Page 3 of My Husband’s Wife
Two
After a few rain showers, I’m finally driving through the quaint narrow streets of Combe Martin. We had to stop five times so that either Caiden or Freddie could pee but we’ve made it.
I received a message two hours ago telling me that the removal lorry had arrived and all our belongings were being unloaded.
Taking the snake-like roads slowly, I can’t help but notice the white-rendered houses with touches of blue that scream seaside.
I almost let out a shriek of excitement when I give way to let a car pass through a tight gap.
There is the cutest little shop with seashells in the window.
We’re going to be so happy here. Caiden yawns as he wakes from his brief slumber, and Freddie starts barking.
‘Mum, I can see the sea,’ Caiden yells as he rubs the sleep from his eyes.
‘Yay, we’re here. You played on that beach when you were even smaller than you are now, and we were even here when you were in my tummy.’
‘I’m not small. I’m ten.’
Yes, still small, I’d like to say to him, but he thinks he’s grown up now because he makes sandwiches and cupcakes.
‘Do you remember the time you filled your bucket with seaweed and poured it over me when I was sunbathing? I screamed so loud, a man walking close by thought I’d been hurt. We never laughed so much.’
Caiden’s brows are furrowed. We have lots of photos but I worry that Caiden will have forgotten how it felt to hug his dad. Could he still hear his dad’s voice in his head, or have those memories gone? ‘I think so,’ he replies, deep in thought.
After the car has passed, I carry on driving.
I don’t think Caiden really remembers that holiday.
It was a hot August day when Caiden was four.
Later that same day, we’d had an early dinner at the beach pub.
Caiden had fallen asleep in Hugo’s arms and I just blurted out what I’d been thinking.
‘I really want another baby.’ Hugo couldn’t contain his excitement.
We made plans, we were happy and after several months of trying for a baby with no success, he was gone.
I take a couple of deep breaths. This move is meant to be our new start, so why can’t I stop thinking about the past since visiting Hugo’s tree? Maybe it’s because I came to live here. I shake those thoughts of the past away. Our new house awaits us.
The closer we get, the more excited I am.
The happy, nervous butterflies in my tummy begin to flutter.
A couple with a child walk up the steps from the beach, raincoats flapping in the breeze.
A quick glance to my left tells me that no one else is on the sand, nor are they walking around the rockpools that frame the far end of the beach.
The huge cliff and hills behind the beach make me shudder a little.
I always end up living on hills and Hugo died on a hill, but I find them breathtakingly beautiful.
What happened to Hugo was tragic, nothing more.
I drive around the bend and continue for half a mile until I come to our new home. I pull up behind the lorry and smile as I watch Zach carrying boxes. My new husband, Zach. I feel a little dizzy when I say that in my head as it’s been such a whirlwind.
Before I get the chance to grab my phone, Caiden is already out of the car and Freddie barks in my ear. The gate is open so I leash Freddie before I let him jump off the seat to join us.
‘Eva.’
Zach runs over to me, picks me up just a couple of inches off the ground and kisses me. His arms feel strong and protective. All I want to do is sink into him.
‘I’ve missed you, babe.’ He puts me down and we kiss again.
I’ve missed this and I can’t wait to sleep with him in our bed tonight and have my whole family under one roof.
‘You have to see the kitchen.’
‘I’ve missed you so much.’ I can’t stop kissing him. We haven’t seen each other since he came back to Malvern eight weeks ago. It feels like forever. ‘And I can’t wait to see all that you’ve done to the house.’
‘Seriously, it’s better than the photos show.’
Dragging me by the hand he pulls me and I pull Freddie.
Caiden is already upstairs checking out which bedroom might be his.
We go through to the snug with the inglenook fireplace at the far end.
Two huge charcoal-coloured beams strike lines through the ceiling.
Then we step into a small dividing room that already contains the ten-seater dining table that I’d kept in storage as we couldn’t fit it into the cottage.
The old part of the house then opens up to a huge kitchen-cum-family room; the very reason we specifically wanted this house.
