Page 4 of Not My Mate

I slapped him away roughly, gritted my teeth, and pulled myself up. I felt a little dizzy and was breathing roughly. He moved closer and I dodged, kicking out at him reflexively, a blocking blow with my lower body. He veered slightly and gathered himself, springing up far faster than I had. He was on a level, actually taller than me now, and panting, too. He glared at me. He reached out and shoved my shoulder.

"He'll never love you," he spat.

I reached into the dishwater and threw a spoon at his chest. "Use that."

He raised his hands, shook his head, and walked away, steps fast and angry, leaving me to clean up the mess.

Good riddance and fuck him.

I finished the dishes up quickly and wiped up the mess we'd spilled. He'd changed into his wolf form by the time I caught up, so I stayed in my human form. We were less likely to fight if we weren't both in the same form.

He glared at me, a heavy-eyed look. He was a huge wolf, shaggy and black-furred with dark, resentful eyes. He lowered his head when he looked at me, then turned away, raising it. He hated me today; fine. The feeling was mutual. I'd better stay away, or I'd be tempted to kick him, and that wasn't fair. It was only fair to fight if we were both in the same form.

Briefly, I considered shifting so I could bite him again — properly this time.

#

Training the newbies went well. Lots of endurance and encouragement, Kim doing most of the talking, Russ doing most of the work to get them used to being around wolves. Killie went over some weapons stuff with them, and I talked them through some of the job requirements and ran with them.

Russ was being extra annoying today. He kept moving into my space, brushing against me as I ran so I almost tripped. It was nothing most people would've spotted, but I saw Killie watching us. His expression was blank, but that didn't mean anything.

Russ went a little too far, then, veering right in front of me, too close, and I took the chance, timing it just right because I'd been watching for just this. He'd been getting overconfident, and now I had my chance. Timing it just right so I didn't fall, I caught my knee into his side and sent him forward like a punt. He didn't make a sound, but he turned back towards me with his teeth showing, looking like he'd like to rake some of the flesh off my shin. I gave him a hard, daring grin, and he zigged away again and ran faster, getting ahead of me.

Killie caught my attention, shook his head slightly, and pointed to his eyes with two fingers, then ahead.Keep your attention on the run. I nodded and settled on pacing myself to stay even with the newbies, who were starting to struggle. We do a lot of running, because it's a good way to get in shape. Also, when you're on the job, moving fast, sometimes you have to run.

When we finally let them take a break, all the mad had worn off me. We all plopped down for a rest in the forest, pine needles softening the ground beneath us. I heard the newbies panting. Kim rested casually against a tree trunk and began to clean under her nails with a Bowie knife. Killie went into a crouch and pulled out his gun to clean it. He did that a lot, when it couldn't possibly be dirty.

Russ, no longer breathing roughly at all, looked around, then came back to me and plopped down beside me on the ground. I reached over and dug my fingers into his fur without even thinking. But if I'd been in my wolf form, I'd have bitten him.

His fur felt good under my fingers, real and stiff, strong and masculine. He was a big wolf with lots of heavy, rough fur. He kept clean, and he didn't have an unpleasant smell, and when he wasn't being an asshole, I didn't mind being around him. But that wasn't often.

He let me dig my fingers into his fur in a kind of rough massage for a few moments, then he rolled over, exposing his belly, and reached up and caught my wrist between his teeth. I stilled, staring down at him. He didn't put any pressure on my fragile human skin and bones, just held me in his jaws. The others were all watching us. Killie had stilled, Kim looked bored, and the newbies were bug-eyed.

Fucking do it, I thought.Hurt me in a way you can't pretend you didn't. I stared at him, willing him to understand the message I didn't want to say aloud in front of others. Our fights were private; they were just between us.

He dropped my hand and looked away, rolling away from me, then lying still, head on the ground, as if he couldn't even stand to look at me.

I reached over and gave his tail a quick tug, and he jumped to his feet, huffing. It hadn't been a rough tug, but it had ruffled his dignity. He stalked around me in a circle, and I watched him, eyes narrow, gaze flat, silently daring him to start something more.

He stalked around me once more, all silent fierce predator and huge furry beast. Then he huffed and dropped himself unexpectedly on my lap, forcing the air out of me in a whuff. One of the newbies laughed, suddenly and awkwardly. Russ gave them a cold look, and they stopped laughing.

I gave him a little shove, but he wasn't budging. Once again, he was pinning me in place. To struggle more would be undignified, would make our fights more public than I wanted them to be. He knew this, and stayed where he was, looking just slightly triumphant and maybe even smug. He licked his wolf lips, and his eyes gleamed at me. He was every beast from a fairy tale come to life, the big wolf who wanted to eat you up.

Not me, you don't, I told him silently.

You, his eyes said, his fierce eyes that I knew as well as my own.You.

I looked away, pretending I didn't care what he did.

#

At our lunchtime break, I went back to the house to take a shower. I was sweaty from the run. Afterwards, I didn't bother with clothes, just padded out in my fur. Sahil was in the kitchen, and I gave his ankle a lick when I got near enough.

"Hi, Charlie," he said, dodging me, a smile in his voice. "How are you?"

I looked up at him and wished, and loved, and smiled as best I could. He loved it when his wolves smiled at him.

Sure enough, the expression made him melt, and he dropped into a crouch in front of me, reaching up to gingerly rub my ears. "You're such a pretty wolf," he informed me.