Page 51 of My Husband’s Wife

Fifty

Panic had overwhelmed her last night, so Theo had given her something he’d been prescribed for his anxiety, and she’d fallen into a deep nightmarish sleep.

She now found herself staring at her made-up face and wedding hair in a mirror at the Clifton House Hotel with not much recollection of how she arrived.

She was getting married. Her heart juddered away.

‘It’s okay to be nervous…’ Orla places the hairspray down. ‘You look beautiful.’

The dress gapes under the arms but who cares?

She might as well get married in the slip she’s wearing, the one that’s meant to go underneath her clothes.

Her head is woozy, like she’s had too much to drink.

The wedding planner takes her from Orla and leads her to the bridal suite.

It’s as if everything is just happening and she has no say in it.

As she enters, everyone cheers and a glass of champagne is thrust into her hand.

She thinks of Emily and the fact that she can no longer feed her, then she gulps the drink down.

Camille holds Emily. Instead of a joyful look on her face, Camille looks worried, like she’s pasting a smile on.

Madison knows she shouldn’t have mentioned the deposit on the other house.

Her three cousins and her mother begin to pop another bottle.

One of them starts playing a Black Eyed Peas song at full blast, which almost knocks Madison off her feet.

Soon she is swept into the frivolity as Francesca starts doing a cute dance while holding Madison’s hand.

She holds the tears back, knowing that if she goes along with what Theo wants, she might only see her little niece once a year.

There is a knock at the door.

‘Must be the wedding planner again.’ Camille rolls her eyes as she opens the door.

‘Who is it?’ Madison calls, barely able to think or hear. A wave of giddiness comes over her. She makes her way to the door, glass in hand. It can’t be…she clicks her fingers, hoping that Eva will magically disappear, but she doesn’t. ‘Er, Eva from the Sea Horse?’ Eva shouldn’t be here.

‘I need to talk to you. It’s important,’ she yells.

The base thuds through Madison’s feet. She’s confused enough without Eva turning up. Madison’s hair is coming slightly loose and dangling around her shoulders.

Madison calls back to the party. ‘Carry on. I’ll just be a moment.’ What she needs to do is get rid of Eva. Her life has felt like it’s unravelling since Eva came into it.

‘Theo isn’t who you think he is. He’s my husband, I mean my dead husband Hugo.

Look.’ Eva enlarges a photo on her phone.

It’s of her dead husband and her son, who Madison recognises from her Instagram account.

Then she shows her the photo of the babies, one like the photos Madison found in Theo’s cabin.

‘See this, this is our son, Caiden, and our daughter, Emily, a short while after they were born.’

‘Where did you get that photo?’ Madison knows that’s a photo of Theo and his sister Emily.

‘You broke into our house. It was you the other night.’ Madison feels rage building up inside her.

It’s radiating from her core and needs to escape, and the fact that Eva hasn’t denied breaking into the cabin makes it worse.

Had she been at the cottage again the other night?

Brownish roots, red hair? Had anyone been at the cottage?

She can’t cope with her mind full of unanswered questions, and she needs everyone to shut up so she can think.

Heart thudding, she rests her hand on the doorframe to stop herself toppling.

‘He’s not Theo. You have to believe me. I need to prove it to you and everyone. I’m not going mad. I’ve just been speaking to his mum, Cynthia.’

‘His mum is not called Cynthia. Seriously, Eva, get out now or I’m calling the police.

In fact, I’m going to call them anyway, just not today because you’re already ruining my big day.

It’s as if that bump into the fence the other week has fried your brain.

You want to know why we cancelled to come here?

Theo had a bad feeling about you and now I can see why. ’

‘He’s going to kill me.’

She’s being melodramatic now and Madison can’t cope anymore. Theo may be a liar but a killer – seriously? She slams the door in Eva’s face – and instantly regrets it. She wishes the floor would swallow her up and take her to a quiet room away from the chaos.

There is a knock at the door, again. Madison’s cousin opens it and swears, getting rid of whoever it was. Madison assumes it was Eva again. Her older cousin puts another song on and turns the volume up even more.

‘We need to get your dress on.’ Camille feeds it over her head. One of the others has already placed her shoes in front of her to step into. Once again, she’s being carried along with no way back, down a one-way road to hell with no brakes.

Her thoughts swell as she’s taken down in the lift, her bridal party there waiting and cheering.

Emily whimpers and Francesca sings a nursery rhyme to Eden.

The noise filling her head needs a release.

She’s hot and her breaths are coming short and sharp.

Her stomach churns even worse now as she’s delivered to the back of the ceremony room.

Ed Sheeran starts to play. She peers through the door at the back, and a bouquet is thrust into her hands.

Of course she takes it. She’s become the person who has forgotten how to say no, the person who is doubting her own sanity.

Is this what madness feels like? If it is, it’s the noise in the brain that feels like a humming colony of insects that are trying to find a way out.

It’s the sight of a swaying room when you know there hasn’t been an earthquake and it’s the sickness in the pit of your stomach that is telling you to run as fast as you can and never come back.

‘I need a minute. I can’t breathe. Stay with Emily.

’ She doesn’t want Camille to follow her.

She needs to be all alone. After almost tripping over her own feet, she darts past reception and through the main doors where she drinks in a lungful of air and tunes into the singing birds and the gentle breeze.

Everything flashes through her mind. The feeling of being watched.

The ring. The raven toy. The photos. Her sanity.

The move. Her business. Theo’s eyes. Theo’s lies. What Eva said!

She paces around the car park until she spots a weeping willow, then she sits under it and wipes her damp eyes.

‘Madison.’ It’s Camille calling.

‘I’m here.’ She stands up and staggers towards her sister, the champagne on an empty stomach taking full effect.

As she passes a row of cars, she stops to pick up the blood-tinged hairpiece.

It’s Eva’s. Why didn’t she leave the bridal suite and talk to Eva?

Madison had been horrible to her. She should have at least listened but she’s not herself.

‘What’s that?’

‘The woman who came to the bridal suite, it’s her hairpiece.’

Camille takes it off her. ‘If you have a single doubt right now, don’t marry him, Madison. You and Emily can stay with us. We’ll work this out.’

She can’t fight the sobs, and the thought of having to explain everything to her mum and dad makes everything worse. ‘I don’t want to move away and I want to keep my salon. I’m losing my mind.’

‘You are not losing your mind. You’re the sanest person I know, Maddie. It’s him. I can’t put my finger on it but I’ve never trusted him, and him trying to isolate you from us was the last straw.’

Madison walks to the ceremony room, knowing what she has to do.

As the music starts again, she leaves her bridesmaids behind and walks up the aisle.

Her make-up has run down her face and there’s a grass stain on her white dress.

Her mother gasps out loud. As soon as she reaches the front, she leans into Theo’s ear and whispers.

‘I’m on to you. I’m leaving you and I will never marry you.

We’re over.’ Then she runs out of the room, the guests aghast. For the first time in months, she can hear herself think.

Camille is close behind with Emily in her arms. ‘Get in the car, sis. I am so proud of you. Let’s get you out of here.’