The uninterrupted, floor-to-ceiling glass view of the pebbly beach and sea below is everything Zach and I dreamed we might be able to afford.
‘Mummy, can I have the big bedroom with my own bathroom?’
I laugh and ruffle my son’s hair. ‘I think that one’s ours, Caiden.
There are three more bedrooms, go and choose one of the other decorated rooms.’ I place Freddie’s lead under a chair leg to keep him safe while I look around properly.
Brushing my fingers against the deep blue Shaker-style kitchen drawers, I open and close one.
The huge island in the middle is topped with the exact worktop I chose and uploaded to our virtual mood board.
My eyes well up. ‘I can’t believe you’ve done all this.
’ I head over to the lounge part of the room and press my hand down on the new charcoal-grey sofa, excited about buying soft furnishings to jazz it up.
‘I’m glad you approve, Mrs Wright.’
‘I do, and I’ll show you how much I approve later.’ God, I’ve missed him. I reach up and run my fingers through his full head of dark hair which is slightly mussed-up as always. Linking my hand in his, I feel for the callouses, a reminder of all his hard work, and I stroke them.
‘Is that a promise?’ He grins and kisses me again.
‘Of course, but I think we need to unpack and eat first.’ Freddie whines as he drags the chair in an attempt to escape his lead.
‘Let’s get this done.’
Zach says goodbye to the removal staff and picks up the box marked Electricals . ‘I should go and set the TV up. I’m guessing Caiden will want to watch something later.’
I nod. ‘At the very least, it might give us some peace while we unpack. It’s going to be a long evening.
I’m heading up to make the beds and then I think we should get a takeaway later.
A celebration is called for.’ I glance back through the house and see that the front door is now closed, so I release Freddie.
He wags his tail and starts to sniff everything.
‘That sounds like the best plan.’
However much I want to slump onto one of the sofas and sleep, I know I have too much to do.
I run upstairs and hear a voice coming from the room at the very end of the hall.
I gently listen at the door to Caiden chatting away to himself.
‘This is our new home and this is my room, Doggo.’ A bit of clanking around is followed by more chattering.
‘Dad, we’re at our new home. Mummy said we always came on holiday here but I can’t really remember.
’ He pauses. ‘I found this,’ he pauses, ‘which I’ll keep safe forever.
I wish you were here and that you didn’t die. ’
I knock before nudging the door open. ‘Caiden.’ I don’t see the object he says he’ll keep safe forever. All I see is Doggo and stacks of boxes.
‘I chose this room, Mummy. My bed was already in here.’
He still calls me Mummy sometimes, mostly when he’s tired, or he’s feeling poorly.
I sit on the edge of the mattress, lean over and kiss his cool head.
‘Well, I think it’s perfect.’ There are plenty of built-in cupboards and shelves for all his toys and clothes, and being in the roof of the older part of the house means the room has charm with its uneven angles and vaulted ceiling.
‘I know you miss Daddy a lot. Were you talking to him just then, before I came in?’
‘No. Daddy’s dead. I was talking to Doggo and I know Doggo is only a teddy. I’m ten, not five, but I still like to talk to Doggo sometimes because he doesn’t ask me questions.’
I shrug and sit up straight, slightly upset that my son prefers to talk to a stuffed dog over me. ‘Okay, but you know you can always talk to me, about anything.’
‘I know, Mum.’
Freddie jumps onto the bed and begins licking Caiden’s cheeks. ‘Freddie, that’s yuck.’ Caiden giggles and play fights Freddie. As he rolls back onto the bed, he drags his coat with him, revealing something that makes me shiver.
‘Caiden, where did you get this?’
‘It’s mine. I want it.’ He snatches it from my hand and storms out of his room with Freddie barking at his legs. I’m open-mouthed with confusion. I want to call him back but instead, I let him go. I spot an opening at the back of one of the built-in cupboards. It’s a gap and it’s empty.
Why did Caiden have Hugo’s toy raven, the one with a sucker at its base? The one that had been stuck to Hugo’s dashboard when he crashed to his death? The one that was never recovered from the wreck of my dead husband’s car?