Page 40 of Never Let Go (Forbidden #1)

Chapter Forty

CALEB

A fter not being able to find Lauren or contact her last night, I barely slept.

Worry over where she was and if she was okay at the forefront of my mind.

Unlike other protective boyfriends I couldn’t exactly go raising hell trying to find her.

I’m just fucking glad it’s the first day back after Christmas break so I know she’ll be in class.

I shower quickly and get dressed—white shirt, black slacks, and black sneakers. I grab a coffee and head out to my car. Make It Make Sense by A Day To Remember plays to match my mood. I need to apologize to Lauren, and I need to do it soon. I’m just not sure how.

I could buy her flowers? Too obvious.

I could take her to dinner? We can’t be seen out together.

I could buy her chocolate? No, she hates chocolate.

Think, dammit! What can I do to make Lauren forgive me?

Pulling up on campus I park my car and head into the English building, weaving between students catching up after the holidays. I head to my office and see Brad waiting outside .

Breathe.

Pasting on a fake smile, I greet him. “Brad. You looking for me?” I unlock the door and head in without waiting for his reply. Rounding my desk, I throw my satchel on the desk with a thump .

Brad hastily follows me in, saying, “Yeah, I just wanted to catch you up on Lauren Taylor.”

Hearing her name is like a punch to the gut. I swallow thickly as I ask, “How’s she doing?” I try to play it cool, my face devoid of any emotion but every muscle in my body tenses. Has he heard from her?

He takes a seat in the chair opposite my desk as he says, “Good. She’s caught up with all her assignments. I’ve marked them and she’s straight A’s. That brain of hers is incredible,” he chuckles.

I can’t hit a student, right?

I hum in acknowledgment, but he carries on.

“The dean keeps wanting to see her. At first I thought he was just keeping tabs, but he asked me if she has a boyfriend. I told him I didn’t know…”

Brad’s still talking but I’ve zoned out, lost in thought. I get that he’s a creep but why is Dean Williams so interested in Lauren? What’s his endgame here?

“… so that’s you all up to date,” Brad finishes.

I wave my hand to dismiss him, I’m being a dick I know but I’ve got a lot on my plate, plus Brad’s still on my shit list for taking Lauren on a date. He leaves and I focus on work.

Walking into the auditorium, I desperately quell the urge to look for Lauren, instead, walking to the desk, I brace my arms against the corner, taking a deep breath and practicing my fake smile as students filter in behind me.

Once I’ve practiced enough, I stand to my full height and turn around, starting with the opposite side of the room where I know Lauren is.

Sweeping my gaze around slowly, I’m finally met with the green eyes I’ve been searching for.

A breath I didn’t know I’d been holding releases from me knowing that she’s safe.

Lauren holds my gaze, her emotions for once closed off, and I’ve never been so pissed.

Pissed because all I want to do is vault over the chairs and claim her in front of everyone.

To tell the world that this girl belongs to me .

I convey with my eyes—as much as I can—how sorry I am. If she notices, she doesn’t acknowledge it.

Averting my eyes and clearing my throat, I start the lecture, keeping my eyes trained on anything and anyone that isn’t Lauren.

Just before the bell rings, I hand out the recently graded papers, leaving Lauren’s until last on purpose. Sliding her paper in front of her, she peers up at me, her eyes shining with a multitude of different emotions—anger, lust, frustration, and my personal favorite, sadness.

“Can you stay after class?” I ask quietly. My heart thumping wildly at the thought she might tell me to get fucked, and not in a good way.

She doesn’t say anything, just inclines her head once. I’ll take it. At least she’s giving me the chance to—hopefully—fix this clusterfuck I’ve made.

I wait until everyone’s left before locking the door. Lauren's still sitting where I left her, so I stride over, my long legs eating up the distance in seconds .

Sitting down next to her, elbows on my knees, I whisper, “I fucked up, sweetheart.”

When Lauren doesn’t reply, I glance up at her so she can see the sincerity in my eyes, that if I could take it back, I would.

“I was wrong. In my head I was trying to help, but instead I made you feel like I was trying to control you. I’m sorry.”

Lauren sighs, mirroring my posture. “You’re right, Caleb. You did make me feel like you were trying to control me, but you also made me feel like what I do doesn’t matter. Yes, being a stripper isn’t exactly the world’s greatest vocation, but I love it. Any job I do matters to me.”

Sitting back up, I can see the tears forming in her eyes, and I feel like she’s punched me in the gut, again .

“It sent me into a spiral, Caleb, and that is not okay . Yes, it was partly my fault for allowing it, but I felt like all my control had vanished. I couldn’t breathe .”

Lauren pauses, wiping the unfallen tears on her sleeve, before continuing, “I don’t want to end up like my mom, Caleb.

She relied on men to make her feel good, to feed her addiction, to keep a roof over her head.

I don’t want that. I want a partner, someone who sees me as their equal no matter the job I’m doing. ”

If this woman could rip my heart out and feed it to me, she just did.

Phantom pain races through my veins at the hurt I’ve caused her.

Not realizing what a few little words—inconsequential to me but massively triggering for her—could do.

I’m desperate to wrap her up in my arms and protect her from the world, but I can’t so I clench my hands, to keep from reaching for her.

“I have some serious making up to do, sweetheart,” I choke out, emotion pooling in my eyes.

Lauren’s smile is small but it’s there. “Yeah, you kinda do. ”

“Come over tonight? I’ll grovel anyway you see fit,” I plead, sitting up straighter, hope blooming in my chest that I haven’t fucked this up completely.

“I’m working late tonight, I have a meeting, but let me get you a key and you can let yourself in.

” I guess it was the right thing to say because Lauren’s eyes light up like the Fourth of July and I get a wide, toothy grin.

“Oh, handsome. You’re going to wish you never said that,” she purrs.

My cock goes instantly hard in my slacks from her sultry tone, and I groan. “Fuck. Why is that so hot?”

I adjust myself as I stand up and walk to my desk, anticipation for tonight causing goosebumps to raise on my arms. Removing the keys from my bag, I take my house key and hold it out to her.

Lauren grabs her bag and stands up, swinging her hips as she walks toward me, a wicked grin—one full of promise—on her gorgeous face. She takes the key and heads for the door. As she unlocks it, she turns around, giving me a wink before slipping out into the hallway.

Yup, I’m fucked for this girl.