given me a slightly suspicious look, but dropped it. That left me a lot of scope, of course, and he'd soon added caveats about not hugging and kissing him while he was drinking something, or eating, or otherwise engaged in an activity where he could choke.

"Unless you'dliketo kill me?" he'd added in a pleasantly acid voice.

"I'll have to think about that," I'd said with a sweet smile — at which point we'd both cracked up.

It was really nice being able to tease him and having him know what I meant by it.

Naturally, I was surprised when our date-that-he'd-picked ended up involving a one-hour drive. We went past expensive restaurants and various cute, touristy attractions, hometown diners, a small car show (I thought for certain we would stop there, but nope, he kept going), and a pick-your-own-fruit orchard. Any of them would've made an excellent date.

Instead, he drove to a zoo.

He cast me a quick look as we got out of the car, as if checking to see if I was pleased. I tried to look pleased, but I definitely was not.

To my horror, after he'd paid, he led the way straight towards the predator area and to the wolf enclosure. It was a pathetic-looking area, even if it only held one wolf.

My skin itched at the thought of being in such a place, day in and day out, with no real room to run and nothing to do but stare back at the ones who stared at you all day. Yes, they were animals, but surely they deserved better.

"Um, Charlie?" I said, but he wasn't paying attention to me. He'd walked right up to the bars, and the lone wolf inside the cage, a grizzled, aged-looking male, got up and walked slowly over to him. It sat down, staring straight back at him. The two made more extended eye contact than I'd ever see Charlie make with anyone. I shut my mouth and watched.

What was going on here? It felt important, as well as a bit frightening. I decided to wait for Charlie. He obviously had some purpose for what he was doing, but this was definitely not the fun sort of date I'd been imagining. Something was going on here.

"This is my friend," Charlie said in a trembling, choked sort of voice. "This is the first wolf I met. He's old now."

I eased closer to stand beside him, even though my back prickled at the visitors walking past, glancing at us and the wolf. We were a spectacle, too. We were wolves, too. If they knew, would they stare at us and click their cameras and whisper as well